Author: R.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipity
• Tura
• Tom
• Jon
• Jerry
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

Christopher’s general state of irritation annoyed everyone. The temple was supposed to bring inner piece. Yet, Christopher’s constant sarcastic remarks made the community wish they could do something about it.
“The statue. Pathetic. A feeble attempt at being modern.”
The members shrugged.
“That little stupid heart at the so-called feet of the statue. Idiotic.”
The others looked away.
“And the colors. Pink or something.”
It was purple.
So, the others grabbed Christopher and locked him in the catacombs.
He would join the other one they h

RICHARD

Pop!

Bubble wrap: The single most ill-advised invention in history.

I know it’s great for packaging and protection; but like all plastics, when it’s thrown out, it’s an environmental nightmare.

But that’s not why I hate it.

I hate bubble wrap purely because of its therapeutic properties… That wonderful sense of satisfaction and well-being experienced by spending a pleasant half hour, popping all those little bubbles.

It’s a wonderful stress reliever and thoroughly relaxing…

For the person doing the popping.

But, if like me, you have to put up with the resident popper, it’s the greatest irritation known to man!

SERENDIPIDY

Irritation… That simple, but hugely effective technique for breaking down your adversary, with little outlay in terms of effort. 

Take the Chinese water torture: A single drip, repeated, time and time again – a small irritation that develops over time into an all-consuming, soul-destroying instrument of despair.

But I’m not going to go to such extremes.

I’m simply going to dial your number. Wait until you answer. Then hang up.

Time, and time again. 

It’s torture.

And you won’t dare let it ring, in case your wife answers the phone.

And I tell her all about your affair.

TURA

Irritation

———

Jane and I were identical twins. Our mother would dress us exactly the same, which annoyed us both, but when we were old enough, we could go shopping separately and find we’d bought the same things. Picking out clothes for the day, we’d have to arrange together who would wear what if we wanted to be different.
But the most irritating thing was that when we were out somewhere, elderly women would come and coo over us, “Are you twiiiins? How cuuuuute!”
Eventually we found the perfect answer. We would reply solemnly, “We were triplets, but one of us died.”

JON

Mindless Unawareness

 By

 Jon DeCles

There are a lot of things that irritate me in these times when I have to flush the toilet after humans, but the chief irritation is with humans who pile tableware, i.e., knives, forks, and spoons, interleaved with the ceramic items, thereby achieving chips and cracks and the frequent breakage of our plates and cups and saucers. I explain to them why theymust not do that and they ignore me and continue to do it on a daily basis, destroying things that other people have worked hard to provide.

I saw on a poster that Devo is still performing.

Mystery

By

Jon DeCles

It was not the kind of mystery you solve, it was the kind of Mystery into which you are initiated, the kind that sometimes contains a sacrament, to which the Mystery provides a key of understanding, like the ritual cannibalism at the heart of the Catholic (most notably Roman) Mysteries.

But it led to the other kind of mystery when Detective Officer Alliente was called to discover exactly who the remains on the altar of the old church might be, and how and why the one kind of Mystery was being perverted into the other kind in the abandoned church.

TOM

In the last days of wonder                                                    

Sally in the time honored aspect of a kid sister was a complete irritation to her older sib Ann. She would materialize wherever Ann was meeting with her cadre. And much to her vexation none of her closest friend saw this as a problem. Some actually found the little brat enduring. Just as the whole matter was coming to a head, and quite suddenly Sally up and removes herself from Ann life. She fell into a life of deep study and contemplation. Try as she now did Ann could not get her sister attention. Be careful what you wish for.

JERRY

I felt annoyed.

I was becoming impatient.

You could even say I was slightly angry. 
It was not something that I could place my finger on.

It was just something that was restlessly moving around in the back of my mind.
Sort of like the empty space where a tooth had been. 
The space the very tip of your tongue finds time after time.
You worry with it, slipping you tongue into it without thinking.
Yes, that annoyed, impatient, and angry feeling was keeping me awake at night.
The question is what am I going to do about this irritation.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s father frowned. Was it disappointment, frustration, or irritation? “You have your powers already?” he asked.
“Well, yeah. When I wear a plastic grocery bag, I can fly. It’s no big deal, dad.”
“A plastic grocery bag?” his father asked but didn’t give him time to answer. “Eventually, you’ll probably be able to fly without it. It’s like training wheels.”
Billbert shrugged. “Okay.” The bag crinkled when he shifted.
His father’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t wear a bag to  Linoliumanda’s party, did you?”
Billbert swallowed.
His father gritted his teeth. “Please tell me. No one saw you fly. Right?”

PLANET Z

Fred was an irritant.So much so, he was forced to wear one of those Fire Diamond symbols on his shirt.You know, those diamond-shaped symbols with numbers that represent health hazards of chemicals and stuff.His flammability index was a 1. But most people are, really.His instability index was also a 1. Once again, most people are.And his health index was a 1. Prolonged exposure caused severe irritation and health hazards.People asked him what the symbol on his shirt meant, and he’d gladly explain it to them at length.And make them regret ever asking him.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Alex
• Serendipity
• Jerry
• Tom
• Jon
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

The conveyor belt carried a collection of distorted torsos. They had been hanging at the exhibition dock for a few weeks.
“Is this what they’ll eat?”
The others nodded. “Ripe and packed with proteins, sir.”
“Don’t you think the meat is too ripe? How do you expect those damn humans to work properly if you give them this?”
The others looked alarmed.
“Sector 6 is proud to provide quality food. Would you like to taste the meat?”
“Well, no. You taste the meat.”
Ward 2 became packed with Sector 6 personnel for a few damn weeks.

RICHARD

Belt up and brace

It’s always disconcerting when the seat belt sign comes on without warning.

When that gentle chime sounds for no apparent reason, your first instinct is to look around for reassurance, which is rarely forthcoming: The stewardess gives you a tight-lipped smile as she makes her way purposely to the front, “Probably just a precaution, sir.”

Your ears strain for changes in engine tone; every unexpected noise makes you clench the seat arms more tightly; you pray it’s just turbulence.

Realisation dawns: You’re in a four hundred ton metal tube, seven miles up… 

And there’s nothing at all you can do.

ALEX

What does Santa keep in his belt? I mean it MUST be a utility belt – just like Batman.
How could one man crack every security code, pick every lock, eat every cookie, and sneak away unnoticed? 
One thing I’m sure of: Santa packs the adult sized diapers.  No, not just for him!  For the reindeer as well! 
Think about it.  If he travels all around the world and stops at every house, there is no time for a pit stop.  
When was the last time you read of a family waking up to a jolly man pooing in their bathroom? 

TOM

A matter of comfort                                                            

Timmy didn’t like belts. The edges cut across his hips and made him feel massively uncomfortable. Mom being a good Mom got Timmy a pair of suspenders. This suited Timmy just fine. Through the rest of his life he went beltless. There is a joke about a man who were a belt and suspenders. What do you call this man:  insecure. Timmy never thought this was very funny. In the 70’s Timmy wore rainbow suspenders. When he finally passed away the fools at the funeral home dress him up with a belt. His friends removed. Helook much better

JON

Going Around

 by

 Jon DeCles

Sometimes inconsistencies are beneficial.  We have the Asteroid Belt and the Kuiper Belt, but we have the Rings of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Haumea.There seems to be something deep and psychological about circular objects, and particularly related to the female of the species.  Both rings and belts have been associated with marriage rites.Collars, another circular object, seem to be associated with ownership and slavery for the most part.  You read about rings of power, about power belts, but you don’t read about collars of power.  You read about dog collars and leashes or collars with bells for animals.

SERENDIPIDY

Belt up… It’s going to be a bumpy ride! 

In fact, I can guarantee that you’ll be screaming right from the moment we start! From there onwards, it’s going to be a roller coaster journey that will test you to the limit, physically, mentally and emotionally. And no matter how much you beg and plead to stop, this is a one way trip. There’s no getting off until we’re done.

At least you’ll have company for the ride, because this is one nightmare trip that every one of us will be taking together.

Welcome, to the ride… Of your life!

JERRY

Arthur pulled the knife from his belt and proceeded to carve a pentagram into the abdomen that had been rude enough to brush against him causing half his whiskey sour to splash on the bar. Not that it mattered. That was possibly the worst whiskey sour he had ever tasted in his life and he had tasted many. It was a matter of principle. Unless you provided examples to those around you you could expect to be bumped into daily and with out so much as by your leave. 

Well, it was time to move on to the next bar.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert frowned. “How is not smelling bad a superpower?”
“Think about it,” his father said. “Eustacia never has to brush her teeth or use deodorant. And have you ever noticed how often she sprays Fabreeze where ever she goes, especially after eating her seven bean casserole?”
“She farts fabreeze?”
“Don’t worry, son. Once you’ve gotten a few years as a super hero under your belt, it will all make sense.” He put a hand on Billbert’s shoulder. “It may be a few more years before your powers show up, though.”
“Well. To tell you the truth, Dad. I can fly.”

PLANET Z

I remember when my Dad would take off his belt and beat me with it.
“Just wait until your father gets home!” my mother would say.
And he’d get home. And he’d take off his belt. And he’d beat me with it.
So, I did the thing that any normal kid would do.
I destroyed all of my father’s belts.
“What are you going to beat me with now?” I’d say.
He beat me with one of my belts.
So, I destroyed all of my own belts, too.
I destroyed every belt.
And that’s how I became Batman’s nemesis: Beltman.