The 100 Word Stories Podcast

It was a sad day at action Park. Johnny, the lifeguard had drowned. The Park owner insisted on giving him a Viking funeral. They found a bumper boat in the maintenance shed with a busted engine they could use. They threw his body in it and set it on the wave pool. They tossed in some wood and newspaper and gasoline, and when it was time through in a lit match. It took them three tries before the fire caught. All the other guests and staff raised their beers to toast Johnny. During the ceremony, two more stupid kids drowned.

I live in a small town just outside of another small town and everything here is walking distance. The grocery store, the pharmacy, my doctor, my dentist, everything. I do a lot of walking through the trees and the paths. It’s healthy, unless walking in the bright sunlight without sunscreen, through mosquito season without repellent, or I pick up a cheeseburger at the burger joint which I have to walk even more to burn off. But in my defense, I don’t get fries or a shake. So in the end, it all balances out until somebody’s car will hit me

I watched a video of how they harvest almonds. They’ve got this pair of tractors, one with a gripper that shakes the tree and another that puts kind of a tarp basket under it to catch all the almonds that shake off. They do this with other trees for harvesting. I’d figure it would work with my cousin Ortho, who has really horrible dandruff. We snuck into McGregor‘s farm and got the shaker tractor going. Ortho wound up with two broken legs and a concussion. And the dumbass forgot to take off his hat, so we’ll go out there again.

Edward noticed a discrepancy. A lot more people were dying in nursing homes than when a robot was sent out to help someone with in a home care. The statistics showed an elevated number of assisted suicide requests in the nursing homes. And a few had elevated medication error rates. Because of the turnover, nursing homes could turn through residence were frequently and collect more down payments. Several years later, after all the settlements, Edward retired to a resort on a Caribbean island. All human staff. Not a single robot. his nurse poisoned him, stole his money, and completely vanished.

Sometimes, father Burke would lose it during confessions and yell I wish I had held you under the water in the baptismal font until the bubble stopped. I mean, that’s perfectly understandable for serious things like murder and rape, but littering is not as bad. Unless of course the person threw a banana peel on the sidewalk and father Burke slipped on it and broke his leg. Jenny burst from the confessional, crying and running, father Burke tried to chase after her, but with his cast and crutches he wasn’t fast enough. He smack her during choir practice, he figured.

Henderson Hills is an exclusive gated community. Only the finest people live there. Only the finest students in their school. Only the finest restaurants delivering the finest food to the finest servants who packed the finest picnic lunches for them. Only the finest ants at their picnics. The finest etymologist, EO Wilson, assured the finest staff that these were the finest ants of all. he had measurements, proof! He even wrote a book about it. It was the finest book, the number one best seller at the New York Times. Which, these days, I’d hardly describe as the finest newspaper.

Frank in room seven had been an avid fisherman, but his kids come to visit maybe once every few months and they don’t take him out like they used to. So he dresses up in his fishing gear and puts a chair by his bathtub and sits there for hours. His roommate Joe decided to play a prank on him and while Frank was napping by the tub, he put a fish on the hook. You caught one, Frank! Frank reeled it in and yelled at the confused cafeteria staff to scale and cook it for him. It was delicious.

Some say that the Necronomicon is a powerful book, while others say it’s just the spells contained within it are what’s powerful. Lucius decided to run an experiment. He transcribed the spells in the Necronomicon to simple looseleaf notebook paper. They were just as powerful and demonic in the trapper keeper. He took photos of the spells and printed them out. They were also just as powerful. Finally, he made an e-book out of the spells and sold them for one cent on the Kindle marketplace. A massive supernatural tsunami tore the Earth apart. Lucius never collected his sales.

Due to a programming error, the terraforming probe that landed on Meridian Seven ingested all of the wrong compounds and tried to stitch together a suitable habitat for the incoming colony ships. By the time the colonist arrived and were revived from hibernation,, Meridian seven was a bubbling, putrid mass of tentacles and fangs floating in boiling oceans of acid. The colonist went back into hibernation after sending a message. Wake us up when you fix this crap. The colonization ministry sent another ship out and 100 years later it vaporized the sleeping colony ship and the Meridian seven disaster.