Author: R.

For my wewewedding

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Sarah and Jake stuttered badly, so they found a stuttering priest for their wedding.
Cute, right?
Not exactly.
The ceremony was five hours long. Two bridesmaids and a groomsman fainted from the heat.
After careful review of the videotape, we believe the happy couple were actually married to each other. Or the father of the bride to his daughter. We do know for a fact that the Maid Of Honor ended up married to the six year-old ring bearer and the ushers married to each other.
As for the vows, we have no freaking idea what they promised each other.

Abdul Part 4

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Andrew Ian Dodge gives us… the end of Abdul!

Abdul, drifted down towards the city in the sea. There were a few others like him popping into his sight heading towards the same destination. The odd shapes below began to well up in front of him; as did vague outlines of tentacles twisting in the water. One of these forms grabbed Abdul and began to drag him to the centre of the city. He saw the twisted faces of what looked to be thousands of people before him. Their visages showed pain and suffering in extremis. Abdul sped towards them to join them for eternity. HE had to fed.

(Or is it?)

Weekly Challenge #6 – War Story

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Welcome to the sixth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was a war story.
Only four stories were submitted this week, plus the usual madness from the planet of insane bards, Planet Z. Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorite:

Who wrote the best story this week?
Elisson of blog d’Elisson
Andrew of Dodgeblogium
Rahel of Elms In The Yard
Beck of Incite
The Mystery Writer From Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme will be posted shortly.

Order

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Andrew Ian Dodge fills us in with that’s going on in… The Order…

Suddenly, the acolyte’s head filled with an otherworldly voice that croaked rather than spoke. It was coming from inside his head, not from without.
“You are to prevent the birth of Lucius Wigginbottom. It must not happen in England. He must not be allowed to be born within the confines of this island. He has already been conceived due to the incompetence of other acolytes. You must not fail me. If you succeed, you will be elevated to the next level of the Order. If you should fail, your soul will be forever damned.
“How?”
“You’re to use your office!”

Know It All

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Something snapped in Daniel’s mind. He went from inventorying office supplies to killing everyone in cold blood.
The carnage at the office was worse than you could possibly imagine.
As he stood over his trembling soon-to-be-ex boss, Daniel fumbled through all of his pockets.
“What are you looking for?” asked the boss.
“I’m looking for the bullet with your name on it,” said Daniel. “I swear I had just a minute ago.’
“Maybe it’s already loaded in the gun,” said his boss. “Did you check?”
Daniel checked. Sure enough, it was.
“You fucking know-it-all asshole,” said Daniel, aiming and firing.

Where Math Is Feared

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Every year, children who question the importance of mathematics are taken on a field trip to the math-challenged Duchy of East Rosemarch.
The town square only has three sides. No two streets are the same width. The currency constantly changes value, causing economic chaos. Felons are let out of jail at random times.
Most kids realize the simple lesson of the Duchy, but there’s always a few dim bulbs that find the experience enticing and captivating.
They usually end up living in the Duchy when they get older, joining the society of math-phobic fools in perpetual numerical and geometric madness.

Chadwick

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Baron Chadwick stood at the parapet at sundown and serenaded the moon with the strains of violin music.
For hundreds of years, the moon rewarded him with restful sleep and another day of life.
He keep the arrangement a secret, quietly changing servants every decade or so.
But one morning, Chadwick awoke to find his violin and butler gone.
He watched the creases reappear on the backs of his hands throughout the day. As the sun went down, he felt the telltale aches and pains.
Chadwick pulled his the spare violin and played… with the same old ancient magical bow.

Abdul Part 3

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Andrew Ian Dodge continues the creepy tale of Abdul…

Abdul smiled broadly as the doctor swabbed his arm; attempting to find a vein for the injection. Did not even bother him that no one showed up; he had plenty of company in his head. Odd music played in his head as the procedure continued; the cacophony of large scale chanting. He felt the poison in his veins. In Abdul’s case the light was greenish in colour and emanating from something deep below the sea. He floated towards the light; unearthly sounds filled the water around him. He carried on towards his “reward;” one that he would enjoy for eternity.

Two Knights

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Two knights lay in a pile of wrecked armor, shattered lances, and bent swords.
“Yield?” wheezed Sir Humphreys.
“Never,” coughed Sir Boltac.
Boltac looked around for a weapon to use, but they were all damaged.
“We could use fists,” suggested Humphreys.
“Fists are for knaves,” said Boltac. “We are men of honor.”
Humprheys agreed, and winced as he tried to get up.
“We must settle this somehow,” moaned Humphreys.
“Thumbwrestling honorable enough?” asked Boltac.
“Sure,” said Humphreys. “En garde!”
Dusk came, and two knights lay in a pile of wrecked armor, shattered lances, and bent swords, nursing their broken thumbs.

Dagonvision

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Andrew Ian Dodge tells the tale of another level entirely to Europe’s big song contest…

In a fishing village off the coast of Turkey they sat stunned seeing what was going on before them. They feared the repercussions for their master as they sat in the Dagon Ministry Hall watching the large TV. “Their” a-tonal entry was wallowing near the bottom of the rankings for the contest. Anastasyia Siren was secretly a member of their cult set to tour Europe to spread the word of Dagon. Europe was voting in their droves for mock horror and heavy metal! A no-message rock party anthem, Lordi! He would no be pleased…they collectively shuddered at the result.