Ted’s doctor recommended that he change to a plant-based diet, so out went the hamburgers and steaks and in came the salads.
Ted was miserable, until his pal Martin reminded him that potatoes were plants.
“And they’re fried in vegetable oil, and vegetables are good for you,” Martin said.
“Oh, and you dip them in ketchup, which is tomato, right?” said Ted.
Eventually, Ted convinced himself that grain-fed steak was also plant-based.
The room began to sway and Ted fell to the ground.
“Heart attack,” said the paramedics.
They dropped Ted off at the morgue and went out for steaks.