Category: Weekly Challenge

Weekly Challenge #992 – PICK TWO Castle, Rules, Root, Naked in the snow, A pillow

The next topic is Star Wars

LISA

Opening Night

After centuries keeping marauders out the drawbridge was lifted and Castle Rock Hotel was finally open for business. The battle to turn the Castle into a hotel had been a long one and after extensive remodelling the Charm and character of a period property had been retained. It was so sympathetically modernised the National Trust heralded the project as a masterwork. They’d got rid of mice, woodworm and damp to ensure a warm welcome for guests. Doors, Floors and radiators had been silenced to ensure a good night’s sleep for its patrons so the first review hit hard: ‘Uncomfortable Pillows’.

RICHARD

— When You Gotta Go —

How would you like to go?
Personally, I’ve no interest in the usual boring ways. Forget the sudden heart attack, catastrophic stroke, or the Big C, those aren’t for me.
And let’s not go down the route of car accidents, or anything of that sort – just too messy… I want to be recognisable after I’m gone!
So, what does that leave us with?
A pillow over the face. And I trust that when the time comes, you’ll do the job?
If not, I guess I’ll resort to Plan B:
You’ll find me frozen solid one morning, naked in the snow.

LIZZIE

The rules are clear. No pillows, no napping, no jackets.
But it’s snowing.
Yes, so?!
So, it’s cold.
The root of the problem is that people are too squirmish; toughen up!
Toughen up, toughen up; my feet hurt, and besides, why no pillows?
Find your way to the castle.
And why no jackets?
Weapons, you could hide them.
And why no napping?
Because… all these questions.
Well, yes, you have a nice warm jacket; and the rules make no sense; the castle is in ruins.
OK, you can have a pillow.
You know what, get lost, you and your bloody rules.

SERENDIPIDY

Find yourself a good, young, fresh human being. Nice firm flesh, and without blemish, preferably still warm.
Pick a dark winter night to perform the ritual, somewhere bleak and remote and, at midnight under a full moon, bury them deep, naked in the snow.
Utter the prayer of making in the ancient language and perform the sacrifice, spilling blood upon the ground.
Then wait.
In the fullness of time, the corpse will begin to take root; drawing new energy from the fertile earth below.
And, come the spring thaw, you can plant your carrots there and have a bumper harvest!
TOM

Rath

Rath was a pheasant … wait he was a Peasant. And as peasant go an extraordinaire peasants. Wait he was extra at being ordinaire. Rath held Fidelity to his lord. Which ment he did the work and the lord got his daily bread out of the deal. So what did Rath get out of the deal. Well protection from hordes of housemen who used peasants for target practice. A serious plus there. E-ticket to tall castle; good. A system of rules set in stone for generations. One man got everything, one man not, because he who has the castle rules.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert flew to the Withybottom mansion. In the dark of night, it appeared like an abandoned castle in the Scottish wilds. Circling the building, he found a third-floor room with the lights on.

He peered through the window and saw Mandi sitting on the end of her bed, clutching a pillow. He tapped the glass.

Mandi jumped and ran to the window, opening it.

Billbert held onto the windowsill for balance.

She looked at Billberts hands. “You probably shouldn’t touch that. John has had me locked in my bedroom for a week, and I haven’t had access to a bathroom.”

PLANET Z

Mario laughed as the giant creature fell into the lava lake. All he had to do now is get the princess out and collect his reward. Except, the towns people said that the woman was not their princess. Their princess was actually in another castle. Mario growled. Then who the fuck is this bitch? He said. The towns people had no idea. Woman said that she was from a land pretty far away, and she’d need some money to get back home. Mario said he’d cover the ride, but it would cost her. She couldn’t shit straight for a week.

Weekly Challenge #991 – Budget airline

The next topic is PICK TWO Castle, Rules, Root, Naked in the snow, A pillow

LISA

Interview with one of the two Plane Crash Survivors
“Marie, What an experience. How did you manage to last nearly a year out there?”
“For a start we had decent bedding. The contents of people’s cases were amazing. Some real luxury treats in there. We’d made a shelter from part of the plane. Most of the fittings had come loose when it crashed so it was easy to gut it between us.”
“Your husband didn’t survive, did he?”
No, and I don’t really want to dwell on what we ate but I think things would’ve been much harder to swallow on a budget airline. Having decent cutlery really helped.

RICHARD

— Thank you for flying —
I think my budget airline of choice is taking the concept of low-cost a little too far.
I understand doing away with cases in the hold, and limiting hand luggage to a single, tiny bag.
And I can’t really quibble over inadequate legroom and lack of refreshments.
I do have concerns, now that they’re charging to use the lavatory, and seatbelts are optional extras.
And last time I flew I had to pay more, just to sit in a seat.
But now I’m drawing the line.
I refuse to supply my own elastic band and wind the propeller myself!

THOMAS

BUDGET AIRLINE

SkyGrind Airlines redefined “bare minimum.” Seats? Replaced by communal perches made of recycled truck tires. Windows? Gone. Now, laser prints glued on walls. The fuselage? A patchwork of old billboard vinyl and repurposed garden fencing.

Flight attendants were unpaid “SkyVolunteers”—contest winners too dazed to decline. Food? Trays of sandwiches… split among rows. Beverage cart? Lukewarm tap water served in jelly glasses, $3.

When the plane tilted, passengers shifted to counterbalance—“dynamic seating,” they called it. Landing gear? Yoga mats. Yet people flew SkyGrind. Why? Tickets cost less than a vending machine burrito. Comfort was a luxury. Survival, an upsell.

LIZZIE

Low cost. This is what you get. A hole on the side of the plane through which two people were sucked out. Three more held on to their seats, one of them with a hole on his head instead. “Transfer the money or else”, they said. The company chose the “or else” obviously. Now, they had to transfer a ton of money, but to the families of the deceased. One of the relatives laughed all the way to the bank. “Transfer the money or transfer the money. From low cost to premium, plus the inheritance, that’s how you do business.”

SERENDIPIDY

So, there you are, enjoying the in-flight entertainment, complementary drink and snacks, congratulating yourself on ditching the budget airline and splashing out on this particular trip.
Until there’s a shudder and sudden sickening drop. The engines start to scream, along with the passengers, oxygen masks drop from the ceiling, and the plane plunges towards the ground.
Then, over the tannoy, you hear the captain’s calm, reassuring voice: “Brace for impact!”
By the way, I’m the captain on this flight, and the reason I’m so calm is because I have a parachute.
Happy landings… I’ll see you on the ground!

NORVAL JOE

His mother took the phone from Billbert’s hand. “Hello. I’m June Weinerheimer and a woman from Child Health and Welfare took Sabrina Hecksaohos from our home to place her with a foster family. May I speak with the supervisor?”

“I’m sorry. Ms. Pickenpaw took a budget airline flight to Mexico a week ago and hasn’t been heard from since. According to privacy policy, only she can give you any information.”

Billbert took his phone when his mother disconnected. “I know where Mandi lives. I’m going to look for her.”

His mother nodded. “I’ll do what I can to find Sabrina.”

TOM

Come Fly With Me

Lenny had just made it to junior partner at Wilcons Spencer and Dakmen. He walking into the room with an air of absolute conviction that he had found the secret sauce that would save Budget airlines. The founder of the airline Slim Walker the third laid his gaze on Lenny. It was the sort of extractive gaze that only the hyper wealth got mustard at will. Lenny returned it will a firm: yup I got your back old man. With that he revealed centerpiece of the new ad campaign: Fly Subterranean Airlines, It’s like you never left the ground.

PLANET Z

Back in The Eighties, there was this airline called Peoples Express. They would collect money or credit card receipts on the plane. There weren’t any movies I think, nothing fancy, and you had to pay for a Coke or peanuts or a small sandwich or whatever. This was after having flown American and United a few times where they gave that stuff away, and had movies and music, so it felt really cheap and miserable. You know, like how things are now with American and United and all those other airlines out there flying and upcharge for everything you want.

Weekly Challenge #990 – Place

The next topic is Budget airline

LISA

A Glimpse of my Future
She’d placed three cards on the table. Face down. Nodding after each was revealed.
“The first I see a man. In uniform he’s tall. I foretell a pursuit.” She turned the final card, and sighed saying “Yes. The chase will be relentless.”
She gathered the cards and returned them to the deck then placed them in her basket. We both moved away from the table together. It was an odd thing to happen, right?
We went through the door together too. An alarm went off and the security guard ran after us. I may never go back to John Lewis.

TOM

990

Somebody bet on da bay.

I had a friend who loved to bet on the ponies. He saw himself as a bit of a handicappers. Loved to play the Trifacta. For you-z whos mother school their children never to lay down a Jefferson on a hag, may not be aware be this gambling term, it means to play a wager on the horse to crossing the finish line in the order 1st 2nd and 3rd. Win Place and Show. Win Place. While my friend poured over each horse’s history in the handicapper’s rags. I just chose my picks on how much I likes the horse’s name.

989

Rabbit Holes

The path of the geek is long and deep. Being in Silicon Valley in the late 70s if you had a cursor interest in Networks you were easily swept up in the techno-Gyr. Spent major time working with Sun, then Red Hat then SUSE. I had a 1200 baud Hayse before it was released to the public. Built a mess of servers. Ran Sendmail. Ran IRC. Ran Apanche. Try my hand at Microsoft’s servers, but frankly, their stuff sucked. Taught Unix class, now I’m just happy to wander around Discord. If your now current everything is above your pay grade.

869

Speed

I think I may be repeating myself. Cus’ the topic seems vaguely familiar. Of courses you would need to be pretty rain-many to remember just shy of 1000 topics. A dim reference to the coolest kid in my high school. Rose Converse. Girl would give James Dean a run for his money. And she did in a shocking blue VW. Spent many night cruzing Spent many nights on the interstate going nowhere fast. Rose had a mayonnaise jar full of white crosses. Pop Em like malted milk balls. It was speed on speed waiting the morning to crash. I smile at the memory.

RICHARD

— A time and a place —
Apparently, I suffer from lack of social awareness. No matter what I happen to be doing, someone will give me a dirty look and mutter, “There’s a time and a place for that!”
Well, that may well be the case, but I’ve yet to find that particular place, and even then, I certainly wouldn’t know the appropriate time.
It’s all so unnecessarily complicated. Who gets to decide what’s appropriate anyway? If I want to do something, then why can’t I decide the time and the place?
Anyway, I’ll have to stop typing now… Somebody else wants to use the toilet!

LIZZIE

Begin at the beginning and rush, rush, rush. In a hurry, in a hurry, always. Everything changes. Everything shifts. Everything ends. Then, you stop. And there’s still nothing. You hoped there would be something. But the tick tock ticked tocked away, faintly. Where to? Tell me, where to? And no one cared… Your place is no more. You stopped. Your loss. Now, there’s nothing you can do about it. And you’re left with that hole you already had, because there was nothing there before and there is nothing there now. Hope? What is hope? Nothing. Yes, the joke’s on you.

SERENDIPIDY

Your trouble is that you’re far too arrogant.
You think you know it all, and that you’re better than anyone else.
Well, don’t even think about trying it on with me, because I won’t think twice about putting you in your place.
And don’t think that just because you’re bigger and stronger than me that I won’t.
Size and strength impresses me as little as your attitude does.
And they’re going to be of little use against my nail gun, and a handful of six inch nails.
They’ll put you firmly in your place.
And they’ll keep you there too!

NORVAL JOE

After school Billbert found his mother working from home.

She looked up from her place at the computer. “What’s wrong, Son? You look worried.”

Billbert shrugged. “It’s been three days since I’ve seen Sabrina or Mandi at school. I wish I could talk to Sabrina.”

His mother dug a business card from her purse. “Here’s Ms. Calabassa’s card. Call her. It’s three-thirty. The office should still be open.”

Billbert punched in the number. When a woman answered, Billbert said, “Hi. I need to talk to Ms. Calabassa.”

“I’m sorry. There is no one here by that name,” the woman replied.

PLANET Z

There are two Italian restaurants in the strip mall across the main road.
One is decent, the other isn’t.
But the decent one doesn’t do garlic bread.
The other does.
So, I order a loaf of garlic bread to take out, and I carry it over to the other restaurant.
I bring it in a bag, and put it on the table in the middle of the meal.
The waitresses don’t say anything about it.
And they know I tip well.
If they have a problem, I’ll just order everything to go from both places.
And not tip at all.

Weekly Challenge #989 – Server

The next topic is Place

LISA

The Server
Pete, a medical student, was working part time as a waiter. It’d been a difficult shift a packed restaurant with one particularly rude customer mostly insulting him and questioning his intelligence. He didn’t contradict her.
It was a placement week and the same awful customer had been in a nasty car crash. Her shoulder had come out of its socket; He quickly and efficiently popped it back in. As he left the cubicle she asked if she knew him.
“I was your thicko waiter, the other night.” Pete smiled, “I’ll be back to stitch your facial injuries in a moment.”

RICHARD

— 404 —
It was me.
I was the one who opened the email that brought my laptop down.
And it was my laptop that went on to crash the network and bring the server down.
The same server that went on to trash the data centre, which screwed the web and brought down the internet completely.
Yes, you can blame me for it all.
I’m the one who single-handedly broke the information super highway.
And apparently, it’s not going to be fixed any time soon, so they tell me.
But why not look on the bright side?
No more dodgy emails!

LIZZIE

“Arsenic? We apologize. The server is offline.”
The questions continued until the server was back online.
Everyone resumed clicking their buttons frantically.
Some even chanted “the server is online, the server is online”.
What were the little tables for?
“Roleplay,” was the answer.
She didn’t know where the menu was, but the waiter whispered “no worries”. He’d explain everything.
The needle. What? No.
But but… “the server is back online”.
Now she understood the little joke. “Here, Happy Birthday, have fun”.
She was a widow, a black widow. Go to the RP café and have some arsenic on our tab.

THOMAS

Server

Mr. Liu moved like a shadow through Jade Lantern, his age hidden beneath a crisp blue jacket and knowing smile. He delivered plates of thousand-year eggs and drunken shrimp with eerie precision, never writing orders down, never making a mistake.

One night, a new customer hesitated over a plate of braised eel. Mr. Liu leaned in. “Eat,” he whispered. “It’s watching.”

The man laughed nervously, but Mr. Liu did not. He simply walked away, humming an old tune.

Later, when the plate was empty, the man swore he saw Liu give the eel’s discarded bones a small, approving nod.

IAN

The Server

“Soup’s cold!”

“Well, I didn’t make it!” thinks Larry, apologizing.

“The guy on table 5 says this soup’s cold,” Larry tells the chef.

“Christ, don’t shoot the messenger,” Larry thinks seeing Fat Steve’s violent glare.

Swearing, Fat Steve vindictively overheats it, and Larry takes it back.

“I’m never coming here again!” says the table five guy.

“Good, fuck off!” thinks Larry, heroically maintaining his composure, squeezed in the vice of customer and chef.

Later he reads the feedback on the restaurant app.

Terrible food, worse service.

In bed, he receives his manager’s text message.

See me before your shift tomorrow.

SERENDIPIDY

Whether you’ve enjoyed your meal, or not, please don’t forget to tip the server.
Make it a decent tip too, none of your measly ten or twenty percent. Better still, go the whole hog, the food is cheap enough for you to double-up, a hundred percent seems a reasonable ask to me.
Your server works hard, particularly with what they have to deal with behind the scenes in the kitchen.
So, please consider being generous.
If not, don’t blame me when they wait outside for you with a cleaver.
And you’ll end up as tomorrow’s dish of the day!

TOM

Rabbit Holes

The path of the geek is long and deep. Being in Silicon Valley in the late 70s if you had a cursor interest in Networks you were easily swept up in the techno-Gyr. Spent major time working with Sun, then Red Hat then SUSE. I had a 1200 baud Hayse before it was released to the public. Built a mess of servers. Ran Sendmail. Ran IRC. Ran Apanche. Try my hand at Microsoft’s servers, but frankly, there stuff sucked. Taught Unix class, now I’m just happy to wander around Discord. If your now current everything is above your pay grade.

NORVAL JOE

When Sabrina came back downstairs, she kept her eyes on the floor, not looking at anyone. “There are still a few things I couldn’t fit in my backpack.”

Billbert hugged her. “I’ll bring them to school.”

“Okay. Thanks,” she mumbled and followed Ms. Callabassa out.

Once the door was closed, Billbert asked, “Can’t you follow them, with a satellite through work, or something?”

His mother paused, then with determination, said, “Yes. I think we can.”

They sat at the computer and his mother entered her password to log into the office network.

A message appeared, “Unable to connect to server.”

PLANET Z

The asylum application process was simple.
Get a cell phone from a border agent, download an app, and apply for asylum.
A judge napped in an office while a room full of clerks rubber-stamped applications, and you could print out a certificate, or just show the certificate on your phone to any law enforcement bothering you.
And then the law changed.
The asylum app was shut down, the borders were closed, and the servers were handed over to a new team of clerks.
They gathered up the names and addresses, handed them over to immigration officers, and the raids began.

Weekly Challenge #988 – Give it all, Empty, Churrasco, Fiendishly difficult, Click

The next topic is Server

RICHARD

— Cross words —
Today’s crossword was fiendishly difficult. I’d spent twenty minutes trying to figure out six across: ‘Beginning with Spanish dippers, at Brazilian barbecue?’
I didn’t have a clue.
My wife peered over my shoulder, “Churrasco!” she said brightly.
“What?”
“The beginning of Spanish dippers… churros, and the Brazil barbecue thing… churrasco.”
She smiled disarmingly, whilst I plotted various ways of murdering her, without getting caught.
“OK, Brains”, I retorted, “Try this. Two words, four and three – last one, ‘O-F-F'”
She gave me her unimpressed look.
“In that case, you’ll find your dinner in the T, something, A, something, H!”

THOMAS

Churrasco

Gus had always loved a good churrasco, but grilling at home was fiendishly difficult now. His hands, butter-fingered with age, trembled as he tried to flip the steaks with tongs. The searing heat made him sweat, and balancing on two canes didn’t help. The first steak slid right off the grill. Cursing, he shuffled to retrieve it, nearly tipping over. His dog, Bruno, snagged the fallen prize. “Guess it’s yours now,” Gus muttered. By the time he managed a perfectly charred picanha, exhaustion won. Still, biting into the smoky meat, he grinned. Victory, however small, still tasted sweet.

TOM

Empty Click
I’m pretty sure the term Click is met with an empty response. Well, I
seem to be sore fully mistaken. The students of this century identified
as 12 general “crowds” in modern high schools: populars, jocks,
floaters, good-ats, fine arts, brains, normals, druggies-stoners,
emo/goths, anime-manga kids, and loners. It’s been half a century since
I did my click streaming, but without the exception of emo/goths and
anime-manga kids I could pretty much Id one on sight. For myself I
crossed two of these sub-groups during my high school stay: fine art and
brains. I actually graduating magna cum laude from university.

SERENDIPIDY

Dear Friend.
I was given your name by a mutual acquaintance, as a trustworthy and honest person.
I have sixteen million dollars in a bank account I need to take out of my country, but I need a sponsor for my government to authorise the transfer.
Half of that sum is reserved in your name if you are willing to help. I promise you, that if you assist me in this matter, I will give it all -Eight million- dollars to you for your kindness.
Please click on this link, to start the online transfer process.
Sincerely.
Prince Hakim Hassan.
—

NORVAL JOE

Billbert spun to face Sabrina. “What are you doing? I wasn’t going to tell them you were here.”

“I know,” she dropped her head sadly. “Your family has a reputation to maintain. I don’t want you to give it all up because of me.”

“Good.” The woman stood up. “Get your things. The family is waiting.”

Sabrina went upstairs.

“Where is she going?” Billbert asked, feeling empty.

“I can’t tell you,” Calabassa said. “Privacy concerns.”

“She’s my friend. I have the right to know!” Billbert voice rose in pitch.

She sneered. “No. You’re a little boy. You have no rights.”

PLANET Z

Even though I have a treadmill at home, I still like to walk in the rain. I get out my wet weather shoes and umbrella and put on my headphones and head out the door. There is something about the breeze and the moisture that’s refreshing. And walking through a space with trees and grass and everything else is a lot more engaging and feeling than simply walking on a treadmill, even if there’s a TV playing with a movie or scenery in which I try to lose myself. What’s a few allergy or cold pills in the end, right?

George outsourced

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Which is why the captain teamed him with a group of H1-B foreign workers, who asked him a lot of questions and took a lot of notes.
“You’re going to outsource my job, aren’t you?” George asked the captain.
“No, I’d never do that” said the captain.
Instead, he replaced George with a robot.
The foreign workers programmed it with everything George did.
The problem was, George did everything wrong, so the robot did everything wrong.
When the robot fell overboard, unlike George, who could float, the robot sank.

Weekly Challenge #987 – Visceral

The next topic is PICK TWO Give it all, Empty, Churrasco, Fiendishly difficult, Click

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s mother, her superpower being incredible efficiency, asked, “Have you spoken with her?”

He felt a conflict deep inside himself. How could he not lie to his mother and also be true to Sabrina. He couldn’t. “Yes. She said she wants to be left alone.”

Calabassa perked up. “You know where she is?”

Billbert folded his arms. “Yes. But I’m not going to tell you where.”

“Billbert,” his mother said firmly. “They have a placement for Sabrina, and she can’t stay here.”

“Why not?” Billbert snapped back. “We have plenty of room.”

“Here I am,” Sabrina said from the hallway.

TOM

shoes of the fisherman

Timmy kicked a chunk of broken marble. There was a lot of broken marble. Small fires burnt through out Rome. In the shadow of a doorway a man was going through the motion of mass to no one particular. Timmy thought this could well be the most Visceral moment of this long trip in the city. That of course was indeed a sad play on words, because the man in the doorway was Pope Visceral the V. And much like the priest is Graham Green novel had lost all but the nagging reflex of his faith. More motion that connection.

SERENDIPIDY

People think I get a visceral pleasure out of writing about gore, violence and the more unpleasant topics, and perhaps I do, but I really don’t think that’s a bad thing.
It’s just stories, after all. Right?
Well yes, and there’s no harm in that.
However, you should always bear in mind that we write about the things we know.
And I do have to undertake an awful lot of ‘research’ to ensure my stories are authentic.
I’ll be honest with you, writing about this stuff is a lot of fun.
But the real pleasure happens before I start writing!

THOMAS

VISCERAL

Benny “The Cleaver” Reynolds had been the town’s butcher for forty years. His hands, thick as hams, bore the scars of countless cuts, his apron forever stained in shades of crimson. He knew every beast from hoof to hook, could split a carcass clean with a flick of his wrist. The cold room smelled of iron and sawdust, and Benny hummed as he worked, his knife gliding through sinew like poetry. He’d seen it all—thieves sneaking in for scraps, a man hiding a body in the grinder once. Benny said nothing. He just kept cutting. Business was business.

RICHARD

— Extreme —
My brother is a bit of a thrill seeker.
He’s into extreme sports. You know the sort of thing, hang gliding, base jumping, white water kayaking. Not so much sports, as dicing with death.
He says that it’s the adrenalin and visceral sense of fear and imminent danger that drives him; I say it’s his obvious insanity.
Even so, I encourage him – it’s good to have a hobby, and as long as he’s only putting his own life at risk, that’s fine by me.
It’s not that I don’t like him.
It’s more a case that I fancy his wife!

LISA

Everyday is a School Day

“Can anyone give me a definition or put the word into a sentence?” asked teacher, Rachael, pointing at the word VISCERAL on the board.
A hand raised immediately–
“I bought a visceral jumper at the weekend!” Polly said proudly
“That blue one? It’s acrylic!” replied her friend
“Nah it’s never made of nails.”
The rest of the class were concentrating on their phones so missed the exchange. Rachael had felt for a while she needed to find a new job. it was very definitely not a visceral feeling. She got her own phone out and registered with a recruitment agency.

PLANET Z

Two men with shields over their eyes, strapped to chairs and swords strapped to their hands.
Face to face, slashing each others faces without a flinch.
Hoping their wounds scar over to show their bravery and honor.
Those who fear the blade have surgeons give them scars, agreeing with others to lie about a duel to cover their fear and shame.
If the scar is not prominent enough, they pull at the wound to deepen it.
But not through the cheek to the teeth. That is too grim a look, even for the most monstrous of the dark army’s officers.

Weekly Challenge #986 – TV in the background

The next topic is Visceral

THOMAS

The TV is always on in the Background.

The TV in the kitchen is always on, even when no one’s watching. It hums softly as Mom rolls the dice in Monopoly and Dad grumbles about losing again. My brother trades two railroads for Boardwalk while Grandma stirs her tea, shaking her head.

Between turns, we talk about the neighbors. Mrs. Parker’s new beau, Mr. Lee’s talking dog, the mystery of who keeps leaving panties on our porch.

The news anchor drones on in the background, but we barely listen. The TV is just there—like the ticking clock, the clinking dishes, and the laughter that fills our home.

LISA

An Ordinary Monday in March
It’s a day that Charlotte will never forget. The radio plays from the window sill: a story about a train derailment earlier. She wafts a towel over the toaster trying to stop the smoke alarm before it wakes the baby.
The baby wakes as her phone rings
“Hello. Mrs Biveh?”
There’s a jangle of a children’s programme from the TV in the background as a toddler clutches her leg. The smoke thickens.
“But Mummmmeeeee I neeeed to weeeeee”
“Hello? I’m PC Chalock…”
Charlotte turns the radio off, it silences the room but even in the quiet she struggles to comprehend.

RICHARD

— Scoreplay —

“Will you please turn that thing off?”
Jake frowned, “Do I have to? I like the TV in the background, ever since Patricia left me it’s been lonely around here. I like to have it on for the company.”
Now it was Anna’s turn to frown.
“But you’ve got company right now… Me! And if there’s one thing I hate, it’s trying to have sex while you’re distracted by the football!”
Jake pouted, peering over Anna’s shoulder to watch the match.
“You never told me. Why did she leave you, anyway?”
“She hated me watching TV during sex.” Jake replied.

SERENDIPIDY

You’ve got to play it smart when it comes to the cops.
They listen for clues when you make a call. Things like train sounds and church bells, or aircraft passing overhead; clues that can give away your location and lead them straight to you.
So I always put on the TV in the background, loud enough to mask out other noises.
Perhaps you might think that I’m being paranoid, but the fact is, they haven’t caught me yet.
And, if I have anything to do with it, they never will.
Not as long as I own a television, anyhow!

NORVAL JOE

After giving Sabrina enough time to get upstairs, Billbert snuck from the bathroom and listened by the kitchen to see what the two women were talking about. Unfortunately, the TV in the background covered whatever conversation they were having. He would have to step in, unprepared.

“Hi, Mom. What’s up?” he asked.

“This is Ms. Calabassa. She’s with Child Protective Services. She has a family to place Sabrina with.”

“That’s right,” she smiled at him humorlessly. “Have you seen her?”

“Nope,” Billbert said. “Not since before school. She had a meeting with a counselor, or something. Haven’t seen her since.”

TOM

Full of silence

I spoke to him daily. Long conversation on topics vast and deep. No matter the place or surrounding the air was always charged with interest. Wise witty and wondrous. Without a moment of lesser pretense. I am richer for his words, they have lingered long, yet few remain. So, I leave TV in the background on. Dull the day and go about the 1000 silence tasks that need no active thought. A hear an actor deliver his line. He says “Just do me one last favour Sherlock… One more miracle. Don’t. Be… Dead.” My god, did he love Conan Doyle.

867 irresistible

Timmy wasn’t so much irresistible as unrresistible. If you were in his presence, you could easily be drawn is to whatever madcap quest he was on, but at the same time if you as so much turn your head the illusion faded away. This is how Frank ended up 4th and Drucker waiting for the Electrician Or Someone Like Him. When a gentleman of short stature appeared to Frank’s right Timmy whispered “Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers!” To this the Dwarf replied “How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You’re Not Anywhere At All?”

868 The Homeric Hymn to Disney

Of the mouse giver we sing. He with the wry smile. He who can sell ice cube to an Eskimo. In Anaheim rich in gold. Of the duck giver we sing. He with Chicago roots. He who built the castle. In Anaheim rich in gold. Of the hidden mickeys giver, we sing. He with pencil drew. He who made the Mermaid’s queue. In Anaheim rich in gold. Of the Huey, Dewey, and Louie giver, we sing. He with child’s wisdom. He who made magic kingdoms. In Anaheim rich in gold. We sing of thee MOUSE. In Anaheim rich in gold.

PLANET Z

When I play games, I like to use my big screen TV as the monitor. It has a really fast refresh rate and the sound that comes out of the sound bar is incredible. And it’s like being in the game without having to put some goofy bulky headset on. The problem is I like to have the TV going in the background while I play games, so either I need to get a second TV to roll into the room or I stream stuff on my computer in another window through a second monitor off of the video card.

Weekly Challenge #985 – Ashlar

The next topic is TV in the background

THOMAS

ASHLAR

The Lithuanian masons of Novakouskis & Sons were unmatched in their craft, their ashlar walls stood like timeless monuments. Their office, a short walk from Ford Funeral Home, saw frequent visits from the solemn Mr. Ford. One evening, he arrived at Novak’s with an unusual request—discreet disposal of a hundred buckets of unclaimed cremains. Mr. Novakouskis nodded.

When they built the grand entrance to the Ford Home, the fine dust swirled into the concrete mix. The wall stood firm, whispering secrets only the wind could hear. “Solid work,” Ford mused, running a hand over the stone. “Built to last,” Novakouskis agreed.

RICHARD

— Ashlar —
So, I’ve been asked to write a short piece about ashlar.
Now, please excuse my ignorance, but what the heck is ashlar?
Is it some obscure historical figure that somehow got skipped whilst I was in school? Or perhaps it’s one of those lost languages that linguists get so excited about?
For all I know, it’s an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
I really don’t have a clue, and no, I’m not going to Google it – somebody said that was cheating!
Maybe I’ll just moan about my complete ignorance on the topic, and write about that instead?

SERENDIPIDY

They called him Ashlar the Brave.
A brute of a man with bulging muscles; fearless in battle and always ready to fight.
The villagers revered him, relying on him for protection against all assailants. Which mostly worked out well.
Until he met me.
He bellowed and stomped, waved his sword around and then challenged me to fight.
“Certainly.” I replied. “But, would you mind turning your back while I get changed?”
You can probably figure out what happened next.
All brawn… No brain!
They still speak of him in stories and ballads, only now he’s known as Ashlar the Stupid.

TOM

During my last semester in college, I did major research on one of the oldest monumental structures in Western Civilization. Mycenae: rich in gold; as Homer use to say. My focus was on the Lion Gate, but just outside this portal were the Beehive domes. Cobbled structures with serious dressing stonework. This form of stonework in found throughout the ancient world from India to Peru. Ashlar even found its way to the Chicago Southern Neighborhoods of my aunt and grandmother. It was a bit kiddish, but wasn’t everything in a middleclass neighborhood. Once saw a doghouse with ashlar stone work.

865

And then

I wish I could tell you what happened next . . . but that was the moment the light went out. I could wax on about the search for flashlight light and candles, but that would not help explain the body in the middle of the waiting room. How it got there? Who it was? Why it had a large red bow around its head? Further, no one in the office seems to give it much notice. I deftly stepped over he or she. For all I know she or he is still waiting in the waiting room. So, it goes.

866

You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)

Benny had a huge collection of records. 60 years of vinyl in mint condition. The lion share of these were from the year 1969. A banner year for all kinds recording artist. R/B Pop, Rock, Folk, Jazz, even Classical. Miles Davis – Cick Corea – Is Joe Cocker – With a Little Help from My Friends B.J. Thomas – Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin Cream – Goodbye Poco – Pickin’ Up the Pieces Crosby, Stills & Nash – Crosby, Stills & Nash Creation Mass Joseph Haydn Triple Concerto Ludwig Van Beethoven

NORVAL JOE

“Right,” Billbert said and ran to the ashlar steps that had replaced the original wooden planks of the front porch and slipped inside.

His mother was speaking with someone in the family room. He had to get into the kitchen without being seen. He would look too suspicious if he peeked around the corner to see if they were looking.

He strolled past, headed for the back door.

“Billbert. Is that you?” his mother called.

“Yeah, Mom. Just going to the bathroom,” Billbert said.

He unlocked the back door, hopped into the bathroom, and waited for Sabrina to tiptoe past.

PLANET Z

I keep a bird feeder in the back yard.
There’s a baffle on the pole to keep squirrels out of it.
They rummage through the seeds and other stuff that falls from the feeder.
I keep a container in the screened-in patio to refill the feeder.
Well, a squirrel got into the screen, ate some spilled seeds, and broken into the container to eat some more.
My cat chased the squirrel around for a bit.
The containers are in the garage now, and I’ve duct-taped the screen until I can pop it back into place.
The cat’s asleep, as usual.

Weekly Challenge #984 – Caught in time

The next topic is Ashlar

THOMAS

Caught In Time

Every Tuesday, Miriam brought my Walmart groceries, her bonnet crisp, her voice soft. This week, she sneezed twice as she handed me my bags. I nodded, uneasy. By Thursday, my throat burned. By Friday, fever.

I lay in bed, certain I’d caught something from her—something plain, Mennonite, unvaccinated. The irony struck me: I, a man of modern medicine, felled by a woman still baking bread in a wood stove.

I’d called Walmart to report it. Then came regret. Had I damned her? Had I let fear twist my judgment? Caught in time, but too late to take back. Damn!

RICHARD

— Flashback —
It was unexpected.
I almost missed it amongst the paperwork during the clearout.
The photograph fluttered to the ground, freed from the pile of old newspapers and random leaflets that had accumulated over who knows how many years.
I retrieved it and flipped it over, and suddenly realised what I was holding.
A precious moment, from so long ago, caught in time by the camera’s lens and kept for posterity. Not just a picture, but a cherished memory.
So long forgotten, and I’d almost thrown it away.
Now it sits in pride of place, in a frame on my desk.

SERENDIPIDY

The question is not so much what did I do, but whether it was caught in time?
You know I developed the virus.
You are well aware by now that I released it into the wild.
And you certainly understand the consequences of what I’ve done.
But it’s going to take time to develop an antidote.
Research and development are costly, complex, and are unable to come up with a solution overnight.
But, overnight may well be the only time you have.
And even then, it may be too late.
I know the answer, of course.
But, I’m not telling!

TOM

984

TimeY WyMe

Not easy being a Time Lord. Hard enough to catch a falling anvil. Try catching the most important moment in a person’s life. Knowing the exact place to be and just the right level of interaction. Not easy my friend, sometime it goes way-way south and you spend eons backtracking in the Time Loop to set things right. Take this here butterfly, looks like a normal butterfly, yes. Well, no this butterfly is actually every butterfly or more to the point “butterfly is an illusion.” A single soul caught in time. Trend lightly in her presence less the unraveling begins.

861

Remote

In the olden day there were only seven channels available on the Tv set. To watch these Tv stations one had to arrange a set of “Rabbit Ears” into a reasonable representation of modern art a top your set next to the ceramic Leppard. Wish to bring joy to your grandparents? Use “Rabbit Ears” in a complete sentence. Proper verb optional. To change stations, one had to turn a dial, but at some point, the remote control was created, but the signal was sent by banging two pieces of metal together. Think a single note wind chime in your hand.

862

Rubegoldbergian

I love games as a child. Drove my parents crazy to get the next kid centric boardgame. Hands down the must kinetic game was Mouse Trap. Not much on plot, high on execution. One would think the limited number of moves would bring on a sense of boredom. Nope fun every time. Little did I figure out at the time this would prepare me for the endless twisted path the modern world cast in my path. I only wish that each of life’s machination was a brightly colored piece of plastic that could be neatly disassemble back in the box.

NORVAL JOE

On his way home from school, Billbert stopped by the hospital to see how Mr. Withybottom was doing. The nurse told him Linoliamanda and her mother had just left with their driver, but he might find them in the parking lot if he caught them in time. Unfortunately, they were already gone. Disappointed, Billbert continued home.

As he passed his fence, he heard Sabrina whisper from his back yard. “Billbert. Don’t look at me, so that if anyone asks, you can say you haven’t seen me. Just go unlock the back door so I can sneak up to my room.”

PLANET Z

Nobody remembers the actress Sapphire Frankel.
Her raspy Southern drawl ensured an end to her career in the talkies era.
All of her films were on nitrate stock, none were preserved.
The studio records building burned up in a warehouse fire in the fifties.
Promotional posters all lost to the dustbin, not a single one in the hands of a collector.
She had an aversion to merchandising, never wrote a memoir.
No children, no family.
No affairs with Hollywood legends, not even Tallulah Bankhead or Marlene Dietrich.
Not even a gravesite, her ashes scattered by a studio secretary long ago.