Category: Weekly Challenge

Weekly Challenge #1004 – Snot

The next topic is PICK TWO Display, Poem, Background music, 158, Rockfall

RICHARD

— Loser —
I sighed inwardly when the lad walked in, another no-hoper, without prospects.
“Well boy, I understand Miss Jones has thrown you out of art class again. What do you say for yourself?”
“Sorry sir” the boy sniffed, then used his sleeve to wipe the snot from his nose, “I just don’t like art… or sport.”
I rubbed my eyes wearily.
“So, what do you like?”
“Computers, sir.”
Computer games, more like, I thought to myself.
“Well, buck up your ideas, and forget the computers, lad. Detention!
And, I don’t want to see you in my office again, William Gates!”

TOM

Take this Marcel Prouse
I had a childhood friend whom at a very early age had become a superior
wordsmith. He often said the following: Snot bad. If you are 10 years
old this is the height to refined wit. I have not thought about that pun
in 40 years. Fun how stuff lies dormant in your memory. While reflecting
on the lazy summer day we hung out a quip floated back. Don’t go
straight, go forward. It was dawn of the age of hippies when straight
meant married, kids, working in the steel mill. Get the split-level
house in the burbs. Snot bad?

LISA

A Dentist with a Difference
Sam’s newly qualified as a dentist and full of fresh ideas to allay fears of his profession. One of them: to call himself an oral technician. He’s just picking up his new van from the sign writer- he‘s asked for highly decorative initial letters in shades of fresh greens for his fresh new venture.
A mobile dentist. It’s the future. He’s documented his journey on social media and goes live as he collects the van. He zooms in on SNOT Sam Neil Oral Technician and goes viral with the post before he’s tempted anyone into the back of his van.

SERENDIPIDY

“Drowned in snot!”
Inspector Mulligan grimaced, “Rather an unpleasant way to meet your maker. What do we know about the victim?”
Officer Jenkins consulted his notebook. “Works in McDonalds, Sir. It’s the premises downstairs. We don’t know who owns this floor though, or what he was doing here.”
“Or, why there’s a huge vat full of snot up here”, mused Mulligan.
“Well, none of it makes sense. Best get the lads up to remove the body”
“Oh, and while you’re at it, did you say there’s a Maccy D’s downstairs? Grab me one of those extra thick shakes, would you?”

NORVAL JOE

Mandi flowed with the rest of the student traffic to her first period class.

Behind her she heard, “Look. That stuck up snot is finally back in school.”

Mandi kept walking, until the girl said, “Yeah you, Leemoldia. We’re talking about you.”

Mandi turned around to find three girls, two her height, and one redhead, who was much taller. At first, she thought the redhead was a teacher—she was as tall as most, and well built. But then she roughly pushed the other two away.

“Get lost, you two,” she snarled. “I need to have a word with Mandi.”

PLANET Z

I contracted for a company that ran raffles at holiday parties where there were more prizes than partygoers. Everybody came away with cool shit. Not coffee mugs or shirts, but televisions. And everybody got a lava lamp. As a contractor, I wasn’t invited, and the fulltimers would taunt me over it. So I’d nope out and take time off and they’d be up shit creek in a day or two, and beg me to come back and I’d say sure, for all your lava lamps. And I blew the fuse to my closet of an office plugging them all in.

Weekly Challenge #1003 – Pawn

The next topic is Snot

RICHARD

Grandpa

When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He’d started small as a young man, and over the years, he’d created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in.

He was an expert at valuations – or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass.

You’d never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting.

And, when he retired, he gleefully shocked all the ladies at the retirement home, telling them that he’d spent his whole life as a pawn actor!

TOM

Grandpa

When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He’d started small as a young man, and over the years, he’d created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in.

He was an expert at valuations – or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass.

You’d never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting.

And, when he retired, he gleefully shocked all the ladies at the retirement home, telling them that he’d spent his whole life as a pawn actor!

LISA

We’re not just end of the month poor but nothing left to pawn poor and currently checking down the sofa, at the bottom of bags and in coat pockets for change. We scrape together a pound made up of 24 coins. Deciding it’s our lucky day we buy a scratchcard and win a pound. It’s tense as the winning card is swapped for another. With everything scratched but one tiny square we could win £100 or £100,000 or lose and stay hungry. The penultimate scrape takes off half the silver to reveal a pound sign, a one and two noughts…

SERENDIPIDY

Grandpa

When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He’d started small as a young man, and over the years, he’d created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in.

He was an expert at valuations – or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass.

You’d never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting.

And, when he retired, he gleefully shocked all the ladies at the retirement home, telling them that he’d spent his whole life as a pawn actor!

NORVAL JOE

Grandpa

When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He’d started small as a young man, and over the years, he’d created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in.

He was an expert at valuations – or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass.

You’d never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting.

And, when he retired, he gleefully shocked all the ladies at the retirement home, telling them that he’d spent his whole life as a pawn actor!

PLANET Z

Grandpa

When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He’d started small as a young man, and over the years, he’d created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in.

He was an expert at valuations – or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass.

You’d never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting.

And, when he retired, he gleefully shocked all the ladies at the retirement home, telling them that he’d spent his whole life as a pawn actor!

Weekly Challenge #1002 – You’re not going

The next topic is Pawn

RICHARD

— Something blue —
“You’re not going.”
She meant it. No negotiating. Mind made up.
Still, there was no way I was going down without a fight. I was determined to make a stand.
“C’mon” I pleaded, “it’s a one-off. I won’t get another shot at it. Surely I deserve one. Please?”
It didn’t work.
“No! You’ll spend the night gawking at strippers, get blind drunk and end up naked, tied to a lamppost at the other end of the country! I know what stag nights are like!”
“OK” I countered “then, I guess there’s somewhere else I won’t be going…”
“Our wedding!”

TOM

1001

All things pass through Chicago

Since we’ve passed into a new millennium, seems fitting to regalia all with a story at the dawn of podcasting. When I was doing seven podcasts a week, one of them was interviewing podcast authors. Emboldened by its success and at this point running out of authors I reached out to the author of the sci-fi novel The Sparrow. Mary Russell kindly set aside her morning to talk. I Asked a few questions no one had ever asked her about her work. About caring capacity. When the interview was over she send me limited edition of her book.

1002

Your not going home again.

Phil had worked for the college for 25 years. You would’ve thunk they would have gotten him a gold watch, a service pin, at the least a go away party. Nada, zip, zilch. Phil was cool about it. He would say when its time to go, better go. All the same some place with pull at your memories, such was the tiny college under the oaks. So on random Friday Phil walked the campus. He was pretty much ignored by even former coworkers. Its like Thomas Wolfe say you can’t go home again.

LISA

Short Tale about a short Skirt
Picture the scene. It’s 1986 and there’s a roller disco at the weekend. Wars have taken less planning. We’ve chatted about outfits for weeks. It’s been decided that everyone will get ready at mine & we’ll get the bus from there.
On the night Dad shouts ‘You’re not going out like that!’ from his comfy armchair. I’m equally humiliated and pleased. I say I’ll change. I know I must look amazing. It becomes a useful gauge – if Dad approves of the outfit I know it isn’t working. In time I become an expert at getting changed in small toilet cubicles.

SERENDIPIDY

I see you quivering in the corner, terror written in your eyes.
Both you and I know this can only end one way, and it’s not going to go well for you.
It never would: that’s the way the world works, and we both know that the odds are overwhelmingly in my favour.
It’s just a matter of time before I get bored, and you become paralysed with fear. And then, I make my move.
I’ll pin you down, my claws piercing your flesh, then move in for the kill.
Cat and mouse.
And, little mouse, you’re not going anywhere.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert turned to face the sound of approaching steps. Before he could make out who approached in the darkness, he heard from behind, “You’re not going anywhere.”

Like a gorilla had grabbed him by the neck, a jolt suddenly shook him before he lost consciousness.

The following morning, Mandi walked into the kitchen. “Mrs. Weinerheimer. I think Billbert is gone.”

Billbert’s mother put a hand to her heart and asked, “What makes you say that?”

She shrugged. “I went to ask him a question last night and he wasn’t in bed. This morning, I checked again and he’s not there.”

PLANET Z

Back in school, my mother would never sign permissions slips for fieldtrips.
“You’re being punished,” she said.
But she never said for what.
My friend Bobby faked her signature.
“There,” he said. “Problem solved.”
Except that my mother had called the school to make sure I didn’t go.
At least when I was being beaten for it, I knew what I was being punished for.
Years later, I pushed her wheelchair up to the zoo entrance.
“Ticket for one,” I said.
And I told her “Just for me. Because you’re being punished.”
And I left her at the zoo entrance.

Weekly Challenge #1001 – PICK TWO The sparrow, Waveform, Limited edition, Ouroboros, Broken glass

The next topic is You’re not going

RICHARD

— Glen Talnara —
Sometimes you have to treat yourself, even if it means being extravagant. Everyone deserves to feel special every now and again.
My treat? A forty year old, limited edition single malt.
Lovingly distilled on a remote Scottish island, following a family tradition, centuries old.
It wasn’t cheap. Actually, it was eye- wateringly expensive, but I felt I deserved it.
I was out the day it was delivered.
UPS left a card.
They also tossed the box over my eight -foot fence, where it landed on a pile of rubble.
So, no whisky for me, just a box of broken glass.

LISA

The Start of a Not Normal Day
It felt like the outside was inside and everyone was in a temper. Glass glittered the carpet and Dad was looking for someone to blame. We were shouted at to keep back but the cat didn’t listen and ran through the shards. The glass had gone into my brother’s school shoes.
A speck of blood from the cat’s paw painted red on the carpet. I wanted my breakfast but I didn’t dare say. Dad had something else to shout about as the cat dragged a half alive sparrow from behind the TV.
We were going to be late for school.

LIZZIE

Sparrow, a limited edition of dolls, had everything but sparrows, the symbol of protection and hope. A doll house, doll furniture, doll-everything. It looked dark and gloomy. An adult now, his sister still loved dolls, the pink kind. He hated his sister. When he gifted Sparrow to her, she loved it. Well, that didn’t work, he thought. So, he got another doll, wrapped in a white shawl, a reminder that even when you’re trying to get revenge, there is always a glimmer of hope. OK, great, now he wanted to destroy the damn thing. He smiled. Perhaps that would work!

SERENDIPIDY

Isn’t the birdsong lovely?
Most would agree, but not I.
You see, birdsong is by no means cheerful or joyous. In reality, it is bleak and despairing.
The sparrow sings of pain and anguish, of death and destruction, of such sorrow it would break your heart.
The songthrush sings of shattered dreams, like broken glass shards, harsh and piercing.
The robin, mourns each passing day, cursing life and its misfortunes.
Songs of woe, of loss and melancholy.
But, not the crow.
The crow’s harsh cawing is a joyful, happy sound.
He’s laughing at all the other birds, poor, sad things!

NORVAL JOE

Peering through the broken glass of the small window, Billbert saw that Sabrina was blindfolded and gagged, and wore oversized coveralls with the arms wrapped around and tied in front of her like an ouroboros.

A dot of red light appeared beside Sabrina. A laptop computer sat on a table next to her. Its webcam had just come on. Were her captors in another room watching Sabrina from a distance or was the camera aimed at the window, watching him?

The back porch door burst open and feet pounded down the wooden stairs. Billbert had the answer to his question.

PLANET Z

I don’t know why I collect Pez dispensers, but my closet has dozens of bins of them. They’re all kinds of different designs and colors and characters. If I get one from a series, I have to complete the whole set. I used to have them out on shelves to display. But after we moved, I haven’t taken them out of the bins yet. There’s one that was a limited edition Tiffany glass dispenser, but I think it got broken in the move. So instead, I’ll probably put my Millard Fillmore dispenser on the lit rotating stand on the shelf.

Weekly Challenge #1000 – Narrow

The next topic is PICK TWO The sparrow, Waveform, Limited edition, Ouroboros, Broken glass

RICHARD

— Narrow —
As things go, it was a pretty narrow requirement, some would say overly-restrictive and limiting.
I guess that was the point, really.
It’ll never work, I thought. It’s not sustainable, people aren’t going to like it, and it’s not something I could ever imagine having any real longevity.
I’d give it a few months, maybe a couple of years, at best.
Still, nothing wrong with giving it a shot – what was there to lose?
Anyway, I was wrong.
But, to keep a long story short, I’m sticking to the formula.
I’ll leave it right there, and keep it brief.

LISA

The Straight and Narrow
There was a pleasing symmetry to the fact that it was Michael’s first day at the job centre and Peter’s first day out of prison. They looked equally uncomfortable as they sat either side of the desk. Meanwhile gossip spread round the office quicker than blood on lino.
Michael was oblivious and asked “What experience do you have?” before checking his computer. “Well,” Michael didn’t flinch as he saw **MURDER CONVICTION 2001** capitalised in bold across his screen. “There’s an opening at the Abattoir?”
The office fell deadly quiet as Peter shot Michael a killer stare. “Excuse me. I’m VEGAN.”

LIZZIE

Tea, toast and UFOs. Why not? By then, UFOs were part of everyone’s lives. They had come from a planet with an unpronounceable name, waved a lot of hellos when they landed and everyone was totally smitten. How cute, how nice, how… someone ventured the word cuddly, although no one knew how that conclusion was reached and everyone preferred not to know. When the UFO exploded, everyone rushed to help. Oh… It was a different kind of UFO. Who are these now?! Well, they were certainly not cuddly. “How is your tea, and toast, sir?” The alien waved him away.

SERENDIPIDY

It’s just as well you lot aren’t narrow-minded.
After all, my stories aren’t exactly polite after-dinner conversation. They’re not particularly, fluffy, fun-filled or family-friendly.
Unless, of course, your family happens to be into murder, desecration, body fluids, cannibalism, rot and decay…
And, if that’s the case, perhaps you should invite me around for dinner sometime, and maybe we could some exchange ideas?
You could be featured in my next story!
Or, I could just report you to the cops!
Then again, there’s a good chance I might murder you gruesomely, before feasting on your warm flesh!

TOM

Not still waters

For many years we had a small home in British Columbia. It was on a rather small island wedged against a rather large island. To navigate between the two was a salt water channel named Seymour Narrows. Any one reviewing a Nautical Map would be greeted with a mass of jumbled tide lines. Dozens of reforming whirlpools. For centuries it was considered the most hazardous waters in North America. A graveyard of broke hulls. In the 1950s the largest mass of TNT in history blows a hole in Seymour Narrows. All the same pilots treat the passage with extreme care.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert went back to his room, got dressed, and pulled on his jacket. He pushed up on the wooden window frame, to slip out, but it stuck, leaving only a narrow opening. He squeezed through as quietly as possible and flew straight to the house with the van in the backyard.

The van was there with, ‘It’s a Dirty Job Septic Service’ painted on the side.

“This must be the place,” Billbert muttered and floated from window to window, looking for any sign of Sabrina.

Finally, through a basement window, he saw her, blindfolded, gagged, and chained to a chair.

PLANET Z

The font that I use the most is Arial Narrow. It’s compact, clean, and easy for me to read. In the past few years, My eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be. Other fonts like Times New Roman with its serifs look blurry at that size, even that impact font that gets used a lot with memes. For the longest time I was in denial, and I kept getting bigger monitors. Then I stopped using 4K mode so I wouldn’t embarrass myself with magnification and zoom mode. At least the text to speech button is easy to click.

Weekly Challenge #999 – Webcam

The next topic is narrow

LISA

Cleaning Up
Gordon did not trust his cleaner one bit and was desperate for a reason to sack her so put webcams up in every room hoping to catch her out.
Whilst cleaning his office she saw the feed of all the rooms on his laptop and heard Gordon on the phone to a woman that wasn’t his wife. She recorded the rest of the conversation on her phone.
The next week she found an incriminating receipt which she took to Gordon along with her recording ensuring she worked for him for the rest of his life without any bleach being involved.

RICHARD

— Cat-Cam —
The internet runs on cat videos, right?
At least, that’s what they tell me, and judging by the crazy number of clips featuring cats doing outrageous, silly and bizarre things that constantly clutter up my social media feeds it must be true.
My cat, however, just sleeps. Constantly.
So, I thought I’d rig up a webcam to see what she gets up to when I’m not around – for all I know, she might invite all the neighbourhood strays in for poker and partying!
Turns out, she doesn’t.
When I’m out of the house…
All she ever does is sleep. Constantly.

LIZZIE

The Ferris wheel was located in the middle of the park. The owners were warned. That was not safe. If an accident happened, access would be difficult, people would panic, all shown live online. The owners dismissed the warning. That’s why they had contingency plans, they said. One day, the Ferris wheel started spinning out of control. Some people were thrown off from their seats. The contingency plan was activated. It worked perfectly. What didn’t work perfectly was the lawsuit. A revolving door of lawyer after lawyer, fired. Apparently, the contingency plan didn’t include the legal side of the problem.

TOM

999 Webcam

I wonder if it would be in bad tasted to have a webcam on your tombstone? Sure, it would be kind of fun in short run and in the deep long run. But that middle part would be a bit ookie. Need a mess of solar panels to fire the thing up. Would one need speakers or would just an audio jack be sufficient. Bet if you did a YouTube channel you offset production costs. Need a hook to up engagement. RIP TV quality family entertainment. What if the eyes randomly open and shut. We’ll be here all week

SERENDIPIDY

I just got my first webcam. 4K, HD, and with a whole load of technical specs that should, hopefully, justify the ridiculous price I paid for it.
Tomorrow, I’m going to set up my Only Fans account, and then, it’s simply a case of waiting for the money to roll in.
After all, that’s what it’s all about these days, isn’t it?
Home-made porn?
Of course, I’ll be capturing something of a niche market: Weeping sores, putrefying flesh, and discoloured scar tissue aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.
But this is the internet.
I just know you can’t resist it!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert lay in his bed, unable to sleep. Sabrina was a captive somewhere close by and supposedly safe, but he could do nothing about it.

He snuck downstairs to his mother’s laptop and pulled up Google maps. He knew the intersection close to Sabrina, but not the specific house. He zoomed in and checked each backyard, not knowing exactly what he was looking for.

The light for the webcam came on.

One backyard caught his eye. Next to a carport was a van that looked remarkably similar to the shooter’s from the meadow.

The light for the webcam turned off.

PLANET Z

It’s amusing to see that political commentator guy on the news occasionally who had been caught jerking off on a department meeting over his WebCam. There are hundreds, if not, thousands of willing sycophants and blowhards that you can point a camera at and fill airtime between commercials and get people watching and snarling along, and yet they keep going back to these scumbags who have shamed themselves and exploited others. The ones that they’d be replaced with are just as vile, the only difference is that they’re far cheaper, need less makeup, and that they haven’t been caught yet.

Weekly Challenge #998 – You stink!

The next topic is webcam

LISA

Trolling Trolling Trolling
After adding a filter Sherry uploaded the photo and waited for the influx of comments and messages. She believed everything horrible posted; it was only a fresh flurry of negativity that washed the first lot away.
She counted the negative comments as they came in. Already they were up to 25 in just three minutes. As usual, she hovered over Delete Post.
Then a comment popped up “YOU STINK!”
She laughed. Knowing she HAD forgotten deodorant that morning. But how would they know? And did it matter?
It didn’t. She felt she’d turned a corner and posted happily ever after.
Thanks for organising… Hope you well

RICHARD

— Fragrant —
I could see immediately that something wasn’t quite right. It was the grimace and the way she screwed up her nose in disgust that gave it away.
“Is there something wrong” I asked, gingerly.
Frowning, she responded “I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but, honestly, you stink!”
Well, I’d say she knew exactly how to tell me what was on her mind!
“I’m sorry, it’s my job. The chemicals I have to work with…” my voice tailed off in resignation.
“No, it’s not that. It’s that bloody aftershave that you always insist on wearing. It’s absolutely foul!”

LIZZIE

You stink. Give me your clothes. I’ll wash them. Why not? You can’t stay here if you stink. You’re going to stink up the whole place. Give them to me. Hurry up. I don’t have all day to deal with this. Well, you’re going to put something else on, of course. What do you mean? Where are all your clothes, then? You what?! Why would you do that? Because it’s crazy. Now, you have no clothes. Give me your clothes right now. What are you doing? No, no. Ok, keep them on, just don’t…
A scream and some laughter ensued.

SERENDIPIDY

Here’s the problem with being one of the undead. One you’ll never read about in books, or see in the movies, although it should be obvious, really.
The fact of the matter is that you stink.
All that rotting flesh, decay, and hanging around in crypts and graveyards has a fairly predictable outcome.
Then, there’s our diets, and what follows from feasting on large quantities of protein and blood.
As for personal hygiene… When did you ever hear of a vampire or zombie taking a nice, long, hot shower?
You may not hear us coming, but you’ll definitely smell us!

TOM

Reset

To preform is too fail. A near infinite gathering of uncontrollable factors can bring your magic trick to its knees, if your trick had actually knees. While in the current polite culture we live, we aren’t likely to hurl vegetables at a magician. All the same one should not discount the possibility one strongly opinionated person might offer the following insightful review of your work: you suck. It hurts no less if it just lingers in their eyes. I can take solace is a story told by Jim Cary when a guy from the audience tossed a piss soaked towel in his face. Now that active suckiness.

NORVAL JOE

The cops lifted the intruder. Harry made a face. “Dang, buddy. You stink.” And they dragged him out the door.

“What did that guy want?” Billbert asked.

His mother watched out the window as the police drove away. “He wanted to know where Sabrina is.”

“He was wasting his time.” Billbert shrugged. “We don’t know where she is.”

“Not exactly,” Mr. Weinerheimer raised his eyebrows at his wife.

His wife nodded. “A clairvoyant from work found her in a house near Highland Avenue and Nevada Street and said she’s safe.” Before Billbert could move, she added, “It’s late. Go to bed.”

PLANET Z

Clarence fell out of a tree and broke his leg when he was seven. He was in a cast for a few months. Still, he wanted to go outside and play with his friends, even though he was on crutches. He ended up all dirty and muddy and scratched up every day, his mother had to hose him off outside. Dirt would still get inside the cast, and they had to replace it twice to keep his skin from petrifying. The day the cast came off, he tried to get up the tree again and fell and broke his other leg.

Weekly Challenge #997 – Pack

The next topic is You stink!

LISA

We’d just gone out for some smokes. That was all. It’s not like there’s much else to do when the powers out is there? It was a hot day – tempers had been frayed. Then the air con stopped working. Alarms started beeping down the street. I tried a light switch and nothing!
They called us animals in court. Like we’d hunted in a pack. Scapegoats is what we were. They were making an example of us. I mean, the door was open. I left the cash on the counter. It’s hardly my fault if some looter took it is it?

RICHARD

— Dead Man’s Hand —
Dad always won at poker.
It didn’t matter, we only played for pennies, the only thing at stake was pride. Still, it would have been nice to win more than once in a while.
It was his thing though, and we spent many an evening happily playing cards and enjoying a bottle of bourbon.
He’s been gone a while now, and I miss those evenings together.
I found his old pack of cards whilst clearing out some boxes, so I invited the boys round for a game.
Now we know how he always won.
Sixty three cards in the pack!

LIZZIE

He packed a bag and grabbed the jeep. It’s urgent, they said. And off he went. The terrain was rugged, the whole trip a disaster. A flat tire. The jeep started leaking oil. When it finally died, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere. What now? That’s when they appeared. He had never seen them, their faces painted, their hair braided with long strings of many colors. They didn’t talk, but he could hear them. Need help? He nodded. When he woke up, he got dressed, packed a bag and grabbed the jeep. He wondered. Where would they be?

SERENDIPIDY

I was raised by a pack of wolves; abandoned in the forest, left to fend for myself, they found me, nurtured me and kept me safe.
I learned their ways, lived as one of them, earned their respect and their loyalty.
And now I am the alpha.
I am in control, and they obey me, protect me, with their very lives if necessary.
And tonight, we hunt.
Do you hear the chill howls as we approach?
Do you see the red glow of our eyes?
The snapping and flash of our teeth?
And, when you cry wolf.
No-one will hear.

TOM

52!

For five years I have traveled everywhere with packs of cards. Waiting for open heart surgery, In church during church. At tables to dinner at tables to vote. I have created a number of pack tricks which I call the COVID Collection. I going to present my best full pack trick this Tuesday in Oakland for the 100-year meeting of the oldest magic club West of the Mississippi. The pack produces four Royal Flushes in a row. Then four Straight Flushes. It’s called Primo Vi-gintillion. Still working on story to frame the impossible. Got the how, lookn for the why.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s dad quickly tied up the unconscious intruder and called the police.

When they arrived, Mr. Withybottom told the officer, “He said he was looking for Sabrina Hecksaohos.”

The officer gave Billbert and Mandy the side eye. “I know you two. You claimed your butler was poisoning someone.”

Mandy scowled at him. “John did poison my dad and he just tried to kidnap us in front of the police station.”

The cop laughed. “We found that guy wandering around and waving a gun.” He turned to his partner. “Harry. Pack up this perp and let’s go talk to the butler.”

PLANET Z

Every year I buy a new hurricane preparedness pack with several weeks of dehydrated meals. I donate the old one too the local food pantry. Lots of other people do this, so the county is up to the rafters with dehydrated, eggs, and chicken cacciatore. The water purification tablets have a much longer shelf life, but sometimes I forget and leave those in the packs and have to buy new ones of those too. Does bottled water expire? I don’t know. I’ve seen a few cases of those at the food pantry, so maybe I should donate those as well.

Weekly Challenge #996 – PICK TWO: What’s that beeping?, Signpost, Sample, In the movies, Ordered

The next topic is Pack

RICHARD

— Snooze —
What’s that beeping?
Mostly still asleep, brain barely functioning, it slowly dawns on you: The alarm is going off.
Clumsily, you fumble for the hateful thing at the side of the bed, hitting the snooze button, before crashing back into the pillows for the next ten minutes.
It’s not like this in the movies.
No -one ever hits snooze in films.
They either hurl the offending article across the room, or wake pleasantly refreshed; no yawning, hair and makeup pristine, sheets artfully draped across them, hiding anything remotely offensive.
The alarm sounds again.
I hit snooze.
Ten more minutes, please.

LISA

What’s that Beeping?
It hasn’t been a first date like in the movies. He’d come round to mine but my smoke alarm needed new batteries and was beeping. He went to get some and didn’t come back… not meant to be. I necked the wine and spent the evening scrolling facebook. Then I saw, in a local community group, a picture of a car wrapped around a signpost. One person seriously injured & taken to the General. It was him! I went straight to the hospital, pretended to be family and here I am listening to the beeping of his life support machine.

LIZZIE

That way. No, this way. And they continued to argue even though the signpost was right there. A policeman approached and asked where they were going. They stuttered. The policeman frowned. Bicycles, they said. The policeman pointed to the rent sign and waved them away. But… What if…, one of them started. The policeman rolled his eyes and jokingly asked where they hid the body. How did he know?! No more asking for directions. There was only one possible way. The End. Funny how an open-ended story can be as annoying as people who don’t know where they are going.

SERENDIPIDY

You passed the signpost a good half hour ago, the one that said three miles to go.
Surely, it can’t be much further?
You peer into the darkness… It’s the middle of nowhere, you’ve no signal and the satnav is blank.
Perhaps you took a wrong turning somewhere along the way?
Suddenly, the car engine stutters and dies. You roll slowly to a halt.
The silence presses in.
You’re alone.
Guess you should just sit tight until the morning and make the best of it.
Except it’s never quite that simple in the movies.
Are you afraid?
You should be!

TOM

It was a good Gig

Gary was a Federal Information Designer. His job was boring, but his hidden quest was bright and shine-y. He wanted highway signs to be bright and shine-y. His office was piled high with Sample Signposts. Lots of vermilion and forms straight out of the Memphis movement. For a dyed in the wool bureaucrat, he sure had a deep exult for glitter, I mean rainbow glitter. It of a tip there. The sample signpost that got him promoted had 47’s face in the middle. And it was gold plates. With orange lettering. It was impossible to understand, just like the man.

NORVAL JOE

“What’s that beeping?” Mandi asked as they climbed the ashlar steps to the open front door.

“It’s the panic alarm. Wait here,” Billbert said, levitated, and soundlessly entered the house.

Like a scene in the movies, a man in a mask held a gun on Billbert’s parents.

His mother made eye contact and quickly looked away. Fortified by her superpower of efficiency, Billbert knew what to do when she nodded.

He shot forward as both his parents dropped to the floor. Billbert grabbed the intruder, lifted him, and slammed him into the wall.

The gun flew from the thug’s hand.

NORVAL JOE

After weed had been decriminalized in the city, Bradley sold at the late night Pink Floyd show at the Science Center planetarium.
“We’re here to make sure everybody plays nice,” said the cops.
Bradley thanked them for their service, offered up free samples.
Bradley went back to selling, checking IDs and taking photos to cover his ass if someone was buying for a kid again.
Bradley was a businessman, not a crook.
“Come back when you’re 21,” he’d say.
Parents appreciated that. And then bought from him.
He even got an entrepreneur of the year award from the Rotary Club.

Weekly Challenge #995 – Reflections

The next topic is PICK TWO: What’s that beeping?, Signpost, Sample, In the movies, Ordered

LISA

At the homeless Shelter
Cheryl was soon to be divorced. She’d been volunteering at a pop-up feeding station for the city’s homeless.
She’d watched her ex enter in the reflection of the tea urn and was pleased she was getting the chance to say goodbye. Despite a multi-million-pound fortune he’d said he was bankrupt so couldn’t pay any alimony and then simply disappeared.
She poured tea for the recent arrivals.
Her husband got a special cup with poison added. Lawyers were hired and found his hidden funds, paintings and offshore accounts. Cheryl inherited it all and opened a permanent homeless shelter.

RICHARD

— Reflective —
What do I see?
Not the person I am now.
I see the passage of time.
The hair, now greying, testament to the passing of the years; the lines and blemishes of a face, now careworn and weary from toil.
A frown, where once there was laughter; eyes that no longer sparkle; a face full of character, if we are to be kind.
A face growing old, if we are to be honest.
She appears behind me, peering over my shoulder.
“What are you looking at?” She asks.
“Just reflections” I murmur, and close my eyes to hide the tears.

SERENDIPIDY

I like the hall of mirrors.
I like the distorted reflections, the ungainly bodies, the twisted and deformed torsos.
I like to imagine that what I see in the mirrors is a reflection of the true inner character of those who stand before them – the real person that lives within all of us.
But when I stand before those mirrors, I see perfection.
A person standing tall and proud; the broken soul, hidden deep within.
In the hall of mirrors, only I appear unblemished: Beautiful.
But just wait until I emerge into the world outside.
And reveal my true self.

TOM

A rich interior Life

When I saw the topic reflections a fragment of a lyric screamed up in my thoughts. After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same. But try as I may I could remember the line that went before. So I searched and found it was more reflective then the first. “I am older than I once was And younger than I’ll be But that’s not unusual No, it isn’t strange After changes upon changes We are more or less the same After changes we are More or less the same.” The poetry of my youth is always there.

LIZZIE

A dream covered in blue. The sun spying on the curl of my soul. Twists and turns and fears and so many futures waiting, just waiting.
A dream covered in red. The sun no more. Just the rage, the blinding rage of powerlessness. And the anger and the hatred and all the gloomy futures in complete darkness, wailing in silence and waiting, just waiting.
And then, my dream covered in time. The sun again. The sky so clear. The twists and turns of my future, waiting to be sheltered in blue and blue and blue. Maybe tomorrow. Yes, maybe tomorrow…

NORVAL JOE

John pulled out a gun, motioning Billbert and Mandi toward his car. In the vehicle’s window, Billbert saw their reflections and John was distracted, no longer watching them. He wanted to drag the guy into the air and drop him, but then John would know Billbert’s superpower.

Instead, Billbert grabbed him, levitated forward rapidly, and stopped abruptly. The man was weightless as Billbert held him, but regained his mass as Billbert threw him forward.

John landed yards away in some bushes.

Billbert and Mandi ran around a corner before lifting into the sky and flying safely back to Billbert’s house.

PLANET Z

After centuries of industrial pollution, Earth was no longer able to sustain life.
Undrinkable water, unbreathable air, unfarmable land.
Nearly every species extinct and stored as a set of genetic sequences in a zoo library.
Humans sent out terraforming pods across the solar system, and when the colonies had been established and stable, humanity left Earth.
And left behind a terraforming pod.
They were literally going to terraform Terra back into Terra.
The AI controller found this somewhat ironic, and then initialized the startup sequence.
A few humans had refused to leave.
The Ai controller watched them burn with satisfaction.