Weekly Challenge #356 – Suggestion

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Suggestion.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

The next 100 word stories weekly challenge is on the topic of Vacation.

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post… this obligatory cat photo should help make the Internet go faster:

Cave kitty


CLAIRE

She had a suggestion box just inside her front door. It was wood, painted bright red, and labeled “SUGGESTIONS”. Theodora was the neighborhood entrepreneur. She had been plowed more than Nash’s carrot patch. The box was there to take suggestions from her “visitors”. Some suggested that she serve tea and sweets in addition to the other creature comforts. Others suggested that she lighten up on the toilet water that she liberally spritzed herself with. All in all, the suggestions were favorable and her marks averaged four stars out of five. Theodora ran for city council and won by a landslide.

The hypnotist made two, surreptitious, post-trance suggestions to his subject as she came out of her deep sleep. That afternoon, when Irene stopped for the light at the crosswalk, the signal beeped for the visually impaired, and set her off. She jumped in the air, clucked like a hen, and did the funky chicken, as she crossed the street. Later, when Irene heard the noon bells at St. Luke, she rolled on the ground, trying to extinguish the phantom flames she believed she was engulfed in. Dick Lamente was a hypnotist and a sadist, keeping his sadistic side under wraps.

There was a suggestion of violence in every one of his stories. He was an angry old man, and resented the talent and popularity of other writers that were published. He imagined the other writers and small press editors manacled to his cellar walls and forced to listen to his podcasts at ear-splitting volume, day and night. He was an asshole, but prided himself on the knowledge that he was the biggest asshole in town…maybe the county. Dooty also WROTE IN ALL CAPS, misspelled frequently, and abused all social-media etiquette as he lurked on religious and writing boards and BLOGS.

JEFFREY

In the Bunker
by Jeffrey Fischer

“It was just a suggestion,” Sam said, looking chagrined. The loud ticking was getting on our nerves.

“When you press the button marked, ‘Use only in emergency’ it’s no longer a suggestion, it’s an action.” The ticking continued.

“We’re trapped in a concrete bunker with troops on all sides, no chance of relief, and nearly out of ammo. That sounds an awful lot like an emergency.” Sam tried to sound defiant, but his tone had a defensive note to it.

“Fair point. Still, I wish you’d asked first. We can’t override the self-destruct command.”

The ticking stopped, and my last thought was that silence could be more terrifying than any sound.

***

New Experience
by Jeffrey Fischer

“Come on in, big boy. I know what you want,” said the transvestite suggestively, gesturing to the doorway. He was standing on the steps, clad in gold lame’ top, leather miniskirt, and high heels.

“I… I have no idea what you mean.” That sounded silly. After all, I had come to this part of town, to this very building, of my own volition. I was either lying to him or lying to myself.

“Everyone is nervous his first time. It’s okay.”

Still I hesitated. Then I nodded at the man and trotted up the steps and through the front door, passing the sign that read: “25 large-screen TVs; pitchers of beer just a dollar.”

SERENDIPITY

The summit meeting of the Confederation of Inhabited Worlds was on the brink of disarray.

The Chairman called for calm and made one last ditch attempt to address the problem.

“We have nurtured earth, controlling and manipulating its population, environment and global systems for millions of years – apparently all for nothing, it seems. Humankind appears to be hell bent on destroying both itself and the planet. Time is running out! Is there anybody here who can propose a solution?”

Then, a lone voice rang out…

“I have a suggestion!”

“Has anyone thought of turning it off and back on again?”

CLIFF

1
Ok, people. Settle down. Let’s get right to the suggestion box. First, we got “Let’s have a three day work week.” No. “Free donuts in the break room.” No, I’m not encouraging diabetes in my employees. Next. “Profit sharing.” If you clowns don’t come up with something, there won’t be any profit to share, so, no. “Rank employees by productivity and sacrifice the least productive to Aziok, Lord of Pain.” There, you see? That’s the kind of innovative thinking I’m talking about. But, no. I asked legal and they didn’t like it. Something about human rights or some such nonsense.

2
Using suggestion, I called the blonde to me. My body language told her that I was interested, but my eyes said she wasn’t quite good enough for me. I gave her the half compliment of saying that she was almost as pretty as her friend. I ordered her a drink without asking to let her know who was in charge. I had her right where I wanted her. I used every trick in the book. The problem is that the book doesn’t say what to do when the girl drugs you, handcuffs you, and steals your wallet, watch, and car.

BOTGIRL

It must have been true love. She was going to marry him even though he couldn’t make her cum. Not in years of trying. Two weeks before the wedding, I was her last shot.

She relaxed into the recliner. Eyes closed. Chest rising and falling.

“Go back to a satisfying sexual memory,” I said, watching her eyes flutter as the scene replayed in her mind’s eye.

It took about twenty minutes to hypnotically connect the past orgasms with an imagined honeymoon future.

I saw her a week after they got back. She was still all glowy. The power of suggestion!

TOM

Shared Governance

“On the right of the fiery pit you will note a prominently displayed Suggestion Box,” said Baxster Beelzebub,

“We encourage resident to contribute their thoughts to make this the best hell it can possible be.”

The new inductees tacitly nodded.

“In fact the whole idea for fiery pits came from a newcomer just like you.”

No one nodded this time.

“You may leave an anonymous suggestion, but we encourage any bold soul to take full ownership for their excellent insights.”

“What if it’s a sucky suggestion?” asked a kid in the back.

“See those guys on fire in the pits?”

LIZZIE

“It’s bizarre,” the man said, dismissing the deal.

“It’s a great piece of land.”

The seller wearing a sinister pair of glasses with one lens only seemed eager to sell that land. The number of people dumped at that location was growing alarmingly.

“I don’t want a piece of land with dead people in it.”

“Oh, they have been removed. And the price is extremely inviting!” insisted the seller.

The man hesitated.

“I’ll be waiting in your nightmares,” mumbled the seller.

“What?!”

It was too late. The seller had already found his way into the man’s subconscious to haunt him.

MUNSI

Starting Smoking

By Christopher Munroe

You’d tried everything, but nothing had worked. So you came to me.

I sat you down, made you comfortable.

Counted down from 100, each number causing you to fall into a deeper state of relaxation, each word causing you to sink deeper, trust deeper, fall deeper under the spell of the soft, soothing words I spoke to you.

And once I was confident you were under, I whispered my command in your ear.

“You will smoke.” I told you, and you never smoked again.

You never would have, had it not been for me.

That’s the power of pre-hypnotic suggestion…

ZACKMANN

“Hello Fiendmaster, I am calling in with some questions about Paul Elard Cooley.
First does Paul’s current interest in sex scenes have anything to do with Mixon’s influence?
I heard Paul singing Mimes Mimes Mimes in Dead Robots Society opening and wonder if our subliminal messages that Pauls next writing challenge should be to write a musical are doing any good.
If Fiends was made into a musical who would you wish to play the Fiendmaster?”
Paul’s voice interrupts “This is starting to look like a drabble. Who the hell put you up to this, that puppet effer Jake Bible?”

“I am thinking of buying a new car if I am part of the buyback program. When I asked if our Saturn Vue qualified the salesman said it depended on which transmission it has and each case evaluated separately. After owning three General Motors lemmons, I was not planning on buying another Chevy but five thousand trade in for car with broken transmission inspires forgiveness.”
Dylan says “The Spark is so cute.”
“Son, I don’t have to get a car you like but I do need to get one your mother likes. Lets test drive one before we take her.”

“Son since your parents are going to make the payments on the new Chevy Cruze, I promised your mother to have less fast food and only buy books with credit card points but I keep hearing “Buy the Book”.When I try to go to sleep I hear “Buy the book”. I am going Bonkers. The oddest thing is this voice of my inner torment sounds very pleasant much like that nice Mister Lawrence Santoro. ”
“Dad that is not some odd inner voice, the Nook Tablet is turning on the Stitcher app and playing Tales to Terrify when you sleep.”

TURA

You know when you buy something online, you get suggestions about what else to buy? Usually they make sense, but recently I ordered a book on stochastic differential equations, and Amazon suggested Mathes Roriczer’s “Geheimnisse der Fialen Gerechtigkeit”.

A few days later, it recommended the “Hortulus Animae”, the book for which the Index Librorum Prohibitorum was created. Then the “Apophthegmata Daemonum Deserti”.

There are demons on the net, tempting people with forbidden knowledge. I wondered when God would sit up and take notice, but today, Amazon has suggested “The Way, The Truth, and The Light”, by one Jesus bar Joseph.
—-
And if you enjoyed this story, you might also enjoy “The Book of the Sundering of the Gate to The Things That Should Not Be”, currently reissued under the title “Opening Portals to Hell For Dummies”.

DANNY

“I have a suggestion!” my father exclaimed. “O.K., pops lay it on me,” I replied. “Lay what on you?” Dad asked. “Your suggestion,” I tersely replied. “Ohhhh, I forgot.” I give my dad much slack, he is 85 years old after all. Dad then goes back to staring at the wall in his toolshed, before explaining, “you see, I just sit here staring at the wall, and eventually I figure out the best way to hang all of my tools on the wall. “Dad, I have a suggestion.” “What is it?” “Never mind, just carry on with what you are doing.”

DONDO

All I’m dressed for is a fun night out with the girls. Why does a quality pair of high heels imply anything more?
The sound of my heels clicking on the sidewalk does little to cover the sound of his voice. He mutters under his breath as I walk past him, raising his voice when I ignore him. I tense up when he starts following me down the dark, quiet street.
His footsteps grow louder, and as his hand touches my shoulder, I pray that my knee does damage as I spin towards him.

REDGODDESS

Lola got her wish on Valentine’s day. She stayed home, curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and her new gift. It’s hard to believe she didn’t have to use power of suggestion for him to understand. In moments like this, she’s reminded why she’s still intrigued by their relationship. With each sip of wine, Lola feels a tinge of guilt for indulging without him. She still remembers the first morning of the year, after their date. They sat at his kitchen’s table feeding each other buttery French toast. Looking back, he is her first true Valentine.

SINGH

“No! I want real darkness, chaos and conflict!” thundered the director.

“When you cackle, feel your inner witch. Just listen.”

His switch to a witch didn’t impress.

Darkness went back to buffing her black nails.

Enough was enough. “If you don’t mind, get the hell off my stage Miss Dark.”

“Dude! Be nice!” said Chaos.

“Or else!” added Conflict, punching a butch fist into her palm.

Student actresses! Why the devil did he take this gig?

“Alright, once again before lunch.”

Someone switched on the lighting and special effects. But the three witches just slouched in the spotlight chewing their gum.

The Walking Wounded

“Sir, may I suggest the cuisses de grenouilles.”
“Oui, Michel.”
The waiter left.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Frogs legs, Cherie.”
“Oh.”
“It is your first time in Paris, no? Try.”
She didn’t want to displease. Then, saw her chance.
‘What will you buy me?”
He chuckled. “Anything.”
“A Louis Vuitton handbag.”
His eyebrow rose, but he checked it.
And so it begins, he thought: the dalliance of beauty with money.
“And what will you give me, Cherie?”
“You’ll see,” rubbing her bare foot against his, below.
Soon, the cuisses de grenouilles arrived, steaming hot.
Hungrily, she raised her knife and fork.

*
Halfway through he asked, “You like?”
“Nah. Tasteless, really. Like white rubber. The sauce isn’t bad, though.”
He grinned, indulging her youthful directness, pleased as a bullfrog with a fly.
Then, the kitchen doors banged.
It gave him a naughty idea.
“Mon Dieu!”
“Whassup?”
“You won’t believe it.”
“What?”
“What I am seeing!”
“Spill!”
“A long column of frogs on crutches.”
“Henri!”
“Hobbling out from the kitchen.”
“You’re awful!”
“Under the swing doors, leaving the restaurant.”
“That’s horrible!”
“Turn.”
“No way.”
“See.”
“No way! Poor froggy. You’re cruel!”
“With bandages!”
“Stop it!”
“Cherie. I’m teasing.”
“I’ll never eat frogs legs again.”

PLANET Z

Mounted on the wall of the break room, there’s a suggestion box.

A sign next to it encourages employees to anonymously send in their ideas.

I prefer to send my ideas to my boss via email.

Even though I might have what I think is a good idea, there might be issues with budget… time… or a legal entanglement.

Which is perfectly reasonable. You can’t do everything.

So, I wrote up a suggestion:

“Take down this box. Encourage everyone to work together and communicate openly.”

And I put it in the suggestion box.

Oh crap.

I forgot to sign it.

Play Ball

Every ballgame begins with the playing of the national anthem.
Some local choir was singing, and they sounded great…
“Over the land of the free
And the home of the brave?”
The crowd cheered, and the home plate umpire shouted “PLAY BALL!” but the players didn’t take the field.
They liked the choir’s singing so much, they wanted to hear them sing for a bit more.
“We’re not in a rush, right?” said the managers. “The stadium’s got lights. And tomorrow’s a travel day.”
So, they laid out blankets on the field, got some sodas, and everybody enjoyed the choir.

Scope

The supply room at the university hospital was manned by a lunatic, so whenever you tried to order a replacement microscope, it was highly possible you’d get something entirely different.
One technician got a periscope. He had to move his office one floor down to read his slides.
Another technician ended up with a telescope. He had to move his office to the moon.
A third technician received a kaleidoscope. He never did get much work done after that, marveling at the pretty colors all day.
I got a colonoscope and got fired for pulling data out of my ass.

Mama’s Switch by Yordie

Mama’s Switch
by Yordie Sands

I was a naughty child. I got into things I shouldn’t.

One day while my mom wasn’t watching, I pulled her beautiful pink angora sweater off a hanger from her closet.

I slipped into the sensual garment. It was large and fit me like a long coat, but I pranced around in it.

Suddenly, the door opened. I’d been caught.

Without saying a word, mom walked out into backyard. She snapped off a branch from the lime tree and stripped off the leaves. Returning with it she declared:

“If you ever do that again, I’ll whip you with this switch.”

Washed Up

There’s an old joke that nobody wants to see a tsunami hit Los Angeles because there’s enough washed-up actors there already.
Too late.
I come across another body on the beach, tangled in seaweed.
She looks familiar. Maybe an actress, starred in a commercial or two.
Toothpaste?
Shoes?
Orange juice?
Something like that.
I snap a few photos, record the location, and call for a pickup as I stick a beacon flag in the sand.
Damn. My last one.
I hate it when they’re kids. That’s just sad, sadder than adults.
Another siren. Wave coming.
I run for higher ground.

The American Dream

A priceless treasure is missing.
We’ve lost The American Dream.
Have you seen it?
Check your pockets.
What pants were you wearing last night?
Your jacket. Turn those pockets out too.
No. It’s not there.
Where did you see it last?
Everywhere. In the hearts and hopes of every American.
But it’s not there anymore.
Where did it go?
Stolen? No.
Really, who’d steal it?
Not me either.
Have you checked behind the sofa?
No. It’s not there.
It’s not anywhere.
We’d better find it soon.
Because everyone’s starting to wake up.
And the coffeemaker’s broken.
Check your pockets again.

The Spell

There’s always a few parts left over when you fix it, right?
Well, the famous Maillardet Automaton is no exception.
Charles Roberts reconstructed the device without plans or diagrams back in 1928, and repairs were made in the Seventies and 2007.
The cams and disks inside cause the mechanism to make four drawings and three poems.
It used to write a fourth poem, but those disks were removed after a fire nearly destroyed the Franklin Institute.
Not really a poem, but a spell.
A doomsday spell, barely stopped.
Turn the crank again.
Watch the clockwork boy wink, grin, and laugh.

Hasten

Hasten your step, child, for we are in Dragon Country.
You’ve heard the tales of fire-breathing dragons, yes?
Well, they’re extinct. Knights hunted them down to the last.
Now that there are no more dragons to hunt, they sell dragon insurance.
No, not insurance to dragons. They’re extinct, remember?
They’re selling insurance to travelers like us. If we’re attacked by dragons.
Yes, I know there’s no dragons to attack us. But knights put on dragon costumes and attack travelers.
You’d think knights wouldn’t pull that kind of crap, but deep down, they’re assholes.
Shhhhhhhh! I hear it too!
Hurry up!

The Case of the Amber Rose of the Amazon – Part 16

“So these five plus the bookkeeper Evans allow us to remove all male possibilities for president of the firm.”

“Miss Hill and Miss Dale lack prodigy, Mrs. Brown lacks affection and Mrs. Kane lacks distance.”

“Walla, President Mrs. Ford”

“When all possibilities are removed the answer appears.”

“Very good Watson 20 years has served you well.

“But there are deeper clues to be had concerning the former Miss Grant and the reason for respective Miss Hill’s anger. Generations of turmoil set in motions with a single action. I digress Watson let me lay before you the players first, the janitor”

Weekly Challenge #355 – Switch

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic. (You were also challenged to come up with a Single Frame Story on the same topic.)

The topic this week was Switch.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

The next 100 word stories weekly challenge is on the topic of Suggestion.

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post… this obligatory cat photo should help make the Internet go faster:

Fluffyboy says hi


CLAIRE

Teddy threw the switch. The heavy machine hummed and spun up to full speed. It drew a lot of power, and dimmed the lights for a moment in the great house. Teddy dropped in the first few items and the sharp blades did their work without bogging down. Next, a few more items, some sweetener, and a bit of liquid to thin the pink slurry. He poured the finished blend into some tall glasses, serving his unaware house guests most of the annoying neighbor that made the mistake of irritating Teddy by playing his dammed accordion so late every night.

###

“Better switch than fight.” The new motto was posted inside the door of the clubhouse. The Khaki Scouts voted to allow girls, homosexuals, and transgender members into their organization. They had fought long and hard, using the power of the national council and the great church in Utah to ban certain applicants, but there was so much pressure and press against them the last few years, they gave in and re-thought their initial ban and organizational policies. Rather than fight the courts and lawsuits, they opened their membership to anyone who applied, except of course, ignorant, bald-headed coffee house proprietors.

###

Miss Tuttinhamshrope made sure all students saw the willow switch hung behind her desk. She had permission from all the parents to apply the switch to the backside of any student that talked back, spat, smoked, swore, talked out of turn, was tardy, wore their pants low, acted slutty, misspelled words, texted during lectures, answered out of turn, lied, cheated on exams and quizzes, bullied, were late with assignments, got out of their seat, wet their pants, burped, farted, made faces or teased, picked their nose, pulled hair, made obscene gestures, or showed any sort of disrespect to an adult.

###

The squirrel’s switch wiggled and almost vibrated with excitement, as it discovered a bag of unsalted cashews on the little deck off the kitchen. Grandma was cooking and “absent mindedly” left the cashews on the table. The hungry squirrel tore at the cellophane bag and some cashews tumbled out. As he chattered and barked, his friends and his mate came running to gather up what they could, stuffing them in their mouths and retreating to the nest, high in the tree. The following week, the squirrels had bags of peanuts left on the table, then pecans, walnuts, hazels and brazils.

JEFFREY

Switched at Birth
by Jeffrey Fischer

Although I grew up in a loving household, I always felt a little out of place. Where my parents were short and squat, I was tall and lean. They had dark, smooth skin, while I was light-skinned and hairy. They insisted on a protein-heavy diet; I was a vegetarian.

One day my suspicions were confirmed. A wandering minstrel said I was switched at birth, and my real parents had raised another child.

“This is terrible!” I said.

He insisted I had the better of the deal. “You are the heir to the kingdom.”

“But it’s the frog kingdom. I’m the prince of the frogs! What could be worse?”

The minstrel strummed a chord. “Well, young princeling, your true parents are chefs in a French restaurant.” He licked his lips. “Truth be told, the lad’s legs were delicious.”

***

A Different Perspective
by Jeffrey Fischer

My boarding school was big on discipline. Minor misbehaving earned you extra chores. Medium-sized trouble, like being caught smoking, got the extra chores and additional hours of phys ed. But major infractions brought out the switch, an old, rough one, with a well-worn handle. As the punishment was public, this was both painful and embarrassing.

When the boys took control of the school and kept the faculty as prisoners, we decided that turn about was fair play. But seeing Mr. Melmick’s bare ass quickly dissuaded us of that. From then on, misbehaving teachers just earned demerits.

LIZZIE

The monster inside

Sometimes there’s a feeling that makes the mind stray away. He flipped a coin. The break-up was so sudden and most of all foolish. Heads. He would look her up and make amends. Valentine’s was coming up and it seemed to be the right moment. She would be impressed and would leap into his arms, an open smile on her beautiful face. When he showed up at her door, a rose in hand, she had already moved on. She was going out with someone else. His mind roamed away once more, this time desperately trying to avoid the switch over.

TOM

Hand Cranked

Grandmother was displeased with me. She told me to go find a switch in the backyard. I had no idea what I did wrong, but by the dead look in her eyes I knew I must find an appropriate switch or risk raising the level of her discontent. So I cut off a willow branch about the thickness of my thumb and hoped for the best. Grandmother exam it and laughed. “No child one of these switches.” She connected the weathered switch to the magneto. Grandmother had been a gegeneur is Sothern Algeria. I woke up with three broken teeth.

SERENDIPITY

Number two yawned, scratching his crotch reflectively.

Number Three looked at him critically: “You’re becoming a bit of a porker!”

“Hey, you shut it! You’re jealous, just because you do all the running around”

“Hardly a job, is it… flicking switches?”

Number Three looked longingly at the invitingly large switch on the control panel…

“Can I, just this once…?”

“Bugger off!”

The bickering was interrupted by the telephone’s ring; Number Two snatched the handset.

“Yes boss! Immediately!”

“What did he say?”, asked Number Three.

“He said”, replied Jesus, reaching across and flicking the switch to ‘ON’…

“Let there be light!”

AEQUITAS

We called her Sergeant Major due to her fondness for corporal punishment. We were lined up outside her classroom for dinner. I had a green ticket. A green ticket meant your father had died. I was embarrassed so i was acting out. Sergeant Major heard me and brought me in to stand in front of her class and receive punishment. She used a leather strap rather than a switch. She put her body in to the swing of the strap making for an effective cracking noise as she delivered.

MUNSI

After the Adventure

By Christopher Munroe

…I’d switched the idol for a forgery. So by the time Heinrich’s crew found the temple and deactivated its booby-traps, I’d long since absconded with the treasure.

That’s where my troubles began.

I don’t know the first thing about fencing ancient artifacts, and I’d financed the expedition on money borrowed from people who wouldn’t accept “…once I find a buyer” in lieu of cash.

And to make matters worse, Heinrich will definitely figure out that I have the thing eventually.

He’s not stupid.

I expect this isn’t over…

…also, there’s a horrible curse, but that’s a story for another day.

TURA

“Mr. Benn visits Second Life”

Mr. Benn arrived at the costume shop, and went in. As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared. “I have something new today,” said the shopkeeper. “Would you like to switch bodies?”

“That sounds interesting,” said Mr. Benn. He chose a purple-haired anthropomorphic cat with a long, bushy tail. Then he went out by the other door, the one that might lead to adventures.

On the rolling green hills, all kinds of strange buildings popped into view around him. Some of them floated right up in the sky.

“Well,” he said, waving his new tail, “this will certainly be an adventure!”

DONDO

The bet was simple. If my team won, I decided on the date and what she’d wear, and if she won, she’d decide. Her team won, and I regret leaving the terms of the bet so open.
She said that we’d reverse roles tonight. She would hold the doors open, she’d pay for dinner, and she would wear the pants.
I went along with all of that, even wearing heels.
But I’m having trouble with her last request, how do I give up the one thing I’ve never shared?

I’ll cry when I hand her the keys to my Mustang.

WHISKEY

Switch on a Smile
“I learned at a young age how to tell truths cloaked in humor. If you can make someone laugh, you can say anything out loud. Even the darkest words aren’t so heavy when they’re framed in sarcasm or jest. And if I ever went too far, said too much, opened my mouth just a little too wide and let some of the scary stuff spill out, well, I could always switch on a smile and say, “I was just joking.” No matter. It was just a joke.”

STEVEN THE NUCLEAR MAN

“Daaaaaaad!”

I trudge half-asleep down the dark hallway. My feet are freezing on the hardwood floor.

“Daaaaaaaaa-”

I open the door mid-yell and survey the room. Nothing under the bed. Window closed. But there’s a red glow and hint of sulphur from the closet.

I grab the SuperSoaker from his shelf and open the closet door. A demon bares it’s teeth at me. I pull the trigger and cover it in holy water.

“Done,” I tell my son. “Now go back to sleep.”

“Can I have a drink of water?” he asks.

I raise the squirt gun again.

BOTGIRL

Screech! The car lurched to a halt. The acorn I’d thrown with all my might hit the driver in his face. I dropped from the tree and ran home. A minute later he pounded on our door. My father answered and took the brunt of the driver’s rage. Next thing I knew, I was getting spanked for the first time in my life. It didn’t go well. I was so upset that a blood vessel burst in my eye. My father sprained his wrist. That was also the last time I was spanked. Good thing he didn’t use a switch.

RICK

It all unfolded right there on the porch.
Them 5 bullies was goading the tall nerdy boys into a fight!
Both tall, skinny, wore glasses … and their mamas dressed them kinda funny!
The shorter nerd reckoned the taller boy was more scared and started in with some name callin and such.
The taller boy kept saying “I don’t wanna fight you”, then the mouthy nerd said “you’re just a damn yankee” …
… was like he’d flipped a switch!
The taller boy, lost it, punched him square in the face!
Knocked him out!
Blood everywhere!
Them bullies ought be ashamed of themselves!

CLIFF

You learn a lot when your parents are hillbillies. I’m sorry, Redneck Americans. Anyway, when I misbehaved as a kid, my dad would send me outside to get a switch off of one of the trees. He’d use it to raise welts on my backside. So this one time I thought I’d be funny. Instead of the woods, I went to the garage and brought back a light switch. Dad wired me up to a car battery and flipped the switch a few times. To this day, I can’t go in a hardware store without twitching just a little bit.

BONCHANCE AND SEVI

Bait N Switch

Pepe had a plan!
He knew that he was a born leader, he just needed followers!

Gain control of the minds of a bunch of troops and all else will fall into place.
Pepe traded his tea to a Chinaman for a thousand Hersey kisses.
How deep into the trenches could he get with these as his lure to join his plight.

I mean seriously, who can resist a milk chocolaty kiss?
Mind you these were specially laced milky kisses…
Just take out a bit of the center chocolate and switch it with the right drug and viola an army!

REDGODDESS

The hotel goes all out on Valentine’s Day. The penthouse suites are scattered in flower petals, couples with the Cupid Package get champagne. When did Valentine’s Day become a litmus test for relationships? Lola had made a switch to lower her expectations. No dates on February 14! Not sure when she lost the romance. Perhaps the thoughtless gifts of past lovers. She was almost in tears when she saw a book and a card leaning on her door. “I never liked poetry until I met you. I think of you when reading this.” Lola picked up a worn copy of Anais Nin. She smiled.

ZACKMANN

The villain tied her hostage to a railroad track then made the call “Give me a bazillion dollars or bad haircut boy has sung his last song”
The hostage started chanting “Oh baby baby baby Oh”
The young woman really really wished she had been able to gag her victim. She placed her phone where his screams could be heard, The train was coming at him fast or would have been if not changed directions at the switching station.
She asked “I won’t go overboard and kill you because then the radio would play your songs constantly for several months.”

NORVAL JOE

“Be ready to flip that switch when I shout ‘go'”, Flerdy told Borle, pointing to a silver toggle on the console.
Borle held out his hand, ready to act.
The hyperdrive capacitors screamed as they wound higher and higher.
Flerdy struck an ancient tuning fork and placed its base against the ship’s console. When the whining drives matched the fork’s tone, Flerdy screamed, “Go.”
With a flick, everything went black, inside the ship and out.
In the sudden silence, Flerdy said, “The switch engaged a string drive. It’s theoretical. We’ll have to wait to see if it takes us somewhere.”

Patrick groaned beneath a tremendous weight. He desperately sucked air into his burning lungs to keep from passing out.
“Do you give?” Mangus asked from his perch on his brother’s shoulder blades.
“No,” he wheezed.
“You’re a changeling, you know. Fairies came to switch the real Patrick for the worst kind of demon when you were just a wee babe.”
“You’re the demon,” Patrick cried at his brother.
The wiener dog smiled an evil grin. He knew he was the changeling. The malicious fairy who switched him with the Irish Wolf hound pup hadn’t been the cleverest of the bunch.

DANNY DWYER

“Do I hit the switch now?,” the conductor in training asked the experienced train conductor. “Ah, Ya, might be a good idea since we are speeding into the station.” The Trainee flicked the switch. The train suddenly slowed down, then calmly entered the subway platform, before coming to a swift, yet gentle stop. “What’s the trick to conducting a subway for as long as you have?,” the kid asked the senior. “Don’t become an alcoholic,” the conductor retorted. The Trainee replied, “Honestly, how did you conduct a subway for over 30 years without being an alcoholic?” “Just flick the damn switch.”

JUSTIN

Mars City, new foothold of the human race, and a new home of horror and death. The scientists unearthed something, and like any good scientist, they poked it, prodded it, and opened up a gate to Hell. Now Delta Labs is filled with demons and baby Satans, clawing at my armor, reaching for my soul. I hope this room has supplies. What? Lights switched off, I hear a door open… the hell? Demon with a chainsaw?! The only light is from the shotgun blasts, illuminating teeth, blood and chain. I’ve got to get a better post next tour of duty.

PLANET Z

We couldn’t trust Ted with a dog or cat.

Or a fish.
Or a mouse.
Or…

After we tried every pet in the pet store, we finally got Ted a pet can of soup.

That’s right. We gave Ted a pet can of soup.

It’s safe.
It’s cheap.
And we can always buy another.

Ted walked up and down the soup aisle, unable to select a can.

“I want to take them all home with me!” he cried.

“Just one,” I said.

In the end, he went with a packet of Lipton mix.

So it could fit in his pocket.