I remember when a little deaf girl sat in Santa’s lap, but Santa didn’t speak sign language, the girl mumbled incomprehensibly, and she was signing too quickly for her mother to translate.
“Can she just write it down?” said Santa, handing a pad and pen to the girl.
She drew a heart.
So, Santa told one of his helper elves to stand still, and he punched the elf in the chest and tore out his heart, showing it to him before he died.
“Will this do?” said Santa.
The girl shrieked and cried.
“Well, I understood that,” said Santa. “NEXT!”