Welcome to the sixty-second Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Tom of Footnote: How I spent my summer inside a Turkish prison.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and let me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!
ROCKY
The charge was cruelty to farm animals. I was sentenced to 6 months in this facility. So far it hasn’t been so bad.
I have met a lot of pretty nice people. Over there, that’s Snake. We have a lot in common. We both love cats. We traded recipes.
That guy over there is Big Willy. He doesn’t say much. He must be a clean freak because he spends most of his free time in the showers.
Hey look! There’s a shiny quarter. Someone must have dropped it. They say here, finders keepers, losers weepers..
Right Big Willy? Big Willy? BIG WILLY!!!!
JENNY
Dear mom and dad,
When you said I should summer at Gramma’s house in Turkey I figured it
would be good for us to spend some time apart after the tensions of last
semester.
I realize you’re disappointed that I failed Algebra II. Most parents
would ground their child or take away their phone but I’m pretty sure they
would not plant a kilo of heroine in their kid’s suitcase and then warn
the Turkish officials that a dangerous drug mule would be arriving that
day. Oh and wrapping the drugs in my report card? Nice touch.
You guys are assholes.
Love, Karen
CALEB
It’s no spring picnic spending your summer vacation inside a Turkish prison. The falafel is just awful. The kefir inspires fear. And the baloney sandwiches aren’t very good either. Knowing all this, I decided to win the hearts and minds of my fellow inmates and smuggled in a nice hard sausage for them. Of course we had to hide it from the guards but everyone enjoyed my sausage so much it wasn’t like being in prison at all. Honestly, I can’t wait to go back next summer. Just so long as I get to go to a women’s prison again.
GUY DAVID
I was hungry. Really hungry. I know you’re supposed to save the turkey till Christmas, but it was my summer vacation, and I was in Turkey after all, so it somehow fit. I was just about to put it in the oven when I figures I forgot to put the paprika, and, that I didn’t actually have paprika in the first place. Fortunately, I had a very nice neighbor next door, so I told her the whole story, only, somehow she heard the word “Turk” instead of “Turkey”. I spent the rest of my summer vacation inside a Turkish prison.
TOM
Last year Mom and Dad took us to Disneyland. It sucked. It was phony and silly and the food was really really bad. Dad said he was tired of our bitching and moaning so he said we would be going on a real vacation this year. We had to choose from three fun filled packages. The Shank Shaw Redemption Road Gang Experience, Escape from Alcatraz Marathon Swim and the Midnight Express Turkish Delight. I voted for Burning Man, but we went to Turkey instead. The best part of the trip was Kat Steven’s inmate concert. Folsom Blues in Arabic rocked.
HOUSTON KEYS
No privacy, no peace.
It’s like work without the cubicles. I was pleasantly surprised that the man with the rubber glove was amazingly gentle.
So how did I get here? Who really knows? One minute I’m watching “What’s my Filafil?” and the next I see a woman without a burka. The entertainment police bust in and BLAMMO!
The good side is my mustache is growing in nicely and the torturous screams of my cell mates provide a nightly soundtrack for insanity.
So once I get out I’ll recommend a Turkish Prison to all my friends. Along with the carpets, those are really, really nice.
DAPHNE
Mom said I needed a summer job. It would build character and make some money for school. So I took a job working for my Great Aunt at her turkey farm. I fed the turkeys, cleaned up the barn when they were out in the yard and made sure they had water. One morning I got them all out to the yard and was sweeping up after them when the door to the barn closed. I was locked in.
And that is how I spent my Summer Vacation in a Turkey Prison.
CHRIS
Last year, Shawshank prison was selected to take part in a prisoner exchange program with other prisons around the country. Having earned the warden’s blessing after doing his taxes, my good friend Andy Dusfresne was one of the first prisoners selected for the new program.
But there was a mix-up; instead of going to Anchorage, Andy wound up in Ankara at a maximum security Turkish prison, where he was repeatedly sodomized by packs of horny Turkish bull queers. It was September before the mistake was realized and Andy was brought back home.
That was the longest summer of his life.
TO4M
Ok So I forgot smuggling hash was against the law. I saw Midnight
Express but that was years ago. During the summer in prison I learned
a lot of things. Grubs and water are a good meal once you’ve forgotten
about cheeseburgers. Daylight is overrated. So are showers Stench is
the new Axe . A great way to entertain yourself is to take maybe 10 or
12 dead cockroaches (or snacks as I called them) and toss them to the
cell’s silent darkness then spend hours finding them. It wasn’t so
much fun when they landed in the chamber pot.
WILLIAM Z BURROUGHS
April 14th, 1965
Lincoln died a hundred years ago today.
I have ingested half of a Turkish street market, snorting swirling iridescent powders, rubbing quivering jellies on my flesh, quaffing elixirs from ornate vessels and inhaling ancient magical incense. The cops descend upon the bazaar like a plague of locusts, wrestling me to the ground.
To struggle is futile. But I do so anyway, hurling bodies from me like a wet spinning pinwheel hurls away the damp.
A truncheon falls, and all… goes… black.
The devil inside me pulls at the bars of his prison cell, screaming and belching flame.
Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.
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