Category: Weekly Challenge

Weekly Challenge #979 – Cork

The next topic is Teach

If I overlooked your story for this week, just send it to me with an admonishment and I will get it up on the feed in its own exclusive post.

LIZZIE

“I don’t want to know what you do with those humans. All I know is that when you come back, you can hardly function. You keep yelling Die! Die! Die! and you want to have a plant-based diet for weeks. And there’s no point in coming up with excuses. It was the trip. It was the pollution, it was the weather. There’s always something. This time, you had a drawing of a blond. A blond! So, I want a divorce.”
“A divorce?! Have you been reading the books I brought back with me again? We don’t even have marriages here!”

RICHARD

— A Little Less Conversation —
“Put a cork in it, will you?”
Jeff looked at me, a little shocked.
“Dude, I’m just expressing an opinion.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been expressing the same opinion for the last ten minutes, and I haven’t had a look in! You’re aware that a conversation is a two-way activity, right?”
He rolled his eyes, then gestured for me to contribute to the conversation.
After some thought, carefully considering all the nonsense that he’d been spouting, I came to a conclusion.
“OK”, I said.
“What? Is that seriously all you have to say?” he demanded.
I nodded my head.
“Yep.”

SERENDIPIDY

The products I use are all planet-friendly, plant-based and vegan.
It’s not that I particularly care about the environment, but when it comes to marketing, they really bring in the customers.
Just adding the word ‘recyclable’ to my beauty products can boost sales by fifty percent, and – better still – I can double the price and they’ll still fly off the shelves.
They will of course, still kill you, eventually.
They’re stuffed full of carcinogens, poison and chemicals, even though they’re naturally-sourced.
I can’t put all that on the packaging though, despite being true.
And business is booming!

NORVAL JOE

When the counselor dragged Sabrina away Billbert wandered on to class. Passing a display window by the admin office he saw a number of new photos pinned onto a cork board. There were more than 100 pictures from sporting events, club meetings, and other student functions on the school grounds. He found two pictures of him with Linoliamanda and one with Sabrina.

In each of the pictures there was also a girl, clearly watching them, or maybe just him. He’d never seen her before. She had dark red hair and more freckles than anyone on the Pacific Coast should have.

PLANET Z

Tracking cases is really important for my job
Some people track their cases with a whiteboard, writing new cases on the board and adding notes for status updates.
Others track them online with fancy tracking tools, linking notes and sharing them and running reports.
I use a corkboard with post-it notes, moving new cases from the top to the bottom and adding flags and bubbles to them with additional notes.
And yet, I still miss a few publishing windows or updates.
Just like I did with my white board and online tracker.
But at least the cork board looks cool.

Weekly Challenge #978 – Postal Bomb

The next topic is Cork

RICHARD

— Gone Postal —
It was effectively a postal bomb.
When I opened the letter that dropped through my letter box that morning, I suppose you could say its contents caused me life-changing injuries.
Everything I thought I knew and depended upon was blown to pieces in that moment, trust was destroyed and the shrapnel and fallout from that letter continues to cause me pain and suffering even today.
They say that the pen is mightier than the sword. Never was a truer word spoken.
I burned the letter and cast its ashes into the wind.
But the damage had already been done.

TOM

Fowl play.

Did you know you can send live baby chicks in the post? Yup. CO22 Perishables. C022 describes the normal transit time standards for mailing perishable goods, including live animals, furs, plants, and non-mailable plant pests. Live day-old chickens, ducks, and geese acceptable in the mail only if: The box is properly ventilated, of proper construction and strength to bear safe transmission in the mail, and not stacked more than 10 units high. There was nothing stated about how many chicks can go in said box. I bet you didn’t know closely packed chicks tend to explode. Thus, a Postal bomb.

LIZZIE

Buy the explosives. Don’t tell anyone.
Buy the explosives online. Don’t tell anyone.
Buy the explosives on the dark web. Don’t tell…
OK, how do I get on the dark web?
I could ask that crazy guy who smokes pot all day. No, better not. Perhaps that other one who buys bread on Wednesdays, the one who only wears black. No… The neighbor down the street? Oh, no, not that one, his brother is a cop. Abort, abort. Bad, bad idea.
This is not going well. Think.
OK, easy steps.
Buy envelope. Don’t tell anyone. Avoid Wednesdays, just in case.

SERENDIPIDY

It may be old-fashioned, but it’s simple, precise, effective and – with careful planning – untraceable.
It’s not like it used to be. With modern explosives and techniques, there’s no giveaways, like greasy marks on the packaging or suspect whiffs of almond.
Plus, it’s sort of environmentally friendly! I make mine exclusively using recycled Amazon boxes, and therein lies the key to my success.
We rarely question when an Amazon box is left on our doorstep, it’s probably something we ordered and forgot about.
Or maybe, we’ve struck it lucky, and received something intended for someone else?
Let’s open it now!

LISA

A Bad Day
I’d woken late, couldn’t find my keys, my hair looked crap… you know the days, right? I left the house in a temper and then there was a queue at the Post Office. It snaked around the shop and wasn’t just out the door, it was down the road. I joined it, cursing everyone in front of me before realising I had to go or risk being REALLY late for work.
I got to work and read a news alert on my phone. A bomb, possibly destined for elsewhere, had exploded early.
Nobody in the Post Office made it out.

NORVAL JOE

When they got to school there were papers everywhere like a postal bomb had gone off in the admin building. Teachers and students hurried around cleaning up the mess. Billbert joined in helping as Sabrina stood back and watched.

“What happened?” Billbert asked a teacher.

The school counselor said, “A freak windstorm blew through just as we were unloading a delivery of paper.”

Billbert turned to Sabrina. “Was that you?”

She gave him an embarrassed smile and shrugged.

Then, the counselor saw Sabrina. “Miss Hexaohos. It’s good to see you’re back. I have someone who wants to speak with you.”

PLANET Z

My phone alerts me when Amazon delivers a package, and I rush out to get it before the local porch pirates come around.
The rare times I can’t, three cameras capture the damn pirate and their license plate.
Every now and then, I’ll leave a box out there with a glitter bomb in it.
When the pirate opens the box, they’ll get blasted with skunk spray and glitter and glue.
I thought about a real bomb, but one day I mistook one of my own glitter bombs for a real package.
It took five showers to wash it all off.

Weekly Challenge #977 – Clinic

The next topic is Postal Bomb

TOM

Hope Rises

They called it the clinic. The oldest would quip it use-to-be a department store. It mattered little because the medical corporation that ran it was long gone. And nothing matching that level of business structure was present north of the golden gate. We were on our own. The handful of providers that were able to scale down to the bone and still provide had a near saintly aura about them. My wife was the pillar that held it all together. When she spoke her truth people put their faith in her judgement. With little hope in sight the clinic is.

NORVAL JOE

After they had showered, dressed, and eaten breakfast, the three headed off to school, all wearing loosely fitting hoodies and blue jeans.

When Billbert and Sabrina turned onto the street toward the school, Linoliamanda continued across toward the hospital’s outpatient clinic.

“Mandi,” Billbert called. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to see my dad. I haven’t been to school in a week. I’m sure no one’s going to miss me,” she said and continued on.

Billbert waited and watched her go until Sabrina pulled on his gray sweatshirt. “Come on Billbert. Mindi’s right. I know that I won’t miss her.”

LISA

Breaking the Ice
Valentines Day. Traditionally a romantic day for couples everywhere. Sally and Bob both liked each other but got tongue tied whenever they met so had actually never spoken. Fate intervened. It was a special day at their Doctors Surgery too – the annual Mole and Wart Removal Clinic.
Most patients were treated in the waiting room and only more intimate areas were ‘done’ in a private room. So, skin tags were removed from necks, moles from bald heads and soon only Sally and Bob remained in the waiting room. They exchanged nervous glances before Sally stammered
“D’you fancy a coffee after?”

SERENDIPIDY

It’s known simply as ‘The Clinic’
Apparently the term is supposed to normalise the place and its purpose: Promote the idea that it’s really no different to taking a trip to the fertility clinic, the hair loss clinic or any one of a myriad of other medical specialisations.
They send you an appointment, and you pop in for a quick consultation with an expert.
There’s nothing particularly intimidating, scary or unusual about that.
Except this isn’t that sort of clinic.
When you check in to this clinic, you’re not going to be checking back out again.
Anyway… welcome, to Switzerland.

LIZZIE

The toy clinic was closed. What now? The child looked at her mother with anguish. The mother knocked at the door feverishly until a light came on. What is it, we’re closed. They knew, but… and the mother pointed at her child, a broken toy cradled in her arms. OK, let’s do this. And the toy was put back together, slowly, with care. Years later, the child, now an adult, heard someone knocking feverishly. She turned the light on and opened the door. Let’s do this. Everything will be OK. And another mother, another child, another toy could breathe again.

RICHARD

— Sample —
The call to come in to the clinic was unexpected. I had no idea why I was there because there were a range of problems I’d been seeing my doctor about for the past few months.
It must be connected with one of them, but the question was, what exactly?
Too busy to talk, a nurse ushered me into a room, thrust a plastic pot into my hand and told me to leave my sample at reception, then rushed off.
A sample? Of what? Urine, sperm, saliva, stool?
I filled the pot with the dregs of my coffee, and left.

PLANET Z

My doctor can be hard to set an appointment for sometimes, so I walk into the nearby urgent care clinic for minor things.
In and out, McHospital to the rescue.
My cat chewed up my leg and hand, and I was given antibiotics.
My fireplace rained soot into my eye, and I got eye drops and a tube of goop to wash it out.
Then there was the time I had chest pains.
They hooked me to an EKG and said my heart was fine, it was just a pinched nerve.
A pocket full of pills and a heating pad.

Weekly Challenge #976 – It’s Me

The next topic is Clinic

LISA

The Carer
“It’s me!” I hear after a rattle of the key in my lock.
It doesn’t tell me much does it? An endless troupe of people through my door. I wouldn’t mind if they were just here to chat but they feed me too and it seems like an invasion.
They open my curtains when I want to sleep. Make me tea when I don’t feel thirsty. Bathe me when I’d rather not be naked in front of a stranger.
“It’s me!” They say it again as they fill my kettle. A woman’s voice. “Mum, can you hear me? It’s me…”

RICHARD

— It’s me —
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Well tell me something I didn’t know! And it doesn’t exactly make me feel any better about breaking up!
Of course it was her. She’d never made any effort in our relationship, leaving me to work my butt off to try and make it succeed.
Now she wanted to end it, finally admitting she was at fault.
“I’m sorry.” I said. “But I’m not prepared to lose you. You really think that you’re in charge… but, it’s not you, it’s me!”
She protested of course, but it didn’t stop me handcuffing her to the radiator.

LIZZIE

It’s me. I’m the one who wrote that. When you look at me, you’ll know what it’s like to be me. But you don’t look. You don’t. You’re inside yourself in a world of fantasy that exists only in your head. A chosen blindness that makes everything collapse. But you’re not worried. No. You prefer it this way. You are you, and everyone else is not real. So, when you look in the mirror, you will pretend to find out what it’s like to be me, and I’ll say “that is me”. But you won’t know, and you won’t care.

TOM

Shibboleth

It’s me! Cried Benny. Silence. “Come on Rudy open the gate.” A slot appeared in the door and a note poked out. Benny read it. “I don’t remember the password. We change the password all the time.” Silence. “OK cupcake-tornado. Silence. A second note appear. “What do you mean last week?” It’s me, Rudy, your brother-in law. Silence. A third note appeared. Benny crumpled the paper. “I have no idea who Linda’s second grade teach was.” The sun was dipping into the horizon, not a good time to be in Zombie Ally. Benny slid a 100-pound note under the door.

SERENDIPIDY

That noise you hear in the dead of night, all cosy in your bed. The noise that stirs you into sweaty wakefulness, confused and fearful as you strain to hear, wondering if it’s just your imagination, or if somebody else really is in the house.
That’s answered soon enough, when you hear the slow, muffled drag of footsteps along the hallway, the creak of the loose floorboard outside your bedroom door.
With horror, you stare as the doorknob slowly turns, the sweat on your brow turning cold, the fear building into terror.
The door swings open.
I’m here.
It’s me!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert woke to someone shaking his foot and shouted in surprise.

“Billbert. Calm down. It’s me, Dad. Your mother had to go to work early, and you kids need to get up and go to school.”
Linoliamanda rubbed her eyes. “I don’t have any clean clothes.”

Sabrina glared at Billbert when he said, “Mom bought Sabrina tons of new clothes yesterday. I’m sure you can use some of them.”

Sabrina shook her head. “She’s too skinny for my clothes.”

Linoliamanda glared at the other girl. “I’m not that skinny!”

Sabrina looked Linoliamanda up and down. “Well, parts of you are.”

PLANET Z

Back in grade school, regular milk was five cents, chocolate milk was six.
My mother would give my brother a dime and tell him to buy a regular milk for each of us.
Instead, he bought chocolate milk, pocketed the change, and threatened to beat the shit out of me if I said anything.
I would steal nickels and pennies from my father’s coin collection, which I got beaten for.
Then I said why. And my brother got beaten.
Which got me beaten again.
I keep a jar of spare change, and I shake it to clear the memories away.

Weekly Challenge #975 – PICK TWO Silly hat, Brave, The old classic, Challenge, Passed out, Visual

The next topic is It’s me

RICHARD

— Some bad hat —
You had be to either brave or stupid to go out in public wearing it.
It’s not so much the style or design making it inappropriate, or that hats aren’t my thing – I quite like them, really.
Neither is it because it’s a baseball cap… which I’ve always considered ridiculous on anyone no longer a teenager.
It’s the slogan printed on it that makes it a silly hat. If not a downright problematic one.
But, it was a gift from my mum.
And I’d have to be even braver or more stupid not to wear it, knowing she might find out!

LIZZIE

Hot chocolate for 25 cents. Silly hats get an extra free cup. And everyone made an effort. There were hats with books, hats with colorful feathers, hats with numbers, hats with beautiful flowers. But hers was the winning hat. It had happy chirping birds. At first, people thought the birds were tied to the hat. But they weren’t! They were just sitting on it. And they weren’t afraid either. How did you do it, people asked, mesmerized. She just walked around, sipping her extra cup of chocolate slowly and smiling. Animals know. They just know. A smile can do wonders!

TOM

Careful
Tommy wore a brave silly hat. It was made of paper and cotton and
things. It was kind-a pointed and kind-a round. Some thought it well …
silly, others were impressed with the absolute conviction of his choice
to place it on his head while carrying out his daily duties. Later in
life he joined the order and rose rapidly in its ranks. Each level he
reached was met with different silly hat. When Tommy was chosen Pope, he
was given his last brave silly hat. What everyone was not ready for was
the new pope’s name. Judas the first.

SERENDIPIDY

It wouldn’t be long before he passed out, his body was fighting the drugs, but the challenge would eventually prove too much. It was simply a matter of time.
Not that I was about to hang around until he lost consciousness. I had things to do: I had a children’s party to arrange, and shopping to do, and the drugs would do their job, without me being around.
Later, when I returned, and before the kids started to arrive, I’d get to work on preparing the party games.
And he, would make the best game of Operation, they’d ever played!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert turned the TV to the nature channel, hoping the girls would soon get bored and go off to bed. Neither was willing to give up her claim before the other and eventually the two girls fell fast asleep. Feeling it was too much of a challenge to slip out without waking them, he settled in for the night. He would have to brave his parents’ reaction when they found them in the morning, looking like they had all passed out on the couch. Billbert drifted off to a documentary about a lion and his lionesses on the African savanna.

PLANET Z

Every time the teacher called on Billy, he’d pass out and fall on the floor.
He passed out a lot.
The school nurse thought there was a serious problem, but Billy’s parents were Christian Scientists and vegans.
Instead of going to a doctor, they prayed over Billy.
In the end, they prayed over his grave.
The autopsy showed that Billy had severe malnutrition and other developmental problems that could have been easily resolved by adjusting his diet.
Charged with child abuse and murder, the courtroom became a circus.
Freedom of religion, their lawyers said.
At least they never had another kid.

Weekly Challenge #974 – Thousand

The next topic is PICK TWO Silly hat, Brave, The old classic, Challenge, Passed out, Visual

RICHARD

“Hey! My latest post got a thousand likes”
I cast Bob a look of deep derision.
“Mate, that’s nothing. Personally, if I get anything less than a million, I consider it a failure.”
Bob’s face fell, “I don’t know how you do it” he said, “how many did your last post get?”
I thumbed through the screen until I found it, “Two point eight mil… not bad!”
He shrugged.
I gave him a friendly nudge, “Don’t worry mate, you’ll get there one day.”
I doubted it though, as I fired up the bot, gaining another ten thousand likes in seconds.

LIZZIE

Santa was furious. He had finished his route and there were still a thousand gifts in his sleigh. Who messed up? Santa paced left and right, as red as his outfit, throwing his hands in the air. What are the kids going to say? And the parents? They relied on him to deliver the right gifts to the right addresses. The ranting continued on and on until one of the elves whispered “They are for you from us all.” Santa was speechless. He was used to cookies and milk, not real gifts and so beautifully wrapped too! So, he smiled.

LISA

The Secret to a Stress Free Christmas Supermarket Shop
‘Twas the weekend before Christmas and the supermarket felt post-apocalyptic: people grabbing food, shouting: it took a thousand years just to get down one aisle.
A tinny tannoy played ‘I wish it could be Christmas Every Day’.
I shopped and joined a queue: thankfully it didn’t seem long ‘til I reached the conveyer belt. The joy to be unloading my shopping was crushed when I realized I’d forgotten the fucking turkey. I ran back to discover, of course, they’d all gone. Back at the checkout so had my shopping: someone pretending it was theirs had simply paid and left.

SERENDIPIDY

I was in trouble again.
Everybody else left, and I was alone with teacher. He beckoned me over to his desk, shaking his head.
“Well, you’ve done it again. You’ve let your classmates down, you’ve let me down, but – most of all – you’ve let yourself down. What do you have to say for yourself?”
I remained obstinately silent.
“OK, if that’s how you want to play it. Detention tonight, and a thousand lines: ‘I must not bring knives to school, and I will never do it again.'”
He was right.
I wouldn’t do it again.
Tomorrow, I’d bring a gun.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert had just put on his pajamas when there was a knock at the door.

Sabrina stood in the hallway and Linoliamanda watched from the guest room doorway.

“I’ve told myself a thousand times today that I wasn’t going to bother you, but can I sit by your bed?”

Billbert sighed. “Let’s go downstairs.”

When Sabrina sat next to Billbert and took his hand, Linoliamanda sat on the other side and hugged his arm.

With a girl on one side in lace-edged satin, and the other in velvety cats, Billbert wondered how he had gotten into such a wonderful pickle.

TOM

It was a depression thing.

When my Grandma died we had to go through a mountain stuff. We had to look through every book and magazine because she would slip different amount of money or stocks for ATnT between the pages. After major stiffing a patter emerged. Page numbers match bill denomination. In one book of old German fairy-tales I turn to page one thousand. There staring back at me was Grover Cleveland. It was in mint condition. The bill was a Gold Certificate a yellow boy. Somehow it had escaped Presidential Proclamation 2039 Executive Order 6073 and Executive Order 6102.Grandma was pretty shrewd.

TURA

Thousand
———
The one thousandth Christian, legend has it, was one Simon of Alessos. A year after the crucifixion, he chanced upon a group of Christians preaching in the marketplace. He was so overcome with emotion that he requested baptism, whereupon a great light shone down from heaven, trumpets sounded, and a voice thundered, “Blessings upon thee, Simon, Our one thousandth convert to the True Way! Thou mayest already have won—” But Simon had fled, and lived as a hermit in the heart of the desert the rest of his days.

He is commemorated as the patron saint who protects against spam.

PLANET Z

Rickey Henderson stole over a thousand bases.
He drew hundreds of walks, racked up thousands of hits.
And had the most home runs of any leadoff hitter.
If he got on first, which he did more often than not, he would find a way to get his ass to home plate one way or another.
The dude was a scoring machine, and he knew it, and he let you know.
Holding that golden base over his head, calling himself the greatest ever.
Make the bases as big as mattresses. Ban pitchouts.
It doesn’t matter. Nobody will be better than Rickey.

Weekly Challenge #973 – Gift Cards

The next topic is Thousand

LISA

A Born Showman.
The Star sobbed: she’d wanted to play Mary. So, the spotlight shone on three kings… One shuffled forward and muttered “Gold.” The next stepped forward and shuddered as he tried to keep giggles at bay.
“Frankie’s Sense.” He nudged Frankie who was playing Joseph. Then, the third King.
“I couldn’t find Myrrh. No one anywhere seemed to know what it was.” he said as he moonwalked across the stage.
“So, I got this.”
His hand held aloft; the spotlight swung towards it.
“This…”
He sashayed around the crib
“This Gift Card can be used in every major retailer in Bethlehem.”

NORVAL JOE

When they entered Billbert’s house they found Sabrina in the family room surrounded by shopping bags. She looked up, her eyes bright. “Look Billbert. We bought so many clothes they gave us a $25 gift card.” Her eyes clouded over when she saw Linoliamanda. “What’s she doing here?”

Defensive, Billbert said, “Mandy’s dad’s in a coma and they don’t know when he will wake up. So, I said she could stay here. There are two beds in the guest room, you know.”

Sabrina sighed, holding up a lacy sleep set. “Beggars can’t be choosers. She can wear the cat pajamas.”

SERENDIPIDY

I turned over the next card in the sequence, the six of pentacles.
“Ah”, I murmured, “the gift card”.
His face lit up in expectation as I continued.
“It seems you may receive something of value in the future; I cannot say what that may be, but it could make you a very wealthy man!”
“Tell me more” he begged.
“First, cross my palm with silver… plenty of silver!”
He anxiously paid up, and I turned the next card, which elicited a gasp.
“Death! How unfortunate. Let’s hope your gift comes soon, and you live long enough to enjoy it!”

RICHARD

— Gift card —
It was the usual pointless question.
“So what do you want for Christmas?”
Every year the same irritating question, and my answer, the same as always: “I don’t know. There’s nothing I want or need.”
It drew the usual, predictable response. “You’re hopeless dad, at least give us some ideas.”
“Just get me a gift card then.”
And so, come Christmas Day, that’s exactly what I got: A gift card, just like last year, and the year before that, as far back as I can remember.
And, as always, it ended up unused in the drawer with all the others.

TOM

That is remembered lives.

Gail was Linda’s matron of honor. As a courtesy I volunteer to take wedding photos. The groom, Jack Darkhand, gave me an Amazon Gift Card. Never cashed it in. Lived in my wallet till my wallet was stolen. While I still retained ownership, for time to time I’d take it out and give it a look. Did that for his first child, then his second. Did that when he got sacked from a tech job in Seattle for have XY chroms. Took it out during his wake. Show it to Linda, told her I think I’m just going to keep this.

LIZZIE

She loved adventure! She hated books. But the damn gift card said “Books”. At the bookstore, she looked lost. So, the bookseller said, “We have some mystery packs.” Well, OK… “A mystery pack, it is.” When she opened the pack, it was… let’s just say a surprising pack. You had to call a series of phone numbers to get the pick-up locations. The first one was called “Whispers Among the Gravestones” and the pick-up point was the local abandoned cemetery. Who would’ve thought that books could be so interesting after all? She would take some pepper spray, just in case.

PLANET Z

I always thought it strange when my father would give out store gift cards as tips instead of cash.
Until I saw him grabbing a stack of them at Target and putting them in his pocket.
Without activating them at the register.
Technically, it’s not illegal to hand them out.
Maybe it’s a form of fraud if he’s claiming they have value.
He did this for years, handing out worthless cards.
After I grew up and moved out, and he got forgetful, he did this scam at the same place more than once.
And no restaurant would seat him again.

Weekly Challenge #972 – Mister Right

The next topic is Gift Card

LIZZIE

Mr. Right lived in the lighthouse across the street. The place was hideous and no one ever visited it. Mr. Right was the typical know-it-all. When proven wrong, he’d blatantly lie. Everyone hated him, everyone except his neighbor who’d often ask to see the gallery because, as he said, “he enjoyed the fresh air”. And he tried, he tried many times. Mr. Right knew the neighbor wanted the lighthouse. Some plan to increase the flow of tourists and become the mayor. It turned out, Mr. Right wasn’t Mr. Stupid so he never stood alone on that balcony with Mr. Ambitious.

RICHARD

– Mister Right –
She peered at me critically over the top of her horn-rimmed glasses.
“It’s Mister, right?”
I was confused.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.”
She sat back and sighed, folding her arms.
“Your personal pronouns! You need to tell me how to address you. I’ve learned the hard way not to make assumptions!”
“Ah, right”, I nodded, “yes, it’s Mister. Mister is just fine.”
She turned back to her keyboard, and tapped a few keys. “We’re done.”
I stood up, and glanced at her name badge, “Well, thank you, Miss Philpot.”
“It’s Mister!” She snapped, with a frown.

TOM

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Men are searching the world for the perfect woman. Women not so much, with a choice between the perfect haircut or the perfect Mr. Right, you known in your heart, a reasonable quaff, wins hands down. It would be great if Mr. Right was a hairdresser, not likely. Wasn’t that the central plot of the film Shampoo. Let’s get back to that perfect Mr. Right crossing the globe in search of Miss Right, as always, don’t rule out Mrs. Right. Hell it’s American, it’s what we do. The weary Mr. Right will wander before her without her taking a step.

NORVAL JOE

Walking along the dark street, Linoliamanda suddenly asked, “Why were you staring at those teenage volunteers?”

Not realizing she had noticed, he stammered, “Well. I guess I was thinking. Those girls are so pretty, they would never notice a scrawny kid like me.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked.

Then he really stammered, “Um. Yeah. Sure. Why?”

“Daddy’s older than Mother and he said he’s amazed that Mother would love an ugly old man like him. And she says, she always knew he was Mr. Right.” Linoliamnada stopped Billbert. “The right girl will always love you, no matter what.”

SERENDIPIDY

He always had to be Mr Right.
Always holding the moral high ground, always the one to win an argument, never one to back down or give way.
He was arrogant, uncompromising and incapable of admitting defeat.
It was these qualities that attracted me to him.
Don’t misunderstand me; it wasn’t that I like those sort of character traits – no, I loathe them with a passion, but he was precisely the sort of person that I love to put firmly in their place.
And that place, was six feet underground.
You really can’t say I was in the wrong.
Right?

PLANET Z

Every time we come across a mass grave, we excavate the site and sort out the bodies.
The few with identification, we send to the agents to contact any remaining family for handling and burial.
The many without, we take DNA samples and cross-reference genetic markers with genealogy databases.
Most families ended up in the same mass graves, so there’s a lot of dead ends.
There’s not much money and jewelry left to loot. The regime cleaned them out pretty thoroughly.
After all is said and done, we put the bodies back in the site and place a stone monument.

Weekly Challenge #971 – Arrested

The next topic is Mister Right

LISA

A New Lead
“Come, look through the window. The curtains are pulled they won’t see you… just peep through the gap.”
A portable TV. Black and White. The picture is fuzzy and keeps rolling.
“Police in Wiltshire have today arrested a man in connection with the disappearance of Katy Creasy.” It’s so loud we hear it from outside.
A school photo appears on the screen.
“Come forward, can you see?” Katy is there at a table; she’s sobbing silently and a man leans forward to wipe away her tears and laughs. He laughs loud enough to drown out the sound of the TV.

LIZZIE

“He was arrested for playing awful music on the freaking harp.”
“What’s that?”
“Crappy music?”
“No. That word…”
“Harp?”
“Yes.”
“It’s that musical instrument!”
“Ah. What happened to the harp?”
“What do you mean?”
“He was arrested. And the harp?”
“How do I know what happened to the harp?!”
“Was it a big harp or a small harp?”
“It was an I-don’t-care-harp.” ”
“Testy, just asking.”
“I’ll have to bond him out.”
“Why?”
“OMG, have you been paying attention to anything at all? The gold is in the harp.”
“Now I’m confused, how can that be an I-don’t-care-harp then?”
“OK, bye.”

RICHARD

Innocent?
It was all a bit of a shock.
I was minding my own business, watching TV with a nice hot cup of tea when they kicked the door in.
Next thing I know, I’m in handcuffs, being bundled into the back of a police van, with all the neighbours looking on with interest.
Arrested.
And I had no idea why.
Of course, I protested my innocence, but they wouldn’t have it, not until the Superintendent turned up, to inform them they were supposed to raid the house at number one, The Avenue.
I’m number ten, but the zero fell off!

SERENDIPIDY

I don’t really like to think of it as ending a life.
Oh, I know that’s exactly what it is, whether you call it murder, assassination or plain and simple killing, but personally, I don’t think those words adequately express the fullness of what I do.
Snuffing out a life in its prime is more than just a simple ending: It’s denying someone of their future and their potential. Those things they might have done and achieved, will now never happen. The difference they could have made to the world is forever lost.
So, I prefer the term…
Arrested development.

NORVAL JOE

“Mother. I want to see Daddy,” Linoliamanda begged.

Her mother blinked back tears. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. These are their rules. I’m sure he’s in good hands and I’ll have him call you as soon as he wakes up.”

Billbert tipped his head toward the exit. “Come on, Mandy. I know the ICU staff from personal experience. If you step on the wrong nurse’s toes, they might try to have you arrested. It’s late. Let’s walk to my house and I can ask my mom to make us something to eat.”

Her chin quivering, Linoliamanda hugged her mother before following Billbert.

TOM

Kid have you rehabilitated yourself.

My first year in high school was in 1969. Lot of stuff was fraying at the edge of society. Into this mix came the Album Alice’s Restaurant. Central theme of the whole side of the record was wound about our hero getting arrested for dumping garbage. In terms of the narrative arch this landing point was theater of the absurd. It didn’t stop there. By the end of the song the question lay at: are you moral enough to kill mothers and babies after littering. Five years later the war was no less absurd and arrested was still a question.

PLANET Z

Rico wasn’t the only dealer in school, but he had the best stuff at great prices.
And he didn’t stab anyone, unlike Julio and Manuel.
We all knew his story about coming from LA was bullshit.
So, it wasn’t a surprise when he disappeared from school along with a dozen kids.
Jessie saw cops at Rico’s house and others.
And none of them came back that year, or the next.
Which was great for me, because I filled the void.
I had enough for State, but as long as the border’s closed, Yale and Princeton are in my budget now.

Weekly Challenge #970 – PICK TWO Scorpion, Walking on eggshells, Turn, High pitched, News, Craftsmanship

The next topic is Arrested

TURA

Walking on eggshells; Scorpion

———

To test an aspiring ninja, the floor of a corridor is covered with eggshell halves glued in place, a live scorpion under each one. The candidate must traverse the corridor naked.

Some really can walk on the eggshells without breaking them. Some leap from wall to wall, never touching the floor. Some cling to the roof beams. And of course, some fail.

I trained for months running on hot gravel to harden my soles, then marched straight down the corridor, trampling eggshells and scorpions alike.

They grudgingly passed me, but next year, they replaced the scorpions by razor-sharp, poisoned caltrops.

LIZZIE

It was on the news. They had finally killed him. A candle was lit in a memorial of sorts by the people, just in case. The Scorpion wasn’t happy. When he blew out the candle, no one reacted. It was the wind, they thought. But when he kicked the memorial setup, everyone scattered. Respect, he thought, respect. He was THE Scorpion after all. The kicking seemed to work. So, he kicked a trashcan nearby but the damn thing hit him on the face. A few kids started laughing. The nerve. Being a ghost is such a difficult thing these days.

RICHARD

– Sting in the tail –
A sudden, high pitched scream came from the kitchen.
‘Oh dear, maybe I should have warned her’, I thought, getting up to investigate.
“Just what is that?” she hissed, pointing at the box on the kitchen table.
“It’s a box”, I responded.
“And, what’s that inside the box?”
I sighed, “It’s a scorpion”.
This was obviously not explanation enough, so I forged ahead…
“I thought I’d have a go at keeping unusual pets, and you have to admit he’s a bit unusual!”
She remained unimpressed. “But, why a scorpion, of all things?”
I smiled wickedly. “It reminded me of you!”

TOM

I’m waking on eggshells, don’t that feel fine.

Welcome to 2345 Walking on Eggshells Championship. The news in this year’s completion is the addition of Microsoft Scorpions. After the commissioner allowed electric alligators, it only seems sporting to include semi-venomous insects. Also of note is the craftsmanship of the eggs themselves have been turned over the Blue People’s Republic of China who breed the last surviving chicken. Despite high pitched warning at the Texas Chicken Ranch their clucker was kill crossing the road. Eyewitness state I appear he was trying to get to the other-side. Let’s turn it over to Durant Durant on the field of broken dreams.

LISA

A Robin’s Egg
The crows circling overhead were so loud she didn’t hear the crunch as she walked but she felt the broken shell underfoot, a different sensation after the soft pad of moss.
A brief glimpse was all it took to recognise a robin’s egg. Its contents had probably been a foxes breakfast. She scooped up the delicate pieces and dropped them onto a horse chestnut leaf in her basket.
Later, after drying them on a windowsill she ground them to a fine powder: the robin brought news from the other side and this shell would be well used in many potions.

SERENDIPIDY

I thought I’d give woodworking a try as a new hobby, so I bought myself a lathe and some tools.
To my surprise, learning how to turn wood wasn’t at all difficult, and I very quickly became something of an expert at the craft.
Take a look at my latest creation: Now, that’s craftsmanship. A beautifully balanced, and absolutely gorgeously proportioned maple baseball bat.
It almost seems a shame to stud it with nails and shroud it in razor wire, although that’s a necessary evil.
Only then will it be fit for purpose.
Can I try it out on you?

NORVAL JOE

For hours, every time a patient was called back, Mrs. Withybottom stood, walked to the admission counter to glare at the nurse, turn and come back to her chair.

Linoliamanda patted her mother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Mother. There has to be some news soon.”

A doctor in green scrubs approached. “Mrs. Withybottom. I’m Dr. Netheregions, the attending physician. Your husband is in an induced coma as we try to reduce the pressure on his brain from bleeding. He has been moved to the ICU. You can see him now, but I’m sorry to say, children under 16 are not allowed.”

ROSE

Jason crawled to the kitchen to keep his back from scraping the ceiling. He knew he was too tall, and that it was unlikely he would find a place comfortable for him – too expensive. He picked up an egg, careful of the way it distorted when rotated as he cracked it over a thin frying pan.

The Y-axis compression reached 300%, but thankfully it stopped there. How and why the error had occurred was lost to time now. Jason only wished the safeguards keeping humans from shrinking applied to the environments. Or maybe that they weren’t there at all.

PLANET Z

Usually I trim my nails down every few days, but now and then I let them grow for a week or two.
Seeing the white ends is strange to me.
How my fingertips feel when I scratch my nose or type on a keyboard.
Scraping a bit of food from a tooth.
I try to be careful when I trim them.
Half my life, I’ve had to bandage a fingertip because of an infection on one side or the other.
Squeezing it out, washing it out, wrapping it up.
And the not-so-gentile reminder every time I type and feel it.