Weekly Challenge #269 – “Read”

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Sixty-Nine, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Read

How about voting for your favorites?

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post.

TJ

OK, so this week, my actual 101st week since joining you all on this little adventure, I decided to observe the occasion by selecting one word from each of my previous 100 weeks’ 100 word story entries.

This proved to be improbably complicated – up to and including the fact that not once among those previous 10,000 words did this week’s actual topic appear, so … well, you’ll see how I handled it.

No prize for the winners beyond a smug sense of satisfaction. And since I have no idea how this will format or what it will even look like when Laurence posts it, line breaks will be as … indicated. Enjoy!

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Crack the Code

Along10 with3 physical98 training86 for9 speed14 and6 spy19 skills97- he59 also62 spent41 two21 weeks2 trekking66 through60 the22 woods87 with5 his49 Uncle76 Joe67 for61 survival30 training94- Martin99 spent95 part48 of63 his51 summer100 crafting39 a64…

stocks1 -seemed28 -recipe4 -quirky7 -warped36 -nudist20 //
cortex45- forsooth44- midnight17- irresponsible8.

Can70 you77 figure58 it65 out68?

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“Haggis31-nanotechnology15-muppety40-nymphs37-batty35 //
opera74-incoming38-elegant50 //
hedgerow78-tuxedo89-monster46-pudding73-divert91-Spencer96-Jaybird88-smartest53-workbench12 //
Watson93-doctor75-baristas23-bandaged71 //
shooter84-stand82-cooking83-staring26-platypus42 //
taxicab34 //
Jazzile11, //
Angels79-installations13-radiator80 //
Halloween69-xeriscape55-circuitous18-foreman90-themselves56 //
tattered25-vociferous81 //
overtaking43-uniforms29-gleeful32 //
History33-autotune47-denizens16-murdered54-government92-chrome85-ordered24 //
misery52-monstrosities57-Warren72-adventure27!”

Tom

Llewellyn Esterlin was a hard read. In the four years I observed her in high school I never saw her once talk to another soul. She didn’t have a lock partner. She never answered or was even asked a question in class. Whenever she walked down the hall from Herr Heck’s History class to Miss Mourse’s Math class an expanding bubble would form around her. I always wonder was she shy or merely transcendent. Of the 1000s people I have known, she is my lingering regret. Funny, Llewellyn is the late person I thought of as the darkness closed in.

Danny

I just love how the establishment of this country assumes I cannot read. High school graduate, degree meaningless in this day and age, college graduate, not a technical degree, so I go sit and spin, and Law School graduate. Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing the fall of Babylon. What? You bible thumpers are obviously not reading your bibles, fricken hypocrites. Bottom line, I don’t care if you call yourselves Republicans (Nazis), or Democrats (Pussies), I know what you douche bags in Congress are up to, you offend my morals, my values, and you are all traitors to the United States.

Zackmann

You rat bastard.
Does that mean you didn’t like my book?
No, I loved the last two thirds of your book since it was No Name by Wilkie Collins.
You got the audio book didnt you since the paperback was The Woman in White, the ebook was
Moonstone and the hardcover was My Lady’s Money. Because of how I ended the story I didnt
want to readers to feel disappointed with too small a book or be able to peek at the end to see
what happened.
Planet blowing up killing everyone on page 114. I didnt see that coming.

Steven the Nuclear Man

I pull the card from the pile of paper and read it.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, Dad.” It is a heart cut from notebook paper.

Fucking appropriate. I crumple the yellowed sheet.

I don’t remember the child in the school pictures. That kid’s gone.

I remember the times my son attacked me. The times he bit, kicked,
struck me as I held him, whispering I loved him while waiting for the
police to arrive.

I remember finding the knife he said he’d kill us with.

I read this year’s “Happy Father’s Day” cards and try not to die.

Terazzabyte

Two gentlemen, one in a very expensive camel colored tweed jacket, the other in a dirty and dingy grey hoodie with holes in it.

Two lives, one that studied abroad after earning his masters in philosophy, the other studied philosophy in the streets of Brooklyn while earning a living.

Two players squared off face to face, one reading the stoic eyes of his opponent, the other calculating the moves he must make to bring the other man down.

One Chess board lays open in-between the two combatants while two friends see no difference whatsoever in the man across from himself.

Chris the Nuclear Kid

My name is Chris. Three days ago I found a book with a title that couldn’t be made out. I flipped through the pages and stopped at one to read it. Human life is of great value, it can be a source of power. By obtaining power, one can create good and glorious things or evil and devastating things. ‘The Ring of Creation’ was made with the four elements and human life. I stopped reading.

“So, you’re the chosen one.” A man walked over then sat down.

I looked up. “The chosen one?”

“Yes, I’ll explain soon.”

Norval Joe

“‘Read the fine print,’ my lawyer said, ‘They can incarserate you,'” Fly Paper Boy grumbled as he walked past cell after cell of laughing criminals.
“I hate to do this,” the prison warden said as he walked with the boy. “Super heroes are to be tried as adults, so we have to put you in general lockup.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. The hospital ward is closed,” the warden said as he unlocked the cell. “You’ll have a cellmate.”
A man glare from the bottom bunk, his body covered with bandages.
“Make sure you keep your hands to yourself,” Vinyl Man growled.

Peisi Tan

He held out an anxious palm. “What do you see?” he asked timidly. But his heart was feeling especially rebellious. If it had legs, it could outrun a cheetah.

“I see nothing but inexplicable amounts of moisture and broken lines.”

He sighed a hasty cocktail of exasperation and frustration – served cold with a wedge of angry bitterness. “Can you tell me something I don’t know?” he finally snapped. For too long, this was the only reading that he had been getting.

If only he could wake and see that it was his reflection that he had been talking to.

Planet Z

So, everything’s a fucking mess because you thought I knew about it, but you didn’t bother to tell me about it.

Oh, it’s my fault?

How exactly?

Wait… I want to try something.

I want you to think of a number between one and ten.

Got one?

Good.

Think about it. Think carefully about it.

Okay, ready for me to tell you what it is?

Here we go… it’s…

I have no fucking idea.

Because I don’t read minds.

I’m a divinator, not a telepath.

Now help me find my dowsing rod. The neighbors want to dig a new well.

Come The Dawn

Lord Packwood glanced over the table. There were flintlocks, sabers, maces, ray guns, and some electrified gages he had no idea what possible damage they could inflict. “Chose,” said the younger rake. Dam this dueling bullshit. Every third son in the shire had challenged him at least once to a stand off. “Got to make an example out of this one,” said Packwood. “I chose endoscopes at ten inches.” Percy Wainwright turned quite pale and whisper to his second. A large bag of gold coins dropped on the table. Honor restored Dr Packwood put Big Ben back in the bag.

Outside

Once, there was a hill, and on that hill lived a group of monks.
They called themselves The Brotherhood.
Their camp consisted of a dormitory, winery, prayer hall, and kitchen.
Vineyards surrounded their camp, and there were caves in the hill to store wine.
The weather was always pleasant and warm.
A river ran nearby. They used it for irrigation, but never drinking. They had wells for that.
And every question they had, it was answered by a book.
The book. The only book.
The wine was the best ever made.
But, the brotherhood didn’t drink.
Such a waste, right?

Bubbly

Okay, so, like I came to this school because they have a good fashion and design program, and it’s got five kegs in the party meter, but, man, tuition was expensive and my parents couldn’t afford it all, so I got a work-study thing going with this scientist in a lab and he’s got all kinda of tubes and wires and vats with bubbly green goo in them and she shouts DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING but, like, this place could use a designer’s touch, maybe some more light, and I see this switch on the wall, so I pull it dow-

One Voice

The book commands The People to speak with one voice.
“Does this mean only one of us speaks?” asks Brother Timothy. “Or does the book want us to speak the same way?”
Brother Timothy is from Brookyln.
Brother Eustus is from Waco.
Brother Philip is from Chicago.
None of them have the same accent, although they do of Eustus’ thick Southern drawl from time to time.
The brothers all turn to Brother Maynard.
He is clutching his ventriloquist’s dummy, trembling with fear.
“Brother Woodenhead can take a vow of silence!” he whimpers.
They toss the robed dummy into the fireplace.

The Only Way

Whenever someone tells me that something is the only way to do something, I challenge myself to try to think up another way to do it.
Sometimes, I come up with a much better way, and I propose it to them as a viable alternative.
“It’s easier, less expensive, and is much safer to do,” I say, going through the plans. “Plus, it doesn’t cause any pollution.”
The other person scowls angrily. “You cannot do this because God says not to.”
I do it anyway, because if God doesn’t want me to do things cheaper, safer, and easier, fuck Him.

A Twist Of Lime

“A twist of lime,” says the man in the green suit to the bartender.
“With what?” the bartender asks.
“Nothing. Just the lime.”
The bartender slices up the lime and the man in the green suit lays on the bar, staring up at the glasses and lights hanging over it.
He opens his mouth and says “Go for it.”
The bartender shrugs, squeezes a lime wedge into the man’s mouth.
The man in the green suit sits up with a grumble, wincing with disgust.
“I said twist, not squeeze!” He lays back.
The bartender twists another wedge.
“Oh… so… good.”

Barge

Midnight. Bloodfang Dock.
The tugboat slowly guides the barge to rest.
Captain Grim hobbles across the deck.
“Two thousand for a dozen, vampire,” he croaks.
“All alive?” I ask.
“When I last checked,” he says. “Hungry?”
I give him the money, and he throws open the hold.
“Out!” he yells, pulling a rope, tied-together soot-covered children stumble out in single file.
When the last is on the dock, he laughs, and I order the tugboat to shove the barge away.
I pull out a knife… and cut the rope. “You’re free now, children.”
They run, laughing.
(I’ll hunt them later.)

Weekly Challenge #268 – “Toxic”

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Toxic

Let’s see if PollDaddy is working again…

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post.

Tom

Stay away from Benny he’s toxic. What ya mean? He’s covered in Comic Goo! Goo? A sticky paste of desire and despair that takes the wire brush of righteousness to remove from the soul, but in a casual exchange of social pleasantries can become smeared firmly across your psyche. “You’re Joking?” “Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” After 10 minutes with Ben Frank staggered back to me, looked like he’d been run over by an Iditarod sled crew. “I feel like crap,” said Frank. “Better take this before it hardens.”

Chocolate or vanilla — two scopes should do it.

Zackmann

Martin asked the old man did you look in the restroom. That would be called the head said
Captain Cheyenne. You dont what to go in there. Why Captain is it toxic? Not exactly but our
cook is good at Texican cuisine and yesterday was chili night. The crew likes toxicly spicy chili.
Captain Cheyenne, how do I get off the ship its not canon. Prepare to fire. No Story canon.
Belay my last.Sorry lad once your caught up in a story ark it is had to get out until the course is
run or in this case sailed.
zackmann

“Paul E Cooley the doctor will see you now.” “I see from your chart you are a plushophile who
came in for Yarn Burn and dont I remember something about you writing some detective noire
muppet slash fiction?” “I did nothing wrong, they were over 18” “That might be part of the
problem because some of the older muppets were constructed using toxic dyes. I am afraid you
will need to use this salve and wear undyed underwear for several weeks. Dont feel too bad
because this condition is not uncommon and has become known as the Rob Balder Disorder”

AM Earley

The protestors had been as close to the faclity as they were allowed for six hours whent the reporter showed up.
Ranting protesters were not the fast way int the anchor chair, but . . . .
“They are silling toxins into our drinking water, the lead protester exclaimed passionatly. “It’s effecting our
lives and ruining our children’s health. We brought six kids who have been profoundly affected.”
Pointing out only five children present started the search. When the search ended the reporter was exstatic.
Toddlers found dead in hot cars are trgic. It was also ratings gold. The reporter couldn’t wait to find out who
would be put on trail for this.

Steven the Nuclear Man

You’ll come home after a long day. A day spent trying to forget the things you’d said the night before. A day spent remembering the hateful words your lover said.

Those surprising, unexpected words, like uncorking Chianti and finding frothing sour vinegar boiling out of the narrow throat.

Of course there’s problems, you’ll rehearse, opening the door, but we can–

The first splash of acid – or maybe for you it’s a gun, or a knife, or an iron, or a bat – takes you unprepared.

Great minds think alike, you’ll muse as your lover purges the toxic relationship from their life.

Relish

It was too late to turn back, fix the mistake. The toxic error shredded his body and twisted his mind into a red cyclone of terror. He had eaten the fleshy, spore-bearing mushroom like it was a piece of popcorn, sucked on the edges, and let it slide down his healthy throat. Picking perfect mushrooms was his art-form; he was thought to be an excellent amateur mycologist. A sea of red poured through his body like toxic paint, warm as candle wax. He knelt down on the path where he had found the mushroom, and he gave up on himself.

Danny

Jack woke up from a deep sleep, ready to take on the next challenge in his life. Jack then asked himself, “How many shots can I drink in one sitting before my blood alcohol level becomes so toxic that it starts to damage my internal organs?” Jack pulled the bottle of grain alcohol off the shelf , and poured himself a shot in a dirty glass sitting on the table. He chugged the shot down, and poured another. The second shot burned going down, the third shot didn’t burn at all. Jack’s body was found the next day. Question answered, three.

Terrazabyte

Putrid… that’s the only word that describes the stench that enveloped my nostrils that day.

For each and every breath I took, a bit more of that toxic aroma filled my olfactory and overwhelmed my nerves. I became unbalanced as my knees began to shake and give way. My vision flickered and proceeded to close in from all sides as if some tiny being was slowly walking from the back of my brain to the front, turning off the lights in each section and closing the door.

Light became dark, dark became comfort. Rescued was I, from Aunt Agatha’s meatloaf.

TJ

Analyzing the video he captured, Martin carefully selected screencaps
that most usefully identified Miss Harch’s extended changing-room
ogling and avoided the nudity beyond her. Though nearly all the girls in
the video would by now be 18, he didn’t wish, in applying his
extortion bid, to open himself to toxic counter-charges of child
pornography should one of them still have a birthday coming. The images
he chose were, as it turned out, effective. Miss Harch would excuse him
from fifth-period gym class for his junior year. He had all summer to
plan how best to use that free time.

Norval Joe

The attorney open his briefcase and looked over his glasses at the boy.
“We have a problem, Fly Paper Boy,” he said and passed a folder across the table. “Vinyl Man is filing charges based on the Super Hero Collateral Damage Reform Act of 2008. He says you’ve permanently scarred him.”
“I caught him red handed,” the boy said, “besides, my adhesive is non-toxic.”
“True,” the lawyer said, “you’re glue’s not toxic, but the solvent to separate you is. It has acetone in it. Vinyl man has burns over 90% of his body and a pretty good case against you.”

Planet Z

Paul was finest chef in the world, but when your ex-wife is the finest food critic, you find yourself closing a lot of restaurants.

One review had used the word “toxic” seven times.
Another had just been a skull and crossbones.
The last listed the number for poison control.

This time, she wasn’t going to ruin the moment. He gambled everything, spent all he had, called in every favor.

There would be no bad review this time. Back in the kitchen, her body was stuffed into the bottom of the deep-freezer.

Revenge was a dish best served cold, after all.

Unfolding

Lao Tsu is a master of the art of Unorigami.
What is Unorigami?
It is the opposite of Origami, the Japanese art of paper-folding.
He can unfold folded paper in a way that you never see a crease. It’s as if the paper was never folded.
He’s so quick, you can toss a paper airplane past him and the next thing you know, a flat sheet of paper wafts slowly to the ground.
For his birthday, I gave him a sweater.
He puts it on and thanks me.
Then he hands back the gift-wrap, spooled around the cardboard tube again.