Tag: science fiction

Martians vs. Robots

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Martians? Robots?
You wouldn’t think they’d be at war, but they are, and the world is at stake.
The robots want to exterminate all human life.
The Martians just want to enslave them all.
You might think “At least we’d be alive and we’d have jobs” but you’d be generally miserable about it and have no freedom.
Kinda like things are now.
But then, they’re Martians. Foreigners. Invaders.
Sure, the Martians have robots, but they left them at home.
You know, to keep the confusion to a minimum.
Martians? Robots?
We’d better hurry up with destroying ourselves on our own.

Focus

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I had a boss who made the craziest demands.
Once, she told me to focus on everything.
No. Really.
Focusing on everything.
Isn’t that impossible?
You have to focus on something. And then, everything else goes out of focus.
When something catches your attention out of the corner out of your eye, you shift your focus to that.
And what you had been focusing on, you don’t focus on anymore.
How can you focus on everything?
One day, I noticed that she used a special bottle of eyedrops for her contact lenses.
It glowed green.
I quit the next day.

Colored Clouds

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Paska is a small island with just a few hundred residents.
Everybody knows everyone else.
Especially Josh. He may be Mainlander, but he’s with the Weather Bureau.
He gets freshly-baked pies and hugs when the weather is good.
He gets things thrown at him when the weather is bad.
Every now and then, he likes to tinker with the weather control engine and make the clouds all different colors.
“Make a pink bunny!” says the mayor’s daughter.
Josh pushes a few buttons, pulls a lever, and the island’s church is incinerated by lightning.
“Um,” says Josh. “The bunnies are angry.”

Random Dave

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Every fifteen seconds, Dave hits the Random link in Wikipedia and learns something new.
Hypotrichosis is when you have less than normal amounts of hair, for instance. Dave looked in the mirror and smirked… he might have that.
He kept clicking until he found an article about himself.
He read it from top to bottom.
Everything… his birth, his school days, his career.
It was all there. Boring as hell.
So, he changed it.
He added a wife and kids. Made himself a retired football star.
Everything was great.
Until, of course, someone deleted the page by accident.
Bye, Dave.

Marble Rain

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You can hear them clacking against the street, shattering windshields on parked cars.
It’s raining marbles. Glass beads falling from the sky, the distant sound of thunder and the flash of lightning.
Yesterday, it was raining bologna.
The cheap stuff, too. Not even store-brand. That institutional crap they sell to schools and prisons.
It’s rained pretty much everything this past year. Cats and dogs ain’t the least of it.
You name it, it’s fallen from the sky.
Popcorn wasn’t bad.
Razorblades, on the other hand, totally sucked.
The weatherman’s given up completely. He just stares at the camera, laughing hysterically.

Chorus

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Ever hear of the Falling Chorus of Ghastly Cliffs?
No? It’s a fascinating story.
Imagine a gigantic gleaning amphitheater set on the edge of a cliff.
As the city residents become old and weak, they join the line down Main Street to the chorus at the cliff.
When they reach the amphitheater, they sing for all they’re worth.
Some go for a few seconds. Others, for hours.
When they’re exhausted, helpers pick them off the ground and toss them over the edge.
Another takes their place. The choir goes on forever.
It’s beautiful, except for the screams and messy splatters.

Twilight Years

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I’m not old, they tell me.
I’m in my Twilight Years.
They’re not lying, I tell them. They’re just full of shit.
I look like I’m in my eighties, but I’m really in my eight hundreds.
Been that way since I was… well, eighty.
I don’t know how and I don’t know why. I just know that I haven’t died yet and I don’t appear to be in any rush to.
Know that song Forever Young? Well, I’m Forever Old.
I get sick a lot. I feel tired, weak.
But it beats the hell out of the alternative, I guess.

Egghead

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Perhaps you’ve noticed my massive pulsating egg-shaped head?
Frightening, isn’t it? Yes!
But why? Why is my head so disturbing to others?
It’s not hurting anyone… Now.
I don’t have horns or antlers to gore my enemies with.
And if I rub it on you, the condition is truly non-contagious.
I just have a big egg-shaped head.
Oh, it’s my gigantic brain that concerns you.
Well, does it help if I say that I just think of happy duckies and bunnies and puppies?
No?
I guess I’ll have to blow up your brain with my psychic powers!
Just kidding. Really.

Sunset

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It’s been a long day.
I’ve got my beer and my hat, sitting out in the back yard, listening to a whole lot of nothing, and waiting for the sun to set.
Waiting. And waiting.
Lemme check my watch…
It’s way past time for sunset.
And my beer is empty.
Time’s passed.
If the sun’s gonna take its time setting, well, I’m gonna enjoy it.
But just to check, I put my empty at the end of my lawn chair’s shadow.
If it hasn’t moved by the time I finish my other beer, well, I’ll call…
Who do I call?

Smells

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There’s a chemical factory somewhere in New Jersey that can make any smell or taste you need.
Miles and miles of test tubes with lemon furniture polish, baked potato bubble gum, burning tire lip gloss.
Everything can smell or taste like anything else now.
In the labs below the basement, they mix the chemicals that can make any feeling that you need.
Here’s a test tube with Sadness.
Here’s another test tube with Joy.
Here’s yet another test tube with Fear.
Mix them up in the right combinations, and you can live out your greatest dreams.
Or your worst nightmares.