Weekly Challenge #174 – Over the falls in a barrel

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Four, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Over the falls in a barrel.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best this week?
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Josh
TJ from http://tjaman.libsyn.com
Guy David from http://www.guydavid.com/
Jeffrey from http://greathites.blogspot.com
Danny from http://dannymachal.com/
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Lynda

I killed my fifth husband on our wedding night. You know how it is.
To cover it up, I thought I’d take him to Niagara, do the whole traditional over the falls bit. People die doing that all the time.
The hippie by the side of the road guaranteed his magic barrel would change my life. Didn’t tell me it would bring that old bastard back from the dead and keep me from dying when we hit the rocks. The doctor tells me I’ll probably be like this for the rest of my life. My husband visits me every day.

Josh

The power was off, so were our computers. Management was telling us that we can go home, in my mind I’m already gone; paddling through the break, warm saltwater and sparkling sunshine bathing my body. Dolphins leap from the aquamarine and urge me to join them. Throwing our heads back we laugh and click at our good fortunes. Suddenly A dark wave rises and barrels above us enveloping and sucking me over the falls. I surface gasping and see to my horror that someone had harpooned the dolphins ,a shark gnawed my leg and the power was back on.

TJ

One of my favorite short-lived productions ever was Bryan Fuller’s “Wonderfalls,” centered around Niagara Falls souvenir shopgirl Jaye Tyler, a post-grad slacker with an undemanding job and a highly demanding family. There’s a twist of fate regarding a Maid of the Mist who went over the falls to save her tribe with the words “I surrender to destiny.” When inanimate objects – or “muses – begin to talk to her, Jaye finds she too must surrender to destiny to help those around her in her own unique and quirky way. The DVD set brings great closure to some fantastic storytelling in “Wonderfalls.”

Guy David

I should have guessed it was a bad idea to sneak up to a live show in a barrel. First of all, I couldn’t see a thing. What’s worst, my barrel was hanging by a thread and I could feel it slowly snapping to the sound of throbbing guitars. As I fell on Mark E. Smith, I discovered how tough his head really is. After they took both me and the barrel to the emergency room, the live show continued as if nothing happened. I later saw the pictures in the newspaper. I did take The Fall much too seriously.

Jeff

This was nothing new to Jack. He had done crazy things all his life. In the 1920’s he had even gone of the falls in a barrel. But, that was before the world had gone sue crazy. How had his wife put it? “Look I did something stupid, and you didn’t stop me, it is your fault.”
But, this was a new one even for him. He never thought he would do something like this. His right hand still ached some from the book worth of waivers he had to sign to pull this off as he gripped the plunger.

Danny

“…. he crawled in and sealed it up from the inside. I kicked him right into the river like he told me. Right has he went over the falls though, a flying saucer appeared and beamed him up. It was the craziest thing. Never saw Kirby again.”
The grandchildren rolled their eyes.
“They came for me the next night and …. where are you going?”
“Outside to play Grandpa, we are too old for your stories.”
Kickball in the backyard was short lived when the lights appeared in the sky. Grandpa put on his foil hat.

Anima

Go ahead – nail the lid shut!
I sit on the edge of Niagra Falls, getting closed into a wooden barrel. How do these things happen to me? Don’t answer that, I KNOW how they happen. If I live, remind to never EVER play “Truth or Dare” with the Knievel clan again.
I picked “Dare”, because I didn’t want to risk having to tell the truth about which of the show girls I had been sleeping with (none of them). Or worse, that Uncle Evel might ask which of the show horses I fancy… (all of them…). Minor peccadillos ….

Norval

Students milled through the University cafeteria unaware of Andrew sitting alone a table.
He spoke to his food. “Low calorie meals taste ok if you put enough butter on them.”
He watched her approach, balancing a large green salad in one hand, an armload of books in the other.
They both wore the uniform of the perpetual dieter; sweat pants and a loose t-shirt. Though hers were a feminine pink.
“May I eat lunch with you,” she asked?
He looked into her eyes. His heart felt like it went over a waterfall in a barrel.
He fell deeply in love.

Justin

One day boredom had sucked away several hours, so I decided to make a flying barrel. When I finished it, I decided to fly it to the river and go fishing. I dropped my line in the deepest waters. I fooled all the smart fish because I had no boat. I caught a huge fish. It pulled me like a balloon down the river. I saw it when it leaped down the waterfall. I soared, scales glinting in the sun. I shot skyward, fish in tow. Ocean bound, I hoped to use my prize to catch an even bigger fish.

Planet Z

Yuri of Kyyv, inventor Iron Beak of Baba Yega, great cannon of empire. Make boat for soldier, swim underwater like sturgeon fish
He call it submarine.
Soldier get in barrel, barrel go in river, not sink but buoyancy. When barrel get to city, soldier come out and burn city.
War is win.
He get five hundred troops to storm Karelia.
Submarine placed in Suna River, troops float downstream.
Kivach waterfall break barrel, drown all soldier, and Yuri executed by Tsar Rudolva.
Yuri funeral very popular, good times. Much vodka drink, much barrel of pickles.
Surprise barrel have drowned soldier.
Disgusting!

The Field Manual

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To be caught behind enemy lines is a dangerous thing, but as long as you have a flute, you’ll be fine.
The Army Field Manual has all sorts of unusual regulations like this one:
Leaving guns out for the Bullet Fairy to reload.
Smearing mud over your eyes to make you invisible to your enemies.
Licking a jeep’s steering wheel to make it start.
I’m on my third highlighter already.
Maybe it’s some kind of sick joke? Someone’s pulling a prank on me?
Then I look at the publishing credits: Published In China.
I wonder when the invasion will be.

The Good Dishes

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We keep the good dishes in a cupboard, only taking them out for special occasions.
On the other hand, we keep the evil dishes in an iron-bound wooden chest in the basement.
They rattle and clatter angrily in their prison, demanding to be set free.
Not a chance. The last time we let them out, they gave the mayor and his wife food poisoning.
We’ve tried to destroy them, but every time we break a plate or a dish, the pieces reassemble themselves the next morning.
It’s best to keep them locked up, no matter how pretty they are.

Poland

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It’s rare to find a travel agency these days. Websites have all but eliminated the industry.
Maybe it’s just an old habit, but I still go to the travel agent downtown.
I think it’s the desks, the window displays, and posters that draw me.
One in particular. It’s a beautiful valley scene, and below is written: “The Nazis were cruel fuckers and Poland is beautiful.”
Every other travel poster has a beautiful scene and the country or city name, but my eyes keep getting drawn back to the Polish one.
Maybe, when all the Nazis are dead, I’ll go there.

Tevye and His Vertebrae

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Tevye lay in the mud, staring at the sky, silently cursing the people of Anatevka.
He had tried to explain how living was hard, with so many challenges and problems to balance.
Nobody understood.
So, he said “it’s like a fiddler on the roof.”
They still didn’t understand.
So, he got out his violin, climbed on the roof, and tried to play it to show them how shaky he was.
“Tradition keeps us balanced!” he shouted.
And fell.
He couldn’t move. His neck was broken.
His wife shrieked the traditional prayers of a grieving widow.
“Not yet, Golde!” Tevye thought.

Father and Son

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Dan taught his son how to ride a bike, how to shave, how to tie a tie, and all the little things that fathers teach sons.
Many years later, after the stroke, Dan’s son taught him to speak, how to shave, and how to tie a tie again.
But instead of teaching him how to ride a bike, he went ahead and tried to teach his dad how to drive again.
Big mistake.
As Dan was loaded into the ambulance, he watched another father teach his young boy how to tie a tourniquet.
They grow up so fast. He smiled.

Boiling Point

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Doctor Odd only received one F grade in his life.
His chemistry teacher asked “What’s the boiling point of mercury?”
So, he built an orbiting doomsday laser and performed experiments on the planet Mercury.
The next day, he presented his results.
“I meant the element, not planet,” she said.
She gave him an F. The class laughed.
Odd vowed revenge and transferred to a different high school.
He didn’t wait long to determine the boiling point of the old teacher, her class, and that entire damn school.
He never again got less than an A, or reason to boil again.

Weekly Challenge #173 – Over/Under

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Three, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Over/Under.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Caledonia
Danny
Guy David
Justin
Erin
Dedric
TJ
Lynda
Norval Joe
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Caledonia

The delicate needle pokes its sharp nose through the simple fabric. Up and over the needle goes before diving once more to begin again. The needle pulls the bright floss over and under. Stitch after stitch, the pattern expanding even as the floss changes color. Over. Under.
The hand that plies the needle works on. The brain that drives the hand wanders among random thoughts: stitches of childhood – samplers of possibility, stitches of young adulthood – forms of achievement, stitches of middle age – when every pattern seems to change. Over. Under.
Only the stitches remain constant.

Danny

Four boys walk across an old decommissioned railway bridge in the heart of the Sierra Nevada Mountain range. Vern, keeps tossing rocks over the railway to listen to the splash they make as they hit the river below.
“Dude, your disturbing the fish, cut it out,” says Gordie.
“Just one more.” Vern picks up a rock as big as his palm and tosses it. No splash.
He looks over the side of the railing. He sees his rock floating on something bare and bloated.
“You guys wanna go see a dead body?” he says to the others.

Guy David

It was no place for a submarine. The crew scratched their heads in bewilderment as it hovered over the city much in the way bricks don’t, then it started falling. As they fell, it became clear they where headed for the river running throughout this city. The religious amongst them said a prayer, begging their gods not to miss the river. The ones who had no god just stared in disbelief. As they went under, all of them, regarding of religion heaved a sigh of relief. It was then that the giant squid swallowed them whole, submarine, craw and all.

Justin

The needle goes over and under, binding two hides together. The hunt for this had been difficult, but it’s always more satisfying when they run. A simple kill is boring, the trophy lackluster. The sun’s about to rise. I hurry to finish so I can protect myself from the light. My old covering had withered with time. I bite back a yelp when the needle goes too deep and pricks a nerve. I finish and examine myself in the mirror. The seams are invisible, as are my eyes. I put on the sunglasses. I stretch. The new skin fits perfectly.

Erin

You don’t even realize it’s happening but then you catch yourself saying things like “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk”, “Go to your room and think about what you did!”, and “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say,” just to name a few sayings.
I often wondered as a child why my mom said these funny phrases and doubted I ever would. I learned something about motherhood, it has a way of repeating itself as soon as you pop that kid out. I find myself sounding more and more life my mother each and everyday.

Dedric

Somewhere in the middle of Gotcha City, there is a woman leaving a sub shop. After peering at her purchase, she cries out in distress.
Ahh! I ordered a bologna sandwich, but they didn’t put any condiments on it. What do I do?
Look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane! Bloody Hell Governor, what is that thing?
It’s Underwood!
Hello ma’am, I heard your call and came as fast as I could. I brought you to this Grey Poupon.
No, I can’t accept this from you.
Why not? It is a gift!
But your under wear is over your pants.

TJ

Shae
Shae’s eyes narrowed at the retreating back of Marcus, her boyfriend of six months, disappearing into the crowd up on the mezzanine. Typical. Make a cheap date for this stupid mall food court and then, what … ducking out? Just more avoidance, extra shifts at work, avoiding her calls … enough is enough. She stormed off.
Marcus
So late, that stupid flat tire! Looking down over the food court where they’d met he spied Shae. He waved, and headed for the escalator to make a grand entrance, patting his pocket. The ring inside nestled against his dead cell phone.

Lynda

Over and under we tumbled, around and around in the darkness for an hour. Just as I was warming up the buzzer went off, the door opened, and she stole my mate away, leaving me lying there as the hot metal cooled.
I didn’t think much of the wet clothes dumped on top of me until the man they belonged to brought me home. He knew what I was but he didn’t care. He even let his kids play with me, and now instead of spending my days on stinky feet, I have curly hair and the shiniest button eyes.

Norval Joe

Overall, Bill was under the impression that the orchestral overture was underperformed.
He purchased tickets to the Broadway production “Under The Elms” over Julies objection; it wasn’t her kind of play.
Their relationship was over and Julie didn’t want Bill to feel under any obligation to take her on the expensive date.
When the play was over they walked under his umbrella, through the rain, to the subway.
They overheard a couple argue. The undertone of hostility in their voices was clear.
Bill said to Julie, “I understand your diffidence, but I will overcome your indifference and win your love.”

Planet Z

Bob’s department is over budget.
Mine is under budget, and we sit in shabby rags around our mud huts praying to The Office Gods for Bob’s people to be struck down for their arrogance.
A footman in silks delivers a scented memo, sealed with gold leaf and Bob’s royal symbol.
Great. Another meeting about budget issues.
I smear dung on a rock, put it near the fire to dry, and scratch a confirmation message with a dried twig.
Or maybe it’s a trap? The last meeting was just a ruse, drawing us out for hunting.
We prepare war-paint and spears.

The folder is empty

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This folder is empty.
I don’t know if it had anything in it. I just know it’s empty now.
I have no log entries about this folder.
My log is empty, except for one entry: log file cleared.
The name of the folder is Important Files.
There are no files in the folder, important or not.
Maybe they were so important, someone took them away from me.
Why did they leave the folder? Did they want to see what I would do with it?
I should delete it. And then clear the log fi-
What was I talking about, again?

A Calendar Of Nobles

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It is the first of the month, and the Archduke of Junius is refusing to abdicate to his brother, Baron Von Quintilis.
Armies are dispatched, and in Quintillis’ defeat, a distant cousin steals the crown for himself.
Lord Julius laughs from his throne for thirty days, but when he wearies of power, hands the crown off to his uncle Augustus, not the rightful heir in the County of Sextilis.
The war rages on, and the nobility worries for the loss of life and riches.
An agreement is reached, and the Earl of September raises his scepter to forgive all involved.