I am fat.
I exercise. I diet.
But I am sick of bland and boring food.
I tried the Thug Life Cookbook.
It is full of savory and enticing vegan dishes.
But my stomach couldn’t take it.
Too much spice. Too much heat.
I was sick all of the time.
This stuff is supposed to make me feel good and enjoy food.
But I feel awful all of the time.
I bought a bottle of malt liquor and poured it out for my fallen homies.
Then, I washed the bottle.
And filled it with chicken broth.
It looks about right.