Three Percent

I did one of those online surveys that told me that I was 97 percent evil.
What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong?
Not the 97 percent, mind you. I’m worried about the 3 percent good.
How am I going to get a management position in Hell with that much good in me? 3 percent good gets you graveyard shift in the Comcast call centers in Hell.
I need 100% pure evil. Total evil. No good at all.
I’ll make supervisor. Management. Maybe even executive.
Just three percent good.
And I’ll start with you, my little prisoner.

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