Santa Cookies

Some people leave out milk and cookies for Santa.
I helped Mom make chocolate chip cookies this year.
But I slipped in Ex Lax squares instead of chocolate chips.
Because, last year, when I was seven, I wanted a bicycle.
All I got were sweaters, socks, and underwear.
Despite sending him letters and being good, he kept bringing me the same practical crap every year.
So, I snapped.
Christmas Day, we all go down to the living room, and we unwrap presents.
Except for Dad. He’s still in the bathroom.
I guess he’ll need the new underwear Santa brought him.

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