Ich Bin Ein Jelly Doughnut

Sometimes, after dinner,
I crave a Berliner –
That noble and perfect dessert.
But a gluttonous sinner
Will bite his Berliner,
An act that may cause it to squirt –
Take a napkin and pin ‘er
Between your Berliner
And you. It will keep off the dirt.
Then enjoy your Berliner
(It won’t make you thinner –
Your diet it’s likely to hurt.)
You might want your Berliner
Washed down with some gin, or
Some human breast milk – you pervert!
I feel like a winner
When I eat my Berliner
Without getting jam on my shirt.
After dinner? Berliner!