Where Math Is Feared

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Every year, children who question the importance of mathematics are taken on a field trip to the math-challenged Duchy of East Rosemarch.
The town square only has three sides. No two streets are the same width. The currency constantly changes value, causing economic chaos. Felons are let out of jail at random times.
Most kids realize the simple lesson of the Duchy, but there’s always a few dim bulbs that find the experience enticing and captivating.
They usually end up living in the Duchy when they get older, joining the society of math-phobic fools in perpetual numerical and geometric madness.

Chadwick

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Baron Chadwick stood at the parapet at sundown and serenaded the moon with the strains of violin music.
For hundreds of years, the moon rewarded him with restful sleep and another day of life.
He keep the arrangement a secret, quietly changing servants every decade or so.
But one morning, Chadwick awoke to find his violin and butler gone.
He watched the creases reappear on the backs of his hands throughout the day. As the sun went down, he felt the telltale aches and pains.
Chadwick pulled his the spare violin and played… with the same old ancient magical bow.

Abdul Part 3

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Andrew Ian Dodge continues the creepy tale of Abdul…

Abdul smiled broadly as the doctor swabbed his arm; attempting to find a vein for the injection. Did not even bother him that no one showed up; he had plenty of company in his head. Odd music played in his head as the procedure continued; the cacophony of large scale chanting. He felt the poison in his veins. In Abdul’s case the light was greenish in colour and emanating from something deep below the sea. He floated towards the light; unearthly sounds filled the water around him. He carried on towards his “reward;” one that he would enjoy for eternity.

Two Knights

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Two knights lay in a pile of wrecked armor, shattered lances, and bent swords.
“Yield?” wheezed Sir Humphreys.
“Never,” coughed Sir Boltac.
Boltac looked around for a weapon to use, but they were all damaged.
“We could use fists,” suggested Humphreys.
“Fists are for knaves,” said Boltac. “We are men of honor.”
Humprheys agreed, and winced as he tried to get up.
“We must settle this somehow,” moaned Humphreys.
“Thumbwrestling honorable enough?” asked Boltac.
“Sure,” said Humphreys. “En garde!”
Dusk came, and two knights lay in a pile of wrecked armor, shattered lances, and bent swords, nursing their broken thumbs.

Dagonvision

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Andrew Ian Dodge tells the tale of another level entirely to Europe’s big song contest…

In a fishing village off the coast of Turkey they sat stunned seeing what was going on before them. They feared the repercussions for their master as they sat in the Dagon Ministry Hall watching the large TV. “Their” a-tonal entry was wallowing near the bottom of the rankings for the contest. Anastasyia Siren was secretly a member of their cult set to tour Europe to spread the word of Dagon. Europe was voting in their droves for mock horror and heavy metal! A no-message rock party anthem, Lordi! He would no be pleased…they collectively shuddered at the result.

Pay Your Respects

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Why don’t we allow the press to photograph the coffins returning home?
It’s because we don’t want them being counted.
The truth is, very few of our boys are dying over there. Sure, a few of our boys get dinged up pretty bad, but we’ve recovered most of them and they insist on going back and fighting.
Still, we’ve got a contract for so many coffins, flags, and burial plots per quarter. And you know how the Pentagon is with negotiating contracts.
No room to store them all and the paperwork’s a bitch, so we might as well use ’em.

The Clockwork Timothy

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Timothy got a haircut once a month. He also went to the dentist, the doctor, and the optometrist once every six months.
Just like clockwork.
From the earliest he could remember, his mother taught him to keep the routine going. Shoes, clothes, recycling, bills, cleaning…
Like dozens of gears within his mind ticking away the constant countdown of Timothy’s life.
If he deviated from it by a single day, she’d throw a fit until he was back on schedule.
She even got him into the routine of visiting her grave on Fridays to lay flowers three years before she died.

Abdul Part 2

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Andrew Ian Dodge checks on how Abdul is doing

Abdul sat in his cell on death-row peering at some far distant place no one else could see. He was offered a religious text of his choosing; but refused telling his jailers that “God speaks directly to me, so I do not need to read anyone else’s interpretation of his words.” His head filled with visions of a place he looked forward to going to; with meliflous unworldly music filling the vision. Feeding time barely brought him out of his trance and he repeatedly told anyone; he looked forward to the next step. Fellow prisoners complained of odd noise every night…

Weekly Challenge #5 – Horse Racing

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Welcome to the fifth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was horse racing.
Eight stories were submitted this week, plus the usual madness from the planet of insane bards, Planet Z. Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorite:

Who wrote the best story this week?
Erica of Gardenspot
PJ at No Deep Thoughts
Kris of Gradualdazzle
Tommy of Striving For Average
Rahel of Elms In The Yard
Elisson of blog d’Elisson
Andrew of Dodgeblogium
Beck of Incite
The Mystery Writer From Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme will be posted shortly.

Spooky Golf Course

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You’d think that a golf course built on a graveyard would be creepy, but once you get beyond the shock of spectral caddies and zombie groundskeepers it’s actually pretty nice. And a challenge to boot.
I have yet to lose a single ball there. No matter where I whack it, my caddy finds it. Isn’t that great?
You’ve got to be careful with summoning a caddy though. Light the candles in the wrong order or pause at the wrong moment during the spell, and you might end up summoning Satan.
He’s a lousy caddy. Chews club heads, keeps score wrong…