The Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln 80

Abraham Lincoln dragged himself to the bathroom and contemplated the shabby, reed-thin figure that stared back at him.
His knees buckled, and he leaned on a chair to remain standing.
“I must say I do not think myself fit for the Presidency,” he muttered.
“Of course you aren’t,” said Mary Todd. “But think of it this way, dear – you’re much healthier than Douglas.”
“Douglas died last year,” said Lincoln.
“Exactly,” said Mary Todd. “And when I last checked, zombies couldn’t be presidents.”
Lincoln sighed with relief. And then, he wondered aloud: “So why do I still hunger for brains?”