Category: Weekly Challenge

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Whenever he saw another pirate with a hook hand or pegleg, he’d cringe at the thought of getting hurt that badly.
He kept a first aid kit with him, and if he got as much as a paper cut, he’d spray Bactine on it, slather on antibiotic, and then cover it with a Band Aid.
Not a small one either. One of the big ones.
Then he’d wrap it all in medical tape.
His crewmates liked to pull the bandages off of George slowly, just to watch him wince.

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
When he rowed his boat, he didn’t row it gently down the stream.
Nor did he row it merrily. He was usually quite angry when he rowed his boat.
Usually, because his shipmates had put him in the rowboat while he slept, cut the mooring line, and sailed off.
George rowed as hard as he could, and then he’d get out his spyglass and try to locate the ship.
That’s when George would wake up from the dream…
And he was still in the boat, exhausted, dying of exposure.

• Scribbling Wren
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Jared
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: PICK TWO Forward, Oblique, Exterior, Black hole, Videotape, Stakes

SCRIBBLING WREN

The New Term

Paul has changed his name. It’s helped him get a job at one of the most exclusive private schools in the country. Their intake is small but each year there’s always a few new girls.

He’s working as a caretaker and is upstairs cleaning when they arrive. He props on his mop to watch the parade of posh cars screech to a halt on carefully combed gravel.

The girl’s uniforms are crisp, with blazers slightly too long in the arm. There’s a smell of freshly sharpened pencil lingering in the air. He licks his lips ready for a clean start.

RICHARD

Sharp intake of breath

My sharp intake of breath had nothing to do with my son, against all odds, getting good exam results.

You might think it was because, totally unexpectedly, he had straight ‘A’s in every subject he’d taken, but even then, you’d be wrong.

You’d be getting slightly warmer if you thought my shocked expression and nervous laugh were consequences of learning that his success had secured him a place at the top university in the country.

But, that’s still not it.

My sharp intake of breath was solely due to the obscene amount it would cost me to send him there!

LIZZIE

They told him no one would force him to eat only fruit and he was fine with that. He would eat meat too. “Not here, you won’t,” they said, smiling that placid smile of veggie eaters. But he knew what to do. He’d eat their fruit and then he’d sneak out. He was only there because she forced him to go. “You need to lose weight.” Well, not by eating a ton of fruit, he thought.
When they caught him at the local diner, eating a steak, they cried. “Poor animal.” He was offended and replied “I’m not an animal!”

TOM

And the moment passed

Barry stared at a square foot of the wall in front of him. Every molecule of that square chronicled his life and though not judgmental mocked him all the same. He had taken a job as an intake clerk. A summer job which would lead to a position of power and importance. He was going places. What happen to poor Barry can only be explained as the weight of the Patrick Principle: you lower to the level of your least skill. If there is a glass ceiling there has to be a glass floor. On it is written: Intake clerk.

As the reason for my Absence

To understand how my oldest friend ended his life turfed from one medical corporation to another we’ll need a bit of geographic background. California is insanely wealthy. No, I mean streets paved with gold wealthy. Each part of the state has its own product of wealth. Hollywood, Silicon Valley, Militar Industrial Complex, damn Tesla. Our little corner of paradise is grapes. In Wine Country families rule and the head of those family fear nothing so much as the dark shadow of death. You can’t believe the amount of cash they pour into hospitals. Heavy on cardio, we are talking wings

SERENDIPIDY

Weight control is simple: It’s just a matter of balancing food intake with how much energy you expend.

Eat less, move more and you’ll lose weight.

On the other hand, eat more and move less, and the pounds will pile on.

Since you’re unable to move at all, and the feeding tube is working overtime, I think you can see where this is going…

And, once you’re so obese you couldn’t move, even if you wanted to, I’m going to slit your throat, cut you into pieces, and enjoy feasting on your flesh.

I’ll freeze whatever I can’t use immediately.

TURA

Tura Brezoianu
Attachments
Sat, Apr 22, 5:43 PM (13 hours ago)
to me

Intake
———
“I’m God. Ask me anything.”

A sharp intake of breath went through r/AMA, and the questions started.

“Why is there evil?”

“You run the show, that’s the deal.”

“What about natural disasters?”

“It builds character.”

“Can you make a rock so heavy you can’t lift it?”

“It’s called a black hole.”

“Do we have free will?”

“I knew you’d choose to ask that!”

“What must I do to be saved?”

“Treat people right, listen to your parents, eat your greens, walk a few miles every day. You already know this. What were you expecting?”

“What are you expecting?”

“Surprise me.”

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s super powers made the old man hanging below him almost weightless. He would regain all of his weight if Billbert just opened his hand.
Billbert shook the man. “How high do you think you’d bounce?”
With a quick intake of breath, the man shouted, “She’s in a well to the north. Just put me down in the cabin, first, and I’ll take you to her.”
“I’m not as dumb as you look,” Billbert said. “Take me to Linoliamanda. Then I’ll let you go.”
Billbert dropped low enough for Sabrina to hear him. “Follow me. We’re going to get Linoliamanda.”

JARED

An Exercise in Dialogue: Jargon and Atmosphere

Klaxons screeched as red alert beacons flared to life.

“Operations, report,” Captain Klein ordered.

“Sar, we have reports of fires on all decks. It appears to have spread through ventilation shafts,” Ops Commander Willis answered. “The fire suppression system is bringing most under containment,” she continued.

Capt. Klein turned to their Science officer. “Where did this come from, Le?”

“Not certain, Captain, but the perimeter breach was via the propulsion system’s atmospheric flight coolant intakes,” Lt. Le answered.

“Those should be fully sealed while underway. We need answers as to how they opened during standard NVoS operations,” the captain declared.

PLANET Z

They stripped me naked, put me in purple scrubs, and wheeled me over to a suicide watch room.
Strapped to a bed for 12 hours without food or sleep while an intern watched me.
I did get some water. And pissed in a jug.
Then I was wheeled to an ambulance, dumped into a room with chairs bolted to the floor.
I used the pen from the intake forms to write out notes on a paper shopping bag I found on the floor.
Pulling the wire from my facemask, thinking to myself: should I stick it in an electrical socket?

• Scribbling Wren
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Jared
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Intake

SCRIBBLING WREN/LISA

“Better now? Now?”

Sally the optician had stopped caring before Harry sat in the chair. Harry wasn’t bothered either. He’d made ‘Silly Mistakes’ at work so they’d sent him for an eye test but they were paying and it was in company time.

“Better now?”

He started randomly saying what made him see clearer.

“Better now?”

Sally didn’t notice and prescribed glasses that would make things much worse at Harry’s work.

The receptionist who was concentrating on counting the hours’ til home time typed the amount wrong in the card reader, this mistake quadrupled the bill.

No one ever noticed.

RICHARD

All this…

I remember the day my father stood at my side and proclaimed, “One day, all this – as far as the eye can see – will be yours.”

I looked at him cynically. “But, dad, I can only see as far as the back wall, that’s what… Twenty feet?”

He nodded sagely, “Therein lies an important lesson. You’re stuck with what life gives you. Even if it’s small, appreciate its worth.”

I took his words to heart, sold the land to a property developer for a small fortune, and bought a country estate that extends as far as the eye can see!”

LIZZIE

“As far as the eye can see, the blue ocean, a nothingness filled with promises of many tomorrows. A certainty of the soul. A timeless motion forward. Perhaps even…”
“What on earth are you talking about, man?!”
The raft drifted aimlessly.
“We’re lost. We’re going to die and you’re blabbering crazy stuff.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes. You’ll start seeing things soon.”
“You mean… Like that dragon?”
“Yes, like that dragon… Good grief man, there are no dragons.”
The dragon swallowed them whole and burped. Not tasty, not tasty at all. Skinny, dehydrated humans. Nope, never again. Heartburn was a killer.

TOM

Major Tom

As far as the eye can see there were stars. It takes a bit getting uses to the stationary effect. On earth the stars spin across the horizon. In space the dance is frozen. With no up or down or much of a right or left the sense of fall is overwhelming. I time my breathing to the beating of my heart and fix my focus a single star. The light I see left that star millions of years ago. Any civilization that light fell upon has long since turn to dust. When the oxygen runs out so will I.

As To the Reason for My Absence

I didn’t write for about a year. Figure it was the end of my podcasting career. From time to time, I would listen to the challenge, I noted Norval Joe was close to having his first 100 stories in a row. I wanted to celebrate that milestone, so I wrote a story to him. Then one the next week. One foot in front of the other. That was many years ago, over a decade. I have Phil to thank for my return. I promise myself I would never let events keep me from post weekly. Then death two happen: Jim

SERENDIPIDY

It crops up all over the place: On banknotes, coats of arms, seals, and in the insignia of clubs, societies and religious orders, all over the world.

It is the All-Seeing-Eye, and it pervades every aspect of our lives, watching our activities, monitoring our every move, and overseeing our transactions.

Nothing is hidden, nothing is secret and our lives are laid bare before it.

It’s watching you, and you’d better be sure that what it sees is good, wholesome and charitable.

Because, there will be consequences!

And, as far as the eye can see, yours will be unfortunate!

TURA

As far as the eye can see

———

God created three minor gods, who knew God not. They contended who should rule the world.

“I will have as far as the eye can see,” said the first, whose eyesight was so sharp he could see the back of his own head. He rules the lands of the Earth.

The second claimed, “As far as the eye cannot see.” Everything that is underground became his realm.

The third claimed, “That which lies between,” and so rules the waters and waterways.

The three dispute their boundaries, and this creates storms, earthquakes, and tsunamis.

God looks down and does not speak.

NORVAL JOE/PHILIP CARROLL

The old man sneered at Billbert. “Your friend is nearby, but you’ll never find her.”
Sabrina was coming around so he sloughed her off his shoulder, took her hand and levitated back up into the sky. They looked for where Linoliamanda could be stashed, but only the tops of trees extended as far as the eye could see.
Billbert dropped back into the cabin and set Sabrina down.
“You won’t tell me where she is,” Billbert said, grabbed the man by the front of his robe and shot above the trees.
The man dangling, Billbert laughed. “Don’t tell. Just point.”

JARED/JRADIMUS

Dramatic Irony Bites Like a Rabid Monkey

Our hero had been exposed to enough ‘genie media’ that he should have known about the mischief behind genies’ wish granting. I guess something about the spectacle of a genie erupting from a magic lamp disrupts rational thought, because when Harvey found himself in this fantastical scenario, he didn’t even pause before he wished:

“First, I want to be a licensed realtor. Next, I want to get into the millionaire’s real estate market. Then, I want to dominate that market as far as I can see.”

These were the words that have haunted him since the accident that blinded him.

PLANET Z

I went down the stairs, opened the vault doors, and looked down the corridor.
Alcoves along the stone walls, niches with bones as far as the eye could see.
The Friar patted me on the shoulder.
“One day, you’ll join them.”
I walked along the corridor, sometimes there was a worn rusty plaque.
Fragments of paper, chalk marks on the stone wall.
“Only they know who they were.”
Forty years later, I was the one wearing the robes.
Leading acolytes down the stairs to the vault doors.
And reminding them that they’re mortal.
And telling them: “Make your life count.”

• Scribbling Wren
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Tura
• Jared
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: As far as the eye can see

SCRIBBLING WREN

The Blinding

In the beginning was the bird. One bird: a magpie, with an ‘oil in a puddle’ sheen across his outstretched wing. They had said a single magpie was bad luck, but then hordes arrived. A global power outage shut down all communication, if the internet still worked Hitchcock would almost certainly be trending on Twitter.

The first to be enucleated was a toddler playing on the swings. His whelps swept across the grass, met more chilling screams before horror filled the park.

With an iridescent flash, the attackers disappeared as quickly as they’d come.

But the darkness had already fallen.

RICHARD

School’s Out

I was never cut out to be a teacher, not just because I hated kids and – let’s be honest, kids tend to hate me too – but I was also horribly ill-suited to the job.

The school I taught at was so understaffed, we had to turn our hands to almost any subject. No problem for my more academically inclined colleagues, but when you’re a sports coach, teaching chemistry is, at best, hit and miss!

I made most of it up, scrawling incomprehensible, unintelligible formulae on the blackboard.

The class: blinded by pseudo-science!

Somehow, I got away with it.

TOM

Marleen Walker

Marleen Walker glided across the checked linoleum tiles towards the old brown easy-chair. A lingering hint of Old Spice and Luck Strikes brushed her cheek. She thought it was pretty funny how the scent of a person could with crystal clarity reconstruct her father’s presents. He lived the last six months in that ragged old chair. She could still mark out the decaying of his senses and towards the end the blinded of the light, both the inner and outer. Her body told her cry, but to so would be to cross a hard line. Later she said, always later.

As To the Reason for My Absence

Emuire was my cat. I taught her how to swear. And she did often. She did not care for the many other cats who would be abandon at out last house on the right below the tiny pump house on the hill. Emuire was a three legged cat and moved with a grace of motion you didn’t actually see you experienced it. Ask any owner of a three legged pet. Emuite lived to 15 and the day I had to force myself to the vet to end her pain all the stories in my head hide in a corner not available to me.

SERENDIPIDY

Do you know of anyone who actually has been blinded by looking directly at the sun? I’m pretty sure you don’t, and I’m equally sure that, at some point in your life, you’ve given it a go yourself, just for a moment, perhaps just through barely open eyelids? Right?

Did it blind you?

Maybe it hurt a little, and no doubt you were troubled by disorientating after images, but you weren’t blinded were you?

Nobody ever is.

Let me tell you why you really shouldn’t look at the sun.

Better still, take a look for yourself, a good long look!

LIZZIE

Dusk set in. The black panther remained seated on his pedestal, his back to the water, watching the humans getting ready to wrap up their day. It was that time again. They didn’t know. But that old witch had taught him well. She had showed him who to snatch and when. The next morning, they would wonder. How? Why? When? Who did this? As the morning approached, he’d go back to being a statue. A statue on his pedestal, the one they revered, the one they looked up to for protection. Dusk set in and he waited on his pedestal.

TURA

Blinded

————

Deprived of ordinary vision, the Blind Sage speaks with inner vision. Petitioners must make an arduous mountain ascent of many days to speak with him.

One asked, “How can I become rich?”

The sage answered, “Want what you have.”

He asked again, “No, I mean, how can I get lots of money?”

The sage answered, “Be of value to others.”

He protested in exasperation, “What wisdom is this? Why can’t you talk sense?” and tramped off back down the mountainside.

The sage replied to the empty air, “Because there are none so blind as those who will not see.”

————

NORVAL JOE

My twin brother was killed in a hit and run when he was riding his bicycle this morning. He rode every Saturday. I don’t know if he was blinded by the car’s headlights and run off the road, or if he was hit from behind. The details aren’t in yet.
Roger liked to laugh. He was a ventriloquist, a magician, a musician, an accountant, and he loved cats.
We ran a half marathon together last month. He said that was probably going to be his last, as he preferred to ride his bike. Looks like it was. I’ll miss him.

PLANET Z

Sometimes, Delores forgot to wear her charging mask, and she needed to wear induction loop glasses to power her eyes during the day.
The rims were thick, and a cable ran along her ear to the battery pack in her shirt pocket.
The optical system offered notifications and overlays as reminders and identification enhancements, but Delores kept those turned off.
So now and then, she’d wake up blind, fumbling for her glasses.
The first time she forgot to charge her battery pack, she told Alexa to deliver a fresh one.
She sat in the dark, waiting patiently for the doorbell.

JARED/JRADIMUS

Not by the Light

Harvey was still ecstatic. Beyond, even. Just before the end of the day, he closed on the biggest real estate deal he’d ever been part of, and he and the rest of the agents just closed out a bar on the biggest bar tab he’d ever been part of.

Walking to his car, he was jostled off the sidewalk and almost fell over. When he regained his balance, he looked up and could only see the headlights of an oncoming vehicle.

He survived, but with the injuries he sustained, the car’s lights were the last thing he would ever see.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Tura
• Jared
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Blinded

JARED

WC 883 PICK TWO
A Hip Double Dip
No one could figure out why Roderik spent $12,000 a year for membership in an obscure historical heritage society. They thought the Gothic Heritage and Historical Society sounded made up and pointless. As far as he saw it, it was money well spent. As a history teacher with traceable Visigothic ancestry, he got his membership for half price. As a member, he gets tax credit for the dues, and exemptions on his presidential salary. The group is tax exempt for all donations they receive. And as long as no one tattles, he can keep on being the only member.

WC 884 Shenanigans
Shenanigans
“Shenanigans!” The bar fell silent. “I. Call. SHENANIGANS!” The old man repeated, bellowing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” responded Steven, hesitantly.
“By the terms laid out in the 2036 Treaty of TikTok, which ended the Internet Prank Wars, you’ve attempted an April Fool’s joke, and I’ve called you on it,” Old Man McCluskey lectured.
There was a mixed response from the rest of the patrons, but most of them nodded in acquiescence of McCluskey’s irrefutable legal standing.
“As is now my right,” he continued, “I will administer the public flogging with the requisite wet noodle. Now bend over.”

NORVAL JOE

Billbert felt Sabrina’s forehead. He was in a quandry. He needed to get her cooled down. He also needed to take advantage of the chaos caused by pulling the roof from the cabin to save Linoliamanda. He struggled to get Sabrina over one shoulder and leapt into the air.
Landing in the back room of the cabin, he looked for his friend.
The old man burst into the room, shouting, “What shenanigans are going on here?”
Billbert gritted his teeth. “That’s a good question. Where is Linoliamanda?”
The man scoffed. “What did you expect, that I would bring her here?”

SERENDIPIDY

The night of the full moon is when we get up to all kinds of shenanigans.

It starts innocently enough, with knocking on doors and running away, but soon progresses to vandalism, bricks through windows, breaking and entering and kidnap.

Then we drag our hapless victims onto the hillside, strip them naked and cut out their hearts on the sacrificial altar as an offering to the gods.

After, it’s back down to the village for a communal supper in the community hall.

It’s tradition, and traditions die hard around these parts.

So do those who choose to complain about us!

TURA

Shenanigans
———
Shenanigans are benign swellings that develop on the flanks of elderly Alsatian dogs.

No, actually they’re maggotty cysts that develop on the bellies of horses. When mature, they drop off and split open on the ground. The emerging horseflies go on to lay their eggs in the bellies of horses, continuing the cycle.

No, the Shenanigans are an Irish rock band.

It’s an Irish version of cullen skink. It’s an Irish jig. It’s a metaphorical jig: “dancing the shenanigans” means underhanded tricks.

It’s a word game of making up new meanings for everyday words.

What do you think it means?

TOM

Descended from Kings

I grew up a third generation American Irish. Which isn’t as bad as being third gen American German, but not as cool as being seventh generation North American French. So, what do get after a century of assimilation, basically what George Carlin would call the: ear. You key in on the sounds that sound Irish. Take shenanigans. Yup, Irish that. We got a pretty good idea about what it means, but what does it mean. Etymologists say it might come from the Irish “sionnachuighim,” meaning “I play the fox. To pull a shenanigan is prompt a greater one in return.

As To The Reason for my Absence

In the 100-word challenge there are a number of mythic designations. Take both the Golden Monkey and Iron Monkey, please. One a total of 100 posted stories and the other the impressive 100 stories in a row. That’s a two-year marathon. Not easy to do. Many of us here have multiple monkeys, not a helpful item in an efficiency apartment. But despite our collective commitment to posting, some weight too heavy to hold, will break us to the ground. Often health, but always some grief of death. It has happened twice in the last two decades. First the death of Emuire.

RICHARD

Granny Shenanigans

‘Granny Shenanigans’ we used to call her. It was one of her favourite words, frequently employed to berate us and put us in our place, whenever we got ourselves into mischief.

“Stop those shenanigans right away, or it’s the naughty step for you!” She’d bellow from upstairs. Instantly we’d stop misbehaving and calm down, terrified of being consigned to the naughty step.

That bottom step was as far up the stairs we were allowed to go.

Only granny and her girls were allowed in the bedrooms, together with the gentleman callers.
And who knows what shenanigans they were up to?

LIZZIE

The class went on a field trip to an Alice in Wonderland theme-park.
At some point, one of the kids yelled “Snake!”. No one reacted. He was the official prankster.
When he yelled “Snake!” again, a girl saw a giant red-eyed snake coming out through the wall. She yelled “Snake!”
“It’s fake,” the kids laughed. “It’s just to scare us.”
The problem was that, when they left the theme-park, the teacher was missing and only half of the kids managed back.
“Where’s everybody?!” Asked the parents.
“In the exhibition. Literally. The snake did it.”
“How?!”
“We are all victims in-waiting.”

PLANET Z

When there’s a prank on campus, everyone looks at Joey. He’s The Prankster. It’s not just having the tools and mechanical skills. It’s knowing people and who can help you with your prank, or who to prank and how and when.
He started with little pranks, like dyeing the fountain water pink. He graduated to hacking the security system so it locked every door. Even the bathrooms. Then, one morning, everyone woke up to the campus being rotated by 90 degrees. Joey, as usual, denied everything. Then he’d smile and wink. And get started on his next, even bigger prank.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Shenanigans

RICHARD

Meltdown

According to the computer metrics, the core was overheating.

Sirens blared and warning lights strobed amber, steam filled the corridors, escaping from valves never intended to cope with critical pressures.

Frantic telephone calls were made by panic-stricken men, beaded with sweat, while others ran from terminal to terminal, frantically typing commands to abort.

In the lower levels, grim-faced engineers donned protective suits and masks, knowing their fate was sealed.

I hit the pause button, and made my way to the kitchen for another cold beer.

I should have chosen a comedy. Disaster movies are just too damn predictable.

LIZZIE

The guy dressed in black, black eyeliner, black nail polish, black moon tattooed on his cheek.
“Metrics,” he said.
I didn’t understand what metrics had to do with the tattoo.
“Measures of quantitative assessment,” he said.
I had questions.
The fireplace in the gazebo illuminated the cracked pavement.
“Beautiful,” he said.
For a moment, I thought he meant me. I looked frantically in all directions, assessing my quantitative measures of evasion.
He meant the moon.
This wasn’t going well, I had to admit.
Did he even notice I was there? Cracked pavement… Beautiful… More like a cracked brain, in black.

TOM

Blue Collar Blues

My Dad had many jobs in his life. But he had one job most of his life. He was four years old when Social Security was created and through those many different employments accrued the magic 40 quarters to qualify. Never got a penny of it. Government considered it double dipping. The years in the post office wiped it away. What can you do. Follow in my father’s footsteps I had many jobs and one job most of my life. I was an Educator for 20 years. My highest wage never went into Social Security. Screw from a different direction.

As to Reason for My Absence

Jim and I started podcasting in Aug. of 2005. Started with three shows a week. At my peek was doing seven a week did that for three years. I also had a play list of about 15 weekly podcasts. If I was going to add one more to the list it had to be short, way short. What could be short that a story only 100 words long. That is how I found Mr. Simon’s podcast. I had not intention of sending in a story, I came to listen. Well challenge #16 was the first one I tried. I’ve posted just north of 1000 stories.

SERENDIPIDY

Edward was a typical goth. He habitually dressed in black, with lots of chains, wore dark make-up, avoided the sun, and hung around on street corners acting terminally morose.

Even so, I had the hots for him but, as far as he was concerned, I didn’t even exist.

I tried so hard to get his attention, but still I may as well have been invisible, and eventually, I stopped making the effort.

But not before I’d pounded him into a pulp for daring to ignore me.

You can still see the cracked pavement from where I smashed his skull in.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert squeezed Samantha’s shoulders again. “I know you can do it. Bring in a tornado.”
As he said it, a massive tornado appeared over the trees. Picking up pine needles and other debris it dipped down just in front of the cabin, hopped over it, dipped again and spun away toward the mountains.
“You missed it,” Billbert shouted.
“I’m trying. I’m trying,” Sabrina cried as another tornado twisted toward the cabin. Her shoulders were growing warm against Billbert’s palms and as the cabin’s roof pulled away exposing all inside, Sabrina dropped to the ground, her face red and burning hot.

PLANET Z

Workers dug up the sidewalk because of a broken water pipe.
It took a day to fix, and there’s cones and warning tape around the hole in the walkway tonight.
People walking their dogs, not picking up the shit.
I saw a guy looking at his cell phone, his dog pulls him the wrong way, and he goes through the warning tape and into the hole.
An ambulance came… and he’s on the phone, screaming he’s going to sue.
“He’s so full of shit,” I tell a cop, “It’s his fault.”
And the cop takes down my number for later.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Cracked pavement, Double dip, Goth, Educator, Overheating, Metrics

NOTE: WordPress on this provider is having some issues with posting on a schedule. I’ll add Publish to my daily to-do list to see if I can get these up more reliably, okay?

LISA

He Just Wanted a Friend.

He’d been sat building a tower when his Mum noticed it wasn’t very tall. She asked where his other blocks were but he didn’t answer. She was used to that. He was a very quiet child.

Three decades later following a long police surveillance operation their garden was excavated. They found twenty five Duplo blocks with names scratched into them. In the same corner of the garden they revealed twenty five cat skeletons.

All the other remains they unearthed were human. The newspapers suggested that due to the high volume discovered the identification process was expected to take considerable time.

RICHARD

Adblock

I’m a big fan of ad blocking software. I can’t do much about the advertising drivel that I’m subjected to on TV, radio, junk mail and every available surface wherever I go outdoors, but when I surf the web, it’s a haven of commercial-free joy.

Well, mostly: Some manage to sneak through the net, it’s a constant battle trying to keep up with every new intrusion.

That’s why I think it’s high time to block those responsible for the ads… Web designers, advertising consultants, and the companies who pay for the damn things.

With bullets, and bombs, if necessary!

LIZZIE

The signal is blocked. We can’t get through. I’m leaving this note. There’s food for five days. After that… I don’t know. I’m in my bunker. Perhaps we won’t need food for five days. I go out at night to get my share from the warehouse. They hand it over through a small window. I never talk to anyone. I tried waving hello, but no one waved back. Now, when I see someone else, I cross the street and walk away. By the way, if I don’t make it, they’re all in the Mayor’s pool. And no, they’re not swimming.

TOM

Basically Flat and Straight

In Chicago, a “city block” has a very specific definition—660 feet. 8 “city blocks” equal one mile. The numbering reflects this in that at the beginning of each city block, the numbering increases by 100. Chicago Ave. is 800 and 8 city blocks (a mile north) of that is North Ave. at 1600 N. New York does not have a uniform system like this, thus New Yorks sucks. Tell me any two addresses in Chicago and I can tell you their distance apart in miles. Show me any two blocks in summer and I tell there is a Block Party.

SERENDIPIDY

It’s always tough being the new kid on the block: You have to be thick-skinned, hard-headed and prepared to fight.

Some might say I took it all a little too seriously, and fought a little too hard, but I’ve never been a pushover, and I don’t put up with any nonsense.

I wasn’t the new kid for long, I made sure of that and soon I was running, not just the block, but the whole neighbourhood.

I did it for all new kids on the block, everywhere.

Such a shame then, that there’s no kids left here, now.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert settled himself and Sabrina down in the firs and ferns a hundred yards away from the cabin. He turned to her. “Come on Sabrina, use your imagination. I’ve seen on the weather channel where a tornado comes down a city block and only takes the roof off of one house and left the others in tact.”
Sabrina scowled. “I’m not that good.”
Billbert took her by the shoulders and turned her toward the cabin. “You said that I increase your powers.” He squeezed gently. “Use my help for some surgical accuracy.”
Sabrina closed her eyes and raised her hands.

PLANET Z

We had everything we needed on our block.
The school, the grocer, the pharmacy with the soda fountain counter, and the general store.
Dr. Lefferts had his office in his house. The dentist had his office in his house.
City Hall and the courthouse were on the other side of the town square and park.
If you wanted to go to the city, the train stopped at the station four times a day.
The city grew, until it surrounded us.
Things changed, and they got worse. Department stores, and crime.
The fences and gates on the other street got tallers.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• JRadimus
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Block

SCRIBBLING WREN

Mum Saves the Day

Paul had anticipated most things so was always half expecting the knock on the door from the police apparently today investigating a missing local girl.

They showed him a picture of Sally, who was currently tied up in his spare room.

“No sorry, never seen her.”

A woman shouted from inside his house and the Officers stepped forward together, knowing they’d got the creepy bastard at last.

“Paul! I think I’ve shat meself.”

He looked embarrassed.

“Sorry, I’m Mum’s carer, I think she needs me.”

Paul closed the door, let the tape recorder play a while longer before hitting stop.

RICHARD

Fidelity

“Really? You spent the night together in the same bed with your secretary, and nothing happened? Nothing?”

“I had no choice, darling. They’d booked us into the same room by mistake. I promise you, nothing happened, except sleep.”

She gave me a hard stare.

“It never happens again. Right!”

I nodded. She knew I wasn’t lying – she always knew when I lied, it was like a sixth sense. I was telling the truth, and she knew it.

Frankly, after sex in the shower, on the balcony, and against the wall, when we got into bed, all we wanted was sleep!

LIZZIE

The string of lights reminded me of you.
It reminded me of those days we spent in the cinema parking lot, next to the industrial fan, barely able to hear each other.
The string of lights reminded me of you and me.
It reminded me of the shouted out tunes that were just laughter.
It reminded me of when our fingers touched by mistake and we didn’t know what to do.
Did you say “I love you”?
The string of lights reminded me of us.
The cinema is now gone but I can still hear that silent I love you.

TOM

Can I bring my friend to tea?

Since I am old, I remember a time before the Beatles. Before was pretty much street corner crooning. Well and motor town and actually Mississippi blue, well all that, but the Beatles got so big they could record just about anything they wanted. Case in point: All together now. Not exactly Wagner there. Being in the States I don’t get that Music Hall Vib. After a dozen pints I bet it is a riot. Chop the tree, sail the boat, look at me. Ok, I’m smiling. Guess after 50 years it has succeeded cause we are still all together now.

Now, The Reason For My Absence.

It’s been near half a year, but I can barely acknowledge my oldest friend’s death. So, it is a bit hard to work him into this length explanation. We could go back 40 years, but that would be way too much plot expo. Let’s land on Podcasting. Jim, God rest his soul, said he was listening to a podcast of two kids from Wisconsin talk shit for 45 mins. I said, I don’t have a Ipod. Sorry got to hit pause here. I had no idea I was about to be answering that question regularly for the next two full years.

SERENDIPIDY

‘Together, forever’

I traced the words with my finger, carved all those years ago, when I thought that our love would always endure.

It didn’t.

He lied.

However, I kept my promise, and when he tried to walk away from me, I broke his legs. I cut out his tongue to stifle his curses, and chained him in the cellar, where he remains grovelling to this day.

I know he hates me with a passion, and I certainly no longer love him, but a promise is a promise, and together, forever, we will remain.

Whether we like it, or not.

NORVAL JOE

Had Billbert and Sabrina not been zooming above the treetops, they would have skidded to a stop. Instead, they hung together in the air as Billbert considered what the old man had said.
“They still have Linoliamanda. We have to do something, Sabrina. Can you bring a wind to knock their house down?”
Obviously Sabrina was not as comfortable hanging out fifty feet above the ground as her fingers gouged Billbert’s arm where she gripped it.
“Remember, Lillywanda is in the cabin, too. And, any wind strong enough to level the building would also blow us out of the air.

JRADIMUS

Another Productive Meeting

“Welcome, All. Have a seat. Quickly, please. We’re short on time. If you’re wondering why I called this meeting – it means you didn’t read the agenda in the invite.”

“Come on, Frank. Knock it off. You do this every time. Just get on with it already.”

“Listen, Little Mike – I say it every time, because everyone always asks what the meeting is about. So if you want me to stop doing this, read the agenda. With that out of the way, I’ll “get on with it”: Item one, Safety-”

A whistle blows. “Shift change!”

“Wait! I just started… Damn it.”

PLANET Z

Our last salvage run was a colony shuttle that flamed out on its way to Mars.
Thousands of bodies in the sleeper pods.
The cargo looked interesting.
Dead withered plants in the hydroponics bay.
The engines were completely shot.
We grabbed the computer system and fuel, and gave the rest a boost back on course to Mars.
An orbital tug could grab the thing and get it to a waystation for offloading.
We messaged Mars Authority so they’d know to catch it before it slams into the planet.
Another colony ship is being launched.
We’ll see if it’s another salvage.