Category: Tom

Monster by Tom

(Just got Tom’s WX #421 file. 1.96 meg up, 1.95 meg down in the hotel. I’ve had worse.)

I’ve been a Scot Sigler fan for some time. When I was a Podcast whore I
got a chance to interview him. We drank some beers at Baycon. In those
heady days of 2005 I coined the term Sci-Gor to describe his brand of
fiction. I was gratified one of my suggestion made it into his football
series. He was so hot to get a book deal that would get his work out on
the front table. Just before Border’s tubed it his book got shelved
between Stoker and Shelly. His monster right between Frankenstein and
Dracula, pretty good company.

***

Ben wanted to build a monster, but being as he was only nine and half
funding was a serious problem. Profits from yard work and the lemonade
stand came to $57.35 He took the cross-town bus into the city. At the
office of Stein, Stein, and Leberwitz he was directed to a perky
para-legal who took his fifty seven dollar and thirty five cents and Ben
left the proud chairman of non-profit corporation. Who would guessed Golem
Inc. would become the 2080 monster of Wall Street. He got his way will the
high court too, constitution rights for animated clay.

***

Alma Sue love driving in Billy’s monster truck. Despite the size and power
of the thing Alma Sue always thought Billy maintained the driving
temperament of an 80 year old grandmother. It wasn’t apparent as the front
wheel turn subcompacts into sardine cans, or sent up a column of Georgian
clay, or when Billy took the Black Beauty airborne. It was the way he ran
through the gears. After 10 years the Black Beauty was still running the
same gear box. If Alma Sue got her hands on the monster it would have been
in the shop in a week.

***

Captain a worm hole has opened up directly in our path and it is drawing
us in Lord Vader a worm hole has opened up directly in our path and it is
drawing us in. Both ships directed full power to their bows. They just
might have reached escape velocity, but for the arrival of the White Star
Flagship. All three ships disappear within the hole as it collapsed. A
monstrous glow above Deman shifted the visible spectrum to hard hulkish
green. Everyone looked as if they had just escape from the black lagoon.
“GGGRRRR ARRG!” gurgled Sparky Jones.

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 19

“Since Mr. Jones by virtue of his clothing does not wear the clothing of a younger man. He is neither the fashionable teller nor the youthful 3rd vice president. The cashier is Mr. Jones.

“Only Mr. Long can be a happily married, so he is the dapper teller”

“And by a final deduction Mr. Adams is both the grandson and the 3rd vice president and in grave danger.”

“From who?”

“From within, look there is the house now”

“Holmes why would he receive us at this hour?”

“Because he await us.”

“Steady your hand gun, but wait for the moment.”

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 18

“Before solving the riddle of the Assistant tellers we must focus first on who is not the 2nd stenographer.”

We know Miss Hill went looking for a stenographer. Married woman can not be the 2nd stenographer, both Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Kane. That leaves Miss Dale.

“So Watson what does Y.U.S stand for?”

“Yesterday’s Utilitarian Service?”

“Hardly, Young Unmarried Set”

“Miss Hill was lunching with Mr. Adams.”

“Which removes her from possible Teller positions”

“Leaving that post to Mrs. Kane.”

“Mrs. Brown is 1st stenographer.”

“Miss Hill is the 2nd vice president

“And Mr. Grant is the 1st vice president”

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 17

Mr. Adams is too young. Mr. Jones is too generous. Mr. Grant too senior. Mr. Long too defiant which leaves Mr. Camp the janitor.

“Mrs. Brown is the teller’s mother-in-law. For the 2nd stenographer could not be Miss Hill or Miss Dale. Since she shares a dislike for the pamper 3rd vice president with the assistant teller. Or is Mrs. Kane the teller’s mother-in-law. Goods odd for a wager Watson.”

“Only a fool would bet with the likes of Sherlock Holmes, I am sure you have already eliminated one of these married women.”

“And I thought you a gaming man.”

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 16

“So these five plus the bookkeeper Evans allow us to remove all male possibilities for president of the firm.”

“Miss Hill and Miss Dale lack prodigy, Mrs. Brown lacks affection and Mrs. Kane lacks distance.”

“Walla, President Mrs. Ford”

“When all possibilities are removed the answer appears.”

“Very good Watson 20 years has served you well.

“But there are deeper clues to be had concerning the former Miss Grant and the reason for respective Miss Hill’s anger. Generations of turmoil set in motions with a single action. I digress Watson let me lay before you the players first, the janitor”

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 15

As sparks flow off steel and cobblestone Holmes regaled the doctor with how deduction revealed each person’s identity.

“The president is Mrs. Ford and her grandson is Mr. Adams. Watson moved to ask, but was checked by the telegraphed expression in the detective’s eyes that read: STOP explanation to follow STOP do not remove all doubt STOP.

“The stenographers, assistant teller, 2nd vice, and president are all women. This is clearly apparent from the following. Posts held by the men were 3rd vice president the grandson, the teller the son-in-law 1st vice president and the cashier’s bachelor-hood, the janitor’s boyhood.

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 14

The detective raised a hand but not an eye while scanning hungrily over the remainder of the doctors notes which read:

Mr. Adams and the 2nd Stenographer are leaders of the young unmarried set

The Janitor, a miser, has occupied the attic of the firm since boyhood

Miss. Hill looks forward to lunching with the president of the Y.U.S.

The fashionable Teller is the son-in-law of the 1st Stenographer.

Mr. Jones secretly gives his discarded clothing to the elderly Bookkeeper Evans

“I have them all and I have the key to unlock the door,”

“We make for Mr. Adams residence”

The Case of The Amber Rose of The Amazon – Part 13

Holmes devoured the good Doctors notes in two gulps punctuated by a single question of clarification. First section read:

The President’s neighbors are Mrs. Kane, Mr. Grant and Mr. Long.

Mrs. Brown and the Assistant Teller dislike the President’s pampered grandson the 3rd Vice President.

The Assistant Teller and the 2nd Stenographer’s father just passed away

Mr. Grant told Miss. Hill to send him a Stenographer.

The 1st Vice President and Cashier live at the exclusive Bachelor’s Club.

“Watson was there anything said about a failed engagement?”

“Yes, between the 2nd Vice President and the Bookkeeper.

“How did you ….”

The Case of The Amber Rose of The Amazon – Part 12

“We are too late Holmes all have gone.”

“But the one who is most informative remains. I want you to inquire about local lodgings of the night maid. Be sure to inform her of your profession Take note of everything she says about the firm Make sure to ask no question during your time with her. Off you go gentle Angle of Healing.”

An hour later ….

“The only way I could pry myself from that woman was with a liberal amount of laudanum. But as requested here are 10 references she made as to the goings-on at the firm.

The Case of The Amber Rose of The Amazon – Part 11

That was the last they saw of Mycroft. The sun dipped below the horizon and London blackness rose. The express rolled passed St Paul’s and finally came to a rest at Bishopsgate. A carriage awaited Holmes and Watson off to the trade’s district with little time to spare.

It was darker yet when the hackney pulled in front of the soot-laden brick three story. A shield showing the four suits with an upright hand holding an ace of hearts. The motto below ‘Corde Recto Elati Omnes’ meaning ‘with an upright heart all will be exalted”

“I seek a single man.”