George wasn’t the worst pirate…

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Was he the worst pirate in history?
No, because that would be Phil.
The Captain hired him as a ringer for the crew’s softball team.
Phil struck out every batter he faced, and he hit every ball out of the park.
He was MVP of the league for three years straight, and the team won the championship all three of those years.
But P stands for Player, not Pirate, and Phil was a dreadful pirate.
What happened to Phil is too gruesome to say.
The crew retired his number.

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