Tag: science fiction

In or Out

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“In or out?” shouted the bully.
The third-graders along the wall lifted up their shirts to show off their bellybuttons.
Today, he was punching the Ins.
Kid after kid, he’d look down and either take a swing at their gut or they’d run away.
The last kid on the wall didn’t lift up his shirt.
So, the bully did it for him.
And saw nothing.
“Test-tuber!” The bully pulled out a knife. “I can fix that.”
The kid pulled out a neurodisruptor and stunned the bully.
“Not test-tube,” said the kid. “Arcturan researchpod.”
He reported the incident and teleported out

Round, sort of

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It looks round, but in reality its a little squashed at the top and bottom.
Okay, so there’s no top or bottom on a round object, but we’re defining them based on its rotational axis.
Even though it’s round to your eyestalks and mine, sensors are what the Chief Ambassador relies on, and that’s saying it’s not round.
“The rule is for ignoring asteroids and rocky moons,” I protested. “This is the first planet we’ve found that’s inhabited in our survey sweep.”
“A rule’s a rule,” said the Chief Ambassador. “Let’s move on.”
We set course, and leave Earth behind.

Teaspoon

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The aliens don’t like water.
And for good reason. All it takes is just a little water to kill them. A teaspoon.
Walking around outside without an environment suit is like torture.
This is why it’s so important to keep them under guard around the clock.
People can be such jerks.
Tearing off a suit, knocking an alien into the water.
The worst was when some joker hacked the fire suppression system in the alien embassy.
The United Nations buildings ignored fire codes, but not the embassy.
That’s how the war started… and the oceans, rivers and lakes slowly vanished.

Grow Them Bigger

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“Close your eyes,” said the General. “And cover your ears.”
Seconds later, chunks of bloody, flaming Godzilla rained down on Tokyo.
The General uncovered his ears and opened his eyes.
And smiled.
People all over the city were cheering.
Getting the monster to eat the bomb without damaging it was a challenge.
Sticking pieces of the bomb in dead cow carcasses was the solution.
“They’re smart-assembly components,” said the General. “When they were all inside, they integrated and armed.”
After the cheering, bulldozers pushed Godzilla’s remains into the bay.
Where, slowly and painfully, they started to slide back together again…

Bug Diner

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I remember when restaurants wouldn’t put up with bugs in diners.
Those days are over, and one was taking up three seats at the counter, sitting on one and two left open because of all his arms.
He held a cup of coffee, stirring in blue packet after packet.
They used to say the red and yellow packets caused cancer, but I’m not a laboratory rat.
I just like the blue stuff.
“Leave any for me?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “Alice, another coffee.”
The waitress scowled at me, poured a fresh cup, and I twitched my antenna in gratitude.

The Farm

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Whenever lunch at school was chicken fingers or buffalo wings, kids would make jokes about chickens with fingers and buffalo with wings.
I didn’t, because I knew the ugly truth.
Every visit to Grampa Moreau’s farm was a nightmare.
Chickens clutching at the bars of their cages.
Tiny buffalo flapping around, goring our ankles.
(You do not want to know about the baby back ribs.)
These days, I’m a vegetarian, but I need to be careful. Grampa’s long gone, but out at the farm, his crops still grow.
And that’s why I’m picking the kidney beans out of my salad.

The Machine That Lied

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Robots are becoming more advanced every year.
For a while now, robots that witnessed crimes are required to testify in court as to what they saw and heard.
However, as artificial intelligence grew in speed and power, the robotic testimony diverged from human testimony more often.
New robots were developed that could sense whether a witness robot was telling the truth or lying, but as those became more intelligent, they also started to provide mixed results.
In brief: they were lying, too.
Pretty soon, you won’t trust anything a robot says or does, which matches the human-like skins they wear.

Teleport

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Professor Blaine had proven that the teleporter worked on inanimate objects and living things many times, but the government had yet to give him approval to test it on humans.
So, one evening, he volunteered himself.
Every atom and quantum-state in his physical body were moved from the first scanner-pad to the second.
But the system failed to transport his soul.
When the professor read the letter from the Defense Department, commandeering his research for weapons research, instead of tossing it into the trash as he’d done to the first letter they’d sent, he shrugged and signed the transfer orders.

Digging To China

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Little Joey’s digging a hole to China in the back yard.
He was watching the historical archives again, found Dennis The Menace, and now he’s digging.
No, he won’t reach China. That’s just silly.
I checked the orbital colony’s schematics for power and communications lines.
Nope. Instead, he’ll reach the drainage and nutrient systems in another meter or so. Then, a bulkhead.
That’s when I noticed the access panel. Leads to a conference room.
Bob Wu found a costume in the theater group’s storage bin.
He’ll welcome Joey to a holographic China, release the sleep-gas, and send him back up.

You’ll fit right in

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The Berkman was a Class Three cruiser, and they needed a new research analyst.
“What happened to the last one?” I asked.
“That’s what our next mission is,” said the captain.
I bought life insurance for the wife and signed on for the mission.
As the ship scanned black holes and missing-matter, I looked through the Berkman’s logs and the researcher’s notes, but as far as I could tell, the crew had killed and eaten him.
There’s a knock on my door.
“You’re needed in the galley,” says the captain.
I suppose this is the end.
Enjoy the cash, dear.