Category: Houston Keys

Wade! Get your cottage cheese dimpled buttocks in here!
Yeah Jerry…
Wade What The Fish Sticks is going on with Tony Romo and Jessica
Simpson? Now my star quarterback, the man I built my franchise around,
is going around singing “Sweet Child ‘O Mine” at a karaoke bar!
Well… Jerry…
And that dadgum Joe Simpson keeps calling trying to renegotiate Tony’s
contract! That man makes ME feel creepy, and I have Jerry Junior as my
son…
Yes Daddy!
Get OUT! I tell you Wade, that Simpson girl is the Cowboys’ Yoko Ono!
We need a plan to bump her off!

Houston Keys comes back during the week for a special love story…

She was a nice girl, pretty and sweet with smiling eyes.
He met her at an ice cream social and they quickly fell in love. Their parents didn’t approve of their relationship. He was from a bad background and she was from privilege so they ran off to Vegas to get married.
She was sweet, but loud, very loud, and demanding.
Things only got worse once they were married and bought a house. He would drink to escape her nagging and complaining. Eventually he came to realize the magic was gone.
That’s why she’s now buried under the kitchen floor.

It’s all systems go when Houston Keys sends in his 100 word stories.

Floating in space above the blue and green ball we call Earth with nothing to block your view was incredible, you could see forever.
Captain Hunter was moving briskly from the front of the shuttle to the rear when he realized he couldn’t stop. Arms flailing he uselessly tried to change his course in some way. Reaching the extreme length of his umbilical tether it popped, exhausting his air supply. His body reacted with a violent pop filling his spacesuit with red goo, boiling in the oxygen less environment.
That game of crack the whip wasn’t such a good idea.

Let’s give a big hand to Houston Keys for a fun 100 word story that’s all about family.

Being the father of a large family took it’s toll on Jim. He often sought out refuge in the only place a fifty year old father of five could go for quiet, the bathroom.
It had it’s downsides as Jim had hemorrhoids the size of dogs and he carried the smell of Charmin and feces with him.
The final straw came when he locked himself in the toilet for eight hours straight, ignoring the cries of the bowels of his family. Taking a play from Janet Reno they cut power to the bathroom and charged the door in riot gear.