Category: Weekly Challenge

• Richard
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Roger

RICHARD

Noir
An empty cup sits on the table in front of me, drained of coffee.
Like my soul, its contents had been cold, dark, and bitter. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
I rose from the cheap plastic chair, grabbing the cup to discard carelessly in the trash can. Again, the act mirrors my state of mind.
Outside, the cold is biting, the wind harsh, and the steady rain soaks through my coat. Above, a streetlight flickers.
I fumble for a cigarette, and inhale deeply; somewhere in the distance, a saxophone plays.
I walk slowly away, into the darkness.

SERENDIPIDY

No speeches, no reception, no wedding breakfast, no party. No church either, just a farmhouse kitchen.
And no, there weren’t any guests, just two witnesses, as required by law, and the local minister who’d been paid handsomely for his time.
The father of the bride was in attendance, but no tux for him, neither was his daughter attired in silk and lace.
What there were in abundance were shotguns.
Both witnesses and the bride’s father held them ready, locked and loaded. Just in case.
The minister turned my way, asking the question.
“I do”, I answered.
I could hardly refuse!

TOM

Glass half empty

Timmy was a motivational speaker. The corporate hire to blunt the shock of firing, oh so happily. Cuss management is chicken shit. Timmy had a number of standard speeches. His favorite was: The empty cup speech. He poured water in to ceramic. “At this moment in your life make a choice on how the see the cup.” Said Timmy placing the cup in front of Susan from accounting. “I see a glass half broken,” said the 60-year-old woman. Timmy in cloud of confusion gave the room, a corporate smile, that was went Sue picked up, broke it on his head

NORVAL JOE

When Patrick sat, Billbert’s mother said, “Listen. Now is not the time for speeches. CPS is coming in three hours, and we still have the kitchen to clean up, and the front yard.”

Patrick shifted as if getting up to leave.

“No, Patrick,” she said. “I need you here to answer their questions, to make it clear that Sabrina was treated terribly in her Foster Care placement.”

Patrick folded his arms. “That’s going to get me in trouble, too.”

She nodded. “That may be, and you certainly deserve what you get. But I can help things go smoothly for you.”

PLANET Z

I was watching a documentary and found it strange that the presenter was referring to an American aircraft carrier with the pronoun She, yet all of those aircraft carriers are named after men.. It’s long-standing naval tradition to refer to boats with female pronouns. However, the Department of war directives say that chips should be referred to with the neutral pronoun it. this is not to dismiss or integrate the gender claims of the historical figures. These ships are named after. I mean, do we really know what happened behind closed doors with Abraham Lincoln and his wife’s clothes?

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO
Speeches
Discard
Mine
An empty cup
Kitchen

RICHARD

The Word
In the beginning, was the word.
And that word was ‘in’.
It’s right there, at the opening to this piece.
A simple, unassuming word. Just two letters; nothing special about it.
Other than the fact it conveys that sense of place, of presence, of the here and now… even way back when.
It’s not ‘at’ the beginning, ‘on’ the beginning, or even ‘around’ the beginning.
You’re in the moment, partaking of it, at one with it. An intrinsic part of that very point where nothing becomes something, and the intangible becomes reality.
Not bad for a simple two-letter word.

SERENDIPIDY

The detective was one of those ‘no nonsense’ types. Methodical, organised and rather intolerant.
“Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Where were you at the time of the murder?”
He knew, as well as I, exactly where I was, but as far as I was concerned it wasn’t my job to tell him, it was up to him to work it out and build a cast iron case.
My job was simply to come up with an alibi, and in doing so, I would ruin all his hard work.
Still, that’s what he was paid for.
More fool him.

LIZZIE

Many years later, he went back up the hill. The tire swings were still there. He swayed his legs back and forth as they had done. Why did it have to happen? Why? The cold night embraced him, cuddling him in its arms. He started to cry. Why can’t I go back and undo everything? In the distance, he heard a train. Their train. The train that would take them away one day. The train that had killed her… At sunrise, he dried his tears and finally summoned the courage to take the train. For you. For us, he shouted.

TOM

Sugar Babies

In the beginning there was sugar. Lots of sugar. River, Mountains, a great desert of sugar. The people put sugar in all the foods they ate. God sat back figure if everyone was happy, he would just go an holiday. While god come up with real cool stuff, like sugar. I would take the blackest heart of the monkey people to come up with Multi Global Corporations. It took sometime but, in the end, they controlled all the sugar on the planet. Life became sad. When god back for holiday he saw how unhappy everyone was so he invented chipotle.

NORVAL JOE

With the light of understanding beginning to shine in Patrick’s eyes, he glanced at the door.

Mandi, who’s perception was greater than what Sabrina gave her credit for, shouted, “Billbert. Stop him.”

He couldn’t disobey and lunged for Patrick as he dashed for the door. Though the boy was twice Billbert’s size, the strength of Mandi’s ring more than compensated and the two tumbled to the floor.

“Thanks Mandi. I’ll take it from here,” Mrs. Weinerheimer said, and turned to Patrick. “Have a seat, dear. We need to talk.”

Patrick got up, brushed himself off, and obediently sat down.

PLANET Z

Randy was a pretty strange guy. Long greasy hair and backwards, baseball cap. Tall man, making biscuits at the chicken shack. He’d start every batch with quoting the Bible in the beginning. But it go in strange directions with his narrative as he mixed in the buttermilk and needed the dough, rolled it out, cut out the biscuits and put them on the tray and slid them in the oven. He’d speak of dark shadows and strange tentacles from space and weird ceremonies to summon them to ravage the planet. But goddamn, his biscuits were the best I’ve ever tasted.

Sorry it was a day late.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Dirty

RICHARD

Written off
I’m in a writers’ group.
There must be nearly thirty of us in all, and everyone, with the exception of me, has aspirations.
Some are working on their first novel, and several of the group are already published authors; some are even making a living from writing full-time. We even have one who had a best-seller with a national bookstore chain.
Not me.
I started my novel over thirty years ago, and I still haven’t got beyond chapter three.
So, I’ll just stick to a hundred words, I can just about manage that every week.
Pathetic, isn’t it?

SERENDIPIDY

You’re a pathetic little worm who doesn’t even merit being recognised as a human being.
A loser and a basket case, who will never succeed in anything they do and will leave nothing as a legacy when their miserable life comes to an unwholesome and untimely end.
You’re hopeless: doomed to perpetual failure, and when you’re gone, nobody will care, or mourn your loss.
Why bother trying? You may as well give up right now and accept your fate. You will always be pathetic.
That was my school report at age fifteen.
No wonder I turned out like I did!

LIZZIE

Pathetic. The word reverberated in her mind. The beach house was nearly empty now. He moved on and got offended when she found out. He begged for “a second chance”. But she packed up her stuff and walked away. Deal with it. The problem was, he didn’t want his “new life” anymore. “It wasn’t fun”. Get a house, have kids, go to work, come back home. Suddenly, what he had with her was what he had with the other one. Boring. Shame the beach house was one of the casualties. She moved on. It’s nice to be free, she thought.

NORVAL JOE

“Why did you bring her here?” Sabrina asked, curling her lip. “Nobody wants Lindimindi around.”

Mandi’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Billbert frowned, thinking deeply. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t leave her at her mansion, by herself.”

“You’re pathetic.” Sabrina folded her arms and turned away.

No one expected Patrick to speak up. “No. Sabrina. You’re pathetic. I listened to you when you were in our basement. You were delirious from our sensory deprivation experiment. Did you cry for help? For your grandmother? No! You shouted at Billbert that he was too stupid and lazy to come and find you.”

PLANET Z

Ollie was the bane of Olive Garden. Yeah the Guinness book Record for most breadsticks eaten in an hour. I won’t give you the number because that’ll just encourage you. I mean, you could look it up, but that’ll start you on a dangerous road. Ollie ate so many breadsticks, his stomach exploded, and there was nothing they could do for him, and he died. Unlike Leslie, his wife who had the record for most bowls of salad, eaten in under an hour. She went light on the salad dressing, so it was healthier. Unlike her carbohydrate addicted husband was.

Sorry it was a week late.

• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Pathetic

LISA

Sometimes the End is the Beginning.
They made us wear masks, to make it seem like fun I guess, my partner was an owl; I was Bart Simpson. Sending kids out in pairs to do the dirty work. They told us what to get, nothing fresh. Stuff that would last.
The door was smashed in, the store already well looted, bottled water long gone. I put a tin of beans in my bag for the group and filled my pockets with things for me: matches, some sweets and a bag of tealights.
I was young but old enough to know I may be alone again soon.

LIZZIE

Fix fence, check how stable the tin of beans is, she typed. Stable tin of beans? Where had that come from? She continued typing her To-Do list. She shook her head. Then, she realized she was stuck. She couldn’t think of anything else to add. Tin of beans. Tin of beans. Check. Check, check if stable. She decided to check the cupboard. A tin of beans, check. Stable… Oh. It was cracked open. Something was growing inside. She took a closer look and a voice in her head said “Thank you”. The green spores were the last thing she remembered.

RICHARD

Campshite
An owl hoots in the darkness; the forest closes in, and I don’t mind telling you, I’m starting to question why I’d thought it was such a good idea to try out wild camping in the first place.
I was cold, my clothes were damp, the tent was cramped and the unsettling noises around me were giving me the shivers.
“Relax” I told myself, “if those kids on Youtube can do it, then so can you.”
Maybe some food would help!
I fished out a tin of beans from my pack, then realised I’d forgotten the can-opener.
Home time!

SERENDIPIDY

The patient was stable. No cause for concern, and the prognosis was good, very good. Right now, they’re peacefully sleeping as I busy myself around the room, topping up their water jug, smoothing the sheets and checking their notes.
All is well.
I take the syringe from my pocket and uncap it.
Leaning over the patient, I screw the syringe into their cannula, before pausing to enjoy the moment.
I depress the plunger, injecting air directly into their vein, before retrieving the syringe and gently brushing away a wisp hair from her face.
“You’ll be crossing over soon,” I whisper.

TOM

In the high country

There a rope bridge in the mountains that is the only stable crossing to WinterFell. Not a trip for the faint of heart, they call the winds that whip the bridge: The Hawk. My name Bucky Tou. My grandfather is leading me over the pass, teaching me the ropes. In the mid-bridge he steps to one side and moves behind me. He whispers in my ear. “Go slow. Then go slower.” I shake my head and slip one foot forward, make purchase, then slid he other. I am cold, all I want to do is get out of the wind.

NORVAL JOE

Without having to direct anyone where to start or what to do, they all went about the house, cleaning.

Sabrina expected that with how busy and determined each person was, they would be constantly running into each other. However, they were all stable and consistent, focused on their tasks, and rarely crossing up or interfering with one another.

At midnight, Mrs. Weinerheimer’s phone rang. It was Billbert, wondering where she was. Half an hour later, he knocked at the front door, then let himself in. Sabrina’s blood pressure shot up, and her ears began to ring as Linoliamanda followed Billbert.

PLANET Z

It’s June 21, and nobody can find summertime Sam. He’s the guy who sells pinwheels to kids at the beach. He says he donates all the money to charity, but he’s never said which charity. Something he steals the pinwheels to sell. But no one around here sells pinwheels besides summertime Sam. We asked the mailman if he delivers boxes of pinwheels and he says I don’t even know where summertime Sam lives. Nobody does. We all grew up with summertime Sam pinwheels but nobody knows anything about him. Maybe it’s a good thing that nobody has seen him yet

• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO
Twaddle
An owl
Stable
A tin of beans
Crossing

RICHARD

Price tag

It’s not often the Antiques Roadshow comes to town, so when we heard they’d be recording locally, we had to go along.
The question was, what we were going to take to be appraised.
Certainly not the ‘Dogs playing poker’ print – a cultural icon maybe, but hardly an antique.
There was little of interest in the china cabinet; just chipped and mismatched plates and cups.
Then granny turned up with her jewellery box and produced a huge, antique gemstone in a gold setting.
What did the experts say it was worth?
You’ll have to watch the programme to find out!

LIZZIE

The art installation Gemstone featured a naked mannequin with a television for a head, holding a megaphone. Its right arm was missing. Find meaning mode activated. Broadcasting television slogans while the body suffers the pain. Pleased with his interpretation, he approached the artist and shared his view. The artist looked at him, puzzled. He nodded, trying to prompt the artist to say something. The artist said “No, we got the mannequin on sale. They had lost the head and an arm, so they gave us an old tv and a megaphone.” Gemstone?! They should’ve named it Lacking a Gemstone, then.

LISA

Finders Keepers

Derek’s dream had led him to a secluded glade. He’d had a vision of a buried chest full of jewellery there: gold pendants and rings with precious gemstones.
The ground looked quite disturbed but it was a popular spot for youths to drink and besides his dreams were never wrong. Unperturbed, Derek started sweeping the ground with his metal detector.
On the way home, empty handed and despondent, he listened to the radio. An exciting local news story interrupted the broadcast: that evening a gang of teenagers had found treasure worth millions in the very spot he’d just been searching.

TOM

A bridge too far

It was called Project Gemstone. Personally, I thought it was a dumb code-name, but I didn’t get to make the call. It is pretty random, so others in the Alphabet black ops community don’t all get the cool ones. It equally pisses off everyone, like when D.S.T. got Robot Chicken. Gemstone dealt with the thorny issues of college students. Students of history known university students are the engine of revolution. Having eyeball on even the least likely camp was the goal of Gemstone. This was how I became a spook and ended up in Hanoi carrying paperwork for the Professor.

SERENDIPIDY

My engagement ring features a black gemstone. It’s not a diamond or sapphire, a spinel or tourmaline.
It’s not even precious in the conventional sense: it’s just plain old glass crystal.
In point of fact, if you look closely, it’s not even black. It’s actually deepest, darkest red.
The colour comes from an inclusion: real human blood, injected into the stone and sealed there forever.
The blood is that of my first husband.
A reminder that he will never bother me again.
Also, a very visible warning to my future husband, that there are some lines you just don’t cross.

NORVAL JOE

Patrick and Bobbi’s friend, Candy, joined the others in the messy front room.

Sabrina shot hateful glares at her former captor, as Joan explained about CPS coming in the morning.

Bobby looked around the squalid room in panic. “Mom’s on night shift. She won’t be home until seven.”

Joan put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll have the house shining like a diamond by morning.”

“A diamond?” Bobby asked, clearly skeptical.
Joan chuckled, “Well, a semi-precious gemstone, at least.”

Bobbi doubled down. “But how?”

“I have a special talent for organization.” Joan closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

PLANET Z

Harriet’s birthstone was a lump of coal. Nothing ever went right in her life. At the school dance, her classmates tied her up, put her in a circle made of salt, lit candles, and performed ritual rhythmic gyrations, an attempt to summon the dark Lord to take her away. It didn’t work. But the principal tried to blame her for the incident. Her foster parents couldn’t be bothered to show up to the inquiry. Eventually, she graduated and took the first bus out of town. No one knows where she wound up, and she never attends any of the reunions.

• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Gemstone

LISA

Thirsty
The cup was plastic
The cup was white
The cup was just out of reach.
She attempted to lean
She tried a shuffle
Her thirst grew but still the little cup just sat on her table
A nurse passed the end of her bed and she tried to talk, tried to nod, to groan but the nurse was reading some notes so didn’t notice and left the ward.
A cough tickled at her parched throat and lurched her body forward, knocking the cup over. Spilling the contents. The empty cup lay on the hospital floor, waiting to be thrown away.

LIZZIE

The café was still closed. “The clients are outside.” The stress. Let them wait, said the manager. Wait?! The clients will leave. The manager, furious, slammed the door open, letting a flood of people in. “Line up, ladies and gentlemen.” Some of the clients left. And like so, day after day, the café went bankrupt. “Now we’re unemployed.” The manager sneered. “I’ve got a job for you.” The staff looked surprised. “I have a… parallel business in the basement.” Six people were counting bills. Millions. “Where is this money coming from?!” The manager smiled. “No one knows.” And he winked.

RICHARD

Unpredictable

The old woman stared into the empty cup before looking up at me curiously.
“Young man,” she said – I liked that – “I have never seen a pattern like this before. It is hard to know exactly what the tea leaves are saying.
On the one hand, I see them spell success, wealth and power, on the other… well, shall we just say the future doesn’t look quite so bright?”
I was annoyed. I hadn’t crossed her palm with silver for that.
I grabbed the cup and looked inside.
I saw exactly what the leaves were saying.
My teabag had split!

SERENDIPIDY

An empty cup.
A dead body.
I know what you’re thinking. I poisoned him, right?
You’re wrong, that was the last thing on my mind when he woke me this morning with a cup of tea.
It was a thoughtful gesture.
But, he didn’t really think it through.
I don’t drink tea first thing in the morning; and if I did, believe me, it wouldn’t be black, with two sugars.
I drink coffee.
And without my morning coffee, I get very grumpy indeed.
He knew that, and still he gave me tea. Black, with two sugars.
So, I strangled him.

TOM

And left the cup unreconciled.

The empty tea cup sits to my left. Victorian blue edged in gold-leaf, hell 30% of the thing in gold-leaf. The handle done in a Greek revile manner that is known as Colonial. Echoing the silver work of Revere I found it at the back of Diann’s China cabinet. A tiny item in the mass of object that must not find new homes. It screams of drawing room pretension, so unlike the woman who last owned it. More Tupperware than China, more dairy queen than Hight tea. It is doubtful I will ever have cause to fill it with tea.

NORVAL JOE

“Why are we at Bobby’s house?” Sabrina asked Billbert’s mother as they navigated through the trash in the front yard.

Mrs. Weinerheimer kicked an empty paper cup with her toe. “Look at this mess. Children’s protective service is coming here in the morning. If we don’t get their house straightened up, Bobby and Patrick will be removed from the home before they’re able to verify our story.”

Surprised to find them on her porch this late, Bobby still invited them in.

“Do you need something?” she asked.

“Yes,” Joan said. “But first we need to get your house cleaned up.”

PLANET Z

Ollie, the owner of the company, would put a cup on the floor and practice his golf putting in his office. His son, Richard, had the whole back wall of his office taken out and he would practice like he was on the driving range. The factory floor was pretty large, but the ball tended to ricochet off the machinery and the employees. They’ve got hard hats, said, Richard, teeing up another ball. Ollie, ever the diplomat, offered hazard pay to anybody who took a golf ball to the head. It’s not like Richard isn’t shouting fore, right? He said.

A pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses girls were at the door, asking me if I wanted to go to church with them to learn about Jesus Christ. I told them that they’re at the wrong house. Jesus Christ lives next-door. They didn’t believe me, so I walked over next door with them and knocked, and Jesus opened the door and said hey. The two girls were absolutely stunned. I said hey dude. Can I get my lawnmower back? Jesus shrugged and told his voice assistant to open the garage. The girls just stood there, I went and got my lawnmower back.

• Lisa
• Lewie
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is An empty cup

LISA

The Case of the Missing Baggage

Have you seen online where someone buys unclaimed baggage and then livestreams the opening to show what they got for the money? I tried it!
The gamble of Rolexes and Gucci belts or dirty pants and leaked suntan cream. My case was well travelled with a Tokyo sticker on the side. Oddly light when unpacked because it had a false bottom! Heroin: street Value in the millions. I thought that was my fortune made; except I’d livestreamed it so had to give the heroin, case and contents to the customs team that called round shortly after the video went viral.

RICHARD

Tokyo Drift

Tokyo isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, believe me.
Sure they have pedestrian crossings, trains that run on time, cherry blossoms and ramen… lots of delicious ramen.
And let’s not forget the maid cafes! Those are a whole lot of fun.
But there’s a downside to it also.
The working hours are long and you’re obliged to do them, and you don’t get extra pay for extra time.
The houses are small and prices are high, and don’t mention the traffic.
Not that any of that really bothers me much.
Being a Yakuza has its perks, get my drift?

SERENDIPIDY

The name’s evocative, isn’t it?
Bullet Train.
Two simple words that speak volumes. Speed and efficiency, punctuality and the striving for excellence.
If I were in Tokyo; but I’m not.
I’m in a quiet backwoods location, alongside a railway line; the rest of the gang are a little further along, waiting to rendezvous.
And the train is no passenger express, it’s the mail train, loaded with cash and gold.
I’ve changed the signal to red and the train is coming slowly to a stop.
I emerge from the shadows and take aim, as the driver steps down.
Bullet… meet train!

LEWIE

Title: Everything But the Tea

“I need to grab a bottle of tea”, the tourist said.

They stepped into a konbini. A selection of 30 rice balls caught their attention. After five minutes, they panicked and grabbed the only flavor they couldn’t identify, deciding to live life to its fullest and take a chance.

The little store in Tokyo had a better life organization than they did.

They picked up fried chicken, pudding, socks, and a phone charger.

“Would you want chopsticks, a spoon, a bag, a receipt, and heating?” the cashier asked.

So many questions, and overcome with a fear of forgetting something.

“Yes”

LIZZIE

He booked a trip to Japan. He wanted to visit Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe. He wanted to just sit and enjoy the beauty of the cherry blossoms. So, he landed in Tokyo. He was hungry. He went to a street vendor and sat down to eat. And he stayed. He ate and stayed some more. The food was so good, Kyoto and everywhere else would have to wait. A few months later, he moved to Tokyo, and his life changed. Strange guys with massive tattoos hired him to be a bouncer. He’d do anything for that food, even go to jail.

TOM

My Woman From Tokyo

Uncle Bob loved to tell tales of his time in China during the war. His job was to guard high value Japanizes prisoner. After VJ day he continues this work in Tokyo. This is how he met Iva Toguri the voice of Zero Hour, Tokyo Rose. Uncle Bob was her guard and they become good friends. When Iva was released from prison she settled in Chicago. She and my uncle remained friends until his death in 1981. He always spoke highly of her and thought the government had treated her unfairly. I think he might have had a crush on her.

NORVAL JOE

Pinkerton turned to Joan. “Where do you think they are?”

Joan shrugged. “Last we saw, Mr. Yaan was being carried out to sea by a tornado. He’s probably halfway to Tokyo by now.”

Ms. Pinkerton’s face went bright red. She snarled, “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Joan said, recognizing only her superpower might save them and a veil of efficiency spread around them. “Patrick and Bobby Yaan can verify this.”

“Okay, bit it’s late,” Pinkerton said. “We can meet at the Yaan’s house tomorrow morning, say 9:00?”

Joan nodded and shuttled Sabrina back to her car.

PLANET Z

Just as I was waking up and making a cup of coffee, I knew that my coworker in Japan was coming home from a night out in the Tokyo clubs. He usually left an encouraging message and a stack of code changes that I needed to test and document. However, this night there was a ransom note and a photo of a bloody finger. They wanted access to the code base, but my coworker refused to enter the password. Company policy is to notify our security team so I did. I finished my coffee, sat in my chair, and prayed.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Tokyo

LIZZIE

Dear You,
Here’s an unrequested update that will cause a sudden flare-up of indigestion, I know.
He took everything. The jewels, the money, even the hand-painted dishes no one liked.
He did leave a rather offensive note behind that I’ll refrain from copying here.
Now, how do you want to roll? Shall we hunt him down or simply ignore him?
Crazy question, I know. I can hear your swearing from the future. I know your answer.
I’ve gathered a team. I know where he hangs out.
Meet you at the usual place. Tomorrow, midnight.
Bring the meat grinder.
Yours truly.

RICHARD

Wish you were here
I was clearing out the loft. The usual rubbish collected over the years, most of it useless; some bound for charity shops, one or two items worth salvaging and the rest destined for the tip.
Amongst some old newspapers, I rediscovered the relics of a childhood family holiday, including an old postcard.
It was the typical British seaside affair, a cartoon of a busty babe in a bikini, buying an ice-cream.
“I’d like a large one, please. I do like a good long licking!”
Harmless fun, back in the day.
But, I’ve no doubt, hugely offensive to modern sensibilities.

TOM

From the Lost Room

For many years I have been on a great scavenger’s hunt. It was connected to the tv show “The Lost Room”. One of the items of the collection was a painting of an old oak tree. In the fore-ground of the painting was on odd shape stone. After much searching, I learned the oak in question had been on the U of C campus in Berkley. Figured the paint might have some source image. So, I found an old postcard from 1915 which pretty much matched the painting. Written on the card was an update about a trip to Oakland.

SERENDIPIDY

I was struggling with the latest Windows update.
For an hour I’d watched the spinning wheel on the screen: buffering constantly, without a care in the world.
I was in a hurry. I had work to do, I was up against a deadline… But the technology didn’t care and it was taking its own good time to mess me about.
With each circle of the wheel I could feel my stress levels growing.
This was exactly what the shrink had warned me about.
I glanced at the semi-automatic at my side.
Anger, or the update; which would it be?

NORVAL JOE

Old Doris Grindlebomb was 92 when her family took her keys away. No, they weren’t the keys to her Cadillac convertible. There was no way in hell they were gonna take those away from her no matter how blind she was. Or, blind drunk. It was the keys to piano that they took away. For 70 years, she had been the music teacher at the local elementary school, and they would’ve retired her long ago if anyone else had wanted the job. She switched to the saxophone. She was so bad at it, they gave her the piano keys back.

PLANET Z

Old Doris Grindlebomb was 92 when her family took her keys away. No, they weren’t the keys to her Cadillac convertible. There was no way in hell they were gonna take those away from her no matter how blind she was. Or, blind drunk. It was the keys to piano that they took away. For 70 years, she had been the music teacher at the local elementary school, and they would’ve retired her long ago if anyone else had wanted the job. She switched to the saxophone. She was so bad at it, they gave her the piano keys back.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Lewie
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO
Buffering
Update
An old postcard
offensive
Roll

LIZZIE

Give up. Give up. Give up. And he tossed and turned on the bunk bed. Nightmares turning into night sweats. His ears beating to the drum of his heart. Tomorrow. It’ll be another day. Tomorrow. But it never was another day. It was the same day, over and over again. The same intelligence gathering. The same raids. The same ambushes. The same killings. The same deaths. A never-ending string of horrors. Give up… He wished closing his eyes would make everything disappear. The noise, the nightmares, his heartbeat. Give up… That nagging voice hammered on. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll give up.

RICHARD

Marathon
Ask any marathon runner and they will tell you about ‘hitting the wall’. That’s the moment when the fatigue completely overwhelms your body and there’s nothing in the world you want more than to quit.
In technical terms, it’s the point at which your cells run out of glycogen – the fuel that powers your body.
And, right now, I was hitting the wall, big time!
“Keep going!” Somebody in the crowd shouted, “Don’t give up!”
Easy for them to say.
I gave up.
Fell to the ground, exhausted.
And laboriously crawled back the long hundred yards to the start line.

TOM

Full Measure.

O’Brian gave the Lt. Daley the small square of paper. On it were written two words. He raised his eyes to meet the faces of the last of the defenders. It was very quiet, so in a whisper the Lt gave the only order he could give the circumstances. It was a one word, matching the one note of the trumpet. When the fog of war settled the tribe took the field. Second Si-At Paylax stood before Daley’s body. He carefully removed the crumple square of paper. “Why didn’t they give up?” he mused put the paper in his pocket.

NORVAL JOE

“Mrs. Weinerheimer, I appreciate you bringing Sabrina back,” Ms. Pinkerton of Child Protective Services said. “We’ll take care of her from here.”

Joan Weinerheimer was suddenly filled with fury and stepped forward. “I’m not going to give up on Sabrina. You had us turn her in before and where did she end up? Locked in a basement by a group of cultists.”

Pinkerton tried to mask her surprise and said, “That’s a serious charge. I hope you have more than just this girl to back up your accusations.”

Sabrina said, “Let’s go to the Yaan’s house. You can see yourself.”

SERENDIPIDY

You really should give up now. In the long run, it’s for the best; you’re just delaying the inevitable, so why not give up and accept your fate?
You can run, you can hide, you can even fight back if you think that will make a difference.
It won’t.
The outcome is a forgone conclusion. I will hunt you down, and when I have you in my grasp, I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully, and without the slightest remorse.
If you must, then try to escape me, but it really is pointless.
Just give up now.
Because, I never do.

LEWIE

Title: Santa’s Little OSHA Violation

A jolly “Ho-ho-ho” came from behind, followed by “Hidey ho, neighbor!”

“Hello, Santa,” little Timmy replied.

“Why the long face?” Santa asked.

Timmy showed him a block of wood. “I’m building a pinewood derby car, but I have no tools.”

Santa put his hands on his waist and made grunting sounds, followed by the order: “Never give up. Never surrender!”

Santa went into his bag and grabbed a few presents, handing them over. Timmy quickly ripped open the packages, finding a chainsaw, angle grinder, nail gun, industrial CNC router, plasma cutter, and a flame thrower, while Santa shouted, “More power!”

PLANET Z

You’ve heard about the Christmas Truce in World War One, but have you heard of The Big Surrender of The Second Punic War?
Lines of Carthagagenians and Romans facing off, throwing spears and charging, and all of the sudden, silence.
Everybody threw down their swords and spears and shields and held up their hands in surrender.
From the lowest stable slave to the highest general, they all surrendered.
Nobody knew what to do at that point.
They all looked around, trying to figure out what happened.
Or what to do next.
Many just sat down and stared for a while.