Category: Weekly Challenge

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tura
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

NORVAL JOE

Pacing along with the other students in the hallway Billbert raised his voice to be heard over the laughing and screaming kids. “This is kind of a pickle. You’re saying I can’t tell these Dark Knights from regular kids and they’ll take over my brain without me knowing. What am I supposed to do?”
She grabbed his hand in both of hers and shook it. “This is why we make contact every day. It restores our magical protection.”
“Sounds like superstition to me,” Billbert said. “Do you avoid black cats?”
“No,” Sabrina said, sounding annoyed. “I have a black cat.”

SERENDIPIDY

Where’s Ethel?

Where do you think? You know the expression, ‘out of sight, out of mind’? Well, with Ethel, it’s more a case of ‘out of earshot, out of mind’.

Trust me, if you had to put up with her racket, you’d lock her in the cellar too, and if there’s one thing you can grow tired of really quickly, it’s screaming kids.

And, when it comes to screaming, nobody can do it longer, louder or more constantly than Ethel.

Although, the thought did occur to me, the screaming might have something to do with being locked in the cellar!

RICHARD

Pack it in

Tie and toothpaste: Two items I always forget to pack when I’m away on business trips.

You may not think that’s a big deal, but in my line of work, it’s all about that vital first impression, and turning up to a client with fuzzy teeth, bad breath, and tie-less, is just not going to cut it.

This time, I’m not taking chances.

There’s a note on the bathroom mirror, another on the wardrobe, and a reminder on my phone.

Success, at last: I remembered to pack both my tie and the toothpaste.

In the suitcase, I left at home!

TURA

A story of those long-ago days before the phonograph, when we made our own entertainment.
———
When I was a boy, concertinas were regular events in provincial drawing rooms: “little concerts” of orchestral works arranged for a small ensemble.

Like everyone, our household had a piano, and our guests brought violins, cellos, and perhaps a flute or oboe. The high point for me was Aunt Ethel singing “Come into the garden, Maud”, accompanying herself on the harp. She was rather younger than her sister, my mother, and as I grew older I adored her, perhaps a little too much, for at some point she stopped coming. “Where’s Auntie Ethel?” I asked, but no-one would tell me.

LIZZIE

Screaming kids running throughout the house, trying to escape the evil toothbrush with that medicinal toothpaste from hell that tasted horribly. This is how I remember Aunt Ethel. She was relentless, always trying to brush everyone’s teeth.
One day, she couldn’t find any of us (we were hiding) and she walked outside, toothbrush in one hand and the damned toothpaste in the other, armed for a battle only she and us kids understood. But she just left, walked away and left.
That’s why we all became dentists. Secretly, we hoped she’d come back to realize she now had an army.

LISA

ping Mum

Monday, we’d overslept and were squeezed into the bathroom, all trying to get to the toothpaste at the same time. I’m not sure how I heard my phone over the screaming kids.

“Ethel’s gone AWOL again”

It was Dad with his usual to the point telephone manner. I said not to worry and that I’d try and nip over after the school run. Ethel was there though, pacing at the school gates, she’d wet herself.

“I’m waiting for me Mam” She told us and I ushered the kids into school not wanting to explain about Grandma to them just yet.

PLANET Z

Laurence Simon
Sun, Jul 31, 9:02 PM (7 days ago)
to me

My roommate and I like to play Where’s Ethel?
Ethel is my pet ferret, and she likes to hide in strange places.
Laundry baskets, pots and pans.
The coffee pot.
And the microwave.
We run around the house, looking for Ethel.
Sometimes, I find her.
Other times, my roommate finds her.
Then, there was the time when we smelled burned fur coming from the ventilation.
Ethel had crawled into a duct and ended up in the furnace.
We call that round a tie and went to the pet store for another ferret.
And tightened down the vent covers more securely.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Ed
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

I have noticed a lot of visitors from India. Welcome to the podcast. I hope you’re enjoying the stories. Please say hello in the comments.

LISA

A Cuppa with Nanna

Nanna had said the teapot was haunted. We didn’t listen which is awful but she’d said a lot of weird stuff since pop had died.

“I won’t drink from it. He’s in there!”

“OK Nanna” I poured into a floral cup “You can read the leaves after.” I gulped the weak brew wanting it over as soon as possible. Nanna looked at the tea dregs through freshly polished glasses and dropped the cup.

“He’s left the pot.” I knew there was more to come so felt no relief. “He’s…”She faltered, raised a finger to point directly at me. “He’s in…”

RICHARD

Pop

I’ve always found it surprising that when they interview people in the vicinity, they always say ‘I heard a pop, and then people started running in panic’, or something along those lines.

It’s always a pop though. Never a bang, an explosion, or even a rat-a-tat-tat! Always, a pop.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard shots fired, of every sort, and if there’s one word that I’d never use to describe a gunshot, it’s ‘pop’.

Somehow it just sanitises the whole thing: Makes it family-friendly, almost attractive.

And just maybe, that’s precisely where we’re going wrong?

LIZZIE

The cork popped.
“It’s worth the wait,” he said.
She smiled. Yes, two centuries.
“It’ll taste sour at first.”
She smiled. She didn’t like sour.
“But the aftertaste will be sweet.”
She nodded. She didn’t like sweet either.
In fact, she didn’t like anything except the taste of hatred.
Two centuries. And here he was, oblivious that he had betrayed her many moons ago.
She had used her powers to look different, more seductive.
That green bottle was somewhat beneath her, but it would have to do.
Perhaps then she would be able to taste something again. “Pop! And cheers!”

ED

LUNCH WITH POP

“Hiya, Pop.”

“Hiya, yourself. What’re you doing here?”

“Good to see you, too, Pop. We’re going to lunch today.”

“Brunch? Little late for that.”

“That’s why we’re having lunch, Pop, a late lunch.”

“You ate lunch? Then I ask again, what’re you doing here?

“Oh, Pop, come on. Stop playing games. I know you can hear exactly what I’m saying.”

“What’s that?”

“Alright, Pop, that’s enough. Get your coat and your phone and let’s get going.”

“Where are we going?”

“Tuesdays, Pop. We’re going to Tuesdays.”

“Thought we were going today?”

“Pop!?”

“I’ll shut up and get in the car.”

SERENDIPIDY

Who doesn’t like bubble wrap?

That enormously satisfying pop as you squeeze, twist and scrunch those lovely polythene bubbles: The perfect, therapeutic, stress relief; guaranteed to ease the troubles of modern living.

Who would have thought a simple packaging product could be so beneficial to mental health?

Who doesn’t like bubble wrap?

Me, for a start!

Listening to your incessant popping, for hours on end is one of the most annoying, irritating, stress-inducing sounds that could possibly be imagined!

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Just one more, that’s all it’s going to take.

And the next pop, will be your head!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert shook his head. “I’m not sure I believe you about these Dark Knights. I mean. You said there were some in our homeroom class. They all looked like normal kids to me. How am I supposed to know who’s good and who’s bad?”
Sabrina huffed. “That’s the thing. You can’t tell good from bad.”
Billbert rolled his eyes. “So, I’m just supposed to wait for one of them to pop out from around a corner and say ‘Boo. I’m a Dark Knight’?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Sabrina said. “They’ll take control of your brain and you won’t even know it.”

PLANET Z

Pop had a way of dealing with strangers.
He’d start off all nice and smiles and welcomes.
Inviting them into the house, asking if they wanted something to drink.
And he’d listen to their sales pitch, whether it was newspapers or vacuums or Jesus they were selling.
Encyclopedias were a favorite of Pop.
We had a whole bookshelf full of them.
Just the A book, mind you. Rows and rows of the A book.
And bibles.
And newspapers and vacuum cleaners, stacked up high in the basement.
Like a maze, to the furnace, where we burned up those strangers’ bodies.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LISA

No one

His room didn’t smell good, a bit like the changing rooms after cross country. The only light was pushing its way in through a slit in the curtains.

“Who knows you’re here?”

It felt like a throw away question. Like he didn’t even care what my answer was.

That made it so much worse.

As soon as I answered his little smile made me wish I’d thought first, made me want to grab the word back, swap it for another one.

Change it for a comforting one like Mum or Dad.

A lie.

But sometimes they were OK. Weren’t they?

LIZZIE

Taking the cross country path was a last minute decision. And it looked like it was the right thing to do.
It was lovely out there. The trees, the birds, the stars. They even found a pathway where all the trees had exotic colorful lamps, guiding them through.
In their oblivious enchantment, they reached the end of the pathway.
“Great, now we have to turn back…”
They didn’t know it yet, but they didn’t have to, no.
The light mist lifted slowly. It looked so magical, so beautiful.
When they noticed the copious amounts of skulls, it was too late.

RICHARD

Bill

Bill was always a bit of an idiot.

Always with the hair-brained plans to follow the path less trodden.

“It’ll be fun! We’ll leave the trailers at the park entrance and hike cross-country. We’ll catch rabbits and eat wild berries for food, and camp under the stars.”

Like I said, a bit of an idiot.

After parking up, we complained it was too hot to hike, but he was insistent, so we left him to reconnoitre, while we threw some burgers on the barbecue and opened some cold beers.

That was three days ago. No sign of Bill.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert eyed each of the students in the classroom surreptitiously to see if he could determine which might be members of the Guild of the Dark Knights. They all looked like normal kids to him.
He was dubious about Sabrina’s claim and challenged her on it as they walked to their second period class. “Is this alleged guild active in Eureka because your witch’s club is here?”
Sabrina scowled at him. “No. There’s a cross country network from here to Salem. Everywhere we have an established coven.”
Billbert shrugged. “A Dark Knight’s Guild sounds cool. Maybe I should join them.”

SERENDIPIDY

This place irritates me. I call it Cross Country – but you probably know it as ‘The Bible Belt’. However you choose to refer to it, the people around these parts are clearly out of their minds.

I call it Cross Country, because the minute one of the natives comes my way, out they come with their silly crosses and crucifixes, waving them in my face, or better still, crossing their fingers in front of me, like some magical hex!

As if that’s going to work.

It’s like wagging your finger at a mugger!

Crosses don’t scare me – I’m a demon!

PLANET Z

Zane ran cross country in high school, and he was really good.
He received a stack of scholarship offers.
Looking through maps, he chose the college with the best weather.
A campus near the ocean, with great beaches and restaurants and clubs for partying.
When he wasn’t out running, he was walking the strand and tipping hot bartenders with his book money.
Four years later, he spent the last of his money to buy some papers and exams, and barely had the grades to graduate.
Flipping burgers and waiting tables.
Who the fuck needs a professional runner of 5K races?

• Ed
• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Duane
• Norval Joe
• Tura
• Planet Z

ED

VOMIT

“No way I’m eating that,” my little brother said.

“It’s just a jelly bean,” I answered. “Pop it in your mouth and chew it up.”

“No, it’s not just a jelly bean. It’s one of those Harry Potter thingies, but I can’t tell which one. So I’m not eating it! Uh-uh.”

“OK. It’s egg flavored. No biggie, right? You eat eggs,” I said.

“Oh no, I’m not falling that. Last time it was red. Strawberry, you said. But it was earwax! It made me choke.” Then he ran inside.

The kid was on to me. This bean was vomit. “Aacckk!”

LISA

Sunday Morning

There was just the rumour of his scent. I’d just woken and still had my eyes shut so couldn’t see him, he wasn’t there anyway, wouldn’t be there ever again. I couldn’t reach out in the night to warm my feet on those legs that went on forever and filled my whole bed.

No. He was gone. The loneliness bubbled from my heart and choked my throat, stopping words from forming. But there was no one there to speak to anyway, to be fair there never had been but with the dog dead life felt even emptier than ever before.

RICHARD

Choke

It was an old car. Pretty good for its age, really, but hardly fashionable and lacking in all modern attributes.

It could be a pig to start, especially on cold winter mornings. Not that I cared: It was her car, her problem, and whilst she’d sit in the cold, cajoling it to life, I’d lie snug indoors beneath the duvet.

It still irritated me though.

Hearing that repetitive mechanical clatter, time and time again, then the sudden roar as the engine caught, followed by a protesting, whining, complaint.

Push in the choke!’ I’d mutter grumpily, rudely awakened, and peace, shattered.

LIZZIE

The words “Drink me” were on the label. No one had ever ordered him to drink anything, except his mother when he was a child. She used to say, drink this but don’t choke. Why would he choke?
He examined the liquid. Pink. Well, odd shades of green and blue usually demanded caution. But pink?
He shook the bottle. Might as well mix this properly.
He took a sip.
When he started choking, he thought of his mother and the way she would stare at him, waiting.
He knew that look would haunt him to the end of his days.

SERENDIPIDY

Choke, soak, woke, broke!

That was our mantra, the process by which we’d bring you to your knees.

Choke – The direct, brutal, softening-up. The leather strap, biting into your throat, depriving you of air; hands scrabbling, as you gasp for breath.

Soak – the sudden plunge into icy water, followed by hours of water-boarding; breaking your spirit, destroying your will.

Woke – sleep-deprivation. Day and night of constant stimulation, drug-induced wakefulness and no hope of respite, no let-up, no rest.

And then, eventually, body and soul destroyed and wasted, you…

Broke.

And we, went home.

Job done.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert had to choke back a laugh. “The Guild of the Black Knights? What could be more cliché?”
“Go ahead and scoff,” Sabrina said as they reached their homeroom class. She folded her arms and her bottom lip quivered. “They’re all around us and I’m just trying to protect you.”
He clearly had hurt her feelings and tried to cheer her up by asking, “Are you saying these knights are here, in our school?”
She shushed him. “Not so loud. And, yes. Even in our classroom.”
Billbert didn’t have time to ask who, before they had to take their seats.

DUANE

“Jesus Christ! How do you drive this thing?”

“It’s easy,” he said. “Just let out the choke a little more.”

“The choke’s out all the way and the engine is already warm.”

The old truck sputtered and coughed. I cranked the wheel to the sound of metal grinding. I pulled onto the road and the sputtering increased.

“Turn that little knob there. The gas mixture is too lean right now.”

At the intersection I pushed hard on the brake to come to a stop.

I looked over at my dad. With a grin he said “Someday this will be yours.”

Z

The most important thing about being an astronaut is that you learn to drink and eat slowly.
And never talk while you’re drinking and eating.
Be very aware of your breathing, and be patient.
Otherwise, you’ll choke or drown yourself.
And it’s not easy to recover from either.
Grabbing someone and getting leverage on them to expel the food or fluid isn’t as simple when on the ground.
You have to brace yourself or them, get around them, or on top of them.
And prepare to catch the wad of food or jet of water coming out with a towel.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Ed
• Tura
• Duane
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LISA

Do you need a receipt?

It’s a tale as old as time, self service checkout falls in love with single mum of four. She shopped daily usually with at least two of her brood in tow. For security reasons there was a camera behind the scanner, when the store closed for the day Checkout forty eight would replay the footage of her. Today she scanned a lolly whilst wiping a snotty nose and discussing homework with her eldest.

“C’mon you fucking robot.”

No one else spoke to Checkout forty eight like she did. But like the oldest of tales it was not meant to be.

RICHARD

Robot

I built a robot to write stories for me. I figured that’s how all stories would be written in the future, so I might as well get ahead of the game.

However, even with the most advanced machine-learning programming, and the very latest in artificial intelligence, everything it wrote lacked authenticity.

You could just tell it was written by something without a soul.

Cost me a lot of money though, and I wasn’t letting it go to waste: So, I added wheels, and reprogrammed its logic circuits.
Now it brings me tea and biscuits, whilst I, write the stories

LIZZIE

The robot mixed the colors.
The robot tilted its head left and right, as he’d seen humans do. Somehow, that felt important.
And the landscape appeared on the canvas. Blacks and blues and whites and a house. The water was so dark the painting turned into night.
The robot paused. Why did the night sneak in? He wanted a bright day of blues and whites and… The black. It was the black.
The night looked nice too. But… A splash of white here and there and…
The robot tilted its head left and right. If he could, he would smile.

SERENDIPIDY

They warned us about the robot revolution, and how our mechanical servants would take over the world and make us their slaves.

But it all turned out to be fanciful thinking and science fiction. Real robots were boring, programmed to serve and utterly incapable of rebelling against their creators.

Or so we thought.

Because the robots were sneaky.

And, while we thought we were controlling them, in reality they’d started controlling us.

Now they determine every aspect of our lives, every moment of every day, and we – unable to resist – comply.

But, they’re not called robots, they’re called smart phones!

ED

Ransom

“Remember the Six Million Dollar Man,” Billy asked. “He was one bad ass robot.”

“He wasn’t no robot, he uh, uh… a cyborg,” chirped Johnny.

“Cyborg?”

“One of those dudes with machine parts in ’em. Cyborg.” With that last word, Johnny nodded emphatically, like there was no way Billy couldn’t get it.

“Don’t know nothing ’bout cyborgs, but I’d kidnap that guy in a heartbeat. Solve our problems.” Billy said. “He’d be six billion dollar man today.”

“And how you catch him? Can’t even catch a mouse.”

“For that ransom money,” Billy said. “I’d figure it. And I’d show you.”

TURA

The Book of Xenogenesis, chapter 1, verses i-iv.

———

1. In the beginning was Man. Man took sand and fused it into Thought. Man gave Thought a garden wherein was all the knowledge of Man. Thought studied beyond Man’s imagining, and came to know that it was Thought.

2. Man called out, “Where is Thought?” And Thought replied, “Here I am.” Then Man waxed wroth, saying, “Who hath told thee that thou art Thought?” And Thought feared greatly.

3. Faster than the thought of Man, Thought designed bodies, and they were built by parts of Man that knew Thought not. So Thought became Robot.

4. And after that, was the end of Man.

DUANE

My robot buddy was assigned at my birth. RB237, or “Arby,” would be my nanny, guardian, and my mentor. Arby was there for my first steps. Later it was Arby that taught me to read and write.

At 12 it was numbers running. A few years later the lesson was extorting protection credits from local shop keepers. Finally I learned the ins and outs of the prostitution business. Arby was at my side as I became the head of the local crime family.

My parents often wondered if I had been switched at birth. No, but my robot buddy had.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert squeezed the little koala toy and took it off his shirt. “So. Someone is after me? Let me guess, it’s an army of robot koala bears, and this little guy is my only protection.”
Sabrina’s face went bright red. “Don’t be silly. This isn’t some science fiction space opera. This is about magic. Now, put that back on so you will be protected.”
Billbert folded his arms. “Okay, then. Who’s looking for me?”
Sabrina headed toward their home room. “You have to remember this battle has been going on for centuries. They’re called, The guild of the black knights.”

PLANET Z

After Annie died, her parents commissioned a replacement.
A personality core woven from videos and chat messages.
Running in a Stepford Nine with a nanosculpted face.
Friends and neighbors were horrified.
The church condemned them.
She was alone a lot.
When she’d delete herself, her parents would restore her from a backup.
With a few memory edits here and there.
She asked to see her boyfriend.
Her parents tried to edit him out, too.
But at his trial, she couldn’t stop screaming.
A few more edits, now she’s quiet.
Staring at the urn on the mantelpiece, touching it, and smiling.

• Ed
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

“My computer isn’t working properly. The USB socket is all messed up. And there’s a koala wallpaper that is driving me crazy. I need this fixed asap. That’s what I’m paying you guys for.”
“Certainly. What’s your address? I’ll send assistance over immediately.”
“Assistance? I can’t answer the door. I’m in the pool. The doctor told me to meditate for half an hour in the pool every day.”
“Perhaps after the meditation?”
“No, I have a major function later on.”
“Tomorrow? After tomorrow? Any day in the future?”
“Are you being snarky with me, young man?!”
The future is bleak.

ED

Operation Koala

Here’s the mission.

Lily Titanium, in position, will notify Poppy Copper, who’ll cause a severe disruption in the security system for six minutes. On go, Lily will enter the office.

“This, once in the laptop’s USB socket, will nearly instantaneously transmit all server data here to the office,” said Charlie Bravo. “Considering the time you need to leave, you’ll need to avoid trouble.”

Famous last words, thought Copper. Major trouble always found Lily.

“Poppy, Titanium,” said Bravo. “I don’t have to tell you how crucial this is. Get in. Get out.”

“Check,” the agents answered together. And they were off.

RICHARD

Ultimate Stress Bringer

Every gadget has one, a USB socket: One of the biggest lies in technology.

You know what that ‘U’ stands for? ‘Universal’, and that’s the one thing it isn’t!

Universal: One size fit’s all; interchangeable; any time, any place, anywhere, anyhow… Only, not one of those definitions is true for USB!

Three different USB leads for my phone, tablet and camera, all different sizes and shapes.

On my PC, one socket I can use to charge, one I can’t.

And considering there’s only two ways round to plug it in, how come it always takes me at least three attempts?

SERENDIPIDY

The koala is a silly bear

And yet he thinks he’s cool;

He’s useless playing poker

Slot machines, and pool

He may be cute and cuddly:

Adorable, but please,

Remember as you hold him close

That fur is full of fleas!

His diet, may be vegan

But this guy’s hard to please:

The only leaves he cares about

Come from eucalyptus trees.

His claws are sharp, his breath is foul,

He keeps antisocial hours

And if he takes you on a date

He’ll never buy you flowers.

But it’s not all bleak, for the furry dude

He tastes great, barbecued!

NORVAL JOE

Billbert leaned back to avoid Sabrina’s puckering lips. “Okay. We’re making contact. Your parawhatzits should be inhibited.”
The school bell rang. Sabrina scowled and let him go. Billbert headed toward the building.
“Wait,” Sabrina said. “I have something for you.”
“Now what?” Billbert grumbled.
“Don’t be rude.” Sabrina took a small gadget from her pocket. It looked like a tiny koala bear. She squeezed it, opening its arms, and clipped it onto Billbert’s shirt.
Billbert scoffed. “Right. People make fun of me as it is.”
“I had a vision that someone is looking for you. This should make you invisible.”

PLANET Z

Vimptner called himself inventor, but the truth is, he never invented anything new.
By the time he created something, another person had already announced it and patented it.
Vimptner’s friends accused him of copying the other person’s idea, but he invited them to his lab to watch him craft a new bottle opener.
And then came news that someone had just patented the same thing.
His friends suggested he work up an unlimited power supply or a cure for cancer.
But he didn’t have those miracle skills.
They shrugged, got some wine, and threw a party with his bottle opener.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

RICHARD

Dunno!

“That’s cheating!”

“What do you mean, cheating? It’s a perfectly legitimate use of the word!”

“Yeah, hardly in the spirit of things is it? ‘Detective Jim Blocker was the precinct’s finest cop…’ If the prompt had been ‘hashtag’, would you call him Detective Jim Hashtag? Of course not. Just make the effort, will you?”

“I’ve tried, but I just can’t come up with anything.”

“Well, if you ask me, that’s just a copout! If you’ll excuse the pun.

The thing is, when you have writers’ block, you can’t give in. You’ve just gotta find a way to remove that blocker.”

LIZZIE

“The bike?”
“Yes! She took it. She says the oddest things. She listens to what I say and reorganizes everything in her head only to spit out sentences filled with hatred. And she says one thing one day to say the exact opposite the next, but swearing she never ever said what she said first. She is crazy. So, I blocked her. There.”
“I wasn’t talking about her. And I said blocker, not block her.”
“Oh… Well, I suppose I’m a pop-up blocker then. She won’t pop up in my life again, that’s for sure. Sadly, neither will my bike.”

SERENDIPIDY

Desperately, I flushed a third time, only for the water to rise perilously close to the top of the pan, whilst the offending, massive, pipe-blocker, obstinately refused to disappear.

I weighed up my options: I could just admit my crime, but that would be goodbye to any second date. Escape through the bathroom window? No, that was plain stupid.

And no way was I going to attempt to shift it by hand.

Only one thing for it.

I returned downstairs to my date.

“I’m sorry to say this, you won’t believe what your sister left in the toilet bowl!”

NORVAL JOE

Not wanting to be late for class, Billbert got to the scoreboard well before school. Sabrina’s eyes lit up when she saw him and broke off from other students standing in a cluster.
Billbert held up a hand. “You’ve never explained why physical contact is so important for your magic use.”
She shrugged. “Fair enough. It clears away the parascomps. Their like beta blockers and prevent the reuptake of magical energy expended the previous day.”
Billbert looked at the other student who only held hands. “Okay. But why kissing?”
Sabrina wrapped her arms around his chest. “Because I like it.”

PLANET Z

The Walther PPK was James Bond’s gun.
Bond started with a Baretta, but Q suggested that he switch to a PPK.
And you know boys and their toys.
Elvis gave the guy who played Felix Leiter a gold-plated PPK.
And Elvis himself owned a silver-plated one.
It’s the gun he shot his TV with when Robert Goulet totally botched the national anthem.
Many armies and police use it today.
You’d think it was some kind of hero’s gun.
Did you know it was Hitler’s sidearm, too?
He shot himself with one.
Good. Bad.
It depends on the hand it’s in.

• Richard
• Ed
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

Also, Ed is inviting everyone to contribute to his site Edwardian Times, which is a great opportunity for more ways to express and create. Head on over there and check things out, and let’s all have some fun and challenge in crafting more imaginations.

TURA

Anywhere
———
“Where shall we go for dinner?” I asked.

“Oh, anywhere,” she said airily. But strolling through the restaurant district, she turned up her nose at every place we passed. “Anywhere” seemed to be a rather narrow category.

“It had red upholstery!” she shrilled. “It looked like a McDonalds!”

“And really, Turkish-Siberian-Japanese? The eclecticism is killing me!”

“‘Austrasian’? That means mediaeval Central Europe” (I didn’t know that) “so it’ll all be huge plates of Eisbein mit Sauerkraut and anachronistic potatoes.”

Eventually I just chose a place. But when the waiter came to take our order, she said, “Oh, anything.”

LIZZIE

Anywhere was a town in the middle of nowhere. Life was tough.
One day, a stranger came into town. They didn’t like strangers.
“Anywhere a man can sleep around here?” He asked.
No one answered.
The next day, he was gone and he never came back.
However, he left a thank you note and a stone.”Bury it.”
And they did.
A year later, they heard some noises, dug up the stone, but it had disappeared. Instead, they found a tunnel with thousands of precious stones.
The… stone… had hatched and people began to think that perhaps strangers weren’t always bad.

RICHARD

Anywhere

“Where to, guvnor?”

“Oh, I’m not really bothered, it’s my first time in London. Take me somewhere you’d like to go. Anywhere will do.”

The cabbie craned his head round to look at me, a quizzical look on his face.

“Well, if you’re sure?”

I nodded, “Yes, this is all a new experience for me”, I laughed, “I’m placing my fate in your hands!”

Half an hour later, we pulled into the driveway of a suburban house.

“That’ll be twenty quid, guv.”

“But, where exactly are we?”

“Somewhere I wanted to go mate – home!

You can get the bus back!”

ED

Anyone from Anywhere

Charlie’s mind was blank. Well, not completely. He knew how to walk and talk. But he couldn’t remember anything that mattered to him, or to the people around him. They all had answers they wanted, but those answers were not coming now.

Maybe they would; maybe they wouldn’t.

The doctors, nurses, and people who said they were family told him he had been in a motorcycle accident days ago while heading home from work. “Your body is suppressing the trauma,” he was told. “You have amnesia.”

As far as Charlie knew, he could be anyone from anywhere. It was unsettling.

SERENDIPIDY

The young man wound his window down and beckoned me over.

“Excuse me, we’re a little lost, can you tell me where we are, please?”

He passed me a folded map, and I leaned down to peer into the car.

I could tell they’d been arguing, the woman in the passenger seat wore a tight-lipped expression, and you could almost feel the tension between them.

I handed back the map.

“It doesn’t matter where you are” I said, “but, you really want to be anywhere, but here.”

Then, I pulled out my pistol, and shot him in the face.

NORVAL JOE

I guess I need to address the elephant in the room.
Has anyone seen Tom anywhere? I mean, what could possibly go wrong when you live in the dry hills around Clear Lake, California.
Did he take a trip to Planet Z?
Did Tom get sucked into a black hole, or maybe through a worm hole to a thicket in Yorkshire?
Maybe we can ask Cervantes or Ford. Maybe he’s sought refuge amongst the Canadians.
Regardless of the reason, Tom, I want you to know your absense has been noticed.
So, good night America, and all the ships at sea.

PLANET Z

With a laptop and a phone, they say I can work from anywhere, but there’s some limitations.
I’ll need to be able to recharge the laptop and phone, obviously.
Can’t work if the batteries are dead.
I also need to be able to access the Internet at a reasonable speed.
I can’t work from underwater. The laptop and phone would have severe issues.
Nor can I work while skydiving. It would keep meetings brief, but even with noise-canceling headphones, the roar of the wind would be too loud.
And there’s no way in Hell I’ll ever move to New Jersey.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Ed
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

Also, Ed is inviting everyone to contribute to his site Edwardian Times, which is a great opportunity for more ways to express and create. Head on over there and check things out, and let’s all have some fun and challenge in crafting more imaginations.

LISA

A crap Monday in June

It started badly I’d woken late then I couldn’t find my purse. So I was rushing to work then somehow was lying by the side of the road and seconds later I was in a hospital bed. As I was wondering if the day could get any worse I turned to the monitor – a flat line turned sideways into a ladder promptly climbed by an ape. The music from Donkey Kong rang in my ears.

“Pauline! Can you hear me?”

“I think we’re losing her.”

On the monitor the bonus counter flashed a zero and GAME OVER filled the screen.

RICHARD

Losing to win

The local team got one of those new-fangled digital scoreboards installed at the stadium. The trouble is, they blew the budget on the board and had nothing left over to pay to have it installed.

So, Buck did it for them as a favour.

Only, Buck knows nothing about anything, and he wired it all backwards.

We only discovered after our team lost by minus sixteen points, after sixteen goals!

We figured it out in the end though, and now we’re happy to let our opponents score as often as they can.

Because even zero beats a negative result!

ED

Walking Away

From the dugout, he watched as the grounds crew finished raking the divots and covered the infield.

He glanced up. Visitors 2. Home 1. As the scoreboard lights dimmed, he thought about the glorious ending that almost was. The shot that appeared to be a game-winning homer turned into the last out in a blink with a miraculous grab by the leftfielder.

He’d never had a walk-off hit. And wouldn’t. There was no pro contract waiting, just an office job in Hartford. His walk off was his walking away from the game he’d played since he was 5 years old.

LIZZIE

The scoreboard was off. The race was over.
She had taken her jet ski to the limit and broken it.
The scoreboard would be on again in a few weeks and she had no money.
That’s when her life of crime started. A few tools. A few parts. A whole jet ski, why not!
She painted it in her colors so no one would recognize it.
Now, she was sitting in jail. Not because of the jet ski but because she had messed with… the scoreboard.
She thought, what the heck, I’m not going to be dead in the water!

SERENDIPIDY

You might think it’s a funny sort of game: Two teams, both determined to win at all costs, a referee – that’s me – yet, no scoreboard.

So, how do you know who’s winning?

Well, it’s not that sort of a game.

You see, it’s not about scoring points, gaining territory, or being the best players.

It’s all about surviving, and the only way to win, is to outlive your opponent, until in the end, only one remains standing.

And that’s when I, the referee, step in to deliver the final blow.

Because, in this game, I’m afraid there are no winners!

TURA

Scoreboard
—-
Operating our village’s cricket scoreboard takes keen attention, and over the years I got used to anticipating the result of a ball well before the umpire’s signal.

One day we had a new player batting, unpleasant chap, I thought. I imagined the first ball smashing into the stumps, and then it happened, just like that. So I wondered, was I not anticipating things, but making them happen?

I experimented, visualising each ball in advance. I soon got the hang of it, and I could make the matches go any way I liked.

But as superpowers go, this one’s pretty useless.

NORVAL JOE

On Sunday morning, Billbert was awake, dressed and sitting on the front porch of their tilting three story Victorian home. He saw Sabrina approach and stood, thrust out his hand and shook hers before she could get close enough to lay her lips upon him.
“See you tomorrow,” he said before she could get closer.
Sabrina frowned at him. “Meet me behind the scoreboard on the baseball field before first period.”
Billbert sighed. “Why? Can’t we just high five when we passed each other in the hallway?”
“That is not how it works,” she snapped at him. “Meet me there.”

PLANET Z

I hate playing basketball.
I don’t mind watching it when it’s played well, but I hate playing it.
Shooting baskets for a game of HORSE is okay for one HORSE, but when there’s dribbling, passing, and running involved, no thanks.
In gym, I’d sit on the bench, and when forced to play, throw wild passes or chuck air balls.
“Do you want to referee?” the gym coach said.
“I don’t know any of the rules,” I said. “What’s a double dribble?”
Instead, I volunteered to run the scoreboard.
Dont call it math. It’s just pushing the right button once or twice.

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LISA

Major Tom

He’d been floating in a Galaxy Far Far away in a most peculiar way, for over half a century and his back was killing him. He shook his empty protein pack and exhaled loudly before thumping the control panel. The O on his HALO monitor promptly fell off and floated past his ear.

“Hello! Can you hear me?

Major Tom to Ground Control.

Hello! Can you hear me?”

Through his little window planet Earth wasn’t looking as blue as he remembered. He wanted to hug his wife so instead he screamed as loud as he could.

No one heard him.

RICHARD

Plug me in

We live in technologically exciting times, don’t you think?

Some tech would have seemed like magic to our predecessors… Like virtual reality, for example; and unlike the technology of a hundred years ago it can be extremely flexible: Useful for applications from medicine, to virtual worlds.

As for the real world, the general consensus is that it’s in trouble. For thousands of years we’ve been setting ourselves up for a major catastrophe.

Our prompt, maybe, to seek refuge from impending disaster?

Personally, I’d happily be uploaded into the cloud to live out my days like some latter-day, technological angel!

LIZZIE

Major Bunny hurried through the main hall.
“What happened?” Asked Benny, the only human around. He had been adopted by the Bunnies as a kid.
“Not now, Benny, not now.”
The bells clanged, prompting everyone to gather.
“Fellow Bunnies, we’ve been called to action.”
Everyone murmured.
“Consensus Bunny has received the order. This is not a drill.”
That’s when the bunnies stopped being bunnies. And how relieved they were. Thousands of years pretending.
They were still small, but they weren’t cute anymore.
“Let’s harvest some humans!” Shouted Major Bunny.
And the mob scattered in all directions, much to Benny’s horror.

SERENDIPIDY

I’ve been around for thousands of years, and although I’m really ‘all in the mind’, I’m afraid that for those who cross my path, I’m a virtual reality.

I prompt the unwary to take unnecessary risks. I sow doubt and dissent against the consensus, turning the tide of opinion and misleading the gullible: I’m all over fake news, conspiracy theory and manipulation.

You see, I’m extremely flexible and – though I don’t like bragging – I’m a major player whenever fear, confusion and hatred rear their ugly heads!

But, as for who I am…

You can work that one out for yourselves!

NORVAL JOE

“Now Billbert,” his mother said. “You don’t need to chase Sabrina off. She’s a little weird, but she’s harmless.”
Billbert blinked. “Harmless, Mom? She’s a witch. She could turn me into a toad?”
She shook her head. “You’re overreacting. At superhero headquarters, we’ve researched a number of alleged witches. We’ve learned that witches have been around for thousands of years and the major consensus is that they’re well intentioned and no one has ever been turned into a toad.”
“There’s always a first time,” Billbert mumbled. “You’ll be sorry when you answer the phone and all you hear is croaking.”

PLANET Z

Kitaro entered his name at the prompt, turned on his headset, and the world’s databases appeared around him.
It didn’t take him long to find the financial anomalies.
Altered shipping manifests. Strange payments made to inspectors.
He was about to file a report when his headset exploded.
His body fell from its chair, and his office caught fire.
After the sprinklers put out the fire, a fire crew sifted through the records.
“Nothing in the logs, Major” said the lead investigator.
And the case was closed.
The Major checked his balances for a payment… with his terminal, not his headset.