Welcome to the twenty-ninth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Chris Doelle of Riding With The Window Down: Kinky.
Ten stories were submitted this week.
No rookies this week. I guess we don’t bathe enough.
And, as always, the usual madness by Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
The full text to each story…
CAROLINE
“Here Kinky come on. Kinky come on.” Still no sign of the Siamese with the kinky tail. Sarah went in feeling gutted. Kinky never stayed out late where on earth could he be.
She finally got ready for bed and with a sad face lay staring at the window. She tried to read. She tried to pray. When Derek came in wearing frilly panties on his head, a mop in one hand the other behind his back. She knew she was having a nightmare.
“What on earth….”
“You did say kinky.” he joked. Throwing the cat on her bed.
Caroline
CALEB
In the beginning there were a bunch of freaks who couldn’t hack Europe so they split and formed America.
it was a garden of eden,
But then it got a little set in its ways and some freaks who couldn’t hack that split and formed the Republic of Texas.
it too was a garden of Eden but then some politicians fucked it up real bad and it looked like it was going all to hell when one man, Governor Kinky Friedman came and restored Texas to her former glory.
After secession, the U.S. and Mexico became territories of our Republic.
ANDREW IAN DODGE
“Kinky is what it said on the advert,” Rupert sighed quietly.
The room he walked into was covered with people dressed in aquatic
outfits. There was a shark, a octopus, a lobster and various other
aquatics. There was a smattering of frogish like suits.
They were all in the middle having a group grope. Writhing in a dry pond.
Slightly sickened he continued to watch the kinky goings-on. No one cared.
Rupert had come here to see the frogs who were perched on top of the
females, Deep Ones impregnating their seed.
Using human’s bizarre tastes to continue their kind.
T.A. MARQUETTE
Dear Midget
The pilotlight of my passion has gone out. I can’t remember when I saw the White Buffalo last, hell I’d settle for a glimpse of the White Bunny. The joys of peanutbutter and Crisco are gone. I’ve sold the trapeze and removed all the eyebolts. The Martha Steward rubble sheets reside in the hope chest. Clamps, bungies, beads, zippered masks, ropes, rings and magnetos all gone to Goodwill. Might I need something kinky. I blanch at the mere mention, but I am desperate. What can I do to kink my straight arrow and get my mojo rising.
Signed
Mr UnHappy.
CYNTHIA
“On your knees, slave.” Julia commanded Roger as she smacked his naked ass with a riding crop.
Roger immediately dove towards the floor. His bare knees hit the floor with a thud, as they kissed the hardwood with passion, pain traveled up his thighs.
Julia circled him; with each step her stilettos clicked angrily. Roger had no idea what his mistress had in store for him tonight. As he thought about it, excitement rippled through his body.
Julia stood in front of him, steeped in latex from head to toe. She handed Roger a toothbrush and pointed towards the toilet.
LAIEANNA
It was time for a change! She had worn the same outfits for over thirty years. They never really reflected the woman she was inside.
First she bought a sleek red dress that showed off every curve. Then she got hair extensions and changed to jet black. Finally, she replaced her worn out glasses with a pair of contacts.
Now she was ready to snag the man she always wanted. He was leaning against the van when she sauntered up. Grabbing his ascot, she pulled his ear down to her lips. “Kinky,” she whispered and took him into the van.
B
“I don’t really want to do this. This can’t a good idea!” Fran told her friend.
“Just relax! It’ll be fine!” her friend said as she turned her attention to the young man standing beside her. “Go ahead and get started – I’m going to sit here and watch.”
Fran closed her eyes and imagined how her husband was going to kill her!
Two hours later, despite what she’d been through, Fran felt amazing and totally revitalized.
“I’m a new woman!” She squealed to her friend. “You were absolutely right, Jen. These new perms DON’T make your hair kinky at all!”
ELISSON
When Friedman bought a toupee, he got way more than he had bargained for.
He had wanted something in the Moe Howard vein: dark and straight. Instead, he got a rug that looked like it had been forcibly ripped from Lyle Lovett’s pate. Kinky.
Worse yet, the damn thing was alive. It would snuffle around the apartment, looking to escape. Finally it succeeded in getting out, doing unspeakable things all night before Friedman was able to track it down.
When Friedman found out that it had fucked the neighbor’s dog, he burned it. Goddamned perverted rug. Too kinky…even for Kinky.
RAHEL
When she was small, she would go with her mother to visit the neighbors down the hall. While the grownups talked, she would sit on the floor, petting their two cats: a purebred Rex named Kinky and a torbie named Rusty. She loved them both.
Then her family moved away. She never saw Kinky and Rusty again, but the couple next door had eleven cats. She spent a lot of time there until she went to college.
Today, her obsession continues, intensified. Her computer and digital camera overflow with cat pictures.
Kinky and Rusty created a monster. They never knew.
BECK
You think you know kinky? You don’t know kinky. I know kinky. Kinky is what’s going to happen in roughly two hours when my woman gets here. It’ll be fun. First, I’ll curse her for being late (doesn’t matter what time she gets in–she’ll be cursed regardless). Then I’ll tell her she has fifteen seconds to get naked and in bed. Then the whippings start.
Eventually, my arm will start to get tired, so I’ll have to bust out the sack of sawdust, the stuffed penguins, and a bushel of throat lozenges. The lozenges are for me. Don’t ask.
PLANET Z
Tom and Gladys were two chickens, needing to spice things up a bit, so they got a book.
“Kinky is having sex using just a feather,” read Tom “But using the whole chicken is… wrong? What kind of nonsense is that?”
“I’d think pulling out my feathers one by one would be wrong,” said Gladys. “Anything less than two whole chickens would be… I mean… I…”
“Just because I have a wooden leg, it doesn’t mean I’m not whole!” yelled Tom.
He stomped out of the henhouse angrily.
Gladys shrugged, put on her pig costume, and headed for the barn.
Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.
(In case you’re interested, I’ve settled on “Clair de Lune” as the opening music and “Moonshine” by Michael Oldfield from the Tubular Bells II album.)