Category: Guest Authors

Andrew Ian Dodge is back with another tale of Rupert…

“So what happened to these poor souls? They look like they have seen the devil himself.”
“With God’s loving grace we should be able to bring them round.”
“I hope so for their sake and yours. I would keep that present of mine handy in case one of them is farther gone than he looks…” Replied Rupert.
“You mean?”
“Yes, we lost one as we left the Monastery, that is what turned the rest of them white-haired.” He said. “Look Father it has been a long night, and you’ll be needed inside. We must be off.”
Rupert didn’t say more.

I need to link Andrew’s new podcast to the sidebar. I’ll hit that tomorrow when I settle down with my first cup of mocha coffee with spice.

Andrew Ian Dodge gets to the bottom of a fishy situation…

Rupert returned to his hotel room a bit flustered. And a little sickened; ok a lot.
Rupert went off to bathroom and looked at his pale face in the mirror. He used some water to clean off his face as if to wash away his fear and loathing for what he had seen, not to mention the smell of the bear costume!
As he walked back to the bed and bundled the furry suits into the office, he grabbed his phone and dialled.
“Sage we’ve got a major problem here mate…” He paused. “The fishies plushies weren’t actually in costumes!”

You’ve been seduced by mammon
Money is your king
You don’t care how you get it on
Even if you have to sin
In pursuit of money
weave your web of lies
Greed makes you ugly
I won’t be your damn alibi
There’s no stopping
Your voracious appetite
Even if they’re married
Your excuse is their marriage ain’t right
I’m no longer party
To your little games
I won’t be a witness
When ya house goes up in flames
People are hurting
As you pursue your fun
Dreaming of big villas
Laying in the midday sun
Sunburn…
Sunburn…I just hope you fry

Ah, yes. A fine tale of twittery by Andrew Ian Dodge:

Sage of Wales: They were both stood at the waters edge, Clive felt his feet getting wet and realised that Sarah was holding on tight. He attempted to wrench free, his libido finally allowing sense to take over.
Sarah: (hissing) Oh stop squirming you twit and get in the sea
Sage of Wales: she tossed him ahead of her making sure his feet got no grip.
Clive: (muffled) Help!
Sage of Wales: In moments he was dragged under the water, convinced that it was more than two hands holding him down.
Sarah: It’s time to meet your real family Clive!

Andrew Ian Dodge gives us… the end of Abdul!

Abdul, drifted down towards the city in the sea. There were a few others like him popping into his sight heading towards the same destination. The odd shapes below began to well up in front of him; as did vague outlines of tentacles twisting in the water. One of these forms grabbed Abdul and began to drag him to the centre of the city. He saw the twisted faces of what looked to be thousands of people before him. Their visages showed pain and suffering in extremis. Abdul sped towards them to join them for eternity. HE had to fed.

(Or is it?)

Andrew Ian Dodge fills us in with that’s going on in… The Order…

Suddenly, the acolyte’s head filled with an otherworldly voice that croaked rather than spoke. It was coming from inside his head, not from without.
“You are to prevent the birth of Lucius Wigginbottom. It must not happen in England. He must not be allowed to be born within the confines of this island. He has already been conceived due to the incompetence of other acolytes. You must not fail me. If you succeed, you will be elevated to the next level of the Order. If you should fail, your soul will be forever damned.
“How?”
“You’re to use your office!”

Andrew Ian Dodge continues the creepy tale of Abdul…

Abdul smiled broadly as the doctor swabbed his arm; attempting to find a vein for the injection. Did not even bother him that no one showed up; he had plenty of company in his head. Odd music played in his head as the procedure continued; the cacophony of large scale chanting. He felt the poison in his veins. In Abdul’s case the light was greenish in colour and emanating from something deep below the sea. He floated towards the light; unearthly sounds filled the water around him. He carried on towards his “reward;” one that he would enjoy for eternity.

Andrew Ian Dodge tells the tale of another level entirely to Europe’s big song contest…

In a fishing village off the coast of Turkey they sat stunned seeing what was going on before them. They feared the repercussions for their master as they sat in the Dagon Ministry Hall watching the large TV. “Their” a-tonal entry was wallowing near the bottom of the rankings for the contest. Anastasyia Siren was secretly a member of their cult set to tour Europe to spread the word of Dagon. Europe was voting in their droves for mock horror and heavy metal! A no-message rock party anthem, Lordi! He would no be pleased…they collectively shuddered at the result.

Andrew Ian Dodge checks on how Abdul is doing

Abdul sat in his cell on death-row peering at some far distant place no one else could see. He was offered a religious text of his choosing; but refused telling his jailers that “God speaks directly to me, so I do not need to read anyone else’s interpretation of his words.” His head filled with visions of a place he looked forward to going to; with meliflous unworldly music filling the vision. Feeding time barely brought him out of his trance and he repeatedly told anyone; he looked forward to the next step. Fellow prisoners complained of odd noise every night…

More deranged tales from the strange book discovered recently by famed occultist Andrew Ian Dodge:

Abdul Alzared felt time slow to a crawl as he loaded the second clip into his machine-pistol. He had practiced repeatedly to make sure he could do it smoothly in a few seconds; before his targets had time to get behind cover. He gently squeezed the trigger as he waved his gun back & forth in front of him. He did not hide because his god would protect him as he mowed down the unbelievers. He yelled ‘Ia Ia Cthulhu!’ between bursts… Witnesses who survived the attack swore they heard him yelling ‘Allah Akhbar’ as his bloody attack went down.