I got married in a Kilt. My wife’s mum was Scottish. Now I’m Irish not orange thank you very much. So I went looking for a Kilt fit for a son Éire. The Kilt store man said he had a bunch of blue wool used to make kilts for the all Irish pipe band. I said how much? He said $400. Gail said I turn green. I gave the man a pile of green. I got this solid blue kilt. I like to tell folk it’s a very subtle tartan a big strip of blue crossing a small blue strip.
Category: Tom
Just Another Day In Paradise
“I saw it move,” yelled Max. Sure enough it was a Zombie scout, well scout is bit of an overstatement. It was just the edge Zombie of a whole mess of Zombies coming their way. Max and Lester had been staying ahead of the herd more through luck then any innate skill in Zombie combat. Max liked overkill, and nothing says overkill like a bazooka. “Up” yelled Lester. Swoosh. Boom. No more Zombie. It’s a little known fact; Zombies don’t eat other Zombie so smearing your self with fresh Zombie goo will keep you safe for a day or two.
Come The Dawn
Lord Packwood glanced over the table. There were flintlocks, sabers, maces, ray guns, and some electrified gages he had no idea what possible damage they could inflict. “Chose,” said the younger rake. Dam this dueling bullshit. Every third son in the shire had challenged him at least once to a stand off. “Got to make an example out of this one,” said Packwood. “I chose endoscopes at ten inches.” Percy Wainwright turned quite pale and whisper to his second. A large bag of gold coins dropped on the table. Honor restored Dr Packwood put Big Ben back in the bag.
I Am A Rock
I feel the pull and a slight warmth upon me. Its pattern is exactly 28 units long. It arches over me and changes the flat about me. I wonder if it is round like me. What makes her move above me? She is too far for us to touch unlike the small bits that shift below me. I sense we had the same beginnings and will come to the same end. But not today for the rock, a child’s hand has carefully placed it in a paper bag and it will be for a time separated from its harsh mistress.
Blood Brothers
Mucus and Eyes Like An Owl lay on their backs and watched the stars slowly cross the sky. Mucus always grumbled that his name really sucked. Eyes Like an Owl liked to point out oozed would be a better adjective. Mucus would punch him in the ribs and Eyes would laugh which pissed Mucus off even more. A low growl emerged from the tree line. “I got a bad feeling about this,” said Eyes. He turned toward Mucus, but Mucus was gone. From far enough away Mucus watched the bear eat Eyes Like an Owl. No one likes eating Mucus.
Magic Hat
I have a magic hat. No it’s not pointy. Has nothing to do with wizards witches or warlocks. The magic comes from the part it played in meeting my wife. I signed up for this ESTy workshop needed some dress pants. While wandering around Montgomery Ward Men’s department I dropped a black fedora on my head. I found the pants and keep the hat. During that workshop a young woman came up to me and said, “ All you need is a 15 foot scarf.” I stared back puzzled. She pointed at the fedora. “Yes, a love the Doctor, to.”
How do you write 100 word stories? #100
TRIPLE DIGITES
Many many thanks to all the folk who have listened to this collect. With your help we can end vestiphoia in our life time
This ends my 100 100s and I’ve save the best for last. Stories are dust unless they have a shelf to rest, a place to be. To be surround with a mountain of stories. With out Mr Laurence Simon these tiny bubbles would have long ago lost there rainbow and faded to gray and burst. Take your tales and find them a home. It is not good enough to put the words on the page they have to be seen or in the case of podcasting.isfulofcrap.com they were allowed to be heard. I thank you Laurence and I will be brief
How do you write 100 word stories? #99
Many folk with hidden agendas have asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story
Since I have been writing stories in 100 word chucks I find I have been able to reduce all my analytic reporting to that size. Be it troop assessments in Afghanistan or Chilean Copper labor trends everything is 100 words long. Some of these pieces have escaped into the wild and ended up on the desk of the director of the Heritage Foundation. So here I am working for a think tank no make that two think tanks I’m on loan to the Hoover now. If this works out with these guys I might head over to the White House.
How do you write 100 word stories? #98
Many folk songs sing out how do you Tom write a 100 word story
I find deadlines as a useful tool to keep me pumping out this dribble. I just take the form to a higher level of absurdity. I tie a fishing line to a Smith and Weston one chambered loaded, spin and start writing. A sword is suspect from the ceiling over my head if the 45 miss fires. A last line prevents the Africa Kill bee from getting out of a box under the desk. Sadly multiple deadlines have limited effect on zombies. Can you please pass that plate of brains, watch out for the trip line under the … sorry.
How do you write 100 word stories? #97
Many folk with Elvis hairdos have asked do you want to be my good luck charm o o o o
But then asked how do you Tom write a 100 word story thank you very much.
We here at the weekly challenge embrace the democratic process. You will note you the voting public chose whomever they feel has risen to the heights of brevity in quality and vote for them on the pole at the site. Sometime they place into the hands of reality challenge authors the opportunity to choose a topic so obscure and archaic it leave we contenders blankly staring at the screen. The writer warrior’s friend in time as those is the flaming silver spear of reference the internet. Take Vestiphoia, actually take it far away and bury it in an unmarked grave.