Scat

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On a site that’s full of crap, Andrew Ian Dodge talks about scat…

In politics one expects to get shat on every now and then. It is expected that the excrement will strike the ventilation device at times. Mark Oaten MP likes it; quite literally. He is not humiliated enough to be in party that will never be in government. No doubt some of the more curious of you hearing this have opened an email or “stumbled” on a scat site. Oaten used to be a shadow cabinet member and very recently a candidate for the leadership of the Lib-Dems….now he is bringing the shit down on his own party. Well; shit happens.

Kinda makes you wonder about Scatman Crothers.

Kill Your Own

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Andrew Ian Dodge does a Dear Diary in his latest…

Last night I attended the CD launch of the new 100 Reasons CD Kill Your Own at the rather nice HQ of V2 Records in Holland Park. The record company is housed in a lovely large house with its own bar in the basement. The new CD was produced by the guitarist and is an interesting mixture of modern heavy rock and old school metal. Its not released until March; but I was generally rather impressed. It was nice to hear some of the fellow rock journos recognised my band name when I mentioned it. An early evening well spent.

Where can the CD be bought online?

Massively Multiplayer

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Andrew Ian Dodge tells a little tale from his experiences reviewing some online games…

There’s a type of person who inhabits MMORPGS: the ganker or griefer. These types, who are generally male, use every possible exploit they can to make sure they can bully other players; primarily those of a lower level. Any criticism is met with cries of “whiner” or “go play something else”. What these fools don’t care about is the fact they ruin the game for others and in many cases kill off the game they are playing. You see they don’t care that game companies need players to keep a game going. Like bullies; all that matters is their fun.

Me, I stay away from them. Because there’s no reason to pay ten bucks a month to hear others whine.

The Radio Show

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Andrew Ian Dodge looks in his crystal ball and tries to read the swirling tealeaves within…

It is January 17th 2007 at 10pm in the east. A long-haired rocker awaits his cue calmly; while a certain Jewish Texan quips methodically and amuslingly in a studio in Houston. The co-host twitches like a cat in heat in anticipation of launching into his latest rant against Iran. The pair are counted in…5,4,3,2.1…
“It’s the Dodge & Simon Hour from Houston, Texas and the centre of London.”
Andrew and Laurence launch right into the chat they were having off radio; now with a large radio audience.
“So the attack on Iran is imminent?”
“Imminent takes too long…” retorts Simon.

The correct time to remove any warmongering dictator bent on genocide is yesterday.

Despair

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Jim S. falls into a deep, dark despair…

Despair.
Deep, dark despair.
It was a long story but he tried to make it shorter. The woman, the man and the child. It all ends in a deep, dark despair of the type that you only read about in those books with fancy Thor-like men on the cover. She’d left him for a history professor she admired and she had taken his boy.
Anyway, he looked down at the people below and decided that he should make them wait a little longer for the grand finale. Then again, he’d already thrown the baby and the bitch over, why wait?

Yes! The final twist!
A perfect match for this site! Hooray!

Judenhass

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Another classic from Andrew Ian Dodge

Mr. Halpern wrote to the letter’s page of the Telegraph.

…The UN should make it clear that any unauthorised military strike against Iran by Israel would lead to a boycott of all Israeli goods by the EU and Nafta.

Israel has not right to defend herself; even if attacked? Most UN countries boycott Israel already; the UN are a bunch of Jew-hating cretins. This nitwit went on to claim that since Israel has not signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty they have no right to complain. I wonder if he knows how moronic his letter reads? Or should that be judenhass?

One day, we’ll get a happy story about fluffy bunnies and hugs from Andrew. I just know it.
Ooooh, and duckies!

Apartment

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Now we learn about Jim’s home life…

It was the same old story. The one that involves wet noodles, dancing girls and a jealous orangutan.
Well, maybe it wasn’t all THAT common, but it was the same old story to me as I laid here in bed, staring out the rear window of my stuffy apartment. I saw the clear blue skies that I wouldn’t be able to stand under and inhale the sweet summer wind for quite some time yet.
Which gave me more than enough time to plot what I was going to do to that wretched monkey when I got a hold of it.

I get the feeling we’ll find out in the very near future.

Work

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Jim S. has returned with a few more stories. I’ll trickle these into the feed so you can savor each of them. They’re really good.

He returned to his work with a renewed vigor not seen by many. Concentrating, he quickly moved through the job at hand. Repetitive and boring as it was, that didn’t matter now. All that mattered was the job.
Left, right, up, back. Done.
Repeat.
Left, right, up, back. Done.
Repeat.
Only a couple more and the job would be finished. The obsession would be quelled… for a little while at least.
Finishing up, he stepped away from the table to admire his work. He sighed and confirmed it in his mind; he WAS the best jumpsuit folder in the prison!

Obsession can be a strange thing.
Record MP3… FTP MP3… make entry… Save… rebuild feed…
Record MP3… FTP MP3… make entry… Save… rebuild feed…

Ken Oyster

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Andrew Ian Dodge comes back from a weekend with another fine story about life in London:

Today I got back from a lovely weekend with my girlfriend, Kim. Alas, there was one downside. I had to pay £3 for a one way ticket within Zone 1-2. The last time I did this it was £2.20. In other words our lovely socialist terrorist-loving Mayor has managed to increase fares way over inflation. It is patently obvious that he thinks anyone using the tube at peak times is obviously rich. Would it surprise you to hear Ken wants us to all have Oyster cards which allow the London Underground to track your every move? Big brother Ken methinks.

And yet it’s George Galloway on Big Brother?

Bumfight

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More political insight from our friend across the pond, Andrew Ian Dodge

Five blokes are itching to lead their party or at least their version of the party. What party you might ask? Well this time it’s the Liberal-Democrats turn to pick a new leader after their previous one fell for being an chronic alky. Political hacks & addicts will have noted that there are two clear parts of the party who are not just divided by a hyphen. As the race moves on all five of these men attempt to be everything to all members but at the same time reassuring their “base”. Who will fall off the leadership tightrope first?

Oh well. There goes my hope of his Friday Catpodcasting.