There used to be a long winding trail to Heaven.
After a few centuries, a set of stairs were built.
Then, escalators with landings.
And finally, an elevator.
The problem with an elevator is that people push and shove to get on it.
Despite the fact that this was Heaven’s elevator.
You’re going to spend an eternity in Heaven.
What’s a few more minutes waiting?
You could always taken an escalator.
Or the stairs.
Or even the long winding trail.
So, God tore out the elevator, escalators, stairs, and the path.
And put in a greased pole.
God’s a dick.