Category: Weekly Challenge

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

I wanted that horse toy so badly and my father said “you’ll regret it”. I shoved the toy in my pocket and ran. My father yelled “you’ll regret it”. 40 years later, here I am, still that 10-year old kid at heart. That toy was the beginning of my career. Every time I robbed a bank, I took the horse toy with me, the toy and my father’s voice too. Today, I was arrested. My father looked at me and whispered “do you regret it now?” I shook my head and smiled. It had been one heck of a ride.

RICHARD

A word to the wise

They do say that you don’t have to be old to be wise, and I gained a great deal of wisdom even when I was very young.

I quickly learned that a frown, the threat of tears or a quivering lip would almost instantly result in cuddles, warm milk and lullabies.

Throughout my childhood, I gained greater wisdom, and had a charmed life full of good things, treats and a marked absence of bullying, playground taunts and detention.

Yes indeed, I’d learned the wisdom of letting people know who I was.

And when you’re the son of a Mafia boss…

SERENDIPIDY

I was very young when I was torn from my loving family, enslaved and forced to be a plaything for the very rich.

I was very young to face the reality of a life of pain, loss and grief, of torture, abuse and depravity.

But I wasn’t young forever.

And as I grew, so did my thirst for revenge.

Now that I am older and stronger, and free, I seek recompense.

And I will have it, at any cost.

I’m coming.

Not for you.

But for your children.

So, guard your very young, for I am coming to take them!

TOM

What Could Go Possibly Wrong 025

As limb and torsos became untangled and the grumbling made way to a silent that match the silents of the ruined city again the first voice to speak was the Captain. “I was very young when a last beheld this sky line.” The sun set in a greenish glow. Ford turned to Cervantes. “Your work, sir?” “Time’ s work, Ford.” Molly wrapped her arms about herself and rocked back and forth. Parker found the remains of a chair and offered it to her. “We all seem to be in one piece,” said the Time Lord, “Now who’s got the duck pint?”

NORVAL JOE

The giggles faded away and silence settled over the gathering.
The old woman turned the flashlight on Billbert and shuffled toward him.
Sabrina’s mouth hung open in shock.
The old witch looked at Sabrina. “Close your mouth dear, a bug might fly in.”
Before Billbert could laugh the woman turned on him, her dark eyes cutting into him. “I was very young once, too…”
She looked at Billbert’s hand. “Fortunately, the ceremony is complete. Go eat your caramel corn.”
As everyone headed off to the cottage, Billbert noticed the ring on his finger and wondered when that had gotten there.

PLANET Z

I was very young, and I didn’t know anything.
And I would ask people if they wanted to play a game.
“Okay, it’s your turn,” I’d say.
And I’d stand there, staring at them.
Whatever they did, I’d say “Three points.”
It didn’t matter what they did. It was always three points.
If they asked it was my turn, I’d say “It’s still your turn.”
Sometimes, I’d shout “FOUL!”
Other times, I’d shout “TIME OUT!”
And wait a while, then shout “OKAY, TIME IN!”
Even though I am old, I still like to play games.
And it’s still your turn.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

The asinine brochure with the inept typo managed to convince her, in a moment of complete vulnerability, she should add, to go find a beach somewhere and age happily. She did. And the beach was lovely, yes, except for the fact that the damn seagulls pooped all over her little paradise. She thought there’d be other people around. But no, nobody, not a single soul. No fish either. So, she had to practice her skills on the pooping seagulls. It was a nasty sight. And she couldn’t even eat them… She had given up on meat a long time ago.

RICHARD

Kids

Kids of that certain age… Too noisy, too much energy, and way too taxing for any parent, no matter how loving or conscientious.

Before I came up with the perfect solution, I tried it all: Bribery, threats, pleading, but still nothing would stop them running around the house, wreaking havoc.

I tried vodka – first for myself, then I tried it on the youngsters. It just made them even more hyper, and when they weren’t hyper, they were stumbling around drunk, completely trashing the place.

You won’t see them running around today though.

I’ve Velcroed them to the carpet!

Another vodka?

SERENDIPIDY

I possess what you might call a thin veneer of respectability – outwardly, to the casual observer, I was pleasant enough, even what you might call sociable.

However, scratch the surface, and you’d soon find a streak of pure evil.

Dishonesty, greed and avarice are my vices, and there’s little I won’t do to satisfy them; and, as far as I’m concerned the end always justifies the means.

And best of all, absolutely nobody suspects a thing. Everyone thinks I’m salt of the earth and butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth.

All because of that, completely fake, thin veneer of respectability.

TOM

What Could Go Possibly Wrong 024

A thin veneer of reality streaked across the ages. Bodies falling of bodies in a huge puppy pile of human. It looked like Guernica on a bad hair day. Lot of groans and colorful language. The first intelligent voice was surprisingly the captain. A true Douglas Adams moment. “Said the Petunias: Oh no not again.” The next quip was “Curse you Cervantes,” from Molly who somehow had sole ownership of the pint glass. If only for a second. Seeing the gun man had lost his restraints Parker set the pint glass on his forehead again. A oh no not again moment.

NORVAL JOE

hey all waited silently in the dark woods for so long that Billbert couldn’t help himself and asked, “Is it time for the caramel corn?”
He heard giggles from the boys and girls before the old woman asked, “Warren? Warren? Where’s the flashlight?”
A man cleared his throat. “Oh. Sorry.”
A light flashed on and illuminated a woman of advanced age, a wavy black streak wormed through her silver hair. She turned toward the boys and girls in the darkness. “Which one of you spoke?”
All the boys and girls knew it was Billbert, so he admitted, “It was me.”

PLANET Z

Alfred Nobel was a misanthrope, hating all people.
This may have motivated him to invest dynamite and other implements of war and death.
But when his brother died and journalists mistook Alfred’s brother for Alfred, the obituaries were vicious and bitter.
“The Merchant of Death?” yelled Alfred. “I will show them!”
And he stopped producing weapons, instead establishing the Nobel Prizes for advances in humanity.
He also established a fund to hunt down and kill the journalists who had insulted him.
Newspaper offices across the world went up in flames.
“I knew that dynamite would come in handy,” said Alfred.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

“I have a dragon.”
“I have a dragon too.”
“My dragon is bigger than yours.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Stop it,” shouted the father from the living-room.
“Mine can spit fire.”
“Spit? Haha. Mom says that’s rude.”
“No, it’s not, not in dragons.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Stop it now.”
Two seconds of silence.
“Your dragon’s pooping fire.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Then… what’s that?”
“It’s… It’s… He had chili, so there.”
This time, silence lasted longer. One of the kids sulked while the other wondered if dragons really ate chili.

RICHARD

Fight fire with fire

Uncle Eddie always said ‘fight fire with fire’, and although I never really understood what he was on about, it seemed to make sense in a backwards sort of a way, so I adopted it into my own philosophy.

I figured that the same principle could be applied to most things.

It didn’t really work out.

I flooded the bathroom when I tried fixing a leak, fighting water with water.

My house fell down when I fought a termite infestation… With termites.

And, a word to the wise:

Never put out a burning barbecue with a blow torch…

And petrol!

SERENDIPIDY

“Burn the witch”, they chanted, whipped up into a killing frenzy by the inquisitors.

I was roughly dragged from the cart, then bound firmly to the stake at the centre of the pyre, the chanting of the crowd growing ever louder as the moment drew close.

A cheer went up as the torches were lit and touched to the pitch-soaked brushwood beneath my feet, igniting instantly.

As the flames climbed higher, I laughed in their faces, for you cannot fight fire with fire.

And the fire that burns within me, burns with greater ferocity than any puny funeral pyre!

TOM

What Could Go Possible Wrong 022

Ford found himself watching Parker’s ghost into frame. He knew exactly what was going on. 12 planes where aligning and he had to pick one pretty soon. Like jumping on a spinning round-about. But doing it wearing cement Wellies. And just like a pair of Wellies a lose fit a best. Ford judged plane number seven would be the least packed in this matrix. Would have work just fine if had been for Cervantes elbow. Ghostly blue a first, but coming in solid straight at his forehead. At least he was doing better than the Captain’s knee to the groin.

What Could Go Possible Wrong 023

Cervantes took a deep breath, felt the blue slide across his arm. He had to keep the pint glass at eye level. Not as ez as one would image. A quick glance to the ground a truck of man took form. Then an arm comes across this left eye. His brain was now slowing down, only broad strokes of thought came into view. “Fight fire with fire,” an internal synapse fired. No smoke here. It’s nice here. Let’s just roll with the punches. The Crazy World of Arthur Brown ear-wormed into his head. “I’m fighting fire, I am the fireman.”

TURA

Fight fire with fire
———
In the province of 火战火 Huǒzhànhuǒ, water is scarce, but natural petroleum seeps are common. If your house catches fire, there is no possibility of extinguishing it with water. A small fire can be smothered with sand, but when out of control, people encourage the blaze with buckets of petroleum. The building is razed in short order, instead of smouldering on for days.

This is their general attitude. Lagging students are expelled from school. All serious crimes are capital.

And when Covid swept through, they let it take whoever it took, and increased the size and frequency of their festivals.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert realized all the adults around the fire and all the teenagers in the two lines were staring at him. Uncomfortable with their attention, he quickly took the gaudiest ring in Sabrina’s outstretched hand and slipped it onto her finger.
“It is done,” crooned an old woman.
Each of the adults produced a ladle from beneath their cloaks and dipped a liquid from a central bucket. They extended their ladles into the flames and the liquid in each caught fire. As one they tipped the burning liquid into the fire. In a flash of golden embers, the campfire went out.

PLANET Z

The word ostracize means to cast out a person from society.
It comes from ostraka, which are oyster shells.
People would write the name of the person to cast out on the shells, and they’d be collected and counted.
The ostracized would be stripped and run out of town, never to return.
Now, when oyster society wants to cast one of their number, it’s a bit harder.
Because so few oysters have names, and even those with names can’t read or write.
But if they wait along enough, humans would collect them all to eat and use as ostracism ballots.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

“Pick one,” he said, looking at the box with small dividers. “They are seeds.”
Seeds always have this promise of a future in them, she thought.
“I choose these. Are they poisonous?”
“No! They are berries, I think.”
She smiled again. She could fall in love with him, she thought.
“I don’t know how long they’ll take to grow.”
She nodded.
Years later, the bush was still there. She had no idea what kind of berries they were but she never touched them.
He did. Needless is to say that he never saw the plant grow.
Temptation is a bitch.

RICHARD

Brains

We used to joke in school that when God handed out brains, Jim thought he said trains, and when asked to pick one, he went for old-fashioned and slow.

Whilst I forged ahead, achieving academic success and accolades, Jim plodded on at his own pace, almost certainly one of life’s losers.

Didn’t work out that way though.

He’s now a multi-millionaire and owns the company I slave away for to make a pittance.

And the secret to his success?

Focus on old-fashioned values, work the problems slowly, and methodically, and – ironically – always use your brain!

SERENDIPIDY

My sister’s a bitch!

You’d think identical twins would get along, but not us. If ever there was an evil twin, it was her, and I was always the nice one.

I could give you hundreds of examples when she stitched me up, but I’ll just pick one: The time she slept with the love of my life by pretending to be me.

I’ve barely spoken to her since.

Until today, when she turned up in tears because he’d dumped her.

Although those tears did nothing to stop me lacing her coffee with strychnine!

So, who’s the evil twin now?

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina’s eyes went wide. A silly smile crossed her face. “Sorry. I forgot to tell you to bring a ring.” She reached into her pocket, pulled out a handful of rings and held them out to Billbert. “Here. Pick one. They all fit me.”
The other boys were already slipping their rings onto their partners’ fingers.
Billbert shook his head. “I’m not going to marry you.”
Sabrina rolled her eyes. “Of course not. We’re just combining our magical strength. To make us complete. I have a ring for you. Now, pick one of these and put it on my finger.”

PLANET Z

Mindy wanted a puppy, so we went to the shelter to pick one out.
“Play with them all,” we said. “But you can only pick one.”
So, she picked a fluffy little mutt, she named it Cindy, and we brought it home.
A few months later, the puppy had grown.
“I said I want a puppy,” said Mindy. “I don’t want a dog.”
She bashed the dog’s head in with a frying pan.
We buried it in the back yard alongside the other dogs.
Eventually, we signed on to foster puppies.
And adopted them out before they incurred Mindy’s wrath.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tura
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

She inhaled. Ah, coffee.
The nice librarian had suggested the book “Moving On”.
How appropriate. Her husband was having an affair.
When she returned the book, she found out that her husband was having an affair with none other than the nice librarian.
Good thing she had also picked up “How to Get Rid of Your Old Life”. Lots of interesting advice in it, including a few radical methods of… getting rid of your old life.
Books are extraordinary, and so are libraries.
Nice librarians… not as much. At least, not this one! But even that problem had been solved.

RICHARD

Against the odds

I’ve always liked even numbers. Nice, friendly characters that give you no trouble and never conspire to trip you up.

Not like those nasty, argumentative odd numbers! You know the sort… Those sevens and nines that always mess up the bill or throw out the calculation. The ones that cause arguments at restaurants and make you look an idiot when adding up the groceries.

And don’t tell me fives are friendly – I’m pretty certain they have a hidden agenda!

Give me even numbers any day.

Although, I suppose eights can be tricky, and don’t get me started about those sixes!

TURA

Even
———
“Even as Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as these; even as the great geographer Lao Shen did not himself traverse the entirety of the Yellow River; and even as Kant confessed that Hume awakened him from dogmatic slumber; even so”— the storyteller began— “I cannot entertain everyone every time.”

After the ritual of abasement, he entered on the ritual of exaltation. “This is the most marvellous story ever told! Worlds created and destroyed! Heights of passion, depths of despair! Cunning twists and sudden revelations!”

Finally, he began the story itself. “It was a dark and stormy night.”

SERENDIPIDY

Even I have feelings.

I grant you that they may not be the sort of feelings generally considered desirable, or appropriate, but they are, nevertheless valid, and without them the world would be a poorer place.

It would indeed be boring if lust, anger, greed and avarice didn’t exist, and how could we ever measure the more ‘virtuous’ qualities and experience their benefits, without their opposites?

The dark side has its place, and without it, we would all be the lesser.

So, thank me, and celebrate my depravity; tell me I’m important, and I matter.

Because, even I have feelings!

TOM

What Could GO Possible Wrong 021

The first time-frame to make contact with the Duck Pint was Park’s. The aspect of the blue was thick, but he could just make out the ghostly appearance of a hand. He tried to turn toward the man in cuffs but time was way too slow to allow that move. Also, Park was having major trouble forming thoughts. He could summon up thing-ness, but act-ness danced outside his ability. “D-a-m-n ,“ he thought. Damn what he thought. Even as the best of time, in spite of some Hidden skill with a pint glass, Park was slow on the up take.

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina grabbed Billbert by the collar of his jacket and pulled him back to the campfire. He hadn’t really paid attention to the route they had taken through the forest and didn’t know his way back out without Sabrina to guide him, so he submitted and went with her.
Adult men and women surrounded the fire while two evenly space lines, one of boys, the other girls faced each other.
Billbert and Sabrina joined their respective lines as an elderly woman said. “Alright. Boys take out your rings and place them on your partner’s finger.”
Billbert choked. “What the heck?”

PLANET Z

There’s a button on my remote that for some reason keeps bringing up water polo.
I have no goddamned idea why it does.
It’s some sort of shortcut to a streaming guide that LG runs that defaults to a sports channel that’s always showing water polo.
The button is right next to my Home button, so I hit it by mistake a lot.
I tried to pry it out of the remote, but the remote’s not having any of that.
We are in an age where one button… ONE BUTTON brings you water polo.
And yet we can’t cure cancer

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tura
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

The lighthouse stood by the bay, small waves hitting it softly.
The carcass of a boat rocked back and forth, a warning flag still swaying in the wind.
They had been overexposed to that gas, the one coming from the barrels tossed in the water at high sea. They tried to sail away as fast as they could. But it was only a matter of seconds.
People came onboard. They said no, don’t come here. But they did anyway.
And now, the lighthouse stood by the bay, small waves hitting it softly, with no one to take care of it.

RICHARD

Overdressed – Overexposed

Have you ever seen those goth girls and boys? All black clothing and mascara, veils and teenage angst.

Even on the hottest, sunniest day, they shrink within their cloak of darkness, like modern day vampires, avoiding the light as if it threatened mortal danger.

I once went out with a girl like that.

For months, I tried everything I could to encourage her to shed just a few layers of protective attire.

Then one fateful day, she relented, and stripped to her bare skin.

Skin so pale, she appeared like a badly overexposed photograph.

So bright, she blinded me forever.

TURA

Overexposed
———
After a day’s work on a photoshoot in an ancient forest, I found one image I’d accidentally overexposed. I would have thrown it out, but I noticed it had brought out some strange details in a deep hole amongst some tree roots.

I went back the next day to image the thing better. Going close up would just scare off whatever it was, so instead I brought my ultra-HDR, ultra-resolution digital to get it by stealth from a distance.

On the camera back I zoomed in on the hole and turned up the brightness…

THEY DON’T LIKE TO BE SEEN!

SERENDIPIDY

Maybe, as a child, I was overexposed to violence and bloodshed; although, it’s fair to say that none of the other kids in the neighbourhood followed the path I’ve taken.

Perhaps, poor mental health has warped my values and sense of decency, eroded my capacity to empathise and my grasp on reality. Yet every test I’ve taken indicates I’m no more damaged than the next person.

I suppose I may have lacked spiritual and moral guidance to keep me on the straight and narrow. But, that’s not true either.

I simply enjoy mindless torture and violence.

See… Perfectly well adjusted!

TOM

What Could GO Possible Wrong 020

If anyone had spent the time in any timeframe perusing the walls of the Arm’s they would have come a across a most piacular overexposed photo. Even in the rumble of the curtain state of the pub they would have seen their collected face. Warn and weary, but a glare of defend resolve. Cervantes had seen it, the machinations of the last few days were to ensure it would accrue. They would never forgive him, but he had long ago given that emotion to the devil in exchange for a clear sight of right action. Duty heavy as a Mountain.

Attachments area

NORVAL JOE

They saw the flickering light of the bon fire long before they got to it. Excitement flickered in Sabrina’s eyes, reflected from the dancing flames. “Stay behind me as we approach the ceremony. I don’t want you to be overexposed to the magic.”
Billbert stopped dead. “Overexposed. That doesn’t sound good. What are you getting me into?”
“Nothing. Really. It’s a simple ceremony. But, if you’re not used to magic, you may get dizzy, disoriented, or a bit euphoric. Just keep in mind, I’m your friend.”
“You’ve said that before,” Billbert said and headed back the way they had come.

PLANET Z

Melanie spent a lot of time volunteering at the hospital.
“I like reading to old people,” she said. “Especially the ones who have no family or friends visiting them.”
She did it for two years before she stopped showing up.
All of the patients who’d died left everything in their wills to an asset management company she’d set up to drain them dry.
She cashed out, got a new identity, and left the country.
The hospital probably should have known when they asked her to help with the children’s ward.
And she replied “Kids? They don’t have any fucking money.”

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tura
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

TOM

What Could Go Possible Wrong 019

Normally I ( and I use that for your temporal reference) would let the sure mass of the narrative reveal what the hell is happening. Don’t have the time, little time entity joke, there. Normally Indifferent Compassion is how I roll. What animates my actions is whenever there is a fork in the road, I take it. My motto is Don’t push me, I’m the Whale, or was that the Walras, ooo pooka choo. Foe or Ally, you decide. Damn, that liquid blue will mess with one’s internal synapses. Back … To maintain a time bubble, you need maximum density. Did that help?

SERENDIPIDY

“Don’t push me!”

I turned to face the woman who had barged into me at the checkout and looked her straight in the eye.

“Just wait your turn, won’t you? You’ll get served when I’m done!”

Well, if looks could kill, I’d have been dead on the spot.

I returned to my shopping, taking all the time in the world, indifferent to her protests.

Outside, as I drove away from the store, I saw her. She gave me the middle finger and an evil stare.

Without any hesitation, I ran her down.

Barge into me, and I’ll barge right back!

TURA

Animated, Indifferent
———
Professor Proteus was indifferent among the many ideas that he lectured upon, yet always animated in his exposition. Whatever he spoke on, he was its most fervent advocate. Then he would take up an opposite idea and demolish his previous arguments. He could convince anyone of anything, then refute all that he had just said, then refute the refutations. His audience found themselves willy-nilly convinced by every successive turn. He could demonstrate the consistency of contradictions, and the inconsistency of tautologies.

He was eventually revealed to be a mouthpiece for an AI trained on the entire contents of the Internet.

RICHARD

Year’s end

Here we are, once again, standing amongst the dying embers of the year past, looking ahead to what the future might bring.

In many ways, it’s a completely arbitrary moment in time for decision-making – there’s nothing to prevent us from resolving where our destiny may lie, on any day of the year.

But tradition dictates that with the passing of each year, we face a fork in the road, and choose which route we will follow.

However, I’m rubbish at making resolutions.

And I’ll decide which direction to take, in my own good time.

So, don’t push me, OK?

LIZZIE

I am a good mother. I always knew what was good for you. But you never accepted what I said. I always pointed out your faults. That’s how you learn. I never praised you because that wouldn’t teach you anything. And that day when you wanted to hug me and I was horrified. A hug? Don’t push me. And you had that pathetic look on your face. I am a good mother. You came out alright, except for not accepting my orders. You were always stubborn. Now you’re indifferent. And we don’t talk. Yeah, it’s all your fault… your fault.

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina and Billbert walked along a path through the forest. She carried the bag of freshly made caramel corn in her backpack.
The trees were so thick, blocking the starry sky above, if it hadn’t been for the weak flashlight they would have completely missed a fork in the road.
She put her hand on Billbert’s shoulder. “We go this way.”
Billbert shrugged off her hand. “Don’t push me.”
Sabrina’s smile looked evil in the yellow glow of the flashlight. “Billbert. I’m your friend. I want to help you be a better person. Come along. The ceremony is this way.”

PLANET Z

Early in the days of animation, when Gertie, Mickey, and Bosco and other crude noodle-armed figures ruled the cinema, Xavier Walton came up with Bertha The Whale.
All you could see of her was her eye and a few folds around it.
But Xavier was a master animator, and put a lot of expression and character in that eye.
He would stand on stage with props, run the film behind him, and they did an Vaudeville act together.
Bertha’s reactions to Xavier’s antics were priceless.
Then someone hidden above the stage would dump a bucket of water on his head.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

I am a good mother. The kitty this, the kitty that. Let nature be nature. We need to take him to the vet, and you whined and whined and I took the kitty to the vet. I’m a good mother. It just annoys me to have to change my plans. I had stuff to do. If the kitty had lived till then, I am sure he’d survive a few more hours. And you turned your back on me and left to your room and then you left for good. Now we don’t talk. And it’s all your fault… your fault.

RICHARD

One more sleep

“So, how many sleeps left?”

John looked at me strangely.

“Until the big day?”

“Only one now”, he replied quietly.

“And the guvnor, what’ll he be doing?”

“He’s making a list, and checking it twice. Nothing left to chance.”

“And the meal?”

“Turkey, with all the trimmings, just like you wanted.”

I smiled happily, as John made his way out, and I crossed out today’s date on my calendar. Just one more sleep left.

And tomorrow, I’d feast on turkey before being taken to the special room.

Where they’d strap me to the chair.

And light me up, for Christmas!

SERENDIPIDY

There’s only me left now, as for the rest of the colony: Dead, every last one of them.

It’s 2032, and Covid has ravaged the earth, those few of us surviving became the Regenesis Project: Humanity’s last ditch attempt to save the species by establishing a colony in space.

But now, they’re all dead.

Except me.

So, I did a test, and it seems I have it too, but I’m immune.

I’m just a carrier, a vector, a Typhoid Mary.

Although, I knew that before we left earth.

But there’s no way I’d miss a chance to be an astronaut!

TOM

What Could GO Possible Wrong 018

It was the center of all things. A pint glass with a duck on it. Pretty nondescript. Not your average temporal time vortex. But what real is ATTV? I could not give you an exact definition, and I am the narrator here. Best I can offer up is can said object a line multi D-s. So it was in three different time-space planes three sets of left hands held the duck shot glass a vector 0 0 0 0. All that was needed was a bit of Time Lords Joo-joo. When all the liquid blue disappeared, everyone was in place.

NORVAL JOE

“Come on,” Sabrina said and waved Billbert to follow her across the street. He had nothing else to do that afternoon so Billbert followed her into the corner store. It was small but they seemed to have some of everything.

Billbert followed her down aisle after aisle until they found the snack food section. Sabrina reached for a bag of popping corn. “Oh good. They have one left.”

Billbert scratched his head. “The thing you need for the ceremony tonight is popcorn?”

She rolled her eyes. “We want snacks afterwards, of course. I thought we could make some caramel corn.”

PLANET Z

Delivery drivers have computers on their dashboards, and the computers give them an optimized route to all of their deliveries.
More often than not, taking three right turns is faster than waiting to take a left turn.
When I see an Amazon or UPS or FedEx truck taking a left turn at a busy intersection, I know something weird is going on.
And when I see a delivery person wandering around the apartment complex, I know they’re completely clueless as to where any particular unit is.
The apartment complex hasn’t bothered making a map.
They’re too busy raising the rent.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

(Some of you may have noticed that I make a lot more mistakes than usual… I’ll try to be more careful and take my time, but it’s… well… it’s complicated, eh.)

LIZZIE

I am a good mother. I always bought good food for you. There was that time when you went to the store to buy bread, and when you came back you said no more. But why? And you said there was a tavern next door and the men looked at you funny… And I said what a wimp, that’s life, you need to get used to it. You were 12 and you had to toughen up. I’m a good mother. I taught you stuff you needed to survive. But now we don’t talk. And it’s all your fault… your fault.

RICHARD

The Old General Store

The old general store was a wonderful place. Run by Jake and Bessie Abbot, it was a real family business, a magical place, filled with wonders.

As a kid I used to wander round, seeing what treasures were hidden away in boxes, stashed on its many shelves and in dusty corners.

Whatever you wanted, they had had it.

Jake and Bessie passed away, the store was torn down and out of town developers bought the land.

Now, the old general store has been replaced with a massive Walmart.

It’s not a wonderful place, but whatever you want, they have it!

SERENDIPIDY

I put her in the cold store, it seemed the thing to do

Hung her from a meat hook; she was turning blue

Soon her struggles ended, I left her there some more

You cannot be too careful, and I wanted to be sure

I waited overnight, and then I took her down

Chopped her into pieces, the white meat and the brown

I packed her into boxes, and sent her in the post

To all her friends and family: The ones who loved her most

As for the leftovers, they were all for me

I had them

For tea!

TOM

What Could GO Possible Wrong 017

Park took store of the current situation backtracking to the moment Don Ford had sent him in motion. It felt as if weeks had passed. How did it all get so wacky? Who was that guy with the Don? Where was either of them? “He’s coming around said the bar keep, taking an advised steep or two away from the cuffs man. The man blinked, pulled at his arm. “You’re making a very dangerous move Sunny Jim,” snarled the man. Ford moved the duck pint glass towards him. “We’ll see.” And then they most assuredly did, the Liquid blue appeared.

NORVAL JOE

After the end of his last class, Sabrina followed Billbert out of the school.
Billbert scowled over his shoulder at the girl behind him. “Are you following me?”
She shook her head angrily. “If you would slow down, I could walk with you, and not just follow you. I need to get something from the store before we go to the ceremony tonight.”
Billbert stopped in his tracks. “Tonight? You expect me to be a part of your ceremony, just like that?”
Sabrina smiled. “No. Not just like that. I told you. I need to get something from the store.”

PLANET Z

Hamilton’s store had been in the neighborhood for years.
Until his phone told him that there was an alarm at his store.
He turned on the news, and he saw his store burning.
Watching the security camera company’s recordings in the cloud.
Recognizing his employees among the looters.
One of them had a can of gasoline.
He called a staff meeting at the burned-out store.
And when they showed up, he handed each an envelope.
Filled with Monopoly money.
The cops arrested the employees, insurance paid his claims.
And Hamilton moved away.
The building is still an abandoned burned-out shell.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tura
• Duane
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

LIZZIE

I am a good mother. I fed you and took you to where you needed to go. I gave you books for school and I kept you clean. I was a busy bee till you became the annoying teenager you were. There was this time when you fell down the stairs and I did nothing, just watched. I hate interfering. I am a good mother. I put up with your friends till I managed to push them away from our house. They were too cheerful. Peace at last. But now we don’t talk. And it’s all your fault… your fault.

RICHARD

Honey

Old Tom’s honey was acclaimed for its quality, freshness and delicious flavour. Rumours abounded as to how he managed to achieve such consistent results, but nobody really knew how he did it.

So, I was recruited to infiltrate his farm, on the pretence of an apprenticeship, to learn his secrets at first hand, although I’ll confess, I’ve still no idea how he did it!

You see, Old Tom, could speak Bee!

He’d converse with them on the phone and they’d tell him the perfect time for harvesting.

So, I stole his phone.

And now I have my very own beeline!

SERENDIPIDY

They call me the Queen Bee, because I’ve modelled my dominion on the principle of the bee hive.

I sit at its centre, gorging myself on all that is good in life, whilst my lackeys and drones spend their lives attending to my every need.

They feed me, fan me and dance for me, and bring me the choicest gifts from far and wide.

There are those, of course, who will harbour jealousy.

But my soldiers are the best there are, and they will defend me against any assault.

Even though they know their death in combat is a certainty.

TOM

What Could GO Possible Wrong 016

Molly gave a glance at the Captain that spoke volumes. Ford noted a tiny motion in the captain’s hand, as he moved it from the pint glass towards his belt. Not good, thought Ford trying to untangle limbs to get a grip of his watch stem. It was time to get out of dodge, most likely with Molly in tow. In the middle of this slow-motion duel Molly dryly added the accelerant, “You’re the bee’s knees, deary” Now it was a race between the dagger and the watch. It would have been a tie but from the thickening liquid blue.

TURA

There’s a problem with bees dying off. Everything gets blamed: persistent insecticides, microplastics, endocrine disruptors, global warming, but no-one really knows why.

People say “be the change you want to see in the world”, but I think we’d should try genetic engineering, and change the bee we want to see in the world. But we’d have to choose the right strain to experiment on. We first need to see the bee we want to change in the world.

And we’d have to get the public on board. They have to see the change we want to be in the world.

NORVAL JOE

“That’s very interesting,” Billbert said. “I’m not sure what jelly fish and cloud formations have to do with me coming here. I’m sure the next thing you’ll tell me is a honey bee buzzed in your ear that I’m supposed to rescue a princess in a tower somewhere.”
Sabrina rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. There aren’t any captured princesses around here. What you need to do is accompany me to a secret rite of passage ceremony.”
Billbert swallowed. “A witch’s ceremony? What are the chances I’ll end up being turned into a frog?”
Sabrina frowned. “Not very high, really.”

PLANET Z

Wendy was as busy as a bee, her parents said.
But she was as nasty as a wasp.
From dawn to dusk, beating up her classmates for lunch money and homework.
Quizzes and tests all done for her by others.
Collecting bows and ribbons in her hair from all her conquests.
Her shoes, dress, and jacket… all taken in combat.
She graduated top of her class, but in college, failed miserably.
Expelled for bullying.
She ended up marrying a series of weak, little men.
When she’s rude to the nursing home staff, they park her wheelchair out in the rain.