Welcome to the seventy-first Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Planet Z, and it was: Pink.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
SOMETHING NEW
Due to popular demand, I am going to include stories that were sent to me, but without a recording. However, since the midget has left for sunny Coral Gables, Florida, those stories will just be posted in the show notes. You’re more than welcome to vote for them, but they will be ineligible for prizes or topic selection.
I feel that this is a fair balance between the podcast and blog natures of this content.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this decision in the comments, and we might possibly come up with an even better and more fair policy for handling these kinds of situations.
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and let me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!
YXES
Two pills to choose…one white and one red.
The instructions say: “If you’re feeling blue, take one pill only.
Warning: May cause moments of colorific hallucinations.”
“I wonder what that means?” she contemplates.
She picks the white pill. The whole world turns white! Weird!
She takes the red pill. Everything around her turns red! Surreal!
“This can’t be all they do!” she ponders, then smiles impishly.
She takes one of each. Her head spins dizzily!
She slowly opens her eyes, in a state of heightened anticipation.
Astonished, she shouts out gleefully,
“Pink. Everything’s Pink! Absolute Perfection!”
DISMAY
Do you believe in fairies? I do.
I once met a strange salesperson. She said: “If you are lonely and you believe, plant this magical seed.” A stack of pink packages were sitting beside her.
I’m lonely, I thought. So I bought a package, went home, read the instructions and planted the seeds in a pot. I believe.
The next morning I found a tiny winged young woman, who strangely resembled the pop singer Pink, in the pot smiling up at me. She said, “Let’s get this party started.” It was a nice surprise, but I still wonder. Why Pink?
GUY DAVID
She wore a pink ribbon
And a pretty pink dress
Everyone loved dear Betty
She was the fairest of them all
Everyone brightened and cheered
As she walked past the street
Said “Hello” and “How are you?”
And gave her a treat
She also had many suiters
Standing in line at her door
Wanting to meet her
And maybe to score
She was generous with them
And let them inside
They always came out
Glowing pink and with pride
Eyes where turned back in wonder
As she wilded her ax
She murdered little children
And cut old ladies in half
MATTHEW
My blushing bride was beautiful in every way. Her face was soft and her smile was bright. She smiled coyly, as she approached the altar slowly. Her dress, so white and pure, offered no resistance, sliding smoothly on the floor.
“I do,” I said, and she did too.
Her cheeks grew further pink when I kissed her softly in front of all. Our lives ended here; a new life begun as one.
Only her life truly did end: a sudden attack of a heart full of joy. Her cheeks no longer pink. Into the cold of death she did sink.
TOM
Everyone has a nemesis. Who with rod and sword cuts one down to size. Sometimes that tester is huge dark and fiery. Sometimes the tester is gaunt pale frosty. Lawrence’s nemesis was Pink. A six foot bunny with a six foot rod. When Pink swung his sword he swore at Lawrence “Get bigger you bugger.”
On one occasion Lawrence lit up a match and placed it under his palm. Pink had no option but to do the same. After a minute the Bunny screamed and crushed the match.
“What’s the trick?” asked Pink
“Not caring.” said Lawrence growing larger then life.
LAIEANNA
Poor Timmy, size to small
Bullied by boys, one and all
On his way or at school grounds
They sought him out for a good face pound
All for a pink lunchbox with a tiny bell
That chimed lightly when he’d skip to his hell
“Why use that? Are you a girl?
Where are your laces and pretty pearls?”
Timmy held it with all kinds of pride
Whispering “There’s magic inside.”
They laughed and grabbed, flinging his lunch
Gone was his sandwich, and cheetos with crunch
Including his pudding, favorite flavor vanilla
But also came out was an angry gorilla
JD
Each state had a flag that men could rally to, charge up hills behind, carry in front of parades, you know, do all that swell stuff that makes for great stories while setting around the cracker barrel shooting the shi…you know what I mean.
Well the General wanted a flag for the whole country. What he wanted needed to symbolize the struggles of the past, the hopes for the future, the unity of the present.
Something that would make great propaganda.
Well, Betsy made a glorious flag.
And then she washed it.
In hot water.
Red, Pink, and Blue.
ELISSON
I tell the tale of Pincus Pink
Who lives under the kitchen sink.
Is Pincus crazy? Ask a shrink –
For Pincus is my friend.
The day I first met Pincus Pink
I saw him at the skating rink.
He drank a most peculiar drink –
A whiskey-prune juice blend.
Say what you will of Pincus Pink:
He does not care what others think.
He uses epithets like “Chink”
Which drives folks ’round the bend.
The living space of Pincus Pink –
It has a noticeable stink,
A pong to make a strong man blink,
And then his clothing rend.
CALEB
There is… Where?
There’s a rumor! Eek! Cut it out!
There’s a rumor going around and It’s making me dizzy.
There’s a rumor going around and round and around and where she stops nobody knows Whee!..
There’s a rumor going around about my seeing pink. Pink a dink a doo a dink a dee a dink a doo oh what a croon for tuning!… No.
There’s a rumor going around about my seeing pink ella… ella Fitzgerald, NO! Mel Torme? No!
There’s a rumor going around about my seeing pink elephants! But it’s not true! We’re just good friends… really!
CHRISTOPHER
Hey.
I’m bored.
Care to go skipping stones and feet on Saturn’s rings with me?
We can hitch a ride from the next passing comet.
Stop for a snack on Jupiter’s moons.
Swim in Neptune
and
console Pluto
before turning back.
On the way in, slide down the tail of a shooting star.
What do you say?
Let’s see what’s out there.
I’ll swing by in Haley’s ride around civil twilight.
Pick up a tank of gas in the sea of tranquility, then sling shot past the sun.
On more open stretches we’ll see what this thing
can
really
do.
Z
For some people, the shade of pink they were born with is perfectly adequate for their skin.
But for the vast majority, a little something different is needed.
Some red on their nails…
Perhaps a little something on the lips…
A little blue over the eyes, too?
How they achieve this change, well, that can be horribly expensive and quite possibly dangerous… and unhealthy.
To us, that’s what we call “profit.”
And if a few monkeys or bunny rabbits have to die, that’s too damn bad.
Besides, they’re much cheaper than the prisoners we used to test this crap on.
OTHER CRAP:
Carnal Knowledge is a book by one of my favorite daily podcasters, Charles Hodgson. I owe this podcast’s continues survival to his inspiration, since I often come up with my stories around the words he reviews and tales he spins about their odd origins.
If Garf isn’t too annoyed with my constantly screwing up the call to the show last week, well, I’ll be trying to drop by his High Tech Texan Show on Saturday to give a report on SL in business, that kind of thing.
There’s some kind of write-a-review podcast contest out there at Podcast Pickle going on.
Write reviews, win prizes. That sort of thing.
There’s also a way to write reviews for this podcast in iTunes and other directories.
Your Mostly Fearless Leader doesn’t command you to do so, but he is somewhat whinily cajoling and imploring you to do so.
Let a tiny slice of the world know how much you like or don’t like or could care less about this not-quite-so-bold endeavor.
Thank you.