Confessor

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We’re not sure how he did it, but all of the evidence points to this guy who walked in and confessed to the murder.
There’s one problem, though. The murder took place in the Fifteenth Century. A simple assassination in Rome. A bishop history barely remembers.
Fingerprints, DNA, and a painting from the time confirm it’s him.
Not just a long-distant ancestor. It’s actually him. He did it.
There’s no statute of limitations on murder and he’s confessed to the crime, so we’re going ahead with the trial.
Maybe he’ll tell us how he did it. And maybe he won’t.

Unfresh Air

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Nobody says “Go outside for some fresh air” anymore. We’ve pumped so much crap into the sky, nobody can breathe without a filter bubble or a set of tanks.
A few other things have changed. Tunnels, domes, and electric vehicles. Also lots of genetically-engineered plants people hope will eat up all the chemicals in the air.
It’s not working. The air just gets worse and worse.
They could have put Wrigley Field under a dome, but the Cubs decided to just tear it down and build a new ballpark.
First year in it, they win the World Series.
Who knew?

Weekly Challenge #20 – Exposition

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Welcome to the twentieth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by last week’s winner Caleb of the Black Tie Martini Club Oddcast: exposition.
Nine stories were submitted this week.
No rookies this week.rookies joined in.
And, as always, the usual madness by Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorite:

Who had the best story for the 20th Weekly Challenge?
Kolek from The Kolektive
Lisa from Lemons and Lollipiops
Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
Caroline from Quadra Island
T.A. Marquette from Footnote Podcast
Andrew of Dodgeblogium
Laieanna
Elisson from blog d’Elisson
P.J. from No Deep Thoughts
The Madman From Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.

Grow

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We only regrow accident victims. We don’t touch terminal diseases.
It’s hard to explain widespread cancer miraculously disappearing. But you can always say they’ve just come out of a coma after taking months to heal their “nonfatal” injuries.
Add a few scars, flash the memory – they’re back.
Now, sometimes the growth-accelerants fail to slow down when halted. We test for that, but sometimes an age spurt kinda kicks in.
As opposed to Peter Pans, who never grow old.
Ever wonder why some child stars die young from drugs or accidents?
Can’t have them living forever.
That’s what reruns are for.

She’s Hot

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Yeah, Janey’s hot compared to these other ugly, repulsive circus freaks.
But I think you need to know the whole story.
Did you notice that her profile says she likes cigarettes, but she says she’s a non-smoker?
Want to know why?
She uses them to burn herself. She’s got a whole bunch of scars on her arms.
That’s why her photo shows her wearing long sleeves.
There’s only one thing she likes more than burning herself with cigarettes.
Being held down by someone else while they burn her.
So, want her number, or would you rather date the fat chick?

The Witch Doctor

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I carried Bobby’s mangled corpse to the Witch Doctor, begging him to do something.
“Sure,” said the Witch Doctor. “Stand back.”
I stepped back and watched the Witch Doctor mix up various ingredients in a gigantic boiling pot.
He poured out the contents on the broken body and chanted some kind of magic spell.
An hour later, Bobby’s wounds were healed and broken bones were straightened.
Good as new. Almost.
“He’s not moving,” I said. “Is he alive?”
“Alive?” asked the Witch Doctor. “I’m sorry. I thought you were from the morticians’. You want this one alive? Man, you’re fucked.”

Sol de Loco

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Luis and Hector were waxing the Camaro when Apollo The Sun God showed up.
“I need a favor,” he said. “My chariot’s in the shop. Can you pull the sun across the sky today?”
Luis and Hector looked at the Sun God, looked at each other, and then high-fived.
“Nothing fancy, okay?” said Apollo.
“Sure thing, Mister,” said Luis. Hector nodded.
Sometime around Noon, the Camaro’s rear end burst into flames.
Apollo watched the Camaro, the Sun, and the two volunteers fall from the sky.
“I guess they didn’t use a second layer of wax,” said Apollo. “Just like Icarus.”

Iranian Alliteration

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Eraj the Iranian was fussy.
He was fussy about his Farsi.
He liked Fanta, because it was fizzy…but it made him fat.
He shaved but rarely; his face was fuzzy.
He feared flatulence, but he was fated to fart.
He preferred Persian sausages, for they were Farsi forcemeat.
He had exceptional vision; he was a far-seeing Farsi.
He was a man who tilled the soil; he was a Farsi farmer who favored fava beans.
He had few faults, favoring facts over opinions.
Eraj, the fat, fussy, fizzy, fuzzy, flatulent, far-seeing Farsi farmer who favored favas, was a fine friend.
Finis.

Invasion Part 7

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Kolek is back with yet another chapter in the Invasion series…

Murray and Lisa left and closed the tarp behind them. They didn’t know what lay inside, and caution was best in this situation.
Team Ninja was called in to lead the way.
Ninja was made up of 12 highly trained former Rangers, Seals, SWAT, and Urban warfare soldiers who fought for the resistance. They quickly threw in a flash bomb and stormed the tomb.
But what they found was not a tomb, or a high-tech bunker, or anything they expected, but a large, simple room with blank walls. However, when they searched with their flashlights, they found something very odd…

Eat You Up

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“You’re so cute, I could just eat you up,” said Ben to Vicki. “So I will.”
Then he beat her skull in with a hammer.
Not even a scream. One minute, she was staring up at him, and then next she was a bloody heap on the floor.
Ben made the rookie mistake of freezing her before cutting her up. Everybody knows that you should cut up your meat fresh and then freeze it.
Okay, maybe not everybody, but Ben should have done his homework before bashing in Vicki’s brains.
In the end, she was only good for soup stock.