When people asked Willie Sutton why he robbed banks, he never said “Because that’s where the money is!” as an answer.
No, the truth is that he robbed banks because that’s where the free toasters were.
“They must be really good toasters, too,” he’d say. “Otherwise, why would they hire armed guards to watch over them?”
If you pointed out that the armed guards were there to protect the money, he’d laugh. “Sure. Right.” And then he’d go to the store to buy more Pop Tarts.
“One day I’ll find that Milton,” he’d say, and then plan the next robbery.
The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 25
“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men. Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, For promis’d joy”
For Master Ford returning from same Oxford and in trio also with friends Jones and Evans did truly overturn the apple cart with love. Miss Hill fell madly in love with Mr. Evans and her sister’s heart went to Mr. Jones.
The Grants seeing an opportunity for speeding their family control of the firm offered Miss Grant’s hand to Mr. Hill the younger. To this new plan the senior Hill was agreeable seeing the end outcome as the same.
The Dead Writer
Mark’s parents made a shrine out of his room.
All of his writing awards and achievements were framed on the wall.
They put his favorite pen on the shelf. He stopped using it when his hands shook too much to write with it.
His last keyboard was next to it.
He switched to voice recognition, but he lost his power of speech soon after.
Next to his microphone was the NeuroCap which picked up his thoughts and translated them into his final two novels.
The last words of the novel were: I love you.
But they might not have been.
The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 24
“Good Mr. Adams I mean no slander. When all is heard you must be the judge of your grandmother’s virtue. Facts are facts and time may indeed lessen the force of the blow, but Miss Grant a blow did strike and its fruits may be your untimely end.”
It was Mr. Hill’s will his daughter Charity Hill be married to Maxus Ford and his son Solomon Hill to marry Temperance Ford. An affront to the Grants only appeased by a promise that their grandson would marry, producing a heir to their empire which locked the three powerful families as one
The Duke
We found bullets, knives, and poison in the old duke’s body. Each was the weapon of choice of one of his sons:
Heinrich, the eldest, was proficient with a gun.
Brutus was an expert with the blade.
And Claus, the youngest, preferred to work with toxins.
So it was a surprise to all when the judge ordered Hilda, the Duke’s daughter, to be executed.
“She shot, stabbed, and poisoned him to implicate her brothers,” said the judge. “Take her away.”
The sons laughed as they threw their sister from the tower to her death.
She landed on the corrupt judge.
The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 23
It is the story of three Oxford men who at the turn of the century, theirs not ours, set out on a great gamble to make their fortunes. Armed with Pascal’s excellent advice on gaming “Be the House,” they set out to corner the market on the tools of gambling.
Hill Grand and Ford formed a triumvirate though equal in wealth and responsibility, Mr. Hill exerted the greatest control in their financial endeavors. Your namesake was quite comfortable with this arrangement, but Jedidiah Grant planted seeds of resentment that took full bloom in his daughter your grandmother.
“Thread lightly sir.”
The Drinker
“Why don’t you believe in me?” asked God.
I put down my drink and thought about my answer for a moment.
I mean, it’s God. And He’s drunk.
But then, I don’t believe in Him, so why worry?
So, I turned to my right…
He was gone.
I asked the bartender where God went.
He shrugged and put the tab in front of me.
Holy crap! God sure can drink, and He has good taste in what He drinks. Expensive, too.
As I pulled out my wallet, God pulled out his credit card.
“I was in the bathroom,” He said.
The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 22
Holmes handed Adams the red and white ribbon and a stillness crossed his visage that drew down a sorrow so deep it even moved the stone hearted detective.
“I’m sorry for your loss. You are in grave danger.
“How?”
“In the commission of an unsuccessful murder attempt.”
“Impossible, Hasid is Sufi.”
“But steadfastly loyal to at least one in your firm who proved less loyal to him.”
“I do not understand.”
“If I may I would tell the tale of your family tree that wound about the roots of The Worshipful Company of Makers of Playing Cards like constricting ivy.”
Tolerance
After I broke my arm and underwent surgery to rebuild it, I was given Vicodin for the pain, and it worked. It kept the pain at bay when I took it regularly.
Forty minutes after taking a pill, I felt the rush and it felt good.
But over time, as I healed, the pain subsided. I built up a tolerance to Vicodin, and the rush stopped coming.
Take more? No. That leads to addiction.
Instead, ease off the drugs, and switch to Tylenol.
And then, when I’m better, and my tolerance subsides…
I hope I didn’t sell off my stash.
The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 21
“I do not wish to hurry that moment. I love my Grandmother dearly; hope many more years are hers. Our firm is quite guarded in the identity of our office staff your ability proceed you, but alarming all the same. I fear you know us all a good deal deeper that we wish, but of course that is why you’re here.”
“Yes its my purpose to prove you killer or one who draws the killer to them.”
“Holmes. Lightly”
“No need Dr Watson; I expect the rigorous of tests.”
“Would it shock you the Turk lies expired on my ottoman?”