Category: Guest Authors

Deeds

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Okay, so it’s late by a day. I was busy with… other things.
And now, Andrew Ian Dodge:

Talk is cheap or so it’s said
Instead of whingeing, get off the bed
And stop bitching how you are led
Theory is all the fine & dandy
For those who sit around like a pansy
Nothing is done by sitting on your duff
Vamping & posing around in a huff
Time is short & the end is nigh
Freedom comes only for those willing to die
Cry & cry as you might,
but change comes from those willing to fight
Preaching from your chair is all fine & good
But it won’t change anything, for you & your brood

I wonder who he’s talking about.

The Amazing Moldini

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The theme was a White Rabbit, which I blew off because it came way too late and I’d already written something. However, Jim S. the Folderman was up to the challenge!

TA-DUM!
For the 3,627,122nd time, “The Amazing Moldini” pulled the bloody white rabbit out of the hat.
This time was slightly different, though. The rabbit really was bloody. He’d been calling it “that bloody rabbit” for so long that it actually didn’t register at first. It was a little hard to ignore the pregnant silence that descended right after the impressed sigh that he was so used to.
Looking up at the bloody carcass, he sighed. To think, he’d actually thought that being the “house show” at the Broadview Retirement Home was the absolute lowest that his career could sink…

Go ask Alice!

The Letter Q

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This podcast of a Jim S. the Folderman has been brough to you by the letter Q…

Why does it seem like everything is brought to you by the letter “Q”?
“A” gets a bum rap if you ask me. It is first and foremost among the letters and yet that damned “Q” gets all that attention. It’s not fair, I say. And a good marketing campaign is essential to rectify the problem.
Obviously, “A” didn’t think it would need a good publicist and manager. It forgot that the first is often the quickest to fade from memory and quite blatantly relied on advice from a manager who was already making the quick bucks on “Q”’s career.

A’s manager sounds like my agent.

Dane

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Andrew Ian Dodge jumps on the whole Danish Cartoon Kerfuffle…

Its pretty amazing that so much trouble is being caused by just 12 cartoons from a tiny country called Denmark. Muslim countries in the world are shocked at the testicular fortitude of Danish leaders. It seems clear that the Muslim bully-boys don’t realise that Danes come from Viking stock. The more Muslims threaten Danes with violence and boycott’s the more united they become. Its also interesting to see that many European countries are backing Denmark; not so surprising the EU is backing the Muslim countries. I urge all of you to buy Danish often and stand up for free speech!

Um… er… okay.
Is Pez Danish?

It wasn’t a simple exit from a carnie ride

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Jim S. takes the carnival ride exit sign theme to its fun conclusion…

It wasn’t a simple exit from a carnie ride.
To her, it was a vision, an epiphany, if you will. Her entire life had been spent building up to this moment. On the other side of that flashy, impressive “EXIT” sign was a new life.
She’d followed, unhappily in her mother’s footsteps and enlisted in the carnie lifestyle. Every step of the way, she’d dreaded it, UNTIL today. Today’s events had changed everything. This time she meant it. It was about time for her to be out of here.
So, without further adieu, the bearded lady stepped through the exit.

You go, girl!

Growing Old Disgracefully

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He’s our generation’s Kurt Cobain, but without the huge holes in his head… it’s Andrew Ian Dodge!

Old enough to know better
Just too young to care
Old enough to know better
Too damn drunk to care
Growing Old Disgracefully
Beats dying young & innocent
Growing up does not mean
Working hard all day
worrying about keeping lean
Or if you are going all grey
Bald, white or silver hair
You can still rock like hell
No need to be in despair
Until they ring da final bell.
Death comes to you whatever
Being boring don’t make you last
We are by the grace of
Whatever or whomever let’s us stay alive
Why bother sitting & praying

I’m holding up a lit cigarette lighter.

It has been a long night

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Jim S. The Folderman comes up with an odd story about a birthday surprise…

It had been a long night. Since it was my birthday today, I hadn’t minded spending the night with those “buddies” from Xylon-7. They were quite hospitable, as usual, it’s just that I tend to “forget” certain parts of the night after a few rounds of Driamian ale.
Like the time they probed me, just to make use of that Earth-cliché. I didn’t remember it until the video was playing on the main view-screen in the office a week later. Ha-ha… very funny.
Only Xylon knows what “fun” event from last night will turn up on the view-screen next week!

Happy birthday, Jim!

LD

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Andrew Ian Dodge does his usual political scrying and reports…

Another weekend and more a consolidation of Lib-Dem scandals than any new ones. Readers of the News of the Screws were greeted with an interview and picture of the ballet dancer/rent-boy involved with Mark Oaten. Considering how much the guy makes and charges its more like Mortgage boy.
Steyn makes an interesting point:
Forty per cent of Lib Dems now say they want Charles Kennedy back in charge. Another week, and the rest will be happy to take Jeremy Thorpe.
Lib-Dems seem to think the scandals won’t hurt them at all. Their plummeting polling numbers are an illusion I guess.

How about some unicorns?

Muso

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Andrew Ian Dodge ponders the life of a musician and why one gets into music:

I was thinking today about being a musician and having a band. It struck me that the old adage is really rather true. You start a band to get laid. No matter how much we prattle on about wanting to “express ourselves;” its all crap. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I do rather tire of twits like that knob out of Coldplay going on about doing music to “change the world”. I am sure one of the reasons most musos jump at charity causes is because of guilt. Very few give a damn about the cause.

I find it all highly amusing.

Galloway’s Fatwah

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Andrew Ian Dodge tells of Galloways booting from the Big Brother house…

George Galloway, late of the Big Brother house and his booed exit, will not only learn that the Serious Fraud Office is after his arse, but those to whom he considers himself a saviour. It seems there has been a serious backlash amoungst Muslims about his antics in the BB house. In fact one group. The Saved Sect has launched a fatwa against him; claiming he is “an animal” and claimed he is “a man of low intellect and morality.” Well, I never, something we can agree with radical Islamists on. Who’d a thunk it? I mean really…odd innit?

Maybe he will be going to the Big House next?