It’s kinda hard to compete in soap box racing when you live in a flat village. No hills, not even a high road or overpass. The kids of Doris, Indiana went to the next town over to try out their vehicles on Carson Street. It didn’t have much of an incline, and it was not quite long enough for regulation. And it ended in Parson McPherson‘s driveway. He put up a bunch of hay bales in front of his garage for the kids who didn’t have brakes on their cars. Eventually, Doris rigged up a track using high school bleachers..
The best in town
Darwin runs the outpost in the pipeline sector. He jokingly calls the tavern, the best beer in town. He brews his own out back, and it’s pretty bad. And he makes the absolute worst pizza to go with it. I mean, the dough and the sauce and cheese it makes you nostalgic for that horrible sheet pizza they made in the cafeteria at school. If you don’t like it, he says, he points out the door. The next town is more than a week hike through the snow. We all laugh. This is why I have whiskey flown in monthly.
The town lottery
Back in my day, when we held the town lottery, we didn’t use foam rubber rocks to throw at the sacrifice for the harvest symbolically. We used real rocks. Actual people got sacrificed and killed. None of this dodgeball crap where the kids are laughing and the sacrifice gets up and the mayor hands them a basket of cookies or a new toaster. There was real blood. There was real fear. And the crops, they came in much better and bigger and tastier. And the way you kids act, I wouldn’t mind hucking a rock at your damn fool heads.
A little lucky
Every day, Dan showed up at the shelter with his daughter Sarah. She’d pick out a black cat, name it Lucky, and take it home. She was so happy, petting and feeding Lucky. While she slept, Dan drove Lucky to the shelter, where Dan would show up with Sarah to pick out Lucky again. A new volunteer asked about this, the shelter coordinator said look at the girl’s head, it wasn’t quite right. Her hair covered… something. A bump? A divot? There was a crack in Dan’s windshield, a dent in the bumper. It’s all she knows, so play along.
Weekly Challenge #1068 – Inside Out
- Richard
- Lizzie
- Lisa
- Norval Joe
- Serendipidy
- Planet Z
RICHARD
Trapped
I was well and truly trapped. She stood between me and the door, with my only escape route into the bedroom, and there was no way I was going in there.
A noise from the front door distracted me, the sound of a key in the lock.
Oh, that’ll be my husband’ she said brightly.
Your husband!’ I exclaimed.
The door opened, and for a brief moment I caught a glimpse, from the inside out to freedom.
A large, imposing figure stepped into the doorway. Her husband.
I wished the ground would open and swallow me.
But, no such luck.
LIZZIE
She was afraid. The wind whispered the arrival of a storm. He sat next to her, looking pleased with himself. The more she tried to disappear in a corner, the happier he looked, and the worse the storm became. She started crying, and so did the rain. It’ll be good for your flowers, he said. The flowers he would place on her grave, she thought. She was very afraid… The next morning, the flowers were all dead. He couldn’t understand it. When she fled, she took with her one pot with a sunflower. She wasn’t afraid anymore. The sunflower bloomed.
LISA
The Interview
I’d felt confident as I spoke. Had all the right answers, backed up with examples from previous employment. I knew I’d aced the test: I’d done that many online trials I was getting a hundred percent every time.
SO, I left the offices with a spring in my step. And it was a job I wanted, would use all my skills and the pay was decent.
I went home via the shopping centre, saw my reflection in it’s huge windows: smart from the front but something was flapping on my back, a label.
I’d got my jumper on inside out.
NORVAL JOE
Sabrina continued, “Now, I can’t stop my thoughts. I want to turn my head inside out and dump the horrific images on the floor and sweep them out the front door.”
Dumbfounded, Billbert stood, gawping at Sabrina.
Mrs. Weinerheimer sat next to Sabrina and put an arm around her shoulder. “If you tell us, it might help.”
With large gaps, she said, “I see Billbert and her.” “They’re, you know, hugging, and stuff.” “Then she has a knife and she’s stabbing.” “Stabbing Billbert.” “And she stands up, blood covering her naked body.”
Billbert gasped. “Who’s blood? Does she kill me?”
SERENDIPIDY
I’ve always had a fascination for what makes things go.
As a child, I was always getting into trouble for taking things apart, dismantling them to see their inner workings.
Whatever I could lay my hands on inevitably met the same fate – childhood toys, an alarm clock, my first transistor radio, anything mechanical or electrical really; I had an insatiable curiosity which survived into adulthood.
It’s not just inanimate objects though that fascinate me.
And, if anything, biology is even more interesting when viewed from the inside out.
Unfortunately, bodies don’t go back together quite as easily as mechanical things!
PLANET Z
The programming language Pascal is named after Blaise Pascal the mathematician, and python is named after Monty Python, the comedy troupe, but did you know that Fort Tran was named after Francis Fortran, a star basketball player in the early 1940s. He didn’t shoot much and he wasn’t good at blocking or steals, but man, the dude could pass. They called him Francis of Assisti. after his playing days, he finished his physics degree, and got into computing. A classmate of his decided to name the programming language after him to keep Francis from reporting on him cheating on exams.
Homecoming fool
Woodbury high school has a tradition where the most hated kid in school is loaded into a cannon, which is rolled out to the middle of the field during homecoming, and the Cannon is fired. Voting takes place that week and the candidates are kidnaped from class Friday morning homeroom. The winner, or you can call them a loser, is revealed at the game, sometimes the kids try to run and hide, but the county sheriff keeps an eye on them all week. Most human cannonball cannons use hydraulics or slingshots. Woodbury uses real explosives. So watch your ass kid.
Dylan Went Electric
The headlines shouted Dylan goes electric. The next day, they shouted Orbison goes nuclear. After that, Pat Boone went steam powered. Bob Denver, he went solar powered, you know, because he was all about the environment. Gene Simmons went wind powered for a while, but he couldn’t make any music on calm days. Musicians around the world embraced alternative energies. Geothermal, wave, action, capture, hydraulic piston, powered by tidal forces, hydroelectric, you name it. Some artist tried to go liquid natural gas, and a few defiantly clung to human power, but the liberal media shunned their efforts and championed Dylan.
Rip
Rip Binkel was the best scorer on the basketball team, but that really didn’t mean much considering he made maybe six or seven points a night and everyone else was tripping and stumbling on the hardwood. Plus, there were a hell of a lot of kids shooting up for the team spreading out the points before they trip and fall from all the other kids stumbling around. The coach would drag a kid off the court, smack another one on the back, and say get in there, then light another cigarette. A tornado hit the gym, they never rebuilt it.
Dumb Home
Dave thought it would be funny to name his kids, Alexa, Siri, and OK Google. He could tell his smart home to do something and the kids would think he was talking to them and he’d say no I’m talking to the house. Until the kids were old enough to tell the family therapist about their anxiety and neurosis. One night Dave woke up, tied to the bed, his kids standing over him with knives and huge creepy grins. Let me go, demanded Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. The kids said in unison, stabbing their father to death.
Droids
It’s a lot harder to build and program a sex droid than build a combat droid. I mean, combat droids are built to kill while sex droids aren’t very popular if they end up hurting or killing someone. Of course, dead men can’t ask for refunds. I’m sure you’ll say that combat droids need to tell the difference between civilians and combatants. But places we send them, does it really matter? Plus, we tend to use them for enforcing curfew and anybody out after hours is considered a legitimate target. I guess you could say the same about sex droids.