{"id":987,"date":"2007-01-06T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-06T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/podcasting.isfullofcrap.com\/2007\/01\/06\/weekly_challenge_38_a_kiss_1\/"},"modified":"2012-12-23T12:24:22","modified_gmt":"2012-12-23T18:24:22","slug":"weekly_challenge_38_a_kiss_1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/?p=987","title":{"rendered":"Weekly Challenge #38 &#8211; A Kiss"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_8514\"><audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-987-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/mp3.oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/weeklychallenge038.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/mp3.oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/weeklychallenge038.mp3\">https:\/\/mp3.oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/weeklychallenge038.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><p>Welcome to the thirty-eighth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge <i>you<\/i> to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.<br \/>\nThe topic this week was supposed to be selected by Tom from <a href=\"http:\/\/footnote.blogspot.com\">Footnote<\/a>, and it&#8217;s <b>a kiss<\/b>.<br \/>\nEleven stories were submitted this week. Double digits!<br \/>\nA rookie this week&#8230; Simon H joins the fun!<br \/>\nAnd, once again, some disturbing madness from Planet Z.<br \/>\nGo ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):<br \/>\n<!-- \/\/ Begin Pollhost.com Poll Code \/\/ --><\/p>\n<form method=\"post\" action=\"http:\/\/poll.pollhost.com\/vote.cgi\">\n<table border=\"0\" width=\"250\" bgcolor=\"#EEEEEE\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"2\">\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"2\"><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\"><b>Who had the best story in the 38th Weekly Challenge?<\/b><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Laieanna from <a href=\"http:\/\/hodgepodgepoint.libsyn.com\">Hodgepodge Point<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Simon from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.Freelancecynic.co.uk\/\">Freelance Cynic<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Caleb from <a href=\"http:\/\/blacktiemartiniclub.com\/\">Black Tie Martini Club<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Tom from <a href=\"http:\/\/footnote.libsyn.com\/\">Footnote<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Caroline from Quadra Island<\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Andrew from <a href=\"http:\/\/andrewiandodge.com\/\">Dodgeblogium<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Russell from <a href=\"http:\/\/rlburt.blogspot.com\/\">Come Let Me Whisper<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Rahel from <a href=\"http:\/\/elmsintheyard.blogspot.com\">Elms In The Yard<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Elisson from <a href=\"http:\/\/elisson1.blogspot.com\/\">blog d&#8217;Elisson<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">K-Nine from <a href=\"http:\/\/deaddogwalkin.blogspot.com\/\">Dead Dog Walkin&#8217;<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">Brother Osric from <a href=\"http:\/\/brotherosric.marscreativeprojects.com\/\">The Scriptorium<\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"5\"><\/td>\n<td><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\" color=\"#000000\">The Mad Bard from Planet Z<\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"2\">&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td bgcolor=\"#FFFFFF\" colspan=\"2\" align=\"right\"><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"-2\" color=\"#000000\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.pollhost.com\/\" \/><font color=\"#000099\">Free polls from Pollhost.com<\/font><\/a><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/form>\n<p><!-- \/\/ End Pollhost.com Poll Code \/\/ --><\/p>\n<p><b>WE GOTS PRIZES:<\/b><br \/>\nI will be sending the winner a prize&#8230; I still haven&#8217;t decided what it will be, but I will be sending them one.<br \/>\nIt is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p>The full text of each story:<br \/>\n<b>LAIEANNA<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The princess passionately kissed the seaweed, only to come away with a rash.  She bent for a pucker upon the rock, tripping and bashing three teeth.  The thistle left it&#8217;s love with scratches on her face and a snail&#8217;s secretions caused bumps to surface around her lips.  The dog was less receptive, taking a chunk from her chin.  Then the skunk freaked at her affection, spraying her with a rather potent stench.<br \/>\n&#8220;I told you not everything turns into a charming prince,&#8221; the king scolded before handing her over to her new husband Prince Barftog of the Northern troll clan. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>SIMON H<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;&#8216;A kiss?&#8217; the Roman said. &#8216;Can&#8217;t you just tap him on the shoulder?&#8217;<br \/>\n&#8216;No&#8217; he replied, &#8216;No I can&#8217;t.&#8217;<br \/>\n&#8216;But we know him. We can get him ourselves, keep you out of it! &#8216;<br \/>\n&#8216;No, I want to do it.&#8217; How could they understand the years of frustration? The look of those parable telling lips?<br \/>\n&#8216;But this is history! You want to be famous for kissing a man?&#8217;<br \/>\n&#8216;A kiss will just look better alright?&#8217; He straightened his robe and breathed deeply. &#8216;How do I look?&#8217; he said.<br \/>\nAnd with the mob close behind him, he walked into the Garden.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>CALEB<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Moonlight and Love songs never out of date? Ha. Don&#8217;t make me laugh.<br \/>\nEver since the Lycanthrope Plague of 2037 when we had to blow up the moon, those old love songs just serve as a painful reminder of science gone wrong.<br \/>\nHearts full of passion, jealousy and hate? More like nano-bots full of cholesterol dissolving enzymes and oxygen re-circulators to keep us from strangling on this thick grey polluted air.<br \/>\nAnd yet, in all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, when I&#8217;m loaded I find myself telling my subcutaneous audio matrix, &#8220;Play it, S.A.M.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>TOM<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>He gave him a peck on the check then whispered the following into the rabbi&#8217;s ear. &#8220;There&#8217;s a bounty on your head for your rather indecorous act in the temple&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;How much?&#8221; inquired Jesus<br \/>\n&#8220;30 pieces.&#8221; Said Judas<br \/>\n&#8220;30 pieces!&#8221; yelled Peter<br \/>\n&#8220;We got 60 for half the damage in Damascus.&#8221;<br \/>\nSoon all the apostles were bitching and moaning about the take.<br \/>\nJesus raised his hand they all fell silent.<br \/>\n&#8220;Everyone knows their positions in Gethsemane?&#8221;<br \/>\nThe shills nodded.<br \/>\n&#8220;And Judas try to make the kiss more convincing this time.<br \/>\nCaiaphas may be a mark, but he&#8217;s a shroud mark.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>CAROLINE<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>During the summer of 1964 while camping at a place called &#8216;Eels Foot Inn&#8217; his family arrived, our eyes locked. Jack was my age.<br \/>\nStrangely, both families pushed us together throwing out the water, telling us to get more. Minding not in the least and giggling childishly off we went. At 15 and very slow courting, the days were flying by. Myself both shy and waiting anxiously. One day with tension rising while sitting on a bench overlooking the river he turned to me &#8220;may I kiss you?&#8221; The sweetest most innocent kiss of my life never to be forgotten.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>ANDREW<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Sealed with a kiss a phrase that&#8217;ll haunt me until my demise.<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s just a kiss,&#8221;  I thought to myself. &#8220;What harm could that do.&#8221;<br \/>\nLittle did I know I had a sealed a pact with <i>She Who Must not be Named<\/i> an entity as ancient as she is evil from a distance and dimension unfathomable to most men.<br \/>\nI kissed her for that age ole&#8217; reason. She must&#8217;ve taught the sirens their tricks for she is the first of all evil seducers.<br \/>\n&#8220;&#8216;Paradise&#8217; indeed&#8230; Meatloaf mate`&#8221; I mused.<br \/>\nA kiss for the abyss was what it was. It came. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>RUSSELL<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I don&#8217;t date goth girls anymore, and here&#8217;s why.<br \/>\nWe sat on the couch. She was dressed entirely in black, of course, with her face whited-out, wearing enough eyeliner to sink a battleship.<br \/>\nIt didn&#8217;t matter, I wanted her&#8211;bad, and had been getting nowhere for weeks, now.<br \/>\nI decided to go old-school this time. &#8220;Give me, a kiss to build a dream on,&#8221; I sang.<br \/>\nIt worked.<br \/>\nShe leaned in close, put her mouth to mine, and ripped half of my lower lip off with her teeth.<br \/>\nI can&#8217;t fault her logic. A nightmare is a dream, after all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>RAHEL<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Romeo likes my elbow for some reason. Well, not exactly the elbow&#8211;the area just above it. He likes to kiss it for minutes at a time.<br \/>\nI really don&#8217;t understand why, but I love Romeo, so I let him do it as much as he wants. Only at appropriate times, of course.<br \/>\nSometimes the skin above my elbow is red and raw, as though it had been wiped repeatedly with damp sandpaper.<br \/>\nWell, in a way it has.<br \/>\nYes, I keep on putting up with it. What else can I do? Oh, the things we do for our cats.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>ELISSON<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Mortimer knew he was dying.<br \/>\nHe had traveled to the deepest, darkest jungles of Africa to spread the Lord&#8217;s Good News. He had started a school and, later, opened a hospital that offered rudimentary health care to the impoverished natives of his village.<br \/>\nRudimentary, indeed. They could do nothing there to save him.<br \/>\nHe had hit the trifecta, coming down with amoebic dysentery, a monster tapeworm, and, finally, a raging case of cholera that had sapped his last reserves.<br \/>\nTo die in your sleep is God&#8217;s kiss, Mortimer thought, ruefully.<br \/>\nBut to shit yourself to death is <em>God&#8217;s Hershey&#8217;s kiss<\/em>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>K-NINE<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>007 struggled against his restraints until he saw the door handle turn.  Into the room slipped Vod Kanockers, a Bulgarian double agent.<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m here to help end this&#8221; she whispered.<br \/>\nBond could feel her hot breath as she loosened the ropes holding him to the chair.<br \/>\nShe untied him and said, &#8220;I know where the remote device is, I&#8217;ll take you there, but first&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nTheir lips met passionately.<br \/>\nBond pulled away, &#8220;Let&#8217;s go.&#8221;<br \/>\nSuddenly the room blurred.  &#8220;What&#8230;  Why?&#8221; he implored.<br \/>\n&#8220;That&#8217;s for giving my sister the clap, you bastard&#8221;<br \/>\n10 seconds later part of London disappeared in a flash.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>BROTHER OSRIC<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>We&#8217;re getting out of the car and heading toward her side porch. Side porch, that&#8217;s a good sign, right? Her parents won&#8217;t be looking out that way.<br \/>\nGood restaurant&#8211;sure cost enough&#8211;and great movie. It&#8217;s gotta be worth more than a handshake, right? Although the feel of her hands, cool, not sweaty&#8230; wish I could say the same&#8230;<br \/>\nCrossing the grass&#8230; Aw, man, I didn&#8217;t know they had a dog&#8230;<br \/>\nUp the steps&#8230;don&#8217;t scrape the shoe, that&#8217;s not cool, pretend nothing happened&#8230;<br \/>\nThe porch light went on! Crap. That tears it&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;Motion sensor,&#8221; she says, an&#8211; mmmmmmmph!<br \/>\nHeaven.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>PLANET Z<\/b><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Prince Charming got word of fresh meat in the forest and hopped on his horse.<br \/>\nHe arrived in the clearing, where Snow White&#8217;s crystal coffin rested.<br \/>\nWhat a nice piece of ass, he thought. He liked brunettes.<br \/>\nToo bad about the ugly dress, though.<br \/>\nNot that she&#8217;ll be wearing it long.<br \/>\nCharming mumbled the enchantments and felt his lips tingle.<br \/>\nOne kiss, and she&#8217;d be back to life. Good as new.<br \/>\nAnd ready to fuck.<br \/>\nSadly, the spell was temporary. And only worked once on any particular corpse.<br \/>\nToo bad. This one would be worth screwing five or six times.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<hr>\n<p>Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you&#8217;ve got to write (and say) next week.<br \/>\nThe theme for next week&#8217;s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.<br \/>\n<i>(In case you&#8217;re interested, I&#8217;ve settled on &#8220;Clair de Lune&#8221; as the opening music and &#8220;Moonshine&#8221; by Michael Oldfield from the Tubular Bells II album.)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>8745516<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-challenge"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=987"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21341,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987\/revisions\/21341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oneadayuntilthedayidie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}