George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Despite years of practice with his cutlass, he’d yet to kill anyone with it.
“I’m good at parrying,” he protested. “I could parry all day and not get a scratch. Then, while I’m parrying, someone else gets the kill. Perhaps if you changed your metrics to measure teamwork instead of individual achievements, it would better reflect my contributions to the raiding parties.”
The captain scratched his beard, thought for a moment, and then handed George a mop.
“The deck needs swabbing,” he chortled.
George wasn’t good at chortling, either.