Category: Tom

Many folk with a pink carnation and a pickup truck have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

I pose the following question. Is it easer to write a serious 100 word story or a funny 100 word story? Times Up! The answer, its infinity easer to be funny. Be brashly irreverent. Invite in the gods of inappropriate behavior. Be childish, juvenile, and all out silly. Let no Sacred Cows escape barbeque. Truth be told take any serious work bend it just 2 degrees, you got giggles. If we are pushed to cry, laughter isn’t far behind. Life is one big joke; it’s just a matter of where you stand in front of punch line of behind it.

Many folk with slide rulers have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

The curse of the writing personality is it collects stuff. What it collect the most are observed insights. We tend to be avid listeners attuned to perceiving good tales. It’s a skill that grows sharper with age. As life presents content, age presents context. My advice to any young writer is get old as quickly as you possible can. If you don’t have the luxury of actually being old yourself, sound old. Try on a William Burroughs gravely cadence. Hang out with people in Oncology wards. Not only will you witness age, you can witness the black specter of resignation.

Many folk with relatives in the old country have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

You may find this hard to believe but a poll of 1000 unpublished authors’ food of choice #1 was ketchup soup. In a close second was bananas. Seems bananas meet the needed of a writer on the go. No time or energy wasted on cooking. Bananas are a wash in potassium, the critical mineral the body needs to produce irony. Bananas also are rich in Vitamin Q. 22 bananas a day meets the daily min requirement of Vitamin Q. When I’m on my daily constitutional with my typewriter in hand, I like to carry 8 to 10 in my pocket.

Many folk with an army of zombies have demanded how do you Tom write a 100 word story

In the last instatement I touched on how Google works great as a contextual word finder. Today I wish to wander over to Wikipedia work on some wily word wonks. Wikipedia is the superhighway of trivia. It has an amazing array of Pop references. Here’s an example. I’m writing a story about James Bond. I choose Stardust as my music bed. I randomly wiki Hoagy Carmichael. At the bottom of the page is a reference to Ian Fleming stating he saw Bond as Carmichael with a scar. This isn’t Hoagy Have and Have Not, this is Hoagy license to kill

Many folk with a hole in their bucket their bucket their bucket have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story.

I’d like to believe a forceps deliver by a marine doctor is the reason my brain works the way it does. The most troublesome of my many mental shortcomings is a severely limited spelling capacity. If anyone chimes in with a comment about phonetics I’m going to personally send them to met god. The first computer program I ever purchased was a spellchecker. It ran in consort with Apple Writer, at a time when no wordprocessor had an internal checker. Over the years Ms Word has been my constant companion, but of late Google has become my checker of choice.

Many folk with serious grills have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

How can a mild manner man from Houston afford to cloth, fed, and shelter a banjo playing midget in a word prolithic. That like guy has written harlequin romances, sermon for Pat Robertson, and manuals for maintaining network edge routers. He can and does it all. He asks so little in return and this is how LS is able to keep him around despite the complaint of neighboring sheep ranchers. I have from time to time hired the midget to write a story. I begged him to let me give him credit, but he just shakes his zipped mask, no.

Many folk tales with sad endings beg the question how do you Tom write a 100 word story

Timmy had writer’s block. He thought he had said it all, possible twice. In a lazy random glance out the window he saw five saffron robed men walk down Mulberry St. “What the frack?” said Timmy and ran out the door to catch up with them. “Where are you going? (To you Latin scholars Quo Vadis) “Jimmy’s house he’s dead.” “Bummer.” “Not really we are going to read the Book of Dead at his house for 4 days to help him on his way.” Timmy sat and listened for 4 day. When he got home his writer’s block for gone.

Many folk dancers with brightly colored costume have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

If you haven’t read John Irving, do. In fact read both side of his writing. His early works were heralded as great works of fiction, but they didn’t sell. So he sat down and came up with a list of 10 elements that would peek the interest of the general public. He sold a lot of books, but the critics paned him. So what did he use to light up his prose? Body odors, Incest, and dead parents. No one every lost a nickel betting against America’s capacity for sucking down titillation. Famous in life famous in death your choice

Many folk with beer steins in their hands have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

After opposable thumbs binocular vision is our keenest evolutionary attribute. Its collective use over time has given us a collective sense of pattern recognition. The downside to this is we tend to stuff reality into a pattern and after repeated viewings we fail to see errors in the pattern. In writing we counter this will the aid of a second set of eyeballs. We find an editor. Your editor can me a spouse (bad idea) it can be a friend (worst idea) or a paid professional with years of experience (smart idea) Editors make you look smarter pay them well.

Many folk with what big eyes you have grandma have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

The day comes in every young writers life when they are final published. In most cases it is at some vanity press and you give out hardback for Christmas gifts for the next 2O years. Upon the back of that hard covered work of wonder is your authorly portrait. That image must demand respect, so never smile. That image must be enigmatic, so never smile. The image must show you don’t give a damn about money, public or critical acclaim, so never smile. Hands may grab the face, but not too tightly. $100 hair cuts good idea. $1000 suites. Better