Category: My stories

When the music’s over

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When the music’s over, turn out the light.
That’s what Jim Morrison said, but what happens when the music’s still going, but you need to turn out the light and go to bed?
Do you really want to be alone and in the dark with the music?
I end up turning on a light in another room so the music goes in there. Then I turn out the light in here and close the door.
The music tries to creep in under the door.
And so does the light.
I put a towel under the door and go to sleep.

Repeater

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Billy The Repeater is in the neighborhood, repeating everything that everyone says.
It used to be cute how he did it, but it’s gotten really annoying.
I can tell Billy is exhausted, too. The strain on his face as he mimics everything I say shows his exhaustion.
We tried to cut his tongue out, but now he mumbles and slurs everything.
That’s not so great, especially when I really need Billy to repeat something I can’t remember saying, but Billy remembers.
“What did I say, Billy?” I ask.
“Whafff di Ah sehhhhh Buhhhhhheeeee,” he mumbles.
As I said, really annoying.

Please

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I looked at the note in the victim’s hand.
“Please…”
One word, three dots.
That’s all that was on the note.
Nothing else.
“Please… do what?” asked Sam.
“I have no idea,” I said. “The rest’s blank.”
“At least they’re polite,” said Sam. “Want a beer?”
“Yeah,” I said.
So we went to the bar.
The bartender asked me if I wanted the usual.
“Please,” I said, nodding.
Sam looked at me. And then…
“No, that’s not it,” he said.
We never did solve the mystery of who wrote the note or what it meant.
The victim’s just as dead.

With Everything

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I didn’t feel like cooking, so I called the local pizza joint and asked them to send me a large pizza with everything.
“Everything?” they ask.
“Yes, everything,” I reply.
They pause a moment, I hear… breathing.
“Everything???????”
“Yes! Everything!”
The voice on the other end of the line is crumbling with fear and rage. “Oh… my… God! You sick monster!”
And then, the sound of a heavy metal blade hitting wood and a piercing scream.
I hang up quickly.
What have I done? What exactly is everything?
I need to lock the door. I need to hide.
Stay…. away!

It comes with the territory

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It doesn’t matter where you go.
Right around the corner.
Paris.
The Moon.
There’s always drama.
You get two folks together, best of friends, and something’s going to happen between them
Heck, you could be the last person in the world, and you’ll pull off a sock, put it on your hand, and have drama with Mister Socky.
On the other hand, quite literally, that’s what Mrs. Socky is for. She’s there to keep Mister Socky in line.
See? Just the three of us, enjoying the end of the world.
My feet are cold. But that’s okay, because we’re together.

Shopper

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Susan held the can of peas in her hands and thought for a moment… how did she know that there were peas in there?
She grabbed a can of corn from the shelf and looked at it. Was she certain it contained corn?
She took a razor blade and peeled off the labels from the cans, switched them, and smoothed them over the dribble of glue on the can’s seal.
What was in each can now? Was there corn in the corn can and peas in the pea can?
She put them back on the shelf to maintain the mystery.

Product Testing

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When I was growing up, we lived in Deerfield, which was next to Northbrook, and that’s where Underwriter’s Laboratories was.
We went on a tour, and I saw smart people in white lab coats, breaking things all day long.
When we got home, the first thing I did was break something.
“See!” I said, happily. “I’m smart!”
“You moron!” said my brother. “Why did you do that?”
“I’m testing products to see if they’re safe,” I said.
“I think Nana Ruth’s vase was safe,” said my brother, and he told Mom.
Soon afterwards, Dad tested his belt across my ass.

The Hunt

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When the sun goes down, vampires wake up from their slumber and roam the countryside.
Here’s my question: do the vampire hunters come out and hunt them?
Back in the romantic days of vampire hunting, yes. They would face off with the vampires under the moonlight.
But then, vampire hunters started to use technology to seek out and hunt vampires during the day, rooting out their hiding places and destroying them while they were defenseless.
Now, it’s a mix of those daytime operations and some highly sophisticated tracking methods at night.
One day, all the vampires will be defeated.
Hallelujah.

The Oldest

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We’re going to miss Daisy.
The first words that she ever said was “This is the oldest I’ve ever been.”
Everyone was shocked to hear this, because it took a level of self-awareness and deep understanding of the nature of life and mortality you wouldn’t expect in someone so young.
Over time, Daisy faced her life’s struggle and would say that phrase with pride. Then, when things turned too rough for her to handle, she said it with worry.
As she approached her twilight years, her accomplishments already made and legacy established, the worry gradually changed to a confident wisdom.

Juel’s Fish

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The song’s over, now you’ve got your chance.
Ask her why she has a fish circling her head and she’ll point to the fishbowl on her counter top.
It’s a perfectly ordinary glass fishbowl, filled with water. There’s some teal blue gravel at the bottom and a nice little castle and sea diver in there, too.
“He’s claustrophobic,” she says, tickling the fish on its belly as it passes by her ear.
Sometimes, it’s orange. Other times, it’s blue. And then, when it’s really happy, it’s a rainbow of colors.
She picks up her guitar, smiles, and begins to play.