JUST GOOGLE IT
CLOCKTREE PARK READING ROOM
When I’m not reading stories there, an automated book chats random stories.
This is my “home” venue.
This is the avatar’s background story:
R. Crap Mariner is a sentient clockwork mechanism, manufactured by Professor Milton Mariner’s Mechanical Manservants and Farming Equipment, Inc. for The Great Exposition of 1851 in London. As the professor turned the mechanism’s key to wind it up, his assistant’s hand was caught in its gears and he shouted something that the machine mistook for a name.
Originally designed as a house servant, the machine was entrusted with the professor’s children as a nanny and storyteller. But after a mysterious fire at the factory and adjoining Mariner Estate, which killed Professor Mariner’s family and staff, the machine went missing for decades.
Various inventors and scientists have improved upon its original design, from Nikolai Tesla to Robert Oppenheimer, expanding its capabilities and intelligence through all manner of experimental components and modules, but have only twisted and damaged its mechanical psyche further.
The truth is that my original domain was isfullofcrap.com, and it hosted “This Blog Is Full Of Crap.” Because, let’s face it, most websites and people are completely full of crap. But, as my tagline said: “I’m the only one honest enough to admit it.”
My name is a litmus test for juvenile bullshit. If you can’t deal with the name, I don’t want to deal with you, and I’ll likely Mute, Block, and Derender you so you can make your dumb little jokes in your own universe. My universe is ugly enough without you, thank you.
GROUP AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
You can join my group “100 Word Stories” to get the announcements for the when and where.
I rarely read my stories at other venues, but if I do, I’ll post it to the group.
If you need simple access to the venue, just drag the landmark that I sent out with the announcement into your Favorites Bar.
I do not list my readings in the Second Life event listings. I would rather deal with experienced and mature Second Life users. I do not like to waste time at my events teaching newbies how to use Voice or other viewer functions.
Clocktree Park and 100 Word Stories are not listed in the Destination Guide because of some bad experiences.
However, you are welcome to visit and enjoy the stories in the Reading Room, as long as you’re respectful and polite.
My Clocktree has no tipjar, and I refuse any and all tips. I have a good job, and I don’t need to exploit my art to live beyond my means.
If you insist on wasting your money as some kind of symbol of approval, contribute to another podcast that you like.
You will run out of money long before you come back to mine.
STORYTELLER FOR HIRE?
No, not really.
My stories aren’t for the masses. I call myself “an acquired distaste” and challenge myself to write with the purpose of killing at least one person’s sacred cow by the end of each story. Also, I really don’t like cattle-call story festivals and The Neverending Purple Cancer Mallapalooza (Relay For Life) and Second Life Birthday because:
- I am crazy as fuck.
- I am guaranteed to say something that will piss off your guests, VIPs, hosts, sponsors, or organizers.
- If you give me rules or boundaries, I will shit on them and make you lick it up.
- I want to heckle the shit out of storytellers that suck, I don’t like a lot of other storytellers.
- The feeling is mutual.
But, if you insist on inviting me, the answer is still probably no.
Still, people ask me. And, rarely, I come out of my tree and do it for the fuck of it.
I’ve been told that I can be intimidating. Good.
If you want something, ask me.
If you do not have the courage to ask me, then don’t ask me. And don’t ask others to ask me on your behalf, either. Nobody is my assistant, agent, secretary, bitch, or go-between.
THE HOME BUTTON
If you don’t like what I’m saying in between the stories, leave. You can listen to the stories over the podcast.
If you don’t like the other people in the room, ignore them. If you can’t ignore them, leave.
If you don’t like the stories, leave.
I’ve got more stories to write.