Category: Guest Authors

100 Words

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Andrew Ian Dodge writes 100 words about 100 words…

I have 100 words to make you like me. 100 words to make you love me. Or is that 100 words to make you hate me. 100 words to make you respect me or would I rather you revile me? Why do I do this 100 word lark every day? What exactly does this writer, one, Andrew Ian Dodge, expect to get out of doing this daily exercise? Does he think he will be rich or famous or does he want both? I don’t have an answer and I am he. But then again do we always know our reasons?

I wonder if he’ll write 100 words about this?

Love

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Andrew Ian Dodge takes the holiday to heart…

Love is meant to make you happy. Or does it make you sick and helpless? Some say love will make you blind or crazy or mad or drugged. Love will make you do things you would never normally do, say things you would normally never say and think things you never would normally think. Love drives some to do bad or even evil. To fight, to maim and even kill in some cases. As we celebrate this Valentines Day can we truly say that love is a good thing? Or is it like everything else in life…does it just depend?

What do y’all think?

Sitting on the Job

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Okay, we’ve got a first effort by Scot Ellison here… check it out:

When I was 16, I worked as a machinist.
One day I lost concentration, pushed the wrong lever and my thumb was badly
cut. My parents were visiting far away relatives, when the doctor called
for permission to stitch up my thumb.
A week later, as they came in the house, mom and dad were surprised to see
me comfortably seated. It took a moment to figure out that the doctor had
been misunderstood. My folks had been telling and retelling the story of
how I got caught in a machine and that I needed twenty stitches in my bum!

Very cool. I’ve been wanting to do a series of stories about things that happened in my life, but I’ll leave that to Scot.
Things about his life, not mine.
Anyway, if y’all want to record and post stories here, let me know and I’ll get them up here for all to enjoy. And don’t worry about shamelessly pimping your own sites and podcasts… it’s actually welcome here.

User

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Andrew Ian Dodge berates a user…

Are you user or friend
or someone on whom I can depend
Are we disposable
Merely to be acceptable?
When will you learn
You’ll end up in a berm
Pissed away all your mates
Left with only those you hate
Do you treat all like this
Or Am I just a special case
Are we there for you to diss
Just hurdles in the race
When will you learn
Pissed away all your mates
Left with only those you hate
We exist for your pleasure
It’s all about how we measure
Babe you don’t burn bridges
You fucking daisy-cutter em’

I’ll take two daisycutters, please.

March

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Andrew Ian Dodge looks at an upcoming Muslim rally in London with apprehension…

Londoners look to Feb 18th with fear and dread; wondering if they are safe to tread… in their city. We look back at the rally last Friday and the message we saw; wondering if those Muslims marching this time will take them to heart. Calling for all our deaths and torture does not encourage faith in their wanting to be good neighbours. Moderates using Nazi propaganda to rant against Jews does not inspire either. Will next week help convince us that British Muslims can live in a civilised society or will it be more of the same? It’s their call.

As the waves get bigger, watch for the hurricane to make landfall.

Closin

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Andrew Ian Dodge gets a bit dark here for a bit…

Darkness comes for me, trying to envelope me
To take me away, into a black void
Foreboding images cloud my mind, never leaving me behind
A gathering doom mine alone,
Such constant gathering drone
It stalks me night & day, No matter where I may be
Ever closer all the time, mocking me with doom
This fate is mine alone, everywhere I roam
Will follow me always, until it catches me some day
To the hills in darkness, I will be led,
Matching my reality, with all my mental calamity
To the hills in darkness, I will be led

Wow. I’m so uplifted and happy now!

Mauled

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Andrew Ian Dodge continues the beat poetry stories today with Mauled

You had to get involved
No matter what the cost
Who cares if feelings get mauled?
You don’t care about that
You think you got what you wanted
But in the end it’s a chalice
A poisoned one at that
One that will tear you apart
When it all goes to hell
You will plead you didn’t know
But ultimately you will pay
What goes around, comes around
Fate has a bite ready for thee
I don’t hate you my friend
I pity your ultimate fate
Everyone will soon learn the truth
And you’ll be the one to get burned

I’ll remember this one.

Fey

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Who’s the butchest guy in the world? Not Andrew Ian Dodge, apparently…

I ain’t the butchist fellow going
Not the best at the ole’ pullin’
But that is the way it goes
Why get uptight any more?
Not gay, but not exactly straight
How do you go about finding mates
So what if wankers think you’re gay
So why get upset anyway?
After all it’s okay to be fey
And befuddle others along the way
Camp as hell, so what
Viva la difference et al
Queer eye and all that lot
Trying to make men what they’re not
Fake metros ain’t so cool
Cause they try so hard to be a dude

Yes, but you’ll always be more manly than me.

Llama (Story One)

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Jim S. begins a saga of lamas…

It surprised me when I received the phone call from the director that I should report to brig #6. Ever since the humans had eradicated the earth, there wasn’t too much call for us legal-types on the orbital station. It wasn’t like there was a lot of room or motivation to get into trouble up here. I’d prepared a single defense, which basically consisted of a pre-formatted apology and it had done the trick every time so far.
A short time later, I was sitting with a scrawny, bespectacled scientist named Drienon.
Then he began to tell me his story…

This appears to be continued.

Llama (Story Two)

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Jim S. has a little too much fun with llamas.

“You’ve been charged with what?”
“Unnatural acts of perversion.” He said. “It was the peanut butter that did the trick. Resurrecting the llama wouldn’t have been possible without it.”
“Really?” I said, “Do continue…”
“It was an idea I had a while ago. All of the DNA samples from every species have been stored up here since before the humans destroyed the earth. They’re obviously here so someone can resurrect the species made extinct by the humans’ stupidity. I figured I’d give it a try. It almost worked, too… until the police arrived.”
THIS was going to be a challenge.

Um… okay.