Category: Tom

Many folk with two left feet have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

I write stories in a 55 gallon drum. It is quiet and quite cozy. Just enough room for a writing table if you bend just so. I got a friend name Rudy who forklifts me around town. We start at Noah’s bangles and end up at Sizzlers. I always sit with by barrel to the wall; never know when one of the boys might be sent around to take someone out. Just last week a couple rounds put a dent in the front side of my drum. Boy that real pissed me off. Rudy dumped that sucker in the bay.

Many folk with attached earlobes have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

The Following is a whole hearted endorsement for drugs. Any minors currently reading must immediately stop and precede to the closest wholesome activity perhaps a church fellowship meeting. Remember Just Say No. Ok it’s just us adult then. I was an alter boy straight arrow boy scout. Ten hours after the big silver bird touched down in California I lit up my first joint. Didn’t do a thing, so I dropped a four way of window pain LSD on my eyeball. Truly haven’t been the same since, thank god. Works marginally well on the writing, works wonders on the seeing.

Many folk with three nostrils have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

My motto is theft is the farest form of Flattery. If it ain’t nailed down it goes on the page. I like to peruse the 2 dollar book rank at Borders. It seems in spite of a lack of popular acceptance these books got a lot of mineable stuff. The poor schmoe wrapped his brilliant four sentences in 45000 words of dribble. He gets a letter from his publisher inviting him to the outer reaches of oblivion. I just do a little Midnight Requisition. Got that from All the Starts Came Out That Night. Thanks Kevin checks in the mail.

Many folk with varying hair length asked how do you Tom Write a 100 word story

Over the years I’ve found the discipline of a college course has led to many of my actually finished works of fiction. Being in an environment where weekly critique and weekly submissions helped create a sense of camaraderie helped keep the focus on the task at hand. I have been fortunate to have had instructors whose day jobs were as working editors. In minutes prose I thought were totally hammered out were redacted to cleaner more polished prose. Being at a Community College you get more literal bang for your literal buck. I attended the same JC as Amy Tam.

Many folk with eyelids have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

At the turn of the last century, not the one starting with two, want-to-be writers would hang adoringly at the feet of great authors hoping their greatness would literally rub-off. Well since the advent of the WHATEVER school of social conscience this tacked at greatness has fallen into disfavor. I think it’s high time for a renaissance. So I headed over to Steven King’s house. He opened the door and I said I wanted to hang adoringly at his feet. He hand me a bucket of water and a sponge. I do his feet weekly; it’s improved my writing 100%

Many folk with left ventricles have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

You will note that in our last installment I pointed out the use of convoluted word structure as a vehicle to fame and fortune. Sadly I am compelled to point out this only works 90% of the time. To grab that last 10% one must resort to the use of foreign words. Most Latin words have already been sublimated into American English, but it you look carefully there are some with damn weird conjugations that you can use. Greek is good but be sure to use them in italics. Arabic is bit snooty, but you can’t go wrong with French.

Many folk with multiple vertebrae have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

I have found the more syllables you cram into a word the smarter you sound. People are prone to blindly agree with something said if they have no idea what the hack it meant. As a rule you can not go far a field if you stick to roman roots with a mess of suffixes and prefixes. Words used by German PhDs from the seventeen hundred are fair game. If you are at loss make a word up. Who knows some puer-ile dunce might see it and bam your in Webster’s. Try this one out hypercriticallity sounds pretty swank Yes.

Many folk with apposing thumbs have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story

If your goal is to put someone to sleep nothing beats a good bedtime story. Though cadence and tone are important don’t forget the list of essential words. Soft, floating, warm, wrapped, resting, heavy, drift, peacefully. You are laying on a pile of plush pillows. They rise from the deck of a boat floating gently down the meandering river. You are wrapped in warm blankets. All the world is resting. Your eyelids are growing heavy. You drift peacefully to sleep. An alien tractorbeam is lifting you upward. A green man with a stout cylinder in his hand smiles. Sweet dreams.

Many folk have walked up to me on the street and asked how do you tom write a 100 word story

Wow it’s been 100 hours since I started. Even with sleeping I have churned out 50 stories. Each vaguely about some aspect of writing. I have made sure to offer no usable advice, to be as confusing and obscure as possible. If you have been following along, shame on you go out side and play in the sun. For the poor souls who have listen I have an added treaty. The structure of this opus is actual Mahler’s Sixth Symphony using each letter in place of its corresponding note. Email me your address and I’ll send you the transformation key.