Author: R.

This is an updated version of the Weekly Challenge that includes Elisson and Tom, which were borked by gmail.com issues. My apologies to everyone who’s voted so far… the polls have been reset.
Welcome to the seventy-six Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Caleb Bullen of the Black Tie Martini Club.
And it’s Ramadan.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
SOMETHING NEW
Due to popular demand, I am going to include stories that were sent to me, but without a recording. However, since the midget has left for sunny Coral Gables, Florida, those stories will just be posted in the show notes. You’re more than welcome to vote for them, but they will be ineligible for prizes or topic selection.
I feel that this is a fair balance between the podcast and blog natures of this content.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this decision in the comments, and we might possibly come up with an even better and more fair policy for handling these kinds of situations.
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

What were the best stories of Weekly Challenge #77?
	The Mad Bard of Planet Z
	Gomem DeSoto from The Gomem Show
	Paul
	Houston Keys from Tater Tots For The Masses
	Guy David from Guy David dot com
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
	Laieanna at Hodgepodge Point
	Tom from Footnote
	Elisson from blog d’Elisson
Free polls from Pollhost.com

WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and let me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!

---

MAD BARD Z

When Ramadan rolls around, my coworker Mohammed fasts during the day.
As the month drags on, he gets more and more irritated and angry.
I asked him why he puts himself through this. What is this all for?
He said that by denying the body nourishment, fasting is supposed to help focus the mind and the soul on spiritual needs.
“Oh,” I said. “I hope it’s working, because from my perspective, it just makes you cranky.”
Then he said “Aren’t you Jewish? Don’t you fast for your holy days?”
I thought for a moment. “Um… I’m supposed to fast? Oops.”

GOMEM

Ramadan, I dread ramadan, my car is always getting blocked in by
hoards of friggin’ taxis, as we have an office next the main city
mosque. I shout out “will you please move them friggin taxis”, all I
hear is “Allahu Akbar” in return. No I dont need a bloody taxi ride,
all I want is just to get my car out.

PAUL

In 2030 we program people. – memory inserts. Put knowledge, memories, the habits of greats onto a chip, and insert.
Normal becomes genius.
And better, people actually add knowledge, experience … great, ever towering brains built on silicon platforms.
What to do about Kreach Don?
Trained in Iraq, the old fashioned way.
Turned Serial killer — kids, mothers, girls, businessmen… even florists!
We don’t kill.. torture
What to do, what to do?
We build a special chip, a Read Only Chip. Fill it with all kinds of memories, very unpleasant, very punishing. Never changing, always fresh.
Then we ROM a Don.

HOUSTON KEYS

Muhammad Smith was famished. The fasting of Ramadan was a rough time for him.
He came across his buddies Muhammad Jones and Muhammad Lee. “Salaam Alekum Muhammad and Muhammad.”
“Alekum Salaam, Muhammad,” came the reply.
“Guys, I don’t know about you, but I am dying here, I would KILL for a pancake!”
“Hey Muhammad!” All three of them turned to see the newcomer, “Muhammad Muhammad al Muhammad racing across the street to meet them.
“Oh crap!” Muhammad said, “It’s Muhammad again.”
“I don’t know what is up with that guy,” was Muhammad’s reply. “He tries too hard, what an overachiever!”

GUY DAVID

– We learned about Red Man month today.
– The Red Man month?
– Well, Tati says that when the Red Men month comes, you can’t eat for the whole month and you pray to that man in pajamas that he let you eat, then he gives you an explosive belt and you can win 72 virgin, I don’t know what those are but I think they are also explosives and it’s fun, fun, fun.
– I think I’ll have a talk with Mrs. Tati. I don’t think she should be teaching you this staff.
– Daddy, can I have an explosive belt for Christmas?

CALEB

Ramadan Dan
He’s the Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
He brings toys
To all the little boys
To the girls he’s mean
Because they’re unclean
He’s Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
He knows you’re hungry
And you’re cranky
He’ll take pictures of your wife
And over them he’ll spank he’s
Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
While you’re starving
Just for Allah
Won’t you give this
Man a Dollar?
Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
“That’s not Funny!”

LAIEANNA

Fasting with purpose was Stan’s idea of impressing the health club
ladies. Most did it for health. He would have a religious
experience. After half-ass research into different belief systems,
Ramadan was picked because the month was coming up and no one he knew
was doing it. It still allowed eating at night, and he could
enlighten women to his cause during long hours at the gym. It was
decided till Bill informed him that intercourse from sunrise to
sundown (Stan’s peak action hours) was prohibited. He changed to
Buddhism. After all, the gym was only good for one thing.

TOM

Nurse Philps keep a watchful eye on Dr Actma. The intern was a double threat to Nurse Betty’s patients. The first concern was Doctor Ali’s 16 hours shifts. The second and more pressing was it was Ramadan. Nurse Philps trailed behind Dr. Actma as he made his rounds take note of any notation on a patient’s chart. If correction was needed she gently suggested it. As Ali moved across the floor he hear Betty laughing. “What now?” asked Ali. “Mrs. James is not scheduled for a prostate exam and most assuredly Mr. Juliet isn’t in need of a hysterectomy today.”

ELISSON

He stood on a promontory overlooking the Ross Ice Shelf, surveying the desolate ruins. His tears froze on contact with the cold air. Antarctic summer was very different from summer in the desert where he had grown up. An involuntary shiver seized him.
The training camp had been set up in a remote location so as to avoid the omnipresent Allied sweeps. It had worked – for a while. Who would think to seek al Qaeda here, of all places?
Ramadan had been their undoing.
A month-long daylight-hours fast was tough in the land of Midnight Sun. Only Ibrahim remained.

Welcome to the seventy-fifth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by a committee of three: Elisson, Chris, and Caleb.
That’s right: Popeye, Movies, and Reflection.
And people actually wrote stories about all three. Imagine that.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
SOMETHING NEW
Due to popular demand, I am going to include stories that were sent to me, but without a recording. However, since the midget has left for sunny Coral Gables, Florida, those stories will just be posted in the show notes. You’re more than welcome to vote for them, but they will be ineligible for prizes or topic selection.
I feel that this is a fair balance between the podcast and blog natures of this content.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this decision in the comments, and we might possibly come up with an even better and more fair policy for handling these kinds of situations.
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

Which were the best stories in Weekly Challenge #75?
	Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
	Robin from Hospice
	Tom of Footnote
	Guy David from Guy David dot com
	Elisson of Blog d’Elisson
	JD White
	Laieanna at Hodgepodge Point
	The Mad Bard From Planet Z
Free polls from Pollhost.com

WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and let me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!

---

CALEB

Popeye sat alone in the theater after everyone else had left. No matter how many times he watched The Seventh Seal it always left him uncharacteristically contemplative. He thought of death and how it had long been with him. There beside him when he fought the goons on Goon Island or when he accidentally killed Bluto saving Olive Oyl; beside him when he couldn’t stop Sweapee from falling off that girder. He became suddenly aware that death in the flesh was sitting right next to him in the theater and that now he too must go.
“Well Blow Me Down!”

ROBIN

Knowing life’s reflections would be enhanced by spinach, I carried a fresh bag and an some Popeye movies to this hospice admission.
His gray appearance faded fast, mocking me with “Yuk, Yuk”.
“This is it, huh?”
“No, Popeye. The beginning.” I moved his pipe stably into crinkled lips.
After paperwork signing cartoon characters up for hospice, we discussed children who secretly admired him through adulthood. Gently massaging his weakening arms, I whispered “goodbye”.
Suddenly, his demeanor changed. Another patient discharged from hospice due to improvement. Children’s hopes, spinach, and the stabilized pipe ignited him into a superhero.
Hospice is amazing.

TOM

Hi Kids is time for the Movies?
Noooooooooooooooooo
Its Thimble Theatre Time
With all your old friends
Olive Oyl
Harold Ham gravy
Castor Oyl
Popeye
and Bernice the Whiffle Hen
That reminds me kids
want to get your very own
Whiffle Hen good luck charm
just like the one that Popeye
uses in his weekly adventures?
All you got to do is mail in 40 box tops
from that breakfast of Champions Wheaties
in the bright orange box found across
the land in local A & P stores.
Tonight’s exciting adventure is called
The Cure of the Reflection Pool

GUY DAVID

There was a sound like thunder, then a reflection, a bright overseeing light and a strange clicking noise, then a rift was opened in the space-time continuum. Through the rift we could see a broken umbrella that looked like an elephant, an old orlogin clock that always chimes on the 13th hour, an old movie starring Robin Williams as Popeye and an old man with a black robe, wielding an axe that looked like a feather, then, the storm was over, the rift closed, and a new day was born, right between Saturday and Sunday. We called it Warfday.

ELISSON

The sailor walked down Main Street, occasionally catching a glimpse of himself reflected in a store window. He moved with a peculiar gait, swinging his ridiculously muscular forearms, hitching up his pants fore and aft with each step.
Years of salt beef, biscuit, and grog had blocked his bowels such that only an exophthalmos-inducing strain could clear them. For him, Popeye was more than a name; it was a way of life.
But today he was happy, for he was planning to take Miss Oyl to the movies. And, he thought, perhaps one day she’d be his wife, Olive Eye.

JD

I saw a movie at a Drive-in in 1970.
It was called “Reflections in a Golden Eye”.
It stared Taylor and Brando.
It had a lot of yelling, a lot of guzzling of booze and a lot of sex talk.
Even got to see Liz in a white slip.
That was before both she and Brando got fat and old.
I am not sure that I remember much of the movie, except for Liz’s bare back, because they showed a Popeye cartoon before the movie and I keep getting the plots confused.
I seem to remember Brando eating spinach.

LAIEANNA

Alright everyone, let’s settle down. Today we are going to watch a movie.
Hey kids! It’s Popeye! I wansta talk to you about something very
important called self esteem. Self Esteem means having confidence in
who you are. Do yous get picked on in school for the things yous wear
or the way yous talk? (speech impesiment) Does bullies push you
around cause your hair is different or you wears glasses? (oh ah four
eyes) Well, just remember that no one’s the sames. When yous go
home, look at your reflection and says to yourselves… I amz what I
amz.

MAD BARD

Leaning against the mirror, his massive forearms bulging, Popeye stared at his reflection and sighed.
The days of Segar’s cartoons were long gone. His star had faded, trailers and hotel suites on location were now communal bathrooms in the back of the porn studio.
As long as there was a market for nostalgia-minded perverts, the movies would be made.
And they paid.
Popeye washed his face and walked back to the studio.
Sure, Bluto was ramming his co-star from the other end and she looked like she had beachballs strapped to her chest, but it was better than nothing, right?