Tag: movies

I am not a loser. Dressing up for a movie premiere is fun, dammit.
I spent hours working on the makeup. It’s a pale cream-white body makeup. Leaves one hell of a rash later.
It’s worth it.
Ordered a set of special yellow-iris contacts. They scratch my corneas.
Got my hair cut short, gelled it flat. It will all fall out afterwards.
Lost seventy pounds to fit into the uniform, too. Those illegal diet pills may have caused massive hemorrhaging in my brain, but other than the facial tic I’m fine.
I’m so ready for The Revenge of the Sith.

The diamonds that Yuri stuffed into the volleyball were priceless.
Lost in transit, said Fedex.
Years later, Yuri read: FEDEX EMPLOYEE FOUND AT SEA
After watching Chuck Noland deliver a package to some ranch, Yuri learned he had spent all that time on the island talking to Yuri’s volleyball.
Where was it?
Yuri turned on the news, sighing.
Chuck was being interviewed. Again.
“My friend just floated away,” mumbled Chuck.
“Who?” asked a reporter.
“Wilson,” said Chuck. “He was a volleyball that had a-”
Yuri switched off.
Wilson? Friend?
Should have used Airborne, he thought. Those Fedex employees are nuts.

“When you see the color red, you will experience so much hate that you will kill the Senator. It is your destiny.”
Arthur heard this phrase six hundred and forty-eight thousand, seven hundred and nine times before they stopped the recording and wiped the drool from his chin.
It used to be that you had to loop a recording with a razor and cellophane tape. Now you just hit “REPEAT” on an MP3.
They gave him a gun and a bus ticket. Two days later, he shot four seals at the Boston Zoo.
Hey, nobody said this stuff was perfect.