The teachers told us that the tornado drills were meant to practice what we’d need to do in an emergency, but the real reason for them is so that in a disaster it’s a bit easier for the authorities to count up the bodies and identify them.
If everyone was running around screaming, the tornado would be tossing them all over the place. Even fat kids… I heard that after one tornado, a fat kid ended up tossed through a tree five miles away.
As for fire drills, okay, go ahead. Run around screaming. See if we care, you bastards.
Tag: dystopia
Beautiful
Why did I do that?
Because The Devil made me do it.
The Devil doesn’t look like some horned monster with hoofs and a barbed tail.
He’s beautiful. Sounds beautiful.
Like an angel.
Because that’s what he is… was…
That’s why so many people fall for his tricks.
If an angel told you to do something, you wouldn’t ask for ID.
You’d do it.
Besides, even if you ask for his name, he’d just lie.
He’s Gabriel, just left his horn at home.
He’s Michael, didn’t bring his sword.
He smiles, tells you to shove someone into traffic.
And vanishes.
Checksum
Back in the day of videotapes, each generation of duplication created worse signal until you ended up with nothing but static.
Nowadays, digital encoding allows perfect duplication of content, and any errors are caught and fixed using mathematical tests called checksums which add up the ones and zeroes, then compares the copies to ensure they’re identical.
The same applies for the doppelgangers of important people we copy for various purposes. Quantum checksum comparisons ensure we’ll get the right information out of a clone we’re torturing.
Oh, did we kill the clone?
Copy another, and try the knotted whip this time.
Wander
We put WANDER INDIANA on the license plates as a warning.
That place… there’s no describing it.
It’s a gateway to Hell, the purest evil.
But some people never listen.
Another stack of battered license plates arrives at the office.
I look them up in the system, checking Missing Persons reports.
Damned.
We tried to call Washington, but they said “We tore up the roads and fenced it off for a reason. Stay away from there” and hung up.
Google blanked out the area on their maps, but it just tempts the curious.
Damn fools, wandering Hell for all eternity.
Forget
You.
I didn’t want to know
your name.
But when you asked for help,
I helped.
And all it took was
Just
One
Click.
There it was.
Right. There.
I told myself
“I won’t search it.”
But I did.
And all it took was
Just
One
Click.
Click.
Click.
I can’t unsee that.
I don’t want to know.
So, I took out a forgetting pill.
The ones that
Nasty people use
To do nasty things
But I use it
For good.
To forget.
And I swallowed it.
Just
One
Little
Pill
I won’t even remember
That I swallowed
It
Click
Scope
The supply room at the university hospital was manned by a lunatic, so whenever you tried to order a replacement microscope, it was highly possible you’d get something entirely different.
One technician got a periscope. He had to move his office one floor down to read his slides.
Another technician ended up with a telescope. He had to move his office to the moon.
A third technician received a kaleidoscope. He never did get much work done after that, marveling at the pretty colors all day.
I got a colonoscope and got fired for pulling data out of my ass.
The American Dream
A priceless treasure is missing.
We’ve lost The American Dream.
Have you seen it?
Check your pockets.
What pants were you wearing last night?
Your jacket. Turn those pockets out too.
No. It’s not there.
Where did you see it last?
Everywhere. In the hearts and hopes of every American.
But it’s not there anymore.
Where did it go?
Stolen? No.
Really, who’d steal it?
Not me either.
Have you checked behind the sofa?
No. It’s not there.
It’s not anywhere.
We’d better find it soon.
Because everyone’s starting to wake up.
And the coffeemaker’s broken.
Check your pockets again.
Liquidation
The most important thing to remember when working at The Department of Population Stability is that we do not name the individual cases for liquidation.
When a case number is not practical or available, we will refer to the subject by their location, gender, relative age, position within the social hierarchy, and any distinguishing marks.
Even if various advocates or activists give the individual subject a name, we will not use it ourselves.
So, once again, the subject is Seattle region, white male, elderly, short grey hair, uses cane.
And not “My Uncle Stan.”
We expect a report by Tuesday.
Myoelectric
Myoelectric: Sensors pick up signals and translate them into motor control.
Signals from the periphery go to the brain as sensory information.
We can replace missing limbs this way.
Let’s take Bob here as an example.
Hello, Bob. Open your hand.
Now close it.
No, don’t fire the rocket launcher.
Oops. That’s okay, Bob.
Put your hand over your mouth and you’re sorry.
No, not the chainsaw. Hand. Over mouth.
Okay, Bob, just sit still.
It looks like we got things wired up wrong.
Everybody, please leave the room quickly.
No, not you, Bob. Stay there.
And sit very still.
Assistant Wanted
Remember when she said she’d gotten her dream job? Assistant to that big movie star.
No, not the one always adopting kids. The other one.
Yeah, that one. That’s him.
Didn’t even send flowers. That’s what he had her for, right? To make it look like he cared.
Never had time to date.
Never had time to settle down.
Never took a vacation.
Oh, sure, she traveled, but she never saw the world. Phone in one hand, her boss’ dayplanner in the other.
Did she schedule this, too?
Heart attack.
Die at twenty-six.
Put an ad in Variety: Assistant Wanted.