Ted was always telling Alice to go fuck herself.
So, she went ahead and did it.
She pulled off Ted’s head, put hers on Ted’s body, and fucked herself.
Right before she came, she realized that she wasn’t on the pill, and she hadn’t put on a condom, either.
She panicked, pulled out, and made a sticky mess on herself. Still, it felt great.
Ted had a condom in his wallet, so she cleaned up, put it on, and fucked herself again.
The second time was even better. And the third. And the fourth. And…
Ted’s head watched it all.
Poker Night at the magic guild sometimes got fierce.
It was down to one last hand, Aaron and Jane raising and raising and raising.
Jane ran out of chips.
Aaron suggested that she suck his dick if she lost. “Til I come.”
“Fine,” she said.
And she lost.
Aaron stood up, unzipped, and dropped his pants.
Jane cast a spell, and detached Aaron’s penis. And then she sucked it.
Aaron didn’t feel a thing, but after the initial outrage, he smiled.
“It’s not spurting, is it?”
Jane stopped sucking, put Aaron’s penis back on, and got down on her knees.
Wanda filled out the order form incorrectly, and instead of getting the Bread Of The Month Club, she ended up in the Breast Of The Month Club.
At first, she was shocked by the boob in a brown cardboard box that she got in the mail, but she tried it on and found it supple and firm, much more so than her two.
She filled out another order form, and the next month, she got two boxes in the mail.
A pair and a spare.
She used the pre-paid postage to send back her own tits, and went bra shopping.
Heather was busy, so she scheduled all her appointments at the same time.
One assistant took her hands out for a manicure, while another took her feet for a pedicure.
Her arms, legs, and thighs went out for electrolysis, along with her face.
Her torso got a mammogram, her pelvis a trip to the gynecologist for a pelvic.
The ophthalmologist checked her eyes, the dentist cleaned her teeth, and her hair went to the salon for a style.
Five minutes to six, they reassembled her at the restaurant for a dinner date.
But her clothes were back at the office.
Soulstones are easy to use.
After a couple swallows a pair of soulstones and goes to sleep, they will wake up in each other’s bodies.
When you’re ready to switch back, wait for the stones to come out, wash them off, and swallow them again.
I don’t know how they work. I just know they work.
What’s it like?
It’s disorienting, seeing yourself standing in front of you.
“A deal’s a deal,” says Natalie, pushing her cock into my mouth.
Her mouth. My mouth.
Pronouns can be so confusing with soulstones.
But you adapt quickly.
“That’s nice,” says Natalie, smiling.
For her two hundredth birthday, Syrine threw herself a mermaid party.
The surgical alteration tanks grafted on the fish tails and gills with precision, nanobots coursing through their bloodstreams.
For hours, she and her friends swam in the orbital colony’s water basin, circling and playing.
They returned to her home and had themselves changed back in time for the dinner celebration.
Mermaids. Centaurs. Winged angels.
Although the angel configurations couldn’t actually fly, even with low gravity zone assistance.
Swimming was flying through water, wasn’t it?
She flexed a prawn’s tail in her fingers, twisted it, and took a bite.
She hates driving in heels.
“Try my shoes,” I say.
So, we swapped feet.
“Much better,” she says.
She hates how the seatbelt feels on her lap in that skirt.
“You’re not on your period, are you?” I ask.
She says no.
So, we swap a bit more.
And even more when she complains about the shoulder strap across her tits.
We get to the restaurant, but never make it inside.
“Take off my panties,” she says, undoing my belt.
We fuck, and it really hurts.
Ten minutes without her pussy, and she forgets to let it get wet first.
Once, I knew a guy with a small penis.
So, he prays and prays for a bigger penis, but God doesn’t answer, God doesn’t listen.
But me, I do.
“Gimme your soul, and I’ll give you a huge cock,” I said.
No, he didn’t fall for the giant chicken trick. Few guys do anymore. Instead, he worded his request carefully, eleven inches long.
I wrote up the contract, he signed it, and I fixed him up.
Eleven inches long.
And four inches thick.
It takes so much blood, the guy blacks out every time he gets a hard-on.
If you asked her out, Nancy would say “Sure. Let me go put on my face.”
And then she peels off the face she had on, wipes away the glue, and sticks on a fresh face.
She always makes sure she has at least two faces left in the pack.
You never want to run out of faces, and sometimes the last face in the pack ends up squished, like the last slice of a loaf of bread.
Satisfied, she smiles, and tosses the old face into a cage.
The rats chew the face to bits as it screams silently.
Sometimes, Trixie likes to trade bodies with me.
So, I got out the soulstones, handed her one, and swallowed the other.
And then we went to sleep.
The next morning, everything was grey, and I felt strange and awkward.
I tried to feel myself, but I didn’t have Trixie’s hands or body to feel with.
I was in the dog.
She’d covered her soulstone with peanut butter and fed it to the dog!
I’m in the goddamned dog now!
I barked a few times, and that’s when the smell hit me.
A bowl. Filled with anti-freeze.
I… just… can’t… resist!