This is an updated version of the Weekly Challenge that includes Elisson and Tom, which were borked by gmail.com issues. My apologies to everyone who’s voted so far… the polls have been reset.
Welcome to the seventy-six Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Caleb Bullen of the Black Tie Martini Club.
And it’s Ramadan.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
SOMETHING NEW
Due to popular demand, I am going to include stories that were sent to me, but without a recording. However, since the midget has left for sunny Coral Gables, Florida, those stories will just be posted in the show notes. You’re more than welcome to vote for them, but they will be ineligible for prizes or topic selection.
I feel that this is a fair balance between the podcast and blog natures of this content.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this decision in the comments, and we might possibly come up with an even better and more fair policy for handling these kinds of situations.
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and let me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!
MAD BARD Z
When Ramadan rolls around, my coworker Mohammed fasts during the day.
As the month drags on, he gets more and more irritated and angry.
I asked him why he puts himself through this. What is this all for?
He said that by denying the body nourishment, fasting is supposed to help focus the mind and the soul on spiritual needs.
“Oh,” I said. “I hope it’s working, because from my perspective, it just makes you cranky.”
Then he said “Aren’t you Jewish? Don’t you fast for your holy days?”
I thought for a moment. “Um… I’m supposed to fast? Oops.”
GOMEM
Ramadan, I dread ramadan, my car is always getting blocked in by
hoards of friggin’ taxis, as we have an office next the main city
mosque. I shout out “will you please move them friggin taxis”, all I
hear is “Allahu Akbar” in return. No I dont need a bloody taxi ride,
all I want is just to get my car out.
PAUL
In 2030 we program people. – memory inserts. Put knowledge, memories, the habits of greats onto a chip, and insert.
Normal becomes genius.
And better, people actually add knowledge, experience … great, ever towering brains built on silicon platforms.
What to do about Kreach Don?
Trained in Iraq, the old fashioned way.
Turned Serial killer — kids, mothers, girls, businessmen… even florists!
We don’t kill.. torture
What to do, what to do?
We build a special chip, a Read Only Chip. Fill it with all kinds of memories, very unpleasant, very punishing. Never changing, always fresh.
Then we ROM a Don.
HOUSTON KEYS
Muhammad Smith was famished. The fasting of Ramadan was a rough time for him.
He came across his buddies Muhammad Jones and Muhammad Lee. “Salaam Alekum Muhammad and Muhammad.”
“Alekum Salaam, Muhammad,” came the reply.
“Guys, I don’t know about you, but I am dying here, I would KILL for a pancake!”
“Hey Muhammad!” All three of them turned to see the newcomer, “Muhammad Muhammad al Muhammad racing across the street to meet them.
“Oh crap!” Muhammad said, “It’s Muhammad again.”
“I don’t know what is up with that guy,” was Muhammad’s reply. “He tries too hard, what an overachiever!”
GUY DAVID
– We learned about Red Man month today.
– The Red Man month?
– Well, Tati says that when the Red Men month comes, you can’t eat for the whole month and you pray to that man in pajamas that he let you eat, then he gives you an explosive belt and you can win 72 virgin, I don’t know what those are but I think they are also explosives and it’s fun, fun, fun.
– I think I’ll have a talk with Mrs. Tati. I don’t think she should be teaching you this staff.
– Daddy, can I have an explosive belt for Christmas?
CALEB
Ramadan Dan
He’s the Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
He brings toys
To all the little boys
To the girls he’s mean
Because they’re unclean
He’s Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
He knows you’re hungry
And you’re cranky
He’ll take pictures of your wife
And over them he’ll spank he’s
Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
He brings the joy of Ramadan
Wherever he can
While you’re starving
Just for Allah
Won’t you give this
Man a Dollar?
Ramadan Dan
The Ramadan Man
“That’s not Funny!”
LAIEANNA
Fasting with purpose was Stan’s idea of impressing the health club
ladies. Most did it for health. He would have a religious
experience. After half-ass research into different belief systems,
Ramadan was picked because the month was coming up and no one he knew
was doing it. It still allowed eating at night, and he could
enlighten women to his cause during long hours at the gym. It was
decided till Bill informed him that intercourse from sunrise to
sundown (Stan’s peak action hours) was prohibited. He changed to
Buddhism. After all, the gym was only good for one thing.
TOM
Nurse Philps keep a watchful eye on Dr Actma. The intern was a double threat to Nurse Betty’s patients. The first concern was Doctor Ali’s 16 hours shifts. The second and more pressing was it was Ramadan. Nurse Philps trailed behind Dr. Actma as he made his rounds take note of any notation on a patient’s chart. If correction was needed she gently suggested it. As Ali moved across the floor he hear Betty laughing. “What now?” asked Ali. “Mrs. James is not scheduled for a prostate exam and most assuredly Mr. Juliet isn’t in need of a hysterectomy today.”
ELISSON
He stood on a promontory overlooking the Ross Ice Shelf, surveying the desolate ruins. His tears froze on contact with the cold air. Antarctic summer was very different from summer in the desert where he had grown up. An involuntary shiver seized him.
The training camp had been set up in a remote location so as to avoid the omnipresent Allied sweeps. It had worked – for a while. Who would think to seek al Qaeda here, of all places?
Ramadan had been their undoing.
A month-long daylight-hours fast was tough in the land of Midnight Sun. Only Ibrahim remained.