Weekly Challenge #455 – Piracy

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic: PIRACY

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The next 100 word stories weekly challenge is on the topic of MESS. Scroll up and click on Weekly Challenge to learn how to join us!

Pillowcat

JOHN MUSICO

Piracy
by John Musico

I first came across the issue of piracy when I tried downloading music from the internet.
When I worked on a TV series which included picture in picture scenes, I further learned the fine for copyright infringement is $150K per transgression.
So. I posted as many of my own pictures on the net as I could. I gave them unique titles that were easy for me to Google.
In just one week, I found 10 of my pics used on some stranger’s website.
My scam was a bit evil, however, with a million in the bank; I’ll sleep just fine.

MUNSI

Pirates

By Christopher Munroe

When Johnny Depp was kidnapped by actual Somali pirates, we all agreed it was going to be amazing. News networks went berserk, comedians got ready and we were primed to follow this amazing, if socially irrelevant, news story wherever it might take us.

It was, after all, the sort of amazing TV that didn’t come along every day, and we were excited to make the most of it.

Three days later the pirates killed him.

Because in real life, pirates do that.

It was kind of a downer.

Ah well. Hopefully the next thing will be a little more fun.

LIZZIE

They approached the ship at night. Two went up to the control room. The rest looked for the crew quarters; everyone was fast asleep. The captain wasn’t. After a scuffle and a black eye, he gave up. Much to his surprise, the leader of the group demanded the cargo. “But… It’s books.” The boxes were unloaded and taken away. The school of the village would finally teach proper English. The media hurried to state that even pirates have a heart, the authorities protested vehemently and the pirates’ only thought was that in the future, they’d make their demands more efficiently.

JEFFREY

“Spoilers”
by Jeffrey Fischer

I enjoy watching movies on DVD rather than in the theater. Not only is my living room more comfortable and quieter than the theater, with no rowdy kids or the glow of smartphone screens interrupting the story, but movies always come with a little extra. Even before the action begins, the FBI warning shows up, and I know G-Men are on the job, stopping movie piracy. I’m not quite sure how I could charge a fee for watching the piece of trash that is about to follow, but I sleep more soundly knowing my more clever neighbors aren’t making a buck out of it.

“Bad Day at the Office”
by Jeffrey Fischer

Two Somali pirates were at a bar, talking business over a vintage fermented goat’s milk. “How was your last kidnapping?”

“Wonderful, Allah be praised. A rich American infidel and his mistress on a yacht. I received two million dollars in ransom.”

“Allah be praised. On my last trip, I caught a small cruise ship. It was a fundraising trip for both Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush. Each wants to be the next leader of the Great Satan.”

“That must have resulted in a large ransom indeed.”

“One would think so. But both the Democrats and Republicans refused to pay even a single cow for their return. The Republicans told me to push Mr. Bush overboard, while the Democrats offered me a show on MSNBC to do the same to Mrs. Clinton.”

RICHARD

#1 – George’s Story – Part 88: Waiting

When George finally found the waiting room shown in the images, he was somewhat shocked to find the room already occupied by a rather scruffy looking guy, thumbing through an old magazine.

Taking a seat, George cleared his throat and introduced himself: “I’m George, and you are?”

“Bored”, came the response; “Got anything to read on you? I’ve read this piece on internet piracy about twenty times now.”

George shook his head.

“Pity”, said the stranger, returning to his magazine.

“So, er… what exactly do we do now?”, asked George.

The stranger nodded towards the waiting room sign:

“We wait!”

#2 – Yar!

Where did the romance of piracy go?

Long gone are the days of splicing the mainbrace, muskets and cannon, peg legs and brass spyglasses; and I can’t remember when I last saw a privateer run up the Jolly Roger and heave to.

Talking parrots and cutlasses have had their day, and you’re more likely to hear a string of Somalian, than ‘shiver me timbers’ in a piratey voice!

Swashbuckling adventure on the high seas isn’t quite the same with machine guns and machetes.

But, some things haven’t changed.

You can still make a tidy profit, in dollars, rather than doubloons.

#3 – Yo ho ho!

I won’t say that I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up – my ambitions changed from day to day.

When I said I wanted to be a pirate, my parents told me to be realistic: so I opted for astronaut, to which they said, ‘come back down to earth, son’.

I tried, but didn’t have the brains for a surgeon, or the brawn for a fireman.

So, instead, I lurk all day in my room, burning counterfeit DVDs to sell down the market.

Proved my parents wrong – I grew up to be a pirate anyway!

ZACKMANN

Ratsy was born on March fourteenth so naturally he was given the first name Pi. He loved television especially movies with rats in them. Especially ones in which rats worked in kitchens like Rizzo helping Long John in the galley. On a computer tablet he would watch cooking videos on youtube then practice cooking when he was alone. Eventually he achieved his lifelong dream: becoming a real life Ratatouille. Now he make the best desserts. You can look far and wide but you are very unlikely to find another rodent who is as good a pastry chef as Pi Ratsy.

ANIMA

The Dream Pirates

James woke with a start. He tried to remember his dream, the one with savage indians and treehouses, but only came up with half images of clocks, hooks and toothy crocodiles.

He tried to remember; he thought he’d been flying. He thought he’d been happy. But even as he roused himself out of that half state of early morning awareness, James felt the joy slipping away.

Sailing ships became math problems; his overdue book report and homeroom filled his waking senses.

The Dream Pirates had struck again, stealing childhood’s dreams worth gold, replacing them with realities wooden nickels and fears.

SERENDIPITY

You laughed when you read the warnings… ‘Piracy is a crime’: So what, you thought, everybody does it, and the entertainment industry makes enough money as it is.

Oh, they certainly do.

Enough money to employ me… and I’m coming to get you.

For every song you’ve ever stolen, every movie you’ve taken and every game you’ve copied, I am going to make you pay the price.

And I’ll expect every penny, with interest, paid in full on demand.

I will find you.

And you will pay.

And, if you can’t…

I’m going to make you walk the plank!

RICK THOMAS

A “Not So Roughshod” Pillaging
__________________________

They met in a bar by the bay …
green eyes, brown hair, broad shouldered he ravaged her again and again …
he and his friends had taken over her apartment like pirates raiding a ship!
They ate her food, drank her liquor, smoked, cursed, treated her as a servant wench …
at one point or another they had all put their hands on her inappropriately!
The raucous behavior was incessant, her home a wreck in the space of a long weekend.
Now they were gone … order restored …

Her heart ached for their return!

They were the best three days of her life!!!

SPATE

The Choice

Slow death is delicate agony. An Esther Williams black and white
synchronized water ballet of goodbyes. Fully extended arms as metronomes,
reaching in unison, counting the moments. backstroke goodbye, backstroke
goodbye; swimming away until strength is no more and then quietly slipping
beneath the surface of the pool.
Fade out.

Fast death is an act of piracy. An abrupt Charles Laughton led boarding
under cover of darkness. Pillaging substance, raping permanence; it sets
the ship afire, leaving you to jump alone into the black turbulence of the
sea.
Celluloid breaks, flapping to projector white light.

Which ending would you choose?

(music: “New England Is Interesting” by BOPD / curator: freemusicarchive.org
/ licensed CC BY-NC 3.0)

SCOTT

Piracy:

Peddling bootleg DVDs in Asia can be a risky business. Authorities love to make statements with high profile arrests, and even better if the offender is a foreigner.

Randy knew this, but he wasn’t worried. “Ten years of piracy and still counting. Besides, it takes a pirate to catch a pirate,” he’d say.

Therefore he was a little startled one day when his front door flew past him and crashed into the back wall. In the doorway stood an ancient buccaneer, teetering on a wooden leg. “A hundred years of piracy, and still counting,” the pillager bellowed, unsheathing his sword.

TOM

A Well Defined Relationship Part 84

“Where are I,” said Timmy. “We are with Tamerlane,” said Cid. The boy and the bandit where standing in a dimly lit cube 16×16. On one wall hung a 16th century mirror. Against an other was a child’s seesaw. In the center a green velvet black jack dealer’s station. Behind a man was removing single sheets of paper from a four ream stack and carefully writing on each. “This is the big bad secret,” troubled Tim. “Oh indeed Master Parsons, you’re looking at Piracy on a galactic level. Ask about a secret. “Who kill Kennedy?’ The dealer wrote the following.

In the Name of the Game

Tony was a runner. This was in the days of 5 ¼ floppies. He had gaming friends in both the South and North Bay. In San Jose he knew sector/track/byte sum crackers. In Concord he knew a guy with a garage full of q/a kicked Datalife disks. The best was to go to jail for copyright infringement was in the labyrinth of law which was mail fraud, thus the need for someone to be the sneaker-net. That was Tony, Buses to Bart, Bart to Buses. No one in the chain charged for their respective service it was Piracy without profit.

NORVAL JOE

Harold enjoyed his position as assistant headmaster at a boys’ school, though he knew he was hated by most of the students. The boys could hate him. He had what they wanted and knew that the little brats would pay well for it.
Over the years he had tried many ways to turn a few bucks from smuggling items into the dorms. He had sold soda, energy drinks, candy and pizza. Hands down, Harold’s most successful hustle was selling pirated video games. They cost almost nothing to rip off the internet and there wasn’t a boy who didn’t want one.

CHELSEA

The pirate

He stood at the now of his ship looking out at the calm blue ocean before him. All his life he’s been told no at every turn. That simple word had shaped him into the man he was today.
Every person who’d ever told him no hoping to break him a little more each day had only served to make him stronger. The only thing they had accomplished was to push him closer to this day.
“Hoist our colors!” He called to his crew.
He looked up as the black and white flag caught the ocean breeze, he was free.

TURA

Piracy
——–
“Arr!” said Cap’n Jack Black to his crew.

“Yarrr-har!” they responded.

“Listen up, mateys,” the Captain went on. “Afore Billy Bones died, he gave me ‘is treasure map! It’s a little island don’t appear on the charts, three days out to sea from here. Are ye rarin’ to go?”

“Yarrr!” they cheered.

“Google Maps doesn’t show it,” said one crewman, consulting his iPhone.

“It be tidal, it be,” riposted the Captain. “Only shows at low tide.”

“That would be a shipping hazard,” said another. “NOAA maps say there’s nothing there.”

“Arr,” said the Captain. “Piracy just isn’t fun any more.”

CLIFF

In the Golden Age of piracy, she was the best. She would have been the pirate queen but nobody ever knew her name. She looted seven Spanish galleons in one raid, sent them to the ocean floor, and everyone thought they had sunk in a storm. She raided ships in the oceans Atlantic, Indian, and Pacific. She once convinced the entire crew of a French treasure ship to abandon their vessel and make for shore in lifeboats due to ghost and curses. And who was this mysterious woman? Weren’t you listening? I told you that nobody ever knew her name.

PLANET Z

For centuries, your status in piracy was determined by how much you stole.
Then, the most important factor was the color of your beard.
Bluebeard… Blackbeard… Yellowbeard… you’ve heard of them, right?
Pirates started dyeing their beards with all kinds of colors.
Redbeard… Orangebeard… Pinkbeard… Ochrebeard…
Things got way out of hand, and merchant ships were sailing safely while pirates were too busy dyeing their beards.
A conclave of pirate captains came together to set beard standards.
No more wild colors. Beards could only be dyed to match the pirate’s hair color.
And that’s when they started using colored ribbons.

2 thoughts on “Weekly Challenge #455 – Piracy”

  1. You have asked what it would take to be offended. I think I’ve found that answer in Rick Thomas’s story. I’m not saying you should pull the story or shouldn’t have included it. We all have the right to produce what makes us happy. You have an explicit tag for that purpose.

    I’ve re-read his story a number of times trying to see how it could be a story that was not about a woman who was happy to be raped, enslaved and abused by three men. I think it is dangerous to make rape and abuse a laughing matter. Call me old fashioned. Call me pussy whipped. Call me a feminist. I don’t care.

    There are some who believe we have a “Rape Culture” in America. I fight the assumption that the majority of men in America think of women as objects or property. But, stories like this one show that there is, at least, a component who thinks its funny.

    Having a daughter who is just entering her teenage years, that kind of story scares me.

  2. Been holding back, but here goes anyway… Rick’s story actually left a different impression on me: I came away with a feeling of sadness, pondering how bad this woman’s life must have been to cause a weekend of abuse to be her best.

    Don’t mean to minimize the offense you felt Norvaljoe and certainly I’m not condoning rape or abuse, just that my takeaway was a little different (whether that was the author’s intent or not).

    And for the record I’m originally from Massachusetts which practically instantly qualifies me as a liberal pussy whipped feminist. Damn proud of it too!

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