For a year, while my body fought off the virus, I was unable to move.
Blind. Deaf. Insensate.
A machine helped me to breathe, and I was fed through a tube.
Alone in my thoughts. In the darkness.
And then, I could blink my eyes.
Left, yes.
Right, no.
They taught me a simple code to use.
So, I asked for a freshly-baked pie.
No, I can’t eat it. I still have to eat through a tube.
I just want to smell it.
Maybe that… and flowers… and perfumes…
They will draw me out of myself.
Back to life again.
Tag: medical
Sighting
For centuries, people have claimed to have seen the Virgin Mary in various caves and grottos, and pilgrims seek guidance and healing in those places.
To this day, you’ll hear about a cheese sandwich or a piece of driftwood. A water stain in the ceiling of some shithole apartment.
So, imagine my surprise that during my colonoscopy, I’m watching the monitor and the doctor goes “HOLY CRAP!” the same time I do.
Yep. The Virgin Mary. Up my ass.
“Oh that’s where that statue went,” I said.
I promise I’ll wash it before I put it back on the dashboard.
Running With
Fernando’s greatest wish was to run with the bulls.
He spent years training, running and leaping over obstacles in the alley behind his family’s restaurant.
Finally, after years of pleading, his parents let him off work to finally do it.
He was gored through the chest in five seconds… but, he survived.
After hours of surgery, the doctors determined that if they removed the horn from his heart, it would kill him, so they cut it off the bull and left it in there.
The family asked “Can we keep the rest of the bull to butcher for the restaurant?”
Herpetology
One glance, and the gaze of Medusa the Gorgon will turn you to stone.
However, being Greek, she has access to free state-provided healthcare.
We all have rights, even criminals and legendary monsters, no?
Monster… such a cruel term… when you get to know her, she’s not all that bad.
Zeus may have robbed her of outer beauty, but not her inner charm.
And you don’t have to look in her eyes to give her a pelvic examination. And you can cover them for dental work.
But of all the ophthalmologists in Athens, why did she have to pick me?
Messages
Ghosts carved messages on my arms at night.
Only when I showered off the blood did I see the messages clearly.
I ignored them, bandaged my arms, and went about my day.
So, the ghosts carved messages on to my legs… my chest… my back… my face…
More bandages.
I used up all my vacation time… should I call a priest… watching television… drinking… drinking…
Then, I realized… I don’t believe in ghosts.
I hired a nurse to tie me to the bed at night.
After that, the ghosts left me alone.
(But the nurse beat me with a hammer.)
The Fever
We don’t bother taking Ed’s temperature anymore.
You can tell by the sweat and the redness, he’s burning up.
Still, as the doctor told us to do, we’ve filled his pillow with ice, covered his forehead with damp towels, praying his fever will break.
It’s hard to get him to drink, because he’s constantly whispering nonsense and won’t sip from the glass, so we get him to suck on a damp towel when we can… it’s reflex.
When his temperature’s down again, the doctor will inject me, and it’ll be my turn for the fever.
I hope our vaccine works.
Loss For Words
I forget words… starts with a v… vocabulary.
I lose vocabulary when I am tired.
I reach for words like… like I am… digging through a discount bin… a bin full of… DVDs… looking for a good one… one that’s not an Adam Sandler movie…
One that fits just right.
Starts with a v…
But, it’s not there.
Another fucking Happy Gilmore
Little Nicky.
Shit.
It’s late.
I can feel myself… losing focus…
But for Christ’s sake, you just… won’t… shut… up.
So, I just nod. I say
“Yes.”
“I understand.”
“Go on.”
I’m hearing you, but I’m not listening.
This Is
The hospital room has yellow notes on everything. I read them as I drag the drip stand around.
This is a chair.
This is a door.
This is a mirror.
I stare at the bandaged and bloody figure in the mirror.
A horror movie monster, putrid and burned. It shocks me when it moves.
This is a nightmare.
This is an abomination.
I read the bag on the drip stand:
This is retromutagen.
The door opens; This is a robot enters.
The staff cannot risk exposure.
Again.
I wasn’t careful. One bit me.
Now, I understand why.
This is… hunger.
Apprentice
The old wizard coughed… checked the handkerchief.
Blood.
He called for his apprentice.
“Yes, master?” said the apprentice.
His apprentice had mastered every spell he’d been taught and learned it quickly.
He’d make a fine wizard.
“One more lesson,” said the wizard, taking down a glass flask from the shelf. “Magic Jar. Relax, and feel your life’s essence flow into it.”
The apprentice closed his eyes and breathed out into the jar.
And was still.
The wizard patted him on the back. “Well done. You’ll make a fine vessel.”
He placed his bloody lips on his apprentice’s… and breathed out…
Stumble
Ted dropped his coffee as he stumbled and fell to the sidewalk.
He tried to get up, but his legs wouldn’t move.
They had been fully charged… he always checked before going out the door…
Ted crawled out of the way and leaned against a building, then pulled the status panel out of his pocket.
FIRMWARE 34% LOADED it said.
35%… 36%… 37%…
Updates? Now?
Weren’t those supposed to run overnight?
He called the office, told them he’d be late.
“Traffic,” he said, hanging up.
He closed the status app, tapped on Angry Birds 6, and waited for the reboot.