Category: Tom

The kids at William G Fargo High school have the badest assess varsity team in the state. Not once in 50 years have they lost the New York State Barrel riding competitions. You think football is tough ha. Wrestling ha ha. Try dropping 167 feet with 8 million cube feet pounding down on ya with nothing more that 20 egg crates and jock strap. That’s the rule in Buffalo naked Over the falls in a barrel. The team motto leave with your barrel or over your barrel. Cool thing about this sport are points are award even posthumously , actually most.

Bobby love to say Over and under. Older brother Mat would sternly remind him it was Over and Out. As a Wings Over The World pilot Mat held the words as near sacred. In the years after the collapse the airmen created a network of aviators statesmen that grew into the new world order.

Mat’s wing while flying over the red zone met fire from the last pocket of warlords. A well placed shot took out Mat’s aircraft. Bobby opened the envelope his brother had left him. It was signed love Mat over and under. Bobby called his air wing Over&Out

Ok I’m a bit confused here. Why would you need to put shutters on a wall? I mean what need would they serve? It’s not like you have to keep the rain and bright sun from falling against stone brink or concrete. Further how many would you need? Would you have a mess of small ones or one gigantic iron grate suspended by iron hinges pull open by an army of enslaved orcs.
“pswsha miswsha”
“What do mean I got it wrong”?
“pswsha miswsha”
“The walls shuddered in his advance.”
“My bad”
“”pswsha miswsha”
“Just build a bonfire in back”

Mom and Dad didn’t want no silly child. Oh no that just wasn’t an option. So they signed little Timmy up for Baby Outward Bound. B.O.B. takes an airplane full of six year olds fly over Northern North Dakota drops them from 1500 feet with a full army field pack. Six weeks later while Mom and Dad were slipping expressos on the desk they were to say the least unprepared for the return of Baby Timmy or should I say TimBo. His face was stripped with deer’s blood and keep starring at them with a crooked smile.

Me not Happy.

“O the games we play” reminisced Joey readjusting his titanium visor. As kids Frankie and Joey had invented the game GUNS. It came out of that totally symmetric kid logic that in kid game theory weather Cowboys and Indians or Cops and Robbers no one wanted to be the stereotypic bad guy. So the game was everyone shot at everyone.
“I got you”
“You missssssed”
They quickly run through rubberband guns, bb guns, paintball guns. Finally live ammo. Thank god for Kevlar thought Joey drawing a bead on Frank.
“I got a new game.”
He turned.
“I call it BAZOOKAS”

22nd of January 1879 Rorke’s Drift South African John Chard of her majesties 24th regiment foot in command. Word has reached us of the Isandhlwana massacre. 2000 souls lost. Retreat unlikely will make last stand at the mission ….
Chard lay down his pen looked to the west. “Damn, Rain,” Colour Sergeant Bourne stated “That wasn’t thunder, that was 1000 infantry helmets being struck. The Zulu are sending a message. The storm is upon you.” Chard rebuttoned this tunic “I will met that storm with a hail of lead.”
11 members of the 24h were awarded the Victoria Cross for valor.

The grayback move carefully to the edge of ridge. The valley was shrouded in mist that curl about the cliff and the true height of the plateau was hidden . The grayback feel the ground slide, tiny stones rolled forward. He reach out but grabbed only wisps of mist. Down into the valley he tumbled
3.5 million years later a team of Stanford students discover the fossils remains of the oldest know ancestor of modern man. The team carefully loads the plane with the fossils unfortunately a mist shrouded the valley and plane, team and fossil crash into the cliff.

I didn’t think it was humanly possible to step into a Slim Jim. Its pretty much a glorified strip of metal. But Nelman Freder was not your average soul. He had spent so much time in the ER they had reserved a seat with his name on it. They still tell the tale on the floor about the Gerbil and flashlight extraction. Doctor Dan wasn’t surprise to see Nelman hobble on to the floor with a Slim Jim wobbling to and fro embedded in the middle of his foot, a screwdriver in his thigh and door handle in his nose.

IIIII me mateEs we at Pirate Smorgies prides ourselves with the best cuisine available in the Pirate Kingdom.
“What the Fuck you talking about. This is a bucket of gruel” return Little Jack Silvers.
“IIII gruel it be but the best gruel their be.”
“Best? I think not. Molly McKnees got better” said peg leg Bruce.
“III but is it at molly’s ’tis not all you can eat?”
“I wouldn’t eat any of it.” Said jack
Well I guess that would constitute all you can eat. me boy.
“Screw this I going to get a big mac and some fries”

Some claim Landord Zoelin was a mad scientist I’d say he was just plan sad. Example what sort of evil genus would combined cyborgs with toothpaste. Your going to deploy them with an army of marauding dental floss.
“You laugh today” screamed Zoelin. “But one day I and Colgate Palmolive with rule the world. Into the room oozed Cyborg 1052 “Resistance is futile,” he sloshed. A minty green nano tube smacked Zoelin in the forehead.
Wiping goo off his face he yelled, “Someone get this moron back in his tube.”
“At your command” bellow Billy the bagel droid